Conspiracy Theory of the Day!: I've noticed that when I post a chapter in the day, a bunch of other Splatoon stories post new chapters in the same day. So, maybe if I post more, the other authors will too! Lemme just test it out…
Splatoon: The Bate Bros.
Lazy Sea Creatures
Splin rose from his bed, still slightly exhausted from helping out a dying race. Wobbly stepping out of bed, he walked over to the kitchen in hopes that he would be able to cook something up to eat, only to trip over something.
"Oof!" Splin landed on the wood floor with a thud.
"You mind looking where you're going? I'm trying to sleep here." Splin looked over, and saw Tai relaxing on her usual mess of a bed, in the middle of the floor.
"Tai, what are you doing here?" Splin rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"Weeeelll, when you fell asleep back at the base, I so kindly volunteered to carry you back! You looked knocked out, and it was my kind, little self that decided to help you out. Now, it was hard work carrying you up ALL those hills…"
"Okay, I get it. Thanks." Splin nodded. "You could've woken me up and asked first."
"The other Inklings would've already been in the plaza by then Splin, how am I gonna get through, have Sharq take me in a box again? Wake up and get those gears in your head churning dude!" Tai said.
"...Right. I'm just gonna make breakfast. " Splin walked over to the kitchen again, only to trip again like he was in Brawl.
"What?!" Splin faceplanted into the ground, only to immediately look up, a light bruise on his face, noticing Sharq resting on the kitchen floor, wiped out.
"WHY?" Splin lifted Sharq up, and began shaking him.
"Meh… Turn the ride off, I wanna go home..." Sharq mumbled in his sleep. Splin frowned, dragged Sharq to his bed, and tossed him on it. Sharq didn't seem to mind, and instead kept on catching Zs.
"You people need to stop sleeping on the floor, Tai we're gonna have to buy you a bed or something, and Sharq-"
Sharq snored.
"I dunno, we'll just have to talk about it when he wakes up." Splin huffed.
"That's nice Splin, I'm just gonna ignore you and go to sleep…" Tai snuggled back into her pile of comforters. "Thanks for the mattress…" Tai joined Sharq in the ever popular pastime of dreaming, lightly snoozing.
"...You people are lazy as all shell." Splin sighed. "Well, Tele-Cube, Salty, what about you guys? Want something to eat?"
Tele-Cube had a charging battery on all of its screens, and Salty was resting quietly as always in his little bed. Even the alarm clock was silent, the numbers doing nothing but beep every minute passing. Splin sat down. Normally, when he'd wake up, he'd get put into some sort of weird yet admittedly sort of fun situation with Sharq, or Tai. The only thing weird about this situation is how much these people kept sleeping.
"Well voice, looks like it's just you and-"
Can't, need to train in CS:GO. See you later Splin.
"...Actually, that's not a bad idea." Splin walked over to his bed and picked up his laptop, and began to start up… Splash? I have no good names for a Steam pun right now. Only then did he realize that the Inkternet connection was awful.
"...Right, I'll just have to buy a new router then." Splin thought.
The still tiredInkling jumped over the counter towards the fridge, and began to make another not as fluffy pair of waffles.
"Breakfast. ...Actually, I'll make some more for the others."
After his short yet delicious breakfast, as well as creating a three whole stacks for his hungry companions, he went over by his again picked up the pair of Designer Headphones he always wore, and walked outside. He breathed in the fresh air for a bit, before changing to squid form, performing a super jump and leaving the lazy hills behind, not a sound to be made except the snores of the young and tired.
Splin landed on top of a building this time, overlooking Inkopolis Plaza, with a small grunt of irritation. He surveyed the area, looking for a place he could climb down safely, before he realized something. He mentally smacked himself in the head. The solo brother walked back a few paces, and sprinted towards the edge of the building, jumping down.
"Man, I can't wait to play in Arowana Mall! It's my favorite map!" A light-blue tentacled male Inkling said, walking next to his friend..
"Dude, that place is the best! Maybe we could grab a catfish burger while we're there?" His orange tentacled Inkling buddy suggested.
"Sure, I'm game-"
Suddenly, a blue tentacled Inkling with a pair of headphones dropped from the sky, and landed on the ground, rolling. Despite the high height he appeared to fall from, he appeared fine, minus a couple dirty spots and scratches.
"We DO tech those!" The headphone wearing Inkling smiled. Then he saw the couple of lunch planners, and the smile disappeared as suddenly as his entrance. "Uh, forget you saw that." He said, shaking off the dust and dashing off from the plaza.
The pair of Inklings stood in silence for awhile, before finally moving on, convinced it was some sort of illusion.
Splin was panting, looking behind him to check if the two were in pursuit. He had been running for quite some time, convinced that they were out to question him. "Wait, there's no reason for them to follow me." Splin halted, waiting to catch his breath. "Huff… I must be really bored if I'm willing to jog that far from nothing."
