Before We Get Started: I had actually planned to make that previous chapter a reference to MGS5 or possible tie in to a new story, but honestly Anon360, you can tell I got a huge lack of inspiration and flow of storytelling, so I'm pretty stumped, and I apologize for any confusion. I'm gonna try to make the story flow better, but don't be surprised if I get caught up in another chapter. Anyways, I hope you don't take offense to this Anon, but I'm actually going to use your confused thoughts as the whole base of this chapter. If you don't like it however, I can replace it or something. With that said, let's get started!

Splatoon: The Bate Bros.

Odd Times, Aren't They?

Splin sat on his bed, inspecting a pair of aviators sunglasses. It's been a week since Kaz had vanished off the face of the planet. Despite his unnatural disappearance, the crew convinced themselves he was some sort of phantom who had simply helped Splin out, to the reluctance of the headphone wearer. Tai had also left, going back to the Octarian base to sort things out with her superiors, and hopefully not get kicked out for absence. Splin sighed, putting the aviator glasses safely by the alarm clock on the dresser.

"I don't even know what to think is real anymore." Splin stared up at the ceiling, letting his headphones fall to his bed.

"Hey come on Splin, cheer up! You've been sitting there thinking for at least five days now, relax! Kaz was probably just some weird ghost or something." Sharq tried to reassure his brother, playing with Salty. And by playing, he just juggled the Super Sea Snail in the air, a dizzy yet happy look on its face.

"Yeah, but that's just it. Why would a ghost need to play in Turf Wars? He doesn't need money." Splin responded.

"How do you know? Maybe they do." Sharq said.

Splin turned to look at Sharq with an, "are-you-serious-right-now" look, before lying back down and staring at the ceiling again.

Splin groaned. "Also, please remind me why I haven't fixed that hole yet."

Don't sweat it Splin, after all, this story didn't make any sense in the first place.

"...Story?"

Story of your lives?

"Um..." Splin pondered this, but quickly shook his head afterwards. "Gah, that's not the point!"

Dodged a bullet there.

"The point is..." Splin stood up. "We've met phantoms, glitchy yet powerful computer cubes, people in so called other dimensions, I don't know what to believe is normal anymore!" Splin yelled. "Is it too much to ask for just a time when we didn't have to deal with stuff like this?"

"Time."

Splin froze. He and Sharq slowly looked at the Tele-Cube. The cube began to flash a little, and a number was shown on its screen.

"Time, 1:53 PM." The Tele-Cube chimed in a digital voice.

"That's what I mean! Since when do cubes answer you whenever you begin rambling on about something, picking out a specific word?!" Splin sunk into his bed. "It's things like that… I just don't understand…" Splin broke down. "The Inkslide Park getting destroyed… Does anyone care? The Tele-Cube going on a rampage… How can anyone forget that?! Literally no one seems to see or care that the Great Zapfish was stolen, then RETURNED in a few days!"

Sharq looked at his brother's breakdown, sitting by him and patting him on the back. "Maybe we just spend too much time doing weird stuff. Tell you what Splin, how about I play you in a Turf War? We go on opposite teams, and we just try to knock each other out, just for the fun of it! That'll snap you out of it, right?" Sharq smiled hopefully.

Splin rose from his bed's comforts slowly, his eyes emphasizing that he was tired. "Later Sharq, I'm not really feeling it right now…"

"I'm really feeling it!" An energetic voice cried out. "...This was a bad time, wasn't it?"

This pushed Splin over the edge, and he slammed himself into his pillow, a muffled scream could be heard from it. Sharq backed up, and slowly walked out of the house, but not before taking the Tele-Cube and Salty out to save them from any possible hearing damage, leaving Splin to his tirades. Sharq took a seat on a rock outside, hand on his cheek. "Voice, is Splin overreacting?"

Yes and no. I mean, I'm just a disembodied voice that talks to you two all the time. How do we know you two aren't just delusional?

Sharq blinked in confusion. "Doesn't Tai hear you too?"

Well, that rules out that theory. For now, I say we give the poor guy a break, maybe let him play some video games, or relax.

Splin was inside, attempting to watch the television to remove some stress. The first thing that came up was a conspiracy show.

"What did the giant cube robot attack mean? Was it some sort of alien attack? An attempt at socialization… No one may know…" The show ended immediately.

Splin's eyes twitched. "AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGHHH!"

