Splatoon: The Bate Bros.
Octolings Ahoy!
"What's with all the weird stuff lately?" Sharq asked, nibbling on a crabby cake. Splin and Sharq were walking back to Octo Valley, strapped with multiple bags of food. "I mean, there was the Inkslide Park, the people chasing us on the News, us winning flawlessly then getting completely owned? When will we ever get a break?"
Splin yawned. "We'll get a break later. Grinding for coins in Turf Wars to get all this food was tough, but we need to press on."
"Tell me about it, that Slosher chick was a jerk." Sharq frowned. "Cute, but a jerk."
"Besides, we need to save the final Zapfish. If they manage their security as well as they did last time, I'm sure we can get it back."
Sharq chuckled at the level design. They now stood at the same grate as before, near the vending machine.
"Ladies first?" Sharq joked.
"If I had my arms free I'd slug you on the shoulder." Splin said, kicking open the grate and dropping the food in. Sharq did the same, and they both jumped down in squid form to the valley.
Cap'n was pacing back and forth nervously. His eyes were drooping, and his hands were behind his back. The food that suddenly burst out of the manhole didn't help.
"Gar!" Cap'n shouted, falling back. The crabby cakes landed by the shack, Splin and Sharq landing on their feet as well.
"We're back Cap'n, and ready to get that Zapfish!" Sharq said enthusiastically. "Oh and here's your crabby cakes."
"Thank you boys… But I'm afraid I got some dire news… The Octarians are stepping up. They've set up a huge blockade to prevent the final Zapfish from being taken!"
"So they positioned troops on floating platforms as obstacles to prevent us from moving forward. Can't we just Super Jump over them again? It worked well previously." Splin said.
Cap'n shook his head. "Agent B, your smarts may have worked on the previous kettle…"
As well as completely destroy the point of the level…
"But this time is different. You're going up against the elite forces of the Octarians. The Octolings are no walk in the park me bucko." Cap'n explained.
"Octolings?" Sharq asked.
"I'll explain more when you get there. Hop to it Agents!" Cap'n pointed at the kettles floating.
Splin and Sharq sighed. "Aye aye…" They ran through the singleplayer level hub, towards the next kettle and a showdown.
"T-41, do you copy?" A voice rang out from Tai's goggles.
"Yeah, I can hear you, whatever, blah blah blah I'm here." Tai said bored.
The Octarian forces managed to take over the Kelp Dome Turf War stage, where they were setting up a base to counter a certain Inkling duo. Octarian troops were stationed as the main sentries, while Octolings were Super Jumping everywhere, scouting the area. They had managed to pry off a spawn point and install a Zapfish cage in its place, with a Zapfish itself trapped inside. Tai was commanded to sit by the Zapfish, a treat bestowed by DJ Octavio himself, with two other Octoling commanders wearing kelp on their heads. Tai simply thought that this made them look more like kelp-for-brains than usual.
"Alright, L-33 and 7-00, you two must report to the middle of the dome. T-41, you're on your own. Good luck, over and out."
Tai stretched her arms boredly. "'Kay." She stated simply. The voice on the other side of her goggle headset grumbled, before the connection cut off.
Having fun?
Tai stood up and looked around, her Octoshot firmly in her grasp. "Who's there? I'm armed, and I WILL shoot you down."
Relax T-41, not here to hurt you.
Tai relaxed slightly, tapping the side of her goggles. "T-41 to Homebase, if this is a prank, it sure as heck ain't funny." All that came out of the goggles was static noise.
Sorry. Just letting you know that you might wanna brace yourself.
"For what?" Tai asked, staring at the sky.
A couple pals of mine are advancing towards the Zapfish. If you happen to see two Inklings, one wearing headphones and the other a cap, it should be advised that you try not to die. Over and out.
"Wait! Who are you? And what do you mean by, 'try not to die'?" Tai asked again.
Just a voice in your head, looking out for you.
Tai grunted, sitting back down by the Zapfish, who stared at her. Tai looked up at the Zapfish, and lowered her goggles. "'Sup?"
