When Ritchie woke up the following morning she was disappointed to see that she hadn't gotten her wish. She'd woken up to an empty bed, which wasn't unusual – she was generally the late riser out of the two of them. When she got up and moved downstairs she found Izaya sat at his computer.
"Morning, Ritchie-chan," he greeted her brightly in his usual faux cheery manner. His dark hair was sticking up on one side like he'd been tossing and turning, but other than that he seemed as right as rain.
Ritchie couldn't believe it. He'd been so out of it by the time they'd gotten back to his place last night that she'd had to literally help get him into bed. She'd been so sure that he'd be ill today… She'd been hoping for it. The amount of times he'd purposely harassed her when she'd been hungover – she would have given anything to be able to do the same.
But no. The damn tyrant was completely fine and it was highly unlikely that he'd ever touch alcohol again. She'd missed her opportunity. Unless maybe she could find a way to tie him down and force feed him tequila…
"How are you not ill?" she grumbled.
"Because I'm not like you. I happen to be a bit more hard-wearing." Izaya shot her an amused look. "You're actually upset that I'm not, aren't you?"
"Well you'd totally deserve it," insisted Ritchie, heading for the kitchen so that she could ransack the fridge. She may not have been hungover either, but she always craved greasy food on mornings after she'd been drinking.
"Was I a pain last night?" asked Izaya. He sounded positively thrilled by the idea.
"You don't have to sound so happy about it," said Ritchie.
"It just shows my lesson worked," said Izaya smugly.
"Yeah, yeah…" Ritchie still didn't get what kind of guy purposely got drunk to show his girlfriend how annoying it was… But then the fact that she was comparing Izaya to normal guys was clearly the problem. "Hey, you want some of this?" She held up a pack of bacon that she'd pulled from the fridge.
Izaya made a face. "No thanks."
Ritchie just shrugged, neither understanding nor caring about his distaste. It wasn't like it was too early or anything… Either way she definitely wanted a nice hot sandwich, so she set about buttering some bread before she started cooking. She hated overcooked food and she had a nasty habit of burning things if she didn't pay attention to it.
Izaya soon joined her in the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Ritchie had just been wondering if he was as well as he was acting – he seemed a little quieter than normal – when he asked cheerfully, "So does it bother you that I can clearly handle alcohol better than you can?"
"Yeah right," Ritchie snorted. "If I'd had as little vodka as you had last night I wouldn't have even been drunk."
"Believe what you want," said Izaya airily. "You've still been far worse than me before."
"Whatever." Ritchie rolled her eyes. "I'm still pissed at you for ruining my shoes. You owe me some new ones."
"Collateral damage, Ritchie-chan," Izaya insisted.
"Collateral damage, my ass!" exclaimed Ritchie, giving him a shove. "Don't try and get out of it."
She pushed Izaya about all the time, to which he'd usually push back or make some annoying remark. But to her surprise he didn't respond quite the same way this time. Instead all of the colour drained from his face. "Don't do that," he warned her in an odd voice.
Ritchie frowned. That was very unlike him. "Hey, what's up with you?" she asked, scrutinising his face. "You've gone really pale."
It was like flicking a switch. Just like that, he seemed to revert back to normal. "Aww, are you actually worried about me? Do you want to play doctor and patient?"
Ritchie sighed. "In your dreams." He still looked very white, but there was no doubt that his annoyingly jovial manner had returned in all its glory. Maybe she'd imagined it… "Are you sure you don't just feel a little bit fragile this morning?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Ritchie-chan," Izaya scoffed. "I told you I'm not as fallible as you."
Ritchie just rolled her eyes again. "If you say so." Tired of the seemingly pointless conversation, she turned her attention back to the bacon she'd been intending to cook before Izaya had distracted her.
By the time she'd finished putting her sandwich together Izaya had disappeared upstairs. She wondered if he was maybe still a little drunk… It was possible – she'd certainly had plenty of experiences with that herself on following mornings. It would explain his weird behaviour. And he'd already shown last night that he could disguise the effects somewhat.
She wolfed down her sandwich in a matter of minutes. She'd always had a hearty appetite for her size, and she certainly didn't waste time with ridiculous mousey nibbles like most girls seemed to. Plus right now she was more interested in where Izaya had disappeared to.