Sharq heard Splin's cry from outside, and immediately looked inside through the window. He sidestepped to the left, a pillow flying out of the glass. He looked in, and saw Splin with his face in his hands.

Okay, I've put way too many dead end references here, and they're not helping Splin at all. Sharq, Splin's gonna stay indoors today. You might wanna find help or something.

Sharq nodded, and waved goodbye to his hysterical brother, Super Jumping to Inkopolis, carrying the two little sentient objects with him.

Sharq landed harshly in the alleyway between the Squid Sisters studio and the Battle Dojo again, the cube and snail shaken up a little as well.

"Oy, guy with the cap."

Sharq turned around, noticing Spyke.

"Hi Spyke." Sharq waved unenthusiastically.

"...Something's off. Where's your normally cheerful exterior, and where's that other bloke you always hang out with? Something happen to 'im?"

"He's going nuts, Spyke. All because of the things we've seen and done recently!" Sharq exclaimed. "I don't know how to help him, either."

"Like what?" Spyke asked.

Sharq hesistated. "Uh… Stuff like when Ari came around."

"Ah. Insane happenings that shouldn't be, eh?" Spyke asked.

"Sort of."

"In all my years as a businessman, one thing I've come to remember is, 'expect the unexpected'. Expectin' everything to be all nice and peachy doesn't last forever. 'Scuse me for a bit." Spyke looked up and spotted a well dressed Inkling man wearing black tinted shades walking this way. He tapped his finger on the ground in an odd, rhythmic way.

The man noticed, his eyebrows raised, and reached into his jacket to pull something out. Sharq gasped, and immediately hit the deck. Spyke tossed a Super Sea Snail shell at the Inkling's head, knocking him out cold. Spyke stood up suddenly, looked around, then quietly tossed the man's unconscious body behind the wall he sat by. Sharq stared wide eyed.

"Like I said, expect the unexpected. Might wanna tell your friend that, but I'd suggest you keep the part about knocking out blokes at a low." Spyke grinned very slightly. "Unless you get into a... Heated situation, love."

Sharq nodded, and sped off in fear. He stood by the Inkopolis Tower, panting.

"Mew. (What's wrong?)" Judd asked, waking up from his small perch.

"Uh, did you see that?!" Sharq gestured to Spyke, who whistled innocently, tapping his finger on the ground like usual.

"Purr. (No.)" Judd yawned. "Meow meow. (You seem tense though. What's going on?)"

"Oh, maybe you can help! My brother's been having some stress issues related to the weird stuff that's been going on."

"Meow? (Like the time you two were on the news running away?)" Judd asked.

"Yeah! Wait, how come you're the only one who remembers that?" Sharq questioned in response. Judd simply shrugged.

"Mrow. (Squid kids purrobably are more concerned with what the pop stars are doing…)" Judd pointed to the Squid Sisters studio. "Mew, mrow. (Sorry Sharq, but I don't think I have a cure for purranoia. Let things simmer down, he'll come to his senses.)"

"Okay… Thanks anyways, Judd!" Sharq said, walking away. Judd sleepily waved, then fell back asleep.

Sharq walked in the plaza for a while, eventually stopping to sit by the Battle Dojo. "I don't get it. Why is Splin so worked up over this? I don't see anything too out of the ordinary…"

Just then, the doors to the Battle Dojo opened, and out popped a female Inkling repeatedly shifting from squid form to humanoid, repeatedly, somehow still moving forward while doing so.

"Dang it, stop squidbagging!" A voice yelled out.

Another female Inkling burst out of the Dojo, threatening to splat the now giggling squidbagger with her sniper rifle capable of shooting out high pressurized bursts of ink bullets in an almost perfect straight line.

"See? Just another normal day." Sharq put his hand on his chin in wonder. "There are people jumping around as squids, and other people holding weapons out all the time here, I don't see- Wait."

I think he's onto something ladies and gentlemen.

"There are no Turf War weapons allowed in the plaza!" Sharq exclaimed.

...And he lost it.

"Other than that, I don't get what Splin's so riled up about." Sharq wondered out loud again.

Sharq could feel a shaking in his pockets, and realized he still brought Salty, his pet Super Sea Snail that LIVED IN A SHELL MADE OF CRYSTAL, WORTH 30,000 GOLD COINS.