The Zapfish put a tiny flipper on the energy field. Tai grinned, looking ahead at the base. Her grin drooped when she realized that there were streaks of blue running rampant.
"Great, here come the Inkling scum now." The Zapfish smiled in its little sphere, only to stop when Tai shot a look at it. However, Tai smiled as well, and stared at the action. "Hope these guys are good, it'd be a waste of my time to splat something that can hardly aim."
Splin and Sharq were blasting through the base, swimming in their ink and jumping through the paths connecting throughout the dome. Octarian forces attempted to block their paths, only to get splatted by Sharq's Strange Hero Roller or Splin's Factory New Hero Charger. Yeah these references are probably never gonna stop I'm so sorry.
"Man, it sure was nice of the Cap'n to let us use these new weapons!" Sharq said, rolling over a Octotrooper stuck in the ink.
Splin nodded. "This thing works like a charm, it's so clean too!" Splin blasted a floating Octocopter's propellor, prompting it to yell as it hit the ink with an audible, 'thump'. Octolings watching cringed watching the poor guy get rekt, before moving in to attack.
Splin and Sharq moved to the center platform of the stage, where multiple Octolings Super Jumped to surround them.
"Gotcha now suckers!" An Octoling cried out, shooting towards the brothers. Of course, the Octoling AI has trouble aiming in Splatoon, so all the brothers had to do was move to the bridge, edging out of range. More Octolings followed them to the bridge, only to get splatted immediately.
I mean seriously, if you go to Splatoon's single player campaign and stand above an Octoling's ground height, they'll have so much trouble shooting you, it's weird.
"Voice, this isn't a great time." Splin said, more Octolings beginning to surround them.
The Octolings pointed at the two brothers, and whistled. Suddenly, multiple Octotroopers and Octocopters charged at the two. The Bate Brothers ran off the bridge into the Octarian spawn area, where they set up bombs to get rid of any resistance. Sharq rushed in, Splin keeping a watchful eye, both taking out the resistance.
"I see the Zapfish!" Sharq exclaimed standing at the foot of the tower the spawn point would normally be on. The Zapfish waved using its tiny flippers. Sharq walked towards the tower, only to be stopped by a pair of Octolings. The Octolings came from behind the tower, shooting rapidly towards Sharq. Sharq tossed a Suction Bomb, hopping away as a squid, Splin shooting rounds to cover him. The Suction Bomb's whirring alerted the Octolings, who moved out of the spawn more, only to get sniped and crushed. Sharq cheered, Splin giving him a thumbs-up.
"Not bad. The voice in my head wasn't lying, you two owned those guys." Sharq looked up, where an Octoling sat, stroking her gun like it was a cat. "But those two sucked anyways. Now you fight a REAL Octoling." The Octoling took out a Splat Bomb, and jumped off the tower, landing on it with her boots. The shattered bomb covered the area in purple ooze.
Sharq took up a fighting stance, roller poised to strike. "You're on, lady!"
Tai chuckled when hearing the Inkling accept her challenge. "Lady? My, how quaint of you. Next thing, I bet you'll take me out for a refined dinner at a restaurant in your little city." Tai stood up in a dignified manner, and curtseyed.
The Inkling started to snicker at the idea, but quickly shook his head. "Don't distract me. We're here to get that Zapfish back and save Inkopolis!" He yelled, pumping his fist in the air.
"Well then, come over here and get it!" Tai teased, waggling her finger. She then took out another Splat Bomb and tossed it at the Inkling. He yelled out in surprise, throwing it back, the bomb exploding in midair. The bomb served as a distraction, Tai sneaking behind him in Octopus form. Confused, the Inkling placed down a Suction Bomb at his feet, much to the annoyance of Tai, and rolled over to the tower. Not willing to let Octavio get the better of her, Tai shot at the Inkling, slamming him into the wall. The Inkling fell over, dazed.