She was hoping to find him passed out somewhere upstairs in some ungainly position – that would certainly be an opportunity she wouldn't want to miss out on. But what she did find was even better…
When she'd discovered that the bedroom was empty she'd then checked the bathroom. Izaya was kneeling next to the toilet and vomiting into the bowl. The damn troll had been faking his wellbeing all along.
"You asshole, you are hungover!" exclaimed Ritchie, though she was more pleased than annoyed. She should damn well think so! "You still think your little lesson was a good idea?"
Izaya spat bitterly into the bowl. "Well I can't say I was really planning on this part," he admitted grouchily.
Ritchie grinned. Now this was justice right here. "I hate to tell you but as much as you like to think otherwise, you're still just human like the rest of us."
Izaya didn't respond to her comment. Eventually he sat back and rested the side of his face against the cool steel of the bathtub. "How do you do this so often?"
Ritchie moved across to sit on the edge of the bath next to him. She tousled his hair playfully. God, was it good it being this way round for once… "Years of practice," she told him.
Izaya didn't even try to move away from her hand. Damn, he really was ill... It was wonderful. "And you think it's worth it just for one night of intoxication?"
"Every time," said Ritchie without hesitation.
Izaya closed his eyes. "You're a strange human, Ritchie-chan."
"Actually that's one of the few things that makes me normal," Ritchie disagreed, remembering what Sei had said to her before about how it was natural for twenty-two-year-olds to drink loads.
Izaya just made a non-committal noise in response. Though still amused, Ritchie felt the slightest pang of sympathy. She knew from many, many personal experiences that hangovers weren't fun – especially the first ones. She certainly wasn't turning soft on him by any means, but this was at least something she could sympathise with.
"You want some water?" she asked.
Izaya gave her a baleful look through bloodshot eyes. "You're not going to spike it again, are you?"
He looked and sounded so pathetic that Ritchie couldn't help but laugh. "Well they say that the hair of the dog is the best technique…" she started teasingly, but Izaya just groaned at the mere thought of more alcohol. She laughed again. "I'm kidding. I promise it'll just be water."
Izaya sighed. Even he knew that lying was one thing Ritchie didn't really do. "Okay then."
Ritchie complied and got up. "It's not like you'd have any alcohol here that I could spike it with anyway," she pointed out. That was the dullest thing about Izaya's apartment – zero alcohol.
"For all I know you probably carry some around with you," replied Izaya sardonically.
Ritchie just rolled her eyes and ignored his last comment. He was clearly still behaving like himself at least. She went back downstairs to fetch her piece offering of water, still smiling to herself. For once she'd gotten exactly what she'd wanted. There was nothing sweeter than payback.
When she returned Izaya hadn't moved an inch and his eyes were closed again. Had he fallen asleep? Ritchie crouched down next to him and examined him closer, trying to decide. She set the glass of water down on the floor and reached out tentatively to try and poke him.
"Don't even think about it," said Izaya without even opening his eyes. Yep, he was definitely still himself.
Ritchie grinned. "Yeah okay, warning heeded." She slid the glass of water closer towards him. "Your water's right next to you. Don't spill it or you'll have to clean it up yourself."
"Charming."
"And trust me, manual labour's no fun when you're hungover," Ritchie warned him, still grinning.
"I'll take your word for it," said Izaya. He then sighed. "So tell me… Am I boring like this?"
"A little bit, yeah," said Ritchie. She decided not to tell him how amused she was by the whole situation. That would be more fun later on when he was in a better state of mind.
The barest smirk crossed Izaya's lips. "So you really do see what it's often like for me then." He made it a statement rather than a question. Ritchie could see what he was doing and it had absolutely no effect on her.
"True… But unlike you I drink for pleasure, rather than trying to teach someone some weird-ass lesson," she pointed out. "So why don't you tell me… Do you think the hangover's worth it?"
"…I haven't decided yet."
Ritchie just laughed and mussed Izaya's hair again teasingly. He shot her an annoyed look but still didn't make any attempts to move. Oh, this really was fun. "Well try and recover soon," she told him, echoing words he'd once said to her. "I wouldn't want you to suffer too much."
This time it was hard for Izaya not to catch on to the amusement in her voice. "You won't be laughing later," he grumbled, though his ridiculous state just made his threat all the more amusing.
"Oh I think I will be."
