Splat X: The Bate Bros.
"That's the Metal Gear?!"
Moments after Sharq had left the safety of Oahu, as he left the restaurant causally, a gigantic robot was laying siege to Inkopolis, smashing buildings and setting some alight, flames dancing from the rooftops of skyscrapers, buildings crumbling into dusty rubble, spreading across the streets.
"Oh my gosh, that was fast!" Sharq commented, running through the streets, which at this point were either emptied or filled with screaming, panicked citizens.
The brothers dashed through the streets. Ahead of them, Rem, Ix, and Maria all sprinting ahead towards a large machine. The machine itself looked somewhat like a kraken itself, painted black with blue serving as the accents, eight mechanical tentacles stretching out wide. The tentacles reached out from the ocean shores, crawling onto land. Just then, a tentacle from the machine opened up, revealing hundreds of missiles. The missiles, as soon as they were revealed, were fired out from the tentacle, aiming for Inkopolis. Most of the missiles merely hit the shore-side buildings and streets, which have since been evacuated.
"UHAHAHA! THE KRAKEN SHALL BIRTH A NEW BEGINNING FOR OCTARIANS!" A voice cackled out from the KRAKEN machine as the missiles flew, Rem and Ix hopping on top of two missiles launched with ease, shouting something at the person inside.
"So that's this Metal Gear they were talking about?" Splin muttered, inspecting KRAKEN from a distance. "It's not too different from what I've expected. Although the name seems kinda familiar."
"Splin!" Sharq exclaimed, lightly smacking Splin on the back of his head using the back of his own hand. "Stop daydreaming, we need to get people to safety, remember?"
"Oh yeah! This way, folks! It's all under control!" Splin shouted, ushering civilian jellyfish and Inklings away from the area of destruction. "...I hope."
As they ushered several Inklings and jellyfish away, Splin then glanced at Sharq with a bizarre look. "Wait, since when do you give the orders?"
While a shrimp jogged past them, Sharq blinked and smiled sheepishly. "Uh, sorry."
"No, no, that's totally fine!" Splin exclaimed, "Just keep going."
The two escorted the citizens to safety, getting them to take shelter inside of buildings far from the battle. The mob filed into several buildings free of debris. Of course, screams and panic remained constant; several shards of debris were flung at them from the battle. As the action went on, the brothers began sprinting away, until Splin stopped for a second, staring at the KRAKEN.
"Huh." Splin said, a light smile present on his face.
"Splin, what are you doing man?! Come on, let's move!" Sharq said, gesturing away from the killing machine.
"...Just a little curious. It's a marvelous piece of technology, you know?" Splin said, interested in the Metal Gear.
"Wha?!" Sharq shook his head in confusion, eyes wide. "Splin, snap out of it! What's gotten into you, are you nuts?!"
"You were the one telling me to chill out, right?" Splin said.
"I was just asking what your definition of 'normal' was!" Sharq shouted.
All of a sudden, Rem was knocked back by a tentacle blow, crashing into a building nearby. Not before slamming through multiple other buildings of course. Splin and Sharq looked over, gasping, then ran towards her, picking her up as well as assisting with dusting her off.
"You okay?" Splin asked.
"Other than the fact that was one of the hardest hits I've ever taken, I'd say I'm ok." Rem told the brothers, a hand massaging her forehead. She stood up and dusted herself off and said, "Why are you two here, by the way? I thought you would have gone with everybody else."
Splin looked at her, glancing at the KRAKEN for a second, grinning sheepishly. "W-Well, there could always be more people here, you know?"
Rem stared hard at Splin for a moment, the normally cautious brother sweating only a little, nervously shaking, though the shakes were nullified by the shakes caused by the Metal Gear. He was not sure why, but Splin desperately wanted to watch.
Rem shrugged after a few moments. "If you say so."
Rem sprinted towards the KRAKEN, Ix already attempting to beat it back, Maria providing support with a sniper rifle trained directly on the Metal Gear, which was starting to beach itself onto the shores.
Sharq turned to Splin, confusion and concern carried in his eyes. "...Splin, what are you doing?"
"I'm sorry, it's just…" Splin sighed. "I dunno, it looks really interesting."
Sharq frowned. "You didn't think it was too interesting when we tried to fight the Skell."
"Yeah, but there's just something appealing with this Metal Gear… Who knows, perhaps with our observations, we could sketch up some schematics or something, a weapon to surpass Metal Gear, huh?" Splin smirked.
"...Um, that WOULD be pretty cool, but…" Sharq paused suddenly. "Wait…wha?"
A man somewhere lifted his head, looking around. The man squinted his eyes, then shrugged, adjusting his round spectacles while brushing his dark brown hair out of his face, then went back to sitting down on a pair of what appeared to be bionically assisted legs, two bionics attached to a small chair holding him up, the man looking over a collection of papers held in by a clipboard.
"...Less food before bed, Huey." He told himself in a shaky voice, examining the notes, blueprints of large robots drawn on them.
"Weird." Sharq blinked.
"...You felt that too, right?" Splin asked his brother, who nodded. "What WAS that?"
