Splatoon: The Bate Bros.
Rem-Ixed Memories
"...Everything's so dark… Nngh… My head hurts... Where am I? ...Wait a second. Wh-who am I?! W-Why is everything so dark?! Agh! Okay, okay… Calm down. Just… Try to remember something. Open your eyes, try and find something. ...Okay, keep your eyes shut, that works too. Hhuuu... Why do I… Why do I feel so… Sad…"
"Yet… Strangely happy?"
Splin woke up early. Extremely early. He rose groggily out of his bed, attempting to perceive the time, the alarm clock nowhere to be seen. Grumbling, he attempted to walk around to find the grumpy device, only finding that each blind step he took would end in a stumble. Groaning after each fall, he stood back up after each misstep, finding his way to the stairs in his home, walking upstairs to the next floor, or at least the area that somewhat qualified as a floor, yawning quietly. Opening his eyes to the maximum they could before even the break of dawn, he looked out, leaning on the railings placed on the roof, looking over the grassy hills he called home. After a while of searching in the dark for anything interesting, he decided to go down and exercise somewhat, slipping under the railings as a squid, landing softly on the grass by the house's entrance, stretching his tentacles, when he tripped over something again.
"...Really Splin?" He scolded himself, picking himself up.
Looking around to find what he tripped over, he was prepared to give the offending rock or twig a "lecture" on proper manners. He was not prepared, however, to see a grown female Inkling resting by the foot of the hills. She hardly moved, although her eyes twitched slightly in rebellion. She wore a Hero Suit, although it was in an absolute wrecked condition, sparks of electricity popping out of the ruined headset, luckily not catching fire, but somehow, her whole body looked completely intact despite the ruined look of the suit. His eyes widened in surprise, and he began running towards her, not before talking to the rock he tripped over.
"Uh, all past transgressions are forgiven, I need to help her!" Splin explained to the rock. "...Man. I'm really tired"
As Splin ran off to assist the fallen mystery woman, the rock rustled, though hardly noticeable. Ignoring the now content rock, Splin slid down the hill incline in squid form easily, stopping once he hit the soft grass at the bottom. Landing by the unconscious Inkling woman, he inspected the older Inkling, his breathing at a temporary halt. Taking two fingers, he felt her neck for a pulse, feeling multiple beats. He sighed, glad to see that she was still among the living, pausing for a minute, mentally freezing.
"...Hang on. We have three hearts." Splin frowned. "Of course she'd still retain a pulse. ...Ah, I better get Sharq!"
Splin ran back up the hill, entering the house through the doors, slamming them open. He ran over the his own bedside, stopping right in front of the dresser. Splin held his hand out to the lamp on the dresser, pulling on a switch, light flowing out of it immediately, much to the discomfort of some of the others.
"...Uhhh… Five more minutes, mom and dad…" Sharq whimpered, retreating deep into the sheets of his bed, rustling the blankets that covered him.
"Sharq, it's me! Get up, I need to show you someone!" Splin panted, pushing his brother out of bed. The other brother fell on the floor, moaning a bit.
Sharq sighed. "...Okay. Wait, someone?!" He gasped, fumbling his arm around the floor, trying to catch his hat wherever it was. "Yeesh, I'm supposed to be the one who jumps out of bed early for something amazing!"
The younger Inkling reached for the dresser, grabbing two pieces of headgear, the tactful brother's Designer Headphones, and the slightly clumsier brother's Takoroka Mesh. Splin tossed Sharq's cap to him, and arranged his headphones around his neck. Splin made a tossing movement with his arm, motioning outside.
"C'mon Sharq!" He exclaimed, jogging out the door.
Sharq grinned. "That's my line! You're really up and at 'em, aren't you?!"
They both ran outside, mercilessly slamming open the doors again, the other objects in the house now completely awake, not exactly happy. The alarm clock jumped up from under the countertop, beeping angrily, silenced only by Ann-Gel's just as agitated "Shh!".
"Gah, this is getting me nowhere! Open your damn eyes, ...whatever my name is! ...Hmph! Fine, be that way."