XXX
Annoyingly, Izaya was right. Ritchie wasn't laughing later on. The entertainment value soon wore off when she realised that Izaya really was dull when hungover. Worse still, it just proved his point even more.
She knew she could have quite easily just left and found something to do elsewhere… But it was highly likely that this was the only hangover Izaya would ever get – she wanted to make the most out of rubbing it in as soon as he was well enough for her jibes to sink in properly. Sure, she'd already made a few jokes at his expense… But it wasn't quite as fun when he couldn't bite back.
The last time she'd been to check that he was still alive she'd found that he'd fallen asleep on the bathroom floor. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Hopefully when he woke up again he'd be feeling more sociable. But until then, at least, she'd have to entertain herself.
She occupied herself with his computer for a little while, but the appeal of that didn't last. Before she'd moved to Ikebukuro surfing the net and chatting to people online had pretty much been the peak of her social life, living in such a quiet little town. She didn't want to fall back into those times again.
She sighed and lounged back in the chair, putting her feet up on the stack of box files under the desk like she always did. She kicked one of them back into place a little to make her footrest more sturdy. Why did Izaya even have so many of these things? It wasn't like he was businessman, driven by paperwork. He was only an information broker.
Only an information broker…
Ritchie glanced up at the stairs. She had a golden opportunity here… The files put together by an information broker? They were bound to be full of interesting stuff. Maybe even stuff that she could use to her own advantage.
The apartment was still quiet. Izaya wasn't likely to be rising any time soon… Though he'd always pretty much allowed her to just wander about the apartment and do as she wished, she would never have dared to start going through his things with him around… But right now he was out for the count and she certainly wasn't going to pass up the chance to snoop.
She pushed the chair back and grabbed a couple of the box files, bringing them up onto the desk. She spent the next hour going through all of them. She eventually ended up running to fetch her phone so that she could copy out some of the more interesting information that she'd found. Once she'd finished the box files she made a start on the folders in the bookcase at the back of the room.
She definitely found out some fascinating stuff. Dirt on people she'd actually heard of in the city, scandals about people she didn't know, information on who was in the Dollars, the Blue Squares, a disbanded gang called the Yellow Scarves… All the while she still paid close attention to any noises from upstairs.
Ritchie couldn't believe how much she'd found out in the space of a few hours. She should have tried to do this much sooner! She had no idea how she could use any of this to her advantage yet, but some of it was just too good to waste and forget about. She made sure she made notes of anything she thought could possibly come in handy later on.
She didn't dare venturing upstairs with her search in case Izaya woke up. She had plenty to go on downstairs still. She managed to comb the whole of his study before he'd even stirred. Besides all of the files she didn't find anything else of interest though. His personal life seemed to be really quite dull… That or it just wasn't documented like his work life. The latter definitely seemed like the more likely option.
The only other curious thing she discovered was that one of the cabinets in the study was locked. Izaya's work files were all quite easily accessible when you thought about it, but for some reason he was determined to keep the contents of this cabinet a secret.
Ritchie hadn't found a key anywhere during her search and she didn't know how to pick locks. The key was likely hidden away upstairs somewhere, but that was quite dangerous territory right now. She just had to accept that this was one thing she wasn't going to find out about… At least not yet anyway.
She finished off her investigations in perfect timing. She'd only just flopped back onto the couch, wondering what she could do next to occupy her time, when Izaya appeared on the stairs. He'd changed his clothes and looked much healthier than he had earlier.
"You look better," Ritchie observed, feeling that bite of amusement again at how the tables had turned for once.
"Of course I do," replied Izaya casually as he dropped down next to her on the couch, once again acting like nothing had even happened. Well now that he was more talkative and had all the colour back in his cheeks Ritchie wasn't going to let it slide this time.
"Don't try and act so peachy – you were a wreck this morning," she reminded him.
"Well that's what you're like most mornings," Izaya pointed out.
"You can't be all high and mighty about that now that you've been in the same state too," Ritchie protested. "Hypocrite."
"I can when I know it won't be happening again," countered Izaya. "For me, at least."
Ritchie rolled her eyes. Geez, was every other thing just going to be another dig at her? "What a shame," she said, only partly out of sarcasm. She then grinned involuntarily. "You really were ridiculous last night. Besides the shoe destroying incident, it was actually quite amusing."