"Well, that was easy." Tai attempted to splat the Inkling, moving closer, only to get intercepted by a rifle shot. "Of course there would be another one…" Looking at the bridge leading out of spawn, Tai noticed another Inkling carrying a Charger weapon running to help his beaten comrade.
Splin beat back multiple Octotroopers, Octocopters, and even a few Octolings. When he saw Sharq get shot into a wall, that's when he began to panic. Despite his weapon's issue with close range, he began to sprint towards Sharq, and the Octoling, holding a Splat Bomb in his hand. The Octoling smirked, before taking out a Splat Bomb of her own. They tossed the bombs, each hurled past the other, the two firing at each other. Splin took careful aim, but missed, as she was pressing him with ink shots.
Tai was spraying purple ink at the enemy squid, hoping to disrupt his sight and move closer for the kill. However, despite getting hit with some blasts, the Inkling kept moving forward, with his rifle level to his face, firing at her. She began to fire back while moving backwards, getting close to the wall. Suddenly, she tripped over something, hitting the wall with a thud.
Tai hissed in pain, looking at the Inkling with a Roller that tripped her up. The Roller Inkling and the Charger Inkling had cornered and aimed their weapons at her, albeit hesitant.
"What are you two waiting for? Make it quick." Tai said, looking away.
Splin and Sharq stared at the Octoling for a moment, before slowly bringing their weapons closer. Luckily for Tai, a beat could be heard emanating from behind the tower.
Tai grinned ominously. "You two squids better run. It was a pleasure fighting you, but I'd better jet." Tai began to Super Jump, before Sharq stopped her.
"Wait!"
Tai remained in octopus form, brow raised at this request. "What is it, Roller Boy?" She asked.
"...What's your name?" Sharq asked in response.
Tai blinked at the Inkling in confusion. Someone who asked her name? "It's T-41. ...Or Tai, if you're asking by birth."
"Splin." Splin spoke up.
"...Name's Sharq." Sharq said.
Tai stared bewilderingly at the two assailants who immediately gave their names just for kicks, then smiled genuinely. "It's been a pleasure. Mata atode ne, Inklings scum, good luck fighting our leader." With that being said, Tai jumped away.
Splin and Sharq looked at the fading daylight sky, watching the Octoling known as T-41 spiral away. However, they neglected a certain someone.
"Pretty tough to deal with, huh Inkling menace?"
The brothers jumped at the sudden voice, and turned around to face the tower. The Zapfish was still in its sphere encasing, but was being tossed up and down by a giant mech. An Octopus wearing a samurai hat and wielding two wasabi sticks was inside of it, next to a turn table.
"I'll never understand that girl. Decides to mix it up by joining by elite squadron and leaving her poor mother, just to hang out with an old DJ." The Octopus remarked, looking down. Splin and Sharq sat down and listened to the Octopus, interested in his story. The Octopus looked up, and a hint of a smile appeared on his face.
"Liked the story, didn't you? Guess some Inklings are still good listeners after all these years. But enough talk. Now, you came for a certain Zapfish, if I'm not mistaken." The Octopus questioned, patting the Zapfish ball. Splin and Sharq turned to each other, and looked back, nodding.
The Octopus, using the mech hands, laid the Zapfish back on its pedestal, and made a cracking knuckles gesture using the robotic limbs. "Well then, you'd better get ready for a beatdown, and this has nothing to do with music. DJ Octavio in the dome, and I'm here to mash-up your mangled bodies!" Splin and Sharq got to their feet and backed up.
That's your queue guys.
"Alright." Splin said, dragging Sharq away running, the DJ scratching discs and prepping missiles behind them.
And that's how this whole mess started.
"Thanks for repeating that, but I'd appreciate it if you'd SAY SOMETHING HELPFUL!" Splin cried out, the two still being chased by the Octarian King, or President… I dunno, the leader.
"There's nowhere left to swim now, squids! Stand still, I'll drop the bass quick enough so that you won't feel too much pain." DJ Octavio said, raising his fists.