"Sh..q! ..t o… he..!" A concerned voice rang out.
"Eh?"
"Oh my Cod!" An energetic voice yelled out, just as concerned, just much more clearly. "Is she alright?!
"Who…?"
"She's fine, I took her pulse earlier. Quick, we need to transport her back to the house!" The concerned voice suggested, now perfectly understandable.
The other voice could be heard whining in hesitation. "...W-Wait, what if she's REALLY injured, I don't want to h-hurt her further!"
"Sharq, come on, we need to assist her!"
"...I know! Let's call an ambulance!" Sharq suggested.
"...And have them carry her over all these hills, somehow driving up the steep slopes, without having her getting beaten up? By your logic, that won't work either!"
"...Hmm."
The female's eyes opened slowly, still blinking, clearing out her eyes of any unwanted blurriness. She looked up, two young Inklings standing over her, she presumed to be the owners of the voices.
"...Well Splin, we have to do something!"
"...What do you propose we do?" Splin asked, looking at Sharq.
"I… I dunno!" Sharq cried out exasperated, the cap he wore tilted down, covering his eyes a bit. The older Inkling had his hands pressed down on his hat, whimpering slightly.
"Heh…"
The two Inklings gasped out in surprise, Splin's expression of shock quickly turning to a calm face, pacifying her thoughts somewhat. They both looked down at the unknown Inkling, eyes still wide.
"Uh… I see you're awake now." He said, hand to his chin.
"Hey there." Sharq smiled.
"There are better places to nap then on the ground, you know. Trust us, we'd know." He rubbed the back of his neck, rattling his headphones a bit.
The female Inkling smiled softly, an eyebrow raised.
"Are you injured, can you walk?" Splin asked. "Give me your hand."
She took the younger Inkling's hand, pulling herself up, nearly dragging the slightly smaller protagonist down as she did so.
"Yikes!" Splin yelped.
"Now's your chance to speak." She thought. "I-I'm fine." She stammered. "Wow, nice job." She scolded herself mentally soon after.
Well, this seems familiar, VERY familiar...
Meanwhile, in a certain awoken world.
A man garbed in light, black armor of sorts, covered by yet another cloak of sorts, pitch black with odd violet markings, similar to a large set of eyes. A kabuki mask was draped on his shoulder, moving with a tactical rhythm of sorts as he wrote with a quill pen on a large sheet of paper. He paused, looking around, black hair moving slightly. He sat inside of a large tent, various detailed maps and books strewn about the place, a sword sheath with blade included, clean axe, and a tome with a lightning bolt insignia inscribed on it sat by his feet, all slightly weathered.
"Déjà vu." Looking around much more puzzled, he shook his head, returning to writing.
"Father!" A voice called out. "Are you almost finished with the strategy for the next battle?"
"Yes, nearly finished Morgan!" He shouted back, putting the pen down. He stood up, and grabbed the tome with the lightning bolt insignia, pocketing it in his cloak.
"Robin, you better get out here, your daughter is getting feisty!" A heroic yet approachable voice called out.
"Yeah! She's getting a little too hyper… That's coming from me, so you better hurry up!" Another energetic, young-spirited voice chimed in.
"Alright Chrom, Lissa, don't fret. I'll be outside in a moment!" Robin yelled, leaving his tent behind, the flaps billowing in the wind.
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
The two brothers were escorting the still unknown woman up the hills to their home, carefully pushing away opposing rocks and sticks that could pose a possible trip threat to the weakened woman, who was walking slowly behind the two.
"I hate to ask you a semi-personal question… But would you happen to remember something, anything?" Splin asked, kicking away a twig.
The woman furrowed her brows, looking around, but gave up quickly, shaking her head down at the ground.
"No… Nothing. What is this place?" She asked, looking around.
A gentle breeze whistled around her, making her shiver, small particles of grass sweeping by.
"...This is our home, I guess," Sharq explained rather shortly. "I mean, it's understandable you would want to ask, this place is pretty much in the middle of nowhere… Unless you count Inkopolis over there!"
Sharq pointed over the hills, to the still sleeping city of the squids, Inkopolis. The female stared in wonder, looking over the blinking lights and brightened windows of those waking up early. She gasped, clutching her head, the brothers running over to her to assist her.
"What's wrong?!" Splin asked.
"...Agh! Ah! ...I remember something." She said.
"Really?" Sharq questioned. "What is it?"
"Sharq, patience." Splin reminded him.
"No, it's fine. ...I believe I... Remember a name." She said, piquing the interest of the brothers.
"A name? Do you happen to know who it belongs to?" Splin asked.
"...Maria. That's my… That's my name, I think? Maria." Maria revealed her name, although with a hint of doubt at the end. "...No, I'm sure of it. It's Maria."
"...Really? That's great." Splin smiled. "Uh, the fact that you remember. Uh, well, not that your name isn't great, but-"
Maria silenced Splin by rubbing his head, much to his confusion. She continued to rub his head, and out of the corner of Splin's eye he thought he could see Sharq snicker. Splin shot a glare at him and he innocently spun around and folded his hands behind his back as if nothing happened.
"Um…" He murmured confusedly, causing Maria to stop petting the small squid brother.
"Sorry! It just… Feels natural." She said, recoiling, taking her hand back quickly in embarrassment.
Splin blushed. "Er, it's fine. Just uh… Just uh… Warn me or something if you ever decide to do that again. "Now… I think we should get you inside, it's getting pretty chilly out here."
The motherly instinct Maria had quickly was shoved aside, her face looking away. "Alright, thank you.."
The trio of Inklings continued up the hill, shortly arriving at the humble shack Splin and Sharq called home. Maria tilted her head, causing her headset to somehow malfunction further despite its ruined state, shooting out sparks. She squeaked in surprise, taking her headset off and throwing it at the house, where a final shower of sparks shot out, then fizzled out completely. She breathed in calmly, turning to the brothers, who stared at her in fear.
"Sorry, another instinct I guess!" She giggled nervously, not at all reassuring the two brothers. She stopped, smiling instead, although with a few beads of sweat forming above her brow. "Ahem! So, this is your house? Seems cozy."
"Well uh… Yep, pretty much. We just chill here whenever we feel like it." Sharq said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Hmm!" She hummed, looking over the exterior of the house. "It's nice."
"Thank you. Uh, after you, as well." Splin said, pushing open the doors, which sounded with a hurtful creak. He patted the doors softly, and the creaking stopped, doors opening without protest. "It's not much, but feel free to make yourself at home. I think we have a spare bed if you'd like to rest."
"Well, thank you!" She looked around the small house, Splin and Sharq walking behind the kitchen counter.
The two brothers began dragging out another huge mattress from that inexplicably small drawer, passing over another mattress with a sticky note labeled, "Tai's", presumably the Octoling's preferred bedding arrangement. As they pulled at the large fluffy fabric structure, Maria sat down on a seat by the counter, looking around with a melancholy look on her face. A little sea snail hopped up to her, peering out of its shell wonderingly. She smiled a little, and pet Salty on its shell, gaining its affection. It hopped up and down happily, then bounded off to its bed, landing in it, shaking the name-tag on the bed.
"...Hmm." She sighed, Splin pausing the progress to look at her.
"What's the matter?" He asked.
"I know it probably sounds… Redundant, but I just feel a little… Sad." Maria huffed. "...Like I'm missing something… Or someone, important to me."
"Yeah." Splin looked away. "...I know that feeling."
"Do your parents mind at all if I rest here?"
The mattress hit the ground with a loud thud, the two brothers standing still and silent. Maria stopped, looking around. She looked at the two brothers, two solitary beds, the entire place empty save for the Inklings, as well as other, smaller, lifeforms sitting by, soaking in the awkwardness of the situation. She sat there, just as silent, piecing together the information.
"Oh. Oh no, I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, sighs floating out of the two brothers.
"...Nah, it's fine." Sharq said, wiping away what appeared to be a glimpse of a tear. "They wouldn't want us to worry about them too much anyways. Hang on, we'll… We'll get your bed ready in a few minutes."