"Aw, sorry Salty. I forgot to feed you, don't worry man. I'll find some food for you." Sharq stood up and looked around, completely missing the point, and decided to walk to a nice diner to get something for Salty, maybe for something for his troubled sibling back home. He walked out, only to remember something. "Oh wait, I can just do this!" Sharq became a squid, and Super Jumped away, carrying Salty and the Tele-Cube with him.

As Sharq left the plaza filled with sentient sea creatures that can stand on two feet, he wondered how his borderline insane brother was at home.

Splin sat in front of the television, watching the news. The poor Inkling's eyes were tired and red around the ends, a result of his attempts at justifying the logic of his universe.

"Today in news," Rus Heba began on screen, "Major disputes with the so called, Octarian race has been dwindling. There are still some resistance, though it is minimal, the attacks seem to be coming from different nations of the species, a rebel movement, if you will." This was the the point where Splin had to shut off the television.

"Huh… Two cephalopod creatures of nature, battling it out for turf using deadly paint… Nothing wrong with that…" Splin had fallen to the floor.

A light had fallen upon him. Splin had concluded that he was being visited by an angel of sorts, that his time on the world was done. But it just turned out Tai had broken in through the roof.

"Hey guys! Sorry about the roof, I tried to Super Jump here, but that's not the point. I actually came to-" Tai paused, and looked at the floor, eyebrow raised. "Cod Splin, you look awful."

He's been debating whether or not the things he sees in life are normal or not.

"I can see it's been working WONDERFULLY for him." Tai sarcastically replied. "I think I'll just come back later…"

Splin looked up. "N-Now there are three holes in the ceiling." Splin whispered. "W-What is even…"

Tai cringed at that, and decided to throw Splin a bone. She picked him up, and laid him on the bed carefully.

"...Hmm." Tai examined him from head to toe, then snapped her fingers. "Huh, this reminds me of an issue some of the other Octoling recruits suffered from. Whenever they would be entered in a combat zone, some of them would faint at the splatting of others. Most would be traumatized for a while, the worst of them getting nightmares and such… This isn't good."

Sharq entered the room just after she said that, which doesn't amount to much because there was no punchline, but he did perform a rad entrance through the hole he made a while ago. A few chunks of roof were removed in the process, but that wasn't immediately noticed.

"Hey Splin, I brought you food, don't worry man!" Sharq said, holding up a paper bag. "Uh, hi Tai. Sorry, if I'd known you'd be here, I'd buy you stuff too."

"It's fine. But could you give me a hand with him?" Tai pointed to Splin, shivering.

"Splin!" Sharq ran over to his bedside. "Splin, can you hear me?!" This only got him to shiver more.

"Sharq, calm down! If you bother him too much, he'll lose his grip. Just let him be." Tai pulled him back.

Sharq looked at Splin with worry. "Do you think it was a bad idea to go through all of those things?!"

Tai tilted her head. "Yes and no. Yes because, well, look at him. If I didn't know any better I'd honestly think he had been run over or something. No because you guys did help us out, even if it was a mistake. I mean, seriously. Who decides to go against their entire race's rules to help out another dying race? That's stuff you hear in a fantasy novel or something."

Cough.

"Just hope he isn't suffering..." Sharq said, looking back at his Splin, now asleep.

Meh. I'll take care of this.

Sharq and Tai raised their heads and looked straight up.

"What are you going to do, voice?" Sharq asked.

Just going to talk to him…

Everything went silent, except for the small chirps of birds outside. Sharq and Tai looked at each other, deciding to take a seat and wait, Tai grabbing a bag of popcorn.

"What?! Where did you get that bag of popcorn?" Sharq asked again.

"Usually the Octolings that break down have something absolutely absurd to say after they break down." Tai admitted, popping one into her mouth. "They tend to bark back at us, try and confuse us, then escape or something. It's pretty hilarious, actually." Tai giggled ominously.

"...Does it end well?" Sharq asked hopefully.

Tai stopped giggling and smiled nervously. "...Somewhat?"

"...So what you're saying is, that all of these odd occurrences that have been happening is just going to happen regardless of what we do? There is no point in trying to figure it out?"

Somewhat, yes. You're smart, you've figured out a small idea of it.

"Huh, that would explain a lot, but still doesn't completely answer my question…"

Don't worry too much about it Splin, just don't sweat it. You've come this far, and you're gonna let logic get in your way? You're an Inkling, a humanoid figure with natural blue tentacles for hair that shift color, and you shoot deadly paintballs for sport.

