AN: It was the weekend….need I say more. But sorry anyway. Chapter for my other story coming later today

When Jane and Dean found out they were pregnant, the news had come as somewhat of a shock. It rattled Dean the most, seeing as to that he had a family of people that could be counted on one hand, not to mention that he was not even married to Jane. During the course of Jane's pregnancy he became comforted by the fact that his girlfriend had a strong support system and after proposing, Jane agreed to work on the wedding after the baby was born.

When Jane had told Dean that Maura was to be the God-Mother of their child, the man had asked not further questions. In fact, he was quite fond of the blonde and knew their child would have herself a lovely God-Mother. When their little Alanna was starting to say her first words, they realized the poor kid was at a loss as to what to call Maura. She had Mama, Dada, and Nana right on point. But realizing the kid spent almost as much time with Maura as she did with her parents they settled on Mimi. Alanna was quick to catch on, and the name developed. When their rascal Johnny started talking as well, the name Mimi thrived even more.

Maura's house changed over the years. First she lost her two spare bedrooms that she changed into the children's 'themed' bedrooms. Then she lost her yoga room, that became their play-room. None of them seemed to look at it closely, but the couple and Maura were co-parenting. They even had a schedule to prove it, but funny enough they never thought twice about it. The thing is, people notice ''change behaviour''. If something is a certain way from the beginning, it is never questioned- that's all its ever known to be. So right from the get go of Jane's children's lives, Maura had been a core part, so there was nothing to fuss over.

Dean worked morning to evening, Monday to Friday – so did Jane. Angela worked the same, except her days changed weekly (four at a time). Frankie worked pretty much all the time and Tommy was the epitome of unreliable. So because Jane and Dean's child came unexpectedly, there wasn't much that could be done in the ways of work schedule, especially for Dean. And that's where Maura came in. Her schedule was as flexible as rubber. When the parents were working, Maura was at her place with Alanna. The same went for Johnny after he was added to the mix. The blonde took them to and from school regularly, and they spent nights upon nights in Beacon Hill.

Maura virtually stopped dating, not for lack of trying though. Men came to her house and accused her of lying that she did not have children – especially after seeing the glaring evidence in her house. Then many times she had to shoo her dates out after the children cried to go and spend the night over by her. And the obvious habits like how all she talked about where the children – or worse, Jane. So her life went back to sporadic sexcapades designed to satiate the physical needs. Dean mentioned it a few times, even tried hooking her up with a few of his buddies, but she declined. When he broached the subject to his wife, she shut him off like a napkin set alight by a candle accidentally. It hurt Jane, she wasn't sure if Maura was still completely hung up on her, or was just failing to find someone worth her time - and she couldn't ask.

The day Maura came to the hospital to see Jane; the brunette told her she loved her. Jane told her she would always love her no matter what. She even went so far as too ask if Maura would have her. But Maura declined. She couldn't do that to the little innocent soul in her hands. So Maura gave Jane her blessing to marry Dean, and they swore to never mention their romantic love ever again. They didn't. And it hurt.

Jane's kids loved Maura the same way they loved their own parents. Occasionally they even slipped up and called her Mama instead of Mimi. That was the best and worst thing to happen to Maura whenever it did. Her heart melted at the thought that she was good enough to be seen as a mother figure. It swelled her to know she could match up to Jane. Her heart pounded at learning that she had something to give these little people. Then it shattered when she realized she wasn't actually their mother, and that she had a chance that she threw away.

The door to Angela's house opened and two energetic children ran in screaming ''Nana Nana''. That was short lived however when they spotted Maura sitting on Angela's couch. They quickly re-routed yelling, ''Mimi Mimi''. It wasn't even three seconds before they jumped onto Maura's lap planting kisses all over her face like little puppies. Maura loved that the most.

''Hello my darlings'', she greeted them with a voice laden with grief.

Angela and Jane stood at a distance and watched the three. It wasn't the first time. The two Rizzoli's always paid attention to Maura's interactions with the children – not simultaneously though. Angela was in soft tears already, she couldn't fathom a scenario where those kids would have to be separated from their Mimi, it was unimaginable. ''What's going on Ma?'', Jane broke her gaze from the three on the couch and turned to her mother. Immediately she knew it had something to do with the blonde. And she had no patience for waiting to pull it out of her mother; she went straight to the horse's mouth.

Jane would never say it, or show it, but she lived in constant fear that Maura would one day leave. Strange enough, her only hope was her children. She somehow felt that with the bond they shared, Maura would never leave them. But it didn't stop her mind from wondering time to time. And right that moment it was wondering alright. She was filled with dread and yet Maura hadn't even looked at her. Jane didn't need to be told. It wasn't rocked science. She felt it, it was palpable from the second she walked through the door. And now she was looking at her children wiping tears from her best friends face and she was crying already.

It took everything within her to walk up to the trio. ''Hey muffins. Do you want to go to the park with Nana for a little bit''

''No'' they said immediately. Alanna turned to look at her mother as if she had gone insane. ''Mimi is sad, we can't go to the park''. It was said so strongly and didn't leave room for argument. The three adults where left dumbfounded, not knowing how to coax the youngsters into leaving their 'mothers' to some privacy for just a while.

''Do you remember some of the times when you are sad?'', two little heads bobbed up and down when Maura spoke, ''and you just want Mama, because no one else can make you feel better''

''Yes'', they sang back.

''Because Mama knows exactly what to say to make everything alright''. They nodded in understanding. They always listened intently when Maura spoke to them. ''Right now Mimi is a little sad, and Mama is the only one who knows what to say to make me feel better. So if you go to the park for a short while, when you come back I will be fine''

They considered it for a short while, and seemingly came to the conclusion that it was acceptable. So they left sloppy kisses all over Maura's face again and headed to their Nana. They said their good-bye to their mother and were out in a few minutes.

''I will keep them for as long as you two need. Just call me when you need us back'', Angela whispered.

''Thanks Ma. I'll call you''. And they were left alone.

''You can't leave Maur'', Jane sat beside the blonde and held her gaze intently, scared that if she looked away maybe Maura would disappear.

''Why?''

''I wouldn't know how to live without you'', the brunette told herself the moment they were left in privacy that she was going to be as open and truthful with Maura like never before.

''You don't know that for sure''

''I don't want to ever know''. It was like a tennis match with sentences between the two.

''Do I get a say in this?''

''If I had it my way, no. You wouldn't have a say in this''

Maura looked at her in disbelief. She certainly hadn't been anticipating that one. ''That sounds awfully selfish Jane''

''It is. And I know it Maura. But I refuse to sit here today and lie to you. I'm being selfish, but I don't know how else to be when it comes to you''

''You can let me be''

''I can't'', Jane said certainly.

''We've been holding onto this for too long Jane. Nothing is ever going to come out of it. It's time to fully let it go''

''The last time I left things in your hands, you fucked up'' Maura's eyes went wide. ''If I had been selfish then, if I had refused to let you go, I would have been the happiest woman alive. But ten years Maura! I tried not to be selfish, I gave you a choice all those years ago, but you didn't come to me until it was too late. And even then, you weren't entirely sure''

''Those are all mistakes I have acknowledged and there is nothing I can do about them now''

''Don't you think you need to make up for your mistakes?'', Jane questioned.

''I have been. For a decade. I think things have reached an equilibrium and its safe for me to move on now''

''What can I do to make you change your mind?''

''Nothing Jane'', Maura shook her head, trying desperately to not weep. She just wanted to have an intelligent conversation and then leave.

''There must be something, anything''

''There isn't. I have made up my mind to leave, and I have to. I am starting 'doctors without boarders' in Uganda. I will come back to visit''

''No'', Jane said vehemently. ''I will do whatever it takes to make you stay'', she begged.

''Like I said, there isn't anything that can be done''

''What about the kids?'', Jane was desperate now.

''They will be fine, they have both their parents'', Jane saw her choke up and knew that was Maura's weakest point – the kids.

''You are their Mimi, what will I say to them?''

''Tell them I left, and I will come visit'', it didn't sound nearly as convincing as Maura had hoped it would.

''I can see that there are somethings you clearly haven't understood Maura. And now is the best time to address them''

''I don't understand what you mean Jane''

''I think the confusion is coming from your upbringing''. Maura suddenly felt like she was being insulted, but she didn't know why.

''Jane-''

''No. Let me explain. You see the relationship you have with Alanna and Johnny, that's not a normal child-God-Mother relationship. So far from it infact''

''I don't understand'', Maura looked confused.

''And its not your fault. In a normal world, my children should not 'half live' at your house. You do realize that's what happens right?''

''I suppose'', Maura listened further.

''Your role in their life isn't to influence which schools they go to. It's not to take them to the doctors, or trim their hair when YOU think it's too long. It's not your responsibility to take stock of what they eat on a daily basis and teach them French'', Maura looked embarrassed and wished she could shrink for all the over stepping she had done. ''that's the role of their parents, or grandparents occasionally''

''I'm sorry'', Maura said sincerely. It truly hadn't seemed like that much when she was doing it. Now when being listed though, it was another story altogether.

''Don't be. You had a responsibility to do that. I trust you with their lives. And in case it isn't clear enough, YOU ARE THEIR MOTHER TOO'', Jane enunciated.

Maura just stared at her as the words sank in and began to make sense.

''You are their mother too. I let you be, they let you be. It was the only way Maura''

''The only way what?''

''It's the only way I could show you that I was here and waiting for you when you were ready'', she paused a little then continued, ''I didn't want to wait for you to make up your mind then start teaching the kids to love you as their mother from scratch. Do you understand?'', Jane watched her closely.

Maura was silent. She didn't even move.

''I told you I would never stop loving you, and I haven't. My life for the past ten years has gone against everything I believe in. It's been filled with deceit and unmentionable lies. It's an awful way to live, but every day when I see you, I know it's worth it. My intention isn't to hurt my husband or my children. But if you can see all I have done, you will know that you my love, come before anyone and anything else. It's all for you. I knew you wouldn't have me. But I also knew you wouldn't refuse my children, so I gave them to you instead. I'm not blind or stupid or naïve Maura. I know you were hurting all these years, I was too. There was nothing I could do to take that pain away, you wouldn't have me Maur. Every time I saw you sad, I brought the children to you immediately. That's the only way I knew how to make you feel better, and it worked right?''

''Yes'', Maura answered unconsciously, still legging behind on the words ''my love''

''But I guess ten years is the limit. Its not enough anymore''

''No'', Maura finally was fully there.

''Am I right in saying you are ready now? Will you have me now?'', Jane held her breath for an answer.

AN: Ok, i am going to stop promising the end of this story because it seems to want to go on. So yes, another chapter is coming. Would love to know what you think. Do you want me to fill in some gaps from the 10yrs, or just concentrate on the future?