He looked around. The sun beat down gently, illuminating the area ahead. The place contained a large ramp in the middle, with a pool of water surrounding it. Multiple other paths went around it, all elevated and connected with ramps. There were even a few large glass panes, with people in it. There were large billboards and advertisements plastered everywhere, and a large commercial blimp was hovering above the area. He was overlooking the place from a ledge that had a ramp below, cutting two large walls apart, Splin being on the left wall. Behind him was what appeared to be a respawn point, dimmed.
"Arowana Mall? Hmm. Maybe I could find a router here."
Splin looked around, and took a step forward, only for a Burst Bomb to hit the side of the wall he was on. Splin spun, and noticed a team of green colored Inklings, all armed to the beak, or teeth, whichever, and looking to splat.
"...Oh."
"You picked the wrong game to cheat in, Headphones." A green Inkling girl said, looking through her Splatterscope at Splin.
"Hang on, I'm actually-"
Of course, since only a small quarter of the Splatoon online players actually play with friendlies or are willing to stop at a harmless Inkling, the Inkling girl fired at Splin's feet, eliciting a yelp out of our poor Bate Brother, who dropped to the ground outside the green spawn. Splin got up to his feet, and began running towards the middle of the map.
Wait, this seems too familiar…
"Voice?! Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but could you help me out here?!" Splin shouted, trying to climb up the ramp in vain. He mentally cursed himself for not picking up a single weapon.
Don't worry I won't make this chapter too unintentionally similar for long.
The Green Team was slowly advancing. Attempting to Super Jump, he changed to a squid, only to find that the Turf War balance had some sort of interference on him. Splin sat down on a planter that was lodged in the ramp, and waited for his untimely demise. Or at least he did, until he was grabbed and pulled up by someone. Splin gasped in surprise, and began to scratch at the hand that abducted him.
"Ouch! Music Man, you have a funny way of repaying people for saving your life!"
Splin looked up, straight at a light-blue Retro Spec wearing Inkling, with a Krak-On Roller.
"Willie?!" Splin exclaimed.
"How you been, Splin?" Willie laughed, pulling Splin up and giving him a quick hug. "Haven't seen you around since Loudmouth Ari scammed you out of your money!"
Splin breathed a sigh of relief. "Uh, sorry Willie, it's nice to see you too, but- LOOK OUT!"
A Dynamo Roller jumped out of a path above the middle ground, only to get shot in midair. (GUNSHOT BRIDE.) Splin behind him where the shot originated from, greeted by a light-blue Sporty Bobble Hat toting female, blowing out the gun barrel on her Custom E-Liter 3K. She waved, and gave a thumbs-up to the two.
"Thank you so much, Zip!" Splin shouted in response. Zip took both of her hands and aimed them like pistols at Splin with a grin.
Green ink pellets began to fly up the ramp, signaling that it was time for Splin to make like a tree and get the leaf outta there.
Splin's expression changed to that of confusion after hearing that old phrase, shaking his head in response. "So, I'd love to catch up, but I need to get out of here before I get splatted permanently!"
"Didn't you go through the tower? Maybe it's just a weird glitch thing I've been hearing about, like Inklings pretending to be Octolings." Willie asked.
"..." Splin looked at the ground in slight embarrassment. "Actually… I just so happened to… Run all the way here."
"Well, that's good exercise man! Although I recommend that next time you don't walk into a Turf War!" Willie pushed Splin by the exit ramp. "Take that path of ink back to our spawn, we'll try to protect you!"
Splin nodded, and jumped off the opposite side of the middle ground, switching to a squid midair. Willie began to fling ink off the other side of the middle, trying to prevent the green team from advancing. Now, Splin's original plan was to swim through the light blue ink to the safety of Willie and Zip's spawn, but he landed on the ink only to find that he couldn't enter it for some reason. He pressed onto the ink, and put the ink covered hand to the top of his head, the ink leaving an odd fuzzy sensation as it trickled down, borderlining a regular friendly feel and an enemy's painful substances.
"...Oh great."
Splin was one tint short of being light blue, his tentacles still a reflection of the deep blue sea. He began to trudge through the ink slowly towards the light blue spawn. Zip noticed his plight, and jumped down into the ink below, and transformed into a Kraken. She resurfaced underneath Splin, and began carrying him back to the spawn.
"Hold on tight Splin!" She said.
She jumped over multiple ramps, Splin holding on to the long tentacles trailing behind. Once they reached the small raised platform by the spawn, Zip turned back into a normal kid, Splin falling flat due to the displacement of height.
"Unnf. That's as far as I'll take you, please get off of me." Zip said calmly.
Splin looked down, noticing that he was lying on Zip's stomach. He got off, a flustered red look on his face.
"S-Sorry Zip." Splin walked to a less covered area left of the spawn, his hands raised in defense.
Zip waved it off. "Nah, it's fine. You didn't do it on purpose, now that would've inked off Willie."