"Not if we can help it!" Someone cried out. Suddenly, an Inkling wearing a pink beanie with a star on it and a pair of sunglasses jumped out, firing a Hero-Shot at the giant mech's fists. Another one followed, this one wearing a flat green cap and a surgical mask.
HMM, I WONDER WHO THESE TWO COULD BE?
"What do you mean voice?" Sharq asked.
Splin stared at the two new Inkling heroes. "He has a point, I feel like I've seen those two somewhere before. Maybe on television?"
"Uh, that's not important right now! The point is, me and Agent 2 got your backs, Agents A and B!" The sunglasses sporting agent said.
"Yep. Agent 1 and I will take care of him for now. You two report back to Cap'n while we take care of this Octopus and his cruddy music." The mouth covering agent said, slightly sassing Octavio in the process.
"Wow, no need to be a party crasher." DJ Octavio stated, firing at Agents 1 and 2.
"Your aim is just as bad as your beats." Agent 2 sassed again. "C'mon Agent 1, let's take this fool to school!"
Agent 1 grinned, tossing Burst Bombs at the robot.
Splin and Sharq took advantage of the situation and quickly Super Jumped away, leaving the two other agents to battle against the DJ.
"Ahoy lads! Have you two retrieved the Zapfish?" Cap'n asked.
"Sorry Cap'n, but we were interrupted by this guy called DJ Octavio… He prevented us from getting a step closer to that fish!" Sharq explained.
Cap'n's eyes widened. "DJ Octavio?! How did you make it out of there in one piece?"
"I believe two of your agents came in and distracted him. Agents 1 and 2 I believe?" Splin stated.
Cap'n's eyes widened even more, to the point where if he got anymore surprised they'd probably jump out of their sockets and do a jig on the ground. "1 and 2?! This is bad, I'll need to send in Agent 3 to help them out! Er, good job Agents A and B, you can go home now! We'll sort this out later, you two deserve a break!"
"Tell me about it." Sharq mumbled.
The two brothers waved goodbye to the flustered captain, and plunged through the grates. On the other side in Inkopolis, the brothers reappeared, and Super Jumped away, back to their homes under the cool night sky.
"Rrgh… They managed to recapture the Zapfish. T-41, for losing the bet, you must now suspend yourself from duty for a few days. This was the greatest opportunity to strike at those Inklings, but now they'll all be alert, partying it up with this Art and Science Splatfest!" DJ Octavio scolded Tai, who rolled her eyes.
"I didn't see you beat those two. You couldn't even take out Agents 1 and 2, and you're calling ME out?" Tai said.
DJ Octavio put a sucker to his forehead. "Don't sass me T-41, I already had to deal with Agent 2. Anyway, you are dismissed, you can go off to your bunk now…"
Tai started for her bed, but turned and said, "Well for what it's worth, you knew that you'd be getting the sass package once you agreed to help me and old momma back home, so thanks."
"For what?" DJ Octavio asked, a sack of ice on his head.
"Helping us out. Goodnight oldie, happy Splatfeeeest~!" Tai drew out the last word, a giggle echoing throughout the base.
Octavio sighed. "What am I gonna do with you, Tai…"
AN: Welcoming Tai, the irresponsible Octoling to the cast! I did say that there would be spoilers, so don't blame me if you saw something you didn't mean to see. Anyways, how about that Art vs. Science Splatfest, huh? From the time I started writing this Author's Note, it had already hit 9:01 P.M., and I had to go eat lunch with my family tomorrow. So, I may have unfortunately cost some skill points for Team Art. Sorry guys! Thanks again to Anon360 and sebastian G, or sebastian830, whichever you prefer! Thank you for telling me that my story can cheer you up, sebastian, gern geschehen! (Hopefully I said you're welcome in German, I'm not too well versed in the languages in the world.) Thanks and apologies to Anon360. My sense of humor has been assaulted with references, memes, easter eggs, and a bunch of other stuff, so I apologize if I overload your senses with references sometimes. Anyways, thanks again everybody, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, hopefully I can help my team out in Splatfest soon. See ya!