"I...really don't know." Sharq admitted, watching the battle rage on by the beach front.
They watched the siblings from another dimension defend the city from the destructive cephalopod mech, watching blades extend from the KRAKEN's tentacles, chopping the ground nearby Rem and Ix, catching nothing but air and sand, the attacks breaking through the ground, causing small tremors. Several unlucky businesses were slashed, from tanning salons to small snack bars. Several splinters of wood erupted from the buildings.
"I'm seriously reconsidering our choice to stand here and watch, bro!" Splin yelled, stepping back wobbly.
Sharq turned to Splin, a clearly irritated glare smack dab on his face. "Our choice?! Splin, you're the one who wanted to stay!"
"True, true, but come on! This looks awesome!" Splin said grinning, a crackling of explosions sounding off in multiple buildings.
Sharq stared at the explosions, his lip quivering, until he gave in, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. "Fine, you win. But if that gets too close, we run, got it?"
"Got it!" Splin said, looking at the fight.
Sharq suddenly blinked in realization. "Hold on one second... Since when were you so interested in-"
Splin turned to Sharq, a victorious, somewhat evil grin on his face. "The tables have turned, dear brother."
Sharq stood there for a minute, until a distressed grimace with a tiny hint of pride graced his face.
"No... way."
"Now do you understand what I feel every time you force me into things?!" Splin asked, eyebrow raised. "Doesn't feel great, does it?"
"Hang on, since when have I gotten us stuck in a situation this bad?" Sharq questioned.
Chapter 1: The Brothers Go To an Inkslide Park, to be precise.
"Gee, thanks for choosing a side, voice!" Sharq complained, bullets ricocheting in the background. "I just wanted to have fun! I didn't know the park would crumble apart!"
"Exactly! This is basically your punishment, and I'm milking this for all it's worth, honestly." Splin grinned, taking a seat by a building.
Sharq groaned, taking a seat next to him, pouting. They watched the other Inklings beat the mech sprawled out on the sand with radiant ferocity, taking care to step back each time they assumed an attack would end up frying the two, like a laser or a missile. An attack from Ix suddenly caused the KRAKEN to release a screech, which began to pierce the ears of our two young brothers.
"Aaugh!" Splin groaned, blocking his ears.
"Ngah!" Sharq cried out, covering his ears as well.
"Could you two get that thing to screech a little bit quieter!?" Sharq asked, smothering his ears.
Across the street, Rem smashed in part of the KRAKEN with a simple headbutt, a female voice chiming out in response, "Voice systems offline."
"Thank you…" Sharq said quietly, rubbing his ears.
"...Still worth it!" Splin said, giving his head a light smack to clear it.
"You're such a jerk!" Sharq cried out, much to the amusement of his younger brother.
Splin laughed, immediately stopping once he turned around, facing the battle once more. KRAKEN was hurdling through the air, tentacles flailing about in the air as it flew, crashing to a stop on the ground close by. Sharq, reacting quickly, tackled Splin to the ground, the two of them barely missing the debris flung from the impact. Sharq stood back up, picking Splin up, the two of them shaking and panting for breath.
"Are you ok?" Sharq questioned, looking over his brother for any injuries.
"Y-Yeah…" Splin sighed, staring over at the KRAKEN, lying down embedded in the ground, smoke rising quickly from the Metal Gear. "Come on you two…"
Splin turned to his brother, ready to perform an injury analysis of his own, only met with an unflinching glare from Sharq, Splin's own pupils shrinking. The two stood in silence, Splin backing up nervously.
"Uh…" Splin stammered, backing up against a wall.
Sharq didn't say anything, only proceeding to glare more at Splin. After about a minute, he closed his eyes.
"...Splin." He said.
"...W-What is it, Sharq?" Splin asked.
Sharq chuckled quietly, Splin closing his eyes in preparation of a retaliation. Instead, he was greeted with a warm hug, Sharq's head lying across his shoulder.
"...L-Look Splin, I'm sorry for pushing you into things recently." Sharq said. "I just, you know, thought it would be fun, right?"
Splin stood, mouth agape, until he looked down at the floor, guilt etched into his face. "...I'm sorry too, I didn't think this through, exactly." Splin rubbed the back of his head, before returning the hug, an exasperated sigh escaping his mouth.
Sharq sniffled, a teary smile on his face now. "...Apology accepted. You wanna go back to watching the fight?"
"...Sure. You alright?" Splin asked. "Huh, everyone's crying a lot more recently."
"I guess voice should stop leaving onions sitting out in the open then, huh?" Sharq said.
The two stood in silence, or at least as silent as a loud rampaging robot in the background could sound, awkwardly letting the joke sit.
"Uh, so, anyways… The fight?" Sharq said, gesturing back towards the mech.
"Right, right." Splin coughed to clear the silence. "Both of us need to learn how comedy works."
I'll try to give you a lesson after this is done.
The brothers turned to the mechanical monstrosity, now lying broken on the floor, pieces of rubble covering the top. An Octo-Inkling hybrid laid on the ground next to it, her black and red tentacles tiredly slumