Splatoon: The Bate Bros.
Super Sea Surplus
Splin, Sharq, and Maria were lying about, enjoying their down time at the Bate Brother household. Maria went on watching the television screen, watching alternate dimensions of the Inkling world, looking over her children, reacting as if she were there herself, smiling when things for the heroes of that universe went right, frowning when her husband nearly skewered an Inkling man by accident by unsheathing his sword imprecisely.
Splin and Sharq on the other hand were relaxing in their beds, Sharq holding up the premium Splatendo 3DS handheld console up at the ceiling, looking up at the double screens from the comfort of his bed. Splin tapped away on his laptop's keyboard, seemingly intrigued with whatever was displayed on the device. Both retained their ink tanks and weapons, weapons lying on their bed pillows, the both seemingly too absorbed in their digital devices to detach their ink tanks.
"Interesting… Says here that our ancestors from eons ago never swam in ink." Splin enthused aloud, eyes scanning the text. "Apparently, we used to swim in water!"
"Whoa, really?" Sharq asked, though his eyes were still focused on the game he was playing.
Splin nodded towards his brother. "Yeah. That just brings up the question, how did we go from creatures capable of hydrodynamic propulsion and survival to Inklings who can't even place their hand in unfiltered water before it begins deteriorating?"
"I dunno, ask some nerdy guys in a library or something." Sharq told him, still staring up at his video game.
Splin sighed. "Uh huh, I guess I'll do that." The headphone donning brother shut down his laptop, taking the top screen and folding it down, sliding the closed portable computer under his bed.
Maria, now fully engrossed in the adventures onscreen, leaned closer to the screen of the television, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.
The television screen fizzled, switching to a newscast, a sentient male bass in a clean suit sitting behind a desk. "We interrupt this program to bring you a news flash!"
"Rrgh!"
Maria threw a pillow just over the television in frustration. The two brothers noticed the change in broadcasts, Sharq closing his 3DS and stowing it away under his bed just like his brother's laptop, and walked over to Maria's makeshift bed, sitting down next to her mattress.
"We regret to inform the public that the Inkopolis Plaza has been temporarily shut down for maintenance, details about the repairs go as follows, ahem…" The newscaster onscreen reached under his desk, pulling out a short stack of papers, clearing his throat, reading aloud. "'Sea Snails.'"
Everyone watching in the room became entirely silent, watching with blank faces. Even the newscaster looked confused, squinting his eyes as if to make sure he hadn't misread. He put the stack of papers to the side, revealing that the other sheets underneath the first one was completely blank, only the words "Sea," and "Snails" on the sheet on top.
"...Seriously? That's it?" The newscaster said with a disbelieving fish face, the program shutting off.
"...Sea snails." Splin reiterated. "I knew it was a slow news day, but this takes the cake."
Sharq managed an honest snort at Splin's pun.
"Uh… Anyone else wanna check out the sea snails…?" Splin asked.
Sharq raised his hand slowly, everyone/thing in the room remaining indifferent. Maria shook her head politely, reaching for the remote. Ann-Gel blinked. The alarm clock's numbers switched to, "SNOOZE", and the Tele-Cube's colors faded. One last creature was excited compared to the rest, Salty shaking in its shell happily.
"Salty and I are ready to go!" Sharq exclaimed proudly, picking up the shaking crustacean, displaying him just as proudly.
"Alright, then we're off. See you everyone!" Splin waved, dashing out the doors of the house, Sharq toting Salty, following closely behind.
"Goodbye!" Maria called out, going back to watching the television.
Splin and Sharq switched to squids as they left the house, landing on the ground as their squishy cephalopod counterparts. Sharq clasped Salty between his tentacles tightly. The both of them flattened themselves, bouncing back up into the sky, falling from the clouds towards Inkopolis, Salty precariously held between Sharq's tentacles.
Upon breaching the clouds above Inkopolis, the two blinked as to clear out the ozone in their eyes. They were greeted with a flood of Super Sea Snails crowding the plaza.
"HUH?!"
"WHOA!"
The two crashed into the pile of shells, sea snails that felt the impact were sent bouncing off one another.
Every inch of ground in or surrounding Inkopolis Plaza was covered in sea snails, the level of snail almost completely covering the Booyah Base, frightened shopkeepers in their stores backing away from the glass in fear that the snails might break through. The pathway serving as the second floor had multiple Inklings taking shelter on top, even the Squid Sisters themselves sitting by, eyes wide from shock of all the snails.
"Eep!" Callie squeaked, slapping away a snail, who didn't seem to mind, the shell blocking the attack.
"T-This is awful, how are we going to get inside the studio? How are others going to play in Turf Wars?!" Marie asked aloud.
"...The slow news days here are weird." Splin mumbled, climbing out of the mass of sea snails, having switched to humanoid form.
Sharq climbed up, Salty luckily still clenched between his tentacles, now changed to hands. "Dang! How are we going to clean this up?!"
Splin turned to Sharq. "Maybe call an actual clean-up crew meant for these types of problems, I dunno?!"
"Psst! Oy, you two."
The two Inkling brothers snapped their heads in the direction of a certain street urchin. Spkye remained in his alleyway, or at least above the snail infested alleyway, somehow remaining still on his carpet, tapping his finger on top of a sea snail. The two brothers shifted through the expanse of snail, eventually making it over to Spyke.
Spyke reached into the sea of snails, picking one up and lying it by his carpet, patting it. "You've seen the infestation, 'aven't you?"
Splin and Sharq looked down at their feet, completely submerged in snails. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure we have."
Spyke nodded. "These things, tasty as they are-"
"Tasty?" Splin questioned, eyebrow raised.
Spyke blinked. "...are ruining my business, no client of mine wants to take a swim through hard shells to meet with me."
"Wouldn't this be good for you?" Sharq asked. "You get all the free snails you could ever want!"
Spyke sighed, closing his eyes, petting the snails. "And sort through all the garbage ones? Don't know if you understand, mate, but you see, only the quality snails are ripe for the pickin'. Splatfest prizes are some of the best, I can't go about eating- Taking garbage snails, you see what I'm saying?"
Though they were slightly bewildered, the brothers nodded anyways.
Spyke grinned. "Great, so you're with me when I say, we need to clean out the garbage, then?"
"Why can't we wait patiently for the proper authorities?" Splin asked, pushing a snail to the side.
Spyke sat completely silent for a moment, quickly bursting into laughter for a minute.
"No." Spyke stopped laughing. "Feds and agents are bloody useless in this situation, can't do anything but beat up octopi."
"Wait, you know about the Octarians?" Splin asked, tilting his head.
Spyke sighed. "Sitting nearby the two-way entrance to Octo Valley gives you a pretty good idea, mate."
"Right, sorry."
"Anyways, the plan I have in mind is this:" Spyke muttered, reaching into the snails, digging through the layers, until he came out with what appeared to be a Slosher.
The Slosher in question was white and more industrialized compared to the Slosher buckets, and the tub of the bucket were filled with holes and what appeared to be a small fan built into the bottom.
"Whoa, isn't that the new Sloshing Machine weapon that comes out later?" Splin asked, inspecting the machine.
"Aye. Though, I've modified it a little for problems like this…" Spyke told them, aiming the Sloshing Machine. "Might wanna step aside, love."
The two Inklings ducked behind Spyke. With a flick of a switch, Spyke activated the machine, aiming it towards the ground, or the Super Sea Snails on the ground to be precise. The Sloshing Machine whirred, the tub inside spinning rapidly, when a stream of suction spun out of the machine, picking up a few snails, depositing them on his carpet.
"Cool!" Sharq said, reaching for the machine.
Spyke smirked. "The problem is, it has no storage area. All I can do is suck the snails up, and let them sit there," Spyke pointed to his carpet, which the snails rolled off of. "And try to keep 'em from leaving. Not very efficient. That's where you two come in."
"Hmm…" Splin reached at his back, feeling the familiar girth of an ink tank on his shoulders. "Ah! We forgot to unhook the ink tanks when we were home."