Maria nodded solemnly, sitting tighter on the counter stool, her face looking down. The two of the younger Inklings grasped the side of the mattress, pulling hard on it, finally freeing it from its tiny confines of the counter. They laid the mattress on the ground, and went to retrieve blankets and comforters for the amnesiac Inkling. After a few minutes of more awkward silence and bed chores, the bed was completed, or at least as far as a well dressed mattress and pillow would get to a bed.
Maria smiled. "Uh, thank you so much!"
Both of them looked up, smiling slightly. "No problem, feel free to relax-"
Taking the offer immediately, the older Inkling flopping down onto the quickly, breathing peacefully, much to the brothers surprise. Splin blinked turning over to Sharq, who did the same, already lying on his bed.
Splin shook his head. "Why does everyone in this house always sleep as soon as they even touch a mattress?"
A harsh chime sounded out, getting Splin's attention. The alarm clock hopped up on the counter, signaling that it was still ten 'o clock. PM. At night. Ahem.
"Okay, I get it, we need sleep to function! Cod!" Splin cried out.
Changing to squid, he scampered to his bed, leaping underneath the sheets. He took one last glance at the amnesiac Inkling woman, a face of worry put to rest, when sleep deprivation kicked in and knocked Splin out cold. He drifted off to dreamland; his brother followed his lead in the bed next to him and the both of them fell asleep, the last image of consciousness being Maria, who slept on the floor contently.
Now, normally when Splin woke up, it was either natural, forced via device, cough alarm clock cough, or gradually woken up by the sounds of the day: Birds and sizzles.
...Sizzles?
He sniffed the air. A warm inviting scent permeated his nostrils. Never again would he have expected to be waken up by the sweet smell of pancakes, that was his job for Sharq. Nevertheless, he smelled them, his eyes slowly opening up to find the source of the scent.
"Good morning!" Maria called out, a skillet in her hand. "Hope you don't mind, but I've taken the liberty of cooking us breakfast!"
"Wait… Breakfast, with searingly hot frying pans...! NO!" Splin cried out, jumping to Maria, who slammed her hand on the counter menacingly. "Uh, I didn't mean-"
"Now, Rem." Maria smiled, causing Splin to back up in fear.
"...Wait, Rem, what?" Splin thought, but was cut short by Maria pointing the skillet at him threateningly. Well, threatening for a skillet, at the very least.
"That wasn't very nice of you." She grinned, her eyes closed as well. The aura she gave off was nothing less than terrifying, however.
"...Now…" She began, but was cut off by another menacing voice.
"Stop. Right. There."
Maria turned around, where Sharq was patting the Carbon Roller with one hand, an ominous grin to rival hers smack dab on his face.
"Now, we took you in, gave you a place to sleep, and yet you still feel like you need to beat up my brother. I'm just warning you, if you keep going the way you are right now…" Sharq's left eye glinted and a bead of sweat dripped down his face. "Y-You're not going to like what happens next!"
"Ix, sweetie, calm down-" Maria frowned and stepped forward. Despite his weapon in his hands, Sharq backed away nervously. Maria just smiled a sickly sweet grin at him and said, "Put the roller down, and we can..." She then gaspe and dropped down, pan of pancakes falling down besides her. Splin caught her by the elbows, Sharq seeming satisfied.
"Phew, that would've gotten messy!" Sharq said and fell back on the floor.
Maria coughed, opening one eye. "...What happened? Splin?"
"What do you mean, what happened?! You threatened me with a pan, called me 'Rem', you called Sharq 'Ix', what's happening to you?!"
She stared at the floor sadly. "...I don't know. This just feels… Very familiar. And yet..."
Splin sighed, propping Maria up on her feet. "Sorry, sorry, I forgot. Thanks for making us breakfast, but try to alert us whenever you begin remembering something, I don't want to be on the receiving end of a burning pan next time."
"It's… Fine. Uh, dig in, of course." She grinned, holding up the pan, only to realize that the pan had flipped over on the pancakes, splattered on the floor. "...Whoops."
"I'll cook up some more, don't worry. You're our guest, after all. Come on, take a seat." Splin gestured to the counters, where Sharq was sitting, although glaring at the previously dangerous female.
Maria slowly walked over, and took a seat next to Sharq, who's eyes were squinted.
"What?" Maria asked, slightly offended.
"I'm just trying to tell if you're planning on hurting Splin again." Sharq stared harder.
"No no, not at all! Look, it was an accident, I'm… I'm sorry, Sharq. Never meant any harm to you or Splin, I promise." Maria said, standing up straight. "I'm just...confused."
Sharq examined her for a while, then smiled. "You're lucky I forgive people easily."
Maria smiled, then a sharp pain erupted in her legs, completely eradicating her smile. "Gah!" She quickly dropped herself down on a seat, inspecting her legs, which seemed perfectly fine. She gave them a couple quick test taps on her legs, frowning. They felt normal to her, nothing out of the ordinary.
"Hmm." She ignored it for the most part, tilting her head up at the counter, where a large tower of pancakes was already stacked. "Seems like a little much."
"We normally get another person here." Sharq explained.
Splin's tied up tentacles twitched upwards once he realized exactly whom he meant. It was too late for him to do anything about it however, as a crashing noise confirmed his fear.
"'Sup nerds. Aww, you already made breakfast for us Splin? That's so sweet."
"...Oh no." Splin turned around rigidly, confirming that Tai had indeed jumped into the house as par for the course.
"...You okay Splin? You look kinda uneasy." Tai tilted her head, dropping her Octoling Goggles by accident. Her eyes shrank once she realized there was another Inkling in the house.
The trio of story regulars froze with shrunken pupils, sweating bullets at the woman Inkling. She frowned for a moment.
"...Wait a second. Would you happen to be…" Maria laid her right hand on the counter. "An Octoling? ...Hmm."
"Uhhhhhh…" Tai stood there dumbfounded, reaching for her Octoshot holstered by her side.
"Tai, don't!" Sharq cried out. Tai took her hand away, putting them behind their back innocently. "She doesn't mean any harm… I hope. She just lost her memory, me and Splin wanted to help her out!"
Tai scoffed. "You two are WAY too trusting. She clearly knows I'm an Octoling, and judging by her clothing…" She gestured to the agent uniform she wore. "I'm pretty sure she could be lying."
Maria huffed, crossing her arms. "Splin, Sharq, you know this girl?"
The brothers turned to each other. They nodded simultaneously, both speaking at the same time.
"She's friendly."
"She's our friend!"
"Could've fooled me." Maria muttered.
"Maria, look I know it may seem bad, but trust us, Tai wouldn't harm a fly!" Sharq exclaimed.
Tai shrugged. "Not exactly."
"Uh, look we'll just leave you two here to talk." Splin stammered, grabbing a plateful of pancakes and dashing out the door.
Sharq nodded. "Sounds like a plan." He did the same, refilling his plate, then jumping out the window, breaking through the glass pane.
The two females ignored the odd departure of the two, both staring each other down, also ignoring the fact that Maria was taller than Tai.
"I don't know why… But all I feel towards you is anger." Maria stared down at Tai intensely.
"Likewise. Dunno your deal, but if anything those two taught me, people can be different. You on the other hand… Sigh. Okay, pretty sure we got off on the wrong tentacle. Look, you seem okay-" Maria, although she didn't entirely understand why, threw a punch, which Tai dodged rather effortlessly. "I tried."
Splin and Sharq sat outside, Sharq nibbling on a cake, Splin with his eyes still wide and hands on his cheeks, sitting down worriedly.
"Was it really a good idea to leave those two in there to talk it out? Maria seems a bit… Unstable in her current, reminiscing condition, and Tai… Might splat her if something goes horribly wrong."
True to Splin's word, a plate flew out the window, luckily the already shattered one to prevent further damage payments.
"Okay, now it's time to get involved." Splin stated, dashing inside the house.
Sharq gulped, pressing down on his hat. "If I die, at least I can die knowing I ate a bunch of pancakes."
The two crashed through the doors, adopting a makeshift fighting stance, but halted when they noticed the two sitting still, their faces still in thought. Maria was lying down on her temporary cot, face aimed at the ceiling. Tai inexplicably had a notepad and a pencil in her hands separately, nodding at each word Maria had to say.
"I think the reason I got angry at you… Maybe some Octarians from my past hurt me in some way."
"Mmm hmm." Tai listened, writing something down. "Seems to me like your memories are kinda messing with your head, making you biased towards me. Eh, don't worry, I'm sure at least half of the other Inklings out there would try to punch me in the face too."
Maria sighed, nodding. The two male Inklings in the house stared, impressed. Tai turned to the two, giving them a thumbs up, and threw away the pencil and notepad elsewhere.
"Rrgh, I just want my memories back, names keep bouncing around in my head. Callie, Marie, Rem, Ix… Jack." Maria stated.
"...Well, for what it's worth, I'd like to apologize for your loss… Of memories." Splin corrected himself. "But hey, Sharq, Tai and I will do whatever we can to help you out."
"Really? Even after I tried to fry you?" Maria asked, rising from her resting spot.
"Of course, we wouldn't leave you hanging! We're going to keep trying to get your memories back, even if Splin has to get slammed by a frying pan!" Sharq announced proudly.
"Yes- Wait a minute, what does that have to do with anything?!" Splin shouted.
"Physical reenactment is a good way to remember memories for amnesiacs, I've heard." Tai explained. "Also it'd be pretty fun to watch you get hit with a frying pan."
Oh boy, wouldn't that be a riot.
"Wh- Gee, thanks voice!" Splin cried out.
The others chuckled at the other Inklings embarrassment.
"Thank you all. ...Huh." Maria looked around, inspecting the entire house.
"What's wrong now?" Sharq tilted his head.
"I get the feeling that we're being watched…" She said.
"You're not wrong!" Ann-Gel's voice said, the tiny statuette popping up by her. Tele-Cube, the alarm clock, and Salty all arrived as well, taking her by surprise.
"Um. Care to explain?" She gave a hopelessly confused smile.
"Oh boy… This is gonna be a long morning." Splin sighed.
"Like it hasn't been already?" Sharq smirked.
The three younger cephalopods began explaining to their new, adult acquaintance about the sentient objects, a lengthy day still ahead of them.
Meanwhile, again, for the third time, in a different but previously mentioned universe, an Inkling man was standing over the corpse of a sea lion, carrying a sword in one lone hand that was stained with the blood of his enemies. Rad.
"...Doing this for you." He whispered to no one in particular, then ran off, presumably to do more cool stuff that I can't detail in this story.
AN: Seriously You Are Not Going To Understand This Unless You Read Other Author's Stories Author's Note Wow This Is Really Long I Apologize: ...I think that I detailed it pretty well in the underlined text above actually, but sorry. I was asked if this could be a little thing added, and being the turtle I am, I couldn't help but oblige, apologies to anyone who gets confused reading this chapter. Anyone else who is thinking of asking for a request in particular, I'll try my best, but I can't make any promises, sorry. Anyways, time to respond to reviews! Thanks to Dread Angel, Anon360, Mr. Loner, and OctoInkling75 for reviewing! Dread, let's hope that the slight box paranoia Callie has doesn't happen often in your universe! Anon360, thanks for the Internet pun, I guess! Mr. Loner, yep, you're gonna see a lot of TF2 references, so you might wanna get your vaccines for those, it's reference season all seasons here. Finally, OctoInkling75, sorry I couldn't implement your idea in this chapter as I just received it when writing this, but as soon as I start working on the other chapter, I'll see what I can do, nice catch on the mistake I made while writing the Sharq chapter by the way. Don't worry about the multiple reviews this one time, either, as long as you don't spam reviews its okay. Well, anyways, that's all for today ladies and gentlemen, thank you for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to finally complete the Pokemon League in Alpha Sapphire, sayonara for now!