Izaya raised his eyebrows, apparently not impressed that his plan hadn't worked so successfully after all. "Oh really?" he asked sceptically.
"Really. I kind of wanted to point you in the direction of Shizuo and see what would happen," Ritchie said teasingly.
Izaya put on his best hurt look. "That's not very nice. We all know what a big brute Shizuo is – he could have easily killed me if you had."
"Well that's what I was counting on," Ritchie pointed out, attempting to sound indifferent about it.
"You're so heartless, Ritchie-chan," said Izaya dramatically. "Wouldn't you be upset if I died?"
"Actually I think it would be quite entertaining."
A smirk lit up Izaya's face as he tried to decide whether she was being serious or not – that was all just part of the fun after all. He leant in towards her, forcing her to lie back against the couch. "Really now? Then maybe I'll have to change your mind about that…"
As always, Ritchie was happy with this particular turn of events. "Take your best shot," she dared.
Izaya's smirk widened and he obediently inclined his face closer to hers. Ritchie was the first to close the gap between them, fisting both hands into his hair and pressing her lips hard against his. She was grateful to discover that he'd found the time to brush his teeth before coming downstairs.
She pushed her tongue into Izaya's mouth, exploring the inside of it. All the while her mind was still alight with all of the information she'd found out. Information that Izaya had found out. Her whole body buzzed from the idea that she really did have the most interesting, exciting lover she could have ever hoped to find. And excitement was the one fixation that always did very powerful things to her.
With the sudden peak in desire she felt the need to speed things up. She kissed and nipped at Izaya's mouth with more force, her hands moving straight for the belt hooked through his jeans. She'd only just unbuckled it when he pulled back slightly, chuckling. "Ritchie-chan… Anyone would think you're some kind of sex addict."
"You were the one who started it," argued Ritchie. Technically. Kind of. Why was he stopping her now?
"And then you thought you'd try and take control. Naughty, naughty," Izaya taunted, capturing both of her hands.
"And you just decide to keep right on fucking talking," groaned Ritchie. She really didn't want to play games right now – at this moment she had more appealing ideas in mind.
Izaya just continued to grin at her in amusement. "So why don't we talk about something you are addicted to?"
Ritchie groaned again. Why did he always insist on doing this to her? He'd force her into a position that she couldn't get away from and, quite honestly, didn't want to get away from… And then he'd just start yappering on about something that was probably best avoided.
She said as much out loud. "Why do you always do this to me?!"
"Because it's fun," replied Izaya simply, still grinning like a jack-o lantern.
Ritchie rolled her eyes. "I'm sure," she said dryly. That was his answer for everything. "Didn't we cover this subject already? I thought your stupid little lesson was meant to be the end of it."
"Don't be silly, Ritchie-chan," mocked Izaya. "That was only the beginning."
Ritchie sighed. Of course it was. "So what are you trying to get at?"
"What I think is that you should try not drinking alcohol… at all," Izaya proposed.
Ritchie raised her eyebrows, wondering where he was going with this. "And why should it matter to you? The only issue you ever have with it is that I piss you off if I come round here when I'm still drunk. But I compromised with that and purposely never drank around you or came back here if I'd already had too much… So what's the problem?"
"You're missing the point," said Izaya, almost condescendingly. "This isn't for me or even for you. I just want to see if you can do it."
Ritchie made herself count to five in her head, resisting the urge to scream at him in frustration. "You're still not really explaining the why here."
"You don't know me at all, do you Ritchie-chan?" Izaya tutted.
"Why don't you humour me then?" said Ritchie, still trying to sound calm. This really wasn't the best sort of time to start up a proper conversation with her.
Izaya's grin returned. "Gladly." He forced her back even more so that was lying down completely on her back, using the weight of his body to effectively keep her pinned down. He held her hands back over her head. "Are you sure you're listening?" he asked teasingly, voice low.
Ritchie gritted her teeth, feeling increasingly annoyed and even more turned on. He never exactly made it easy for her to concentrate. "I swear I will find some way to hurt you if you don't get on with it."
Izaya laughed. "Glad to see I've got your attention. Now listen up… I'm sure you at least know that I love humans. And I also love to see humans in different circumstances – particularly ones that could prove difficult to them… I've never seen an addict quit their addiction cold turkey before. I think it could be quite… interesting."