Splin reached at his shoulders, taking invisible straps off, popping the ink tank back into the visible existence of the outside, non-Turf War world. Taking off the ink tank, he unscrewed the top, and tilted the tank over, spilling the ink onto a bunch of sea snails, who still didn't mind. He walked over to the sea urchin, giving him the empty ink tank. Spyke grinned, picking up a screwdriver on his carpet, and went to work on the Sloshing Machine, screwing in the ink tank to the back.
"Oh, I get it! We're going to capture all the snails, right?" Sharq asked.
Splin grinned. "Precisely Sharq, gotta catch 'em all."
The two of them looked over at Spyke, who had finished tinkering with the Sloshing Machine. He tossed the weapon to Splin, who caught it easily.
"Waiting on you two. Cheers." Spyke waved them off.
Splin and Sharq smiled, trudging through the sea of snails once more, out into the middle of the plaza. Once there, Splin flicked the switch Spyke had flipped, a gust of wind once again suctioning in snails.
"Wait, how will the snails fit in one ink tank?" Splin wondered.
A bunch of snails sucked up into the machine seemingly shrunk to accommodate for the small room the ink tank had.
"Convenient." Splin thought.
The two, holding on to the machine, pivoted slowly, making sure to capture as many snails as possible. Eventually, the levels of snail were decreased, the amount of snails being a few strewn about in the plaza. Splin wiped his forehead clean of sweat, looking back at his now full ink tank, snails crowded in the tank. Sharq
"Alright, well, that's about as much as we can do." Splin said.
A cheering crowd rushed down the second floor of the base, seemingly towards the brothers. Sharq was prepared for the two being commended for their actions…
But was crestfallen once the crowd rushed past them, and over them.
"Ow." They managed to say, squished into the floor.
"Nice work guys!" Callie beamed, walking down from the second floor to their studio.
"Thanks again!" Marie added, following her cousin.
"That wasn't what I had expected…" Sharq murmured disappointed, picking himself up.
Splin sighed. "At least we cleaned the plaza of most of the Super Sea Snails."
Spyke, his carpet now situated back comfortably on the flat ground, snuck over to the two, screwdriver in hand, quickly dismantling the ink tank from the machine, leaving the two with an ink tank full of snails, walking off with the Sloshing Machine.
"Good work, you two. Thanks to you, I can finally go back to working. Here's a little something for your troubles." Spyke said, dropping a small burlap sack by their feet, walking away to his carpet in the alleyway.
Both of the brothers stared at the sack, unsure if they really wanted to open it. Regardless, Sharq untied it carefully, making sure it wasn't the head of a dead Inkling police agent, eyes sparkling in wonder at uncovering their prize.
A batch of gear abilities were in the sack, icons ranging from ink tanks to silent squids nearly making the sack burst at the seams.
"Dude!" Sharq said, looking down at the sack. "We're practically set with perks for life!"
Splin smiled, happy that their luck was changing on the bright side for a change, when a horrid realization came to him.
"Sharq, where's Salty?!" Splin asked panicked.
The two turned to the ink tank full of sea snails, the snails' tiny eyes blinking back at them.
"Aw, it's gonna take hours for us to search through that looking for Salty!" Sharq groaned.
A rustling noise behind them attracted the brothers attention, where Salty was sitting there quietly, shaking in its shell.
"Salty!" Sharq exclaimed, hugging the snail.
"Huh." Splin smiled. "Everything went much better than expected. Well, that settles that. Although, the question is;" Splin turned back to the ink tank full of Super Sea Snails. "What are we going to do with all these snails?"
Sharq and Salty looked up at the sky, deep in thought. "Well…"
At the Octarian Base, DJ Octavio was overseeing a group of Octoling scientists busily constructing something in a hangar bay, a large machine of sorts covered by a white sheet, Octolings in white lab coats and glasses rushing from station to station, all looking rather flustered. The hangar was large, a large kettle opening to match sat directly above them, glimpses of sunlight shining through. The DJ, as always, sat in his large turntable robot, sitting patiently by.