Splin's eyebrows were raised. "...Wait. You and Willie are-"
"He's the nicest guy I've met." Zip sighed a little, shaking her head. "Uh, don't tell him I said that, I'll never hear the end of that."
Splin stood up straight and nodded. "Oh, thanks again for saving my tentacles."
Zip smiled. "Always with the politeness, huh? I can see why Willie's so friendly with you. Stay here, you'll be safe for the rest of the round, hopefully." With that said, she shrunk into the ink as a squid, and Super Jumped out with a burst of ink in her wake.
Splin sat in the light blue ink, the ink feeling like gelatin compared to the normally smooth and soothing water-like texture or the enemy ink's slight sting and grip at his feet. He sat in the goop, sinking a small amount yet relaxing, until a new voice began to shake him out of his tired doldrums.
"Hey! Stop sleeping around in the corner! We're taking heavy fire out there, it doesn't help that you're the replacement for an Inkling who bailed on us!"
Splin looked up at a male Inkling wearing a pair of 18K Aviators, a Green Cardigan, and a pair of Pro Trail Boots on his feet.
"Uh, actually, I'm here by mistake…" Splin trailed off when the Inkling took off his Aviator sunglasses, looking him in the eyes.
"No excuses, boss. You're going out there and helping us whether you like it or not. Here, you look like you need this."
The Aviator Inkling gave Splin an N-ZAP '85, complete with an ink tank and sub weapon. Splin took it reluctantly and equipped the ink tank on his back, the canister already beginning to fill with blue ink. Splin gripped the N-ZAP gun, quickly getting accustomed to its weight and shape.
Splin blinked. "Wait, I'm not hooked up to respawn! The ink doesn't match with yours, and-"
"Calm down soldier. Look, if it makes you feel any better, I'll defend you." The other Inkling took out a L-3 Nozzlenose.
"...I don't think this'll work." Splin sighed. "But thanks anyways, err…"
"Call me MM." The other Inkling said, patting his cardigan. "I need to move forward, the other two are taking a beating."
The spawn point behind them began to spin in response.
"Meet you there, boss." MM began spraying the Nozzlenose outside of the small gap between the two walls, and jumped down, swimming outside the spawn in the light blue ink.
Splin sighed. Unable to survey the map from a bird's eye view because he wasn't officially playing, he squinted his eyes and tried to discern if he could escape, only to find all the entrances and exits to the mall were shut closed for the match.
Sorry Splin, looks like you're gonna have to play it safe.
Splin put a hand to his face. "...Alright. Just wish I would've stayed in this morning with Sharq, maybe this never would have happened. I wonder what he's doing right now anyways?"
Sharq yawned, getting up from his bed. "Morning Splin, what are we doing today?"
Looking to the left, he saw that his brother's bed was empty, although slightly messy. He blinked, rubbing his eyes, and jumped out of bed, checking underneath the covers and the bed frame itself.
"Salty, have you seen Splin?" Sharq asked his pet snail. Salty opened its eyes, shaking in a "No" fashion.
Tai opened her eyes slowly. Propping herself up using her hands, she looked around. "Come on man… I was dreaming of a world where I didn't have to do anything, let me stay in my realm."
Sharq walked over to the Octoling guest. "Tai, have you seen Splin?"
Tai yawned. "This morning… Why do you ask?"
"He's missing."
"...Maybe he just went to get something? It's not like you two follow each other everywhere, right?"
"I dunno, I'm gonna look for him. He usually tells me first thing in the morning."
Tai looked at Sharq, nodded, and stood up. "Alright. I'll hang here, I don't wanna go out and get blasted by some baka who thinks he'll be a hero for splatting me."
Sharq grabbed a Custom Blaster, waving to Tai, as he opened the doors to the house, ready to Super Jump, but was interrupted by Tai running out.
"He made us waffles!" She exclaimed, her face beaming.
"...Thank Cod for my brother, always thinking ahead." Sharq bounded back into the house and started to dig in, loading up for the journey he'll have ahead.
AN: I Got Some Bad News This Time: So, now we wait to see if my crazy theory is true. I'll try to post chapters at the start of the day, in the Pacific Time Zone of the United States of America at least. In other news, this week, I burnt my right arm, dropped a sandwich on the floor, got completely owned in every multiplayer game I own, and may or may not have shed a few tears during one of the processes. How was your day? Well, the main thing you have to worry about is probably the lack of updates soon, I can type fine with my slightly burnt arm, but it's a pain to do so. I'll try to finish up this tiny episode arc, then I'll have to take a bit of a break, sorry. Enough of my self pity though, let's go to reviews! Yep, Anon360, I couldn't think of a really good way to end the chapter off, so I just decided that the brothers would mostly get away with a bit of tiredness. Sorry, I'll get better at writing those. Also, you are very welcome sebastian830! For my first cameo written directly in the story, I'm glad it was well received! Anyways, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to try and play some Splatoon and actually git gud. Later alligators!