Ritchie stared up at him, unimpressed. "So you basically just want me to be a guinea pig?"
"Basically," agreed Izaya, seemingly pleased that she'd caught on.
"Not happening," said Ritchie shortly without having to think about it. It wasn't like there was anything in it for her.
Izaya looked amused. "Don't think you'd be able to do it?"
"I could if I wanted to," said Ritchie pointedly. "But I don't want to give up alcohol forever just for some stupid game of yours."
"Oh it wouldn't be forever," Izaya corrected her cheerfully. "This is only an experiment after all. Say… for a month?"
A month?! Fuck, that was still a long time… "So not happening," Ritchie repeated with more emphasis.
"Really? What a shame," said Izaya in the same bright manner, not sounding the least bit disappointed. "Then I guess there's nothing else for it." He released Ritchie's hands and in one swift movement he'd pushed himself off of her and scooted down to the other end of the couch.
Ritchie felt a pang of dissatisfaction. Wasn't he even going to finish what he'd started? Despite Izaya's irritating habit of striking up conversations at the most inappropriate of times, she'd been more than happy with the rest of the situation they'd been in. Well if she had to chase him herself then she would.
Izaya watched in amusement as she crawled along the couch after him. But when she reached him he held up a finger. "Ah, ah. Bad Ritchie-chan," he taunted, waggling his finger at her. "If it's not alcohol you're giving up then maybe there are… other things you can try going without."
Ritchie just stared at him again, stopping in her tracks. Was he giving her a ban on sexual activities? "Are you seriously saying what I think you're saying?"
Izaya still looked bemused. "What do you think?"
Ritchie couldn't believe it. What kind of person did that? "Screw you then," she said, slumping back on the couch and glaring at him. "You're an asshole. Are you really that desperate to get enjoyment out of some weird experiment?"
"Consider me guilty – I can't help it if I get bored sometimes," said Izaya casually with a shrug. "And I have to find entertainment somewhere, since you're clearly unable to handle giving up your one vice…"
"Of course I'm not," said Ritchie hotly. "I just don't want to do it. Don't try and goad me."
"Why; is it working?" grinned Izaya.
"No," replied Ritchie stubbornly, folding her arms across her chest and sitting in irritated silence for a while.
Izaya followed her lead, though he still seemed thoroughly entertained by the whole situation. He pointedly reclined back on the couch. He had the annoying ability to do it so that his posture emphasised the length of his body in long perfect lines. Ritchie knew that he was doing it on purpose… But she couldn't seem to make herself completely ignore it.
She was reluctant to give in and open her mouth, but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to help herself. "So say I did agree to the first… experiment," she started, pointedly not looking at Izaya now. She knew the exact smug look he'd have on his face. "Can I still indulge in other 'vices' then?"
"I suppose you could," said Izaya, his tone now heavy with amusement.
"Good."
Before Izaya could even react Ritchie had all but leapt across the couch at him, pushing him down roughly onto the cushions and straddling his waist. The briefest flicker of surprise crossed his face before it was quickly chased away by his usual smirk.
"If I'd have known you were this eager I'd have stipulated two months for the experiment," he said teasingly.
"Tough, we're sticking with the first one," said Ritchie shortly. "I'm gonna agree to this whole no alcohol thing so that I can prove to you that I can do it. I just have one other condition…"
"And what's that?" asked Izaya, still grinning.
Ritchie pressed a hand firmly over his mouth. "Absolutely no talking for at least the next half hour."
XXX
Author's Note!
I've kinda fallen out of the habit of writing detailed author's notes lately, so I'd just like to use this to seriously apologise for how long it's taken me to update this!
Life's been pretty hectic ever since my holiday in the summer. Right now it's kind of at a peak. My dad's just come out of hospital after having a big operation (I'm not saying this to get sympathy, just to let you know where everything stands right now – he's actually doing really well considering!) He can't walk without crutches at the moment so I'm having to do a LOT around the house to help out since my mom always works late.
Aaand on top of that I've been having to do loads of overtime at work because of the store refit we have going on right now. Seriously awful timing! T_T So right now I just write whenever I get the chance, but I don't get as much free time as I used to. Hopefully things will be getting back to normal by Christmas, but until then I'm still not gonna stop!