"That still makes little logical sense."

"Don't sweat it boss." Another voice chimed in, recognized as MM. "Seriously, just don't. It'll confuse a lot of people if you continue on with this."

"Kaz, didn't you completely vanish?"

"Not completely. Just sent back to where I belonged." Kaz stated.

"Pally, lemme tell you one thing. In my job, it's best to shoot first and ask questions later. Otherwise you might end up somewhere six feet undah, if you catch my drift." A familiar cocky voice added.

"So, just continue on like normal? You know that there are young pop stars that sing AND cast the news, right?"

Yeah. Sharq and Tai are waiting for you anyways…

Splin mentally sighed. "Fine... Wait, is it safe for you to be telling me this information? Would the universe collapse spontaneously or something?"

Again, don't worry about it. This was just to snap you out of your doldrums.

Splin's vision, well, any sights around him that weren't pitch black, went dark.

Splin woke up with a cold sweat. He looked around, a surprised Tai and Sharq staring back at him. Tai could be seen stuffing a bag of sorts away with a blush. "H-Hey guys. Sorry about overreacting e-earlier. ...Why am I so cold?" Splin felt the top of his head, a sack of ice was placed on top.

Welcome back to the land of the living, where everything is still confusing and contrived, and cameos are shoehorned in for no reason.

"Still have little to no idea what you mean exactly, voice." Splin admitted.

"Wait, you've been talking to voice?" Tai asked.

"What'd he say? Did you learn the secrets of the universe, maybe?" Sharq gasped dramatically.

Splin chuckled. "No, but we can expect more weird stuff to happen later… What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"You completely blanked out on us, and you expect us to go with an, 'Okay, he's fine now, problem solved'?" Tai asked irritably.

"If I'm going to be honest, that's how we've done things in the past too…" Splin chuckled again, albeit nervously.

"Dude! Come on, none of the Octolings that break down like that go off with a pat on the back and a flipping lollipop or something!" Tai's eyes narrowed.

"This might be an awkward time to say this, but uh… I got food, Splin." Sharq raised the bag of food up.

"Thanks." Splin happily accepted the bag of food, and already began to snack, the other two just watched in a weirded out silence. Splin stopped eating, and looked at the other two cephalopods. "Uh… Apologies, you want some?"

Tai groaned softly, and took out a bag of fries. "Whatever man…"

Sharq took out a sandwich, and began chowing down. "If I didn't decide to eat, I would still be questioning you."

Splin just sat there, and shrugged. "Thanks for the food…"

After the food was finished and done, the three of them had settled into their cozy mattresses, Tai once again opting to snooze in her mess of a bed, but moved a little closer to the brothers' beds in case Splin decided to rough someone up. Sharq dozed off reluctantly, keeping an eye on Splin, who fell asleep instantly. The three slept peacefully, despite the complete disregard for any normalcy.

Splin woke up from the previous night's rest, not quite refreshed. Looking outside the window, he could see it was still dark out. He walked up and out of his bed, picking up the remote to the television, careful not to wake up Sharq or Tai. Immediately after turning on the television, he was not at all surprised to what was being reported on.

"Good morning Inkopolis!" Callie greeted her audience as usual, Marie standing by her. "It's time to announce the current battle stages!"

Splin slowly blinked.

"Our first stage today is Saltspray Rig, an oil rig still active, with real live oil!" Callie bubbly stated.

Marie snickered. "Little too much coffee in your cup today, cous?"

Splin shut off the television. "...Business as usual…" He said, going back to sleep.

AN: This is awkward for me to say...: When I had first started this story, I had wanted to write about the day-to-day adventures of the two Inkling brothers who just jump from story idea to story idea, finishing off each one in an episodic fashion without too much continuity. Unfortunately, I got a little too wrapped up in the lore, so I apologize for those who got kinda lost… Be aware that the story might not continue normally from here on out, and I apologize again for alienating some viewers… Time to answer reviews once more! Anon360, if I am going to be completely honest here, even I'm not sure where this story is going! I'm running out of ideas, so I'm gonna think some up and try to integrate them well, be sure to whack me on the head with this bat if I make another weird as all heck chapter. Anyways, thanks again for reading, and farewell to sebastian830, I hope you have fun wherever you go, and thank you for reviewing my story thus far! This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, signing out!