An Octotrooper slid up to DJ Octavio on a hovercraft. "Sir! Development on the defense mechanism has halted, our development team lacks the materials required to build the exoskeleton!"
DJ Octavio rubbed his slimy head, shifting his samurai headgear slightly. "What materials would we need to get this… 'thing' an exoskeleton, then?"
"Well, we'd need anything hard enough to provide as a good support. Anything at all works, the metal required for serving as the main armor is fine, what we need is something sturdy enough to provide as a second wall…"
"Hey Tai, do you know anyone who needs sea snails?" Sharq asked, Splin following behind with the ink tank of sea snails in his hands.
The development team of Octolings froze, staring at the Inklings. All of them took out Octoshots and aimed them at the two, who backed up in fear of being shot. DJ Octavio raised a tentacle peacefully, the Octolings reluctantly laying their weapons down.
"Hold your fire! These slimy hipsters are allies." Octavio grunted, the Octolings nodding in response, going back to their work. DJ Octavio turned to the Inkling brothers. "What have you come here for, Inklings? T-41 is off on a scouting mission right now."
"Actually, we just need someone to take all of these snails off our hands- Gah!" Splin slipped over oil spilled on the floor, taking care to shield the ink tank with his own body. "Agh…"
DJ Octavio picked the Inkling up with the robot's large hand, and picked up the ink tank with his other, eyeing it closely, the snails inside sitting inside, hardly moving except for the occasional shake.
"...Why would you give us this?" Octavio asked, clearly interested in the snail shells.
"Uh, sorry! Didn't mean to offend you, we're just looking for anyone willing-"
"This is perfect!" DJ Octavio laughed heartily. "Thanks again, Inkling allies! We have the materials we need! Play the mixtapes, we've got it down!"
The Octolings cheered, much to the confusion of Splin and Sharq. DJ Octavio unscrewed the cap of the ink tank very carefully, hardly making a dent almost miraculously considering the strength of the robot, and began to spill the snails onto the floor.
"NO WAIT-"
It was too late, as the sea snails began crowding the floor, spilling across the place. This only seemed to excite the octopi more, which in turn confused the brothers more.
"...Pardon me for asking," Splin asked, adjusting his headphones uncomfortably, DJ Octavio setting him down on the floor, now covered with snails. "But why are you so excited about sea snails?"
The cheering settled down slightly, Octavio's eyes darting to the hidden machine then back to Splin, Splin following his eye movements.
"...Secret project we're working on. Thanks again Inklings!" DJ Octavio told them hastily, picking the two up and sending them up through a kettle. "Phew, that was a close one." DJ Octavio wiped a bead of sweat away using his robot hands.
An Octoling adjusted her glasses, looking over at their leader. "Octavio, why'd you send them away? If they're our allies-"
"We can't let anyone else know about this defense mechanism, S-4FFR-1. Inklings might get the wrong idea, then what? We can't risk a second Great Turf War, but we also can't risk a chance of an Inkling invasion."
DJ Octavio stared at the machine hidden underneath the tarp, sighing.
"Let's hope that this, 'Project SK' doesn't go wrong." Octavio thought.
"Yo Octavio! We got the materials you wanted so much." Tai's voice called. "Took us a couple hours, and I had to go through a LOT of trouble stealing this from an Inkling agent."
Octavio stared over at the place Tai's voice came from, then down at the snails, breathing in sharply.
"...I'll also hope Tai doesn't kill anyone when I tell her." Octavio thought, floating away, not at all happy for what was about to come.
AN: Two chapters posted in the timespan of two days, what is this, a schedule?! No, just me being weird. Uh… Sorry, don't have much to say here, let's talk reviews!
Thanks Ultrapyre and Dread Angel for reviewing! Yeah Ultrapyre, I suppose she's a mainstay now, though I might hang onto your idea for the powers in Splat X not exactly going as planned, *hint hint*. Dread Angel, thanks for the JonTron, funny, when you sent that, I was listening to a JonTron song just then, nice work with coincidentally reviewing what was on my mind! Anyways, thanks you guys for reviewing again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I'm hyped for Xenoblade Chronicles X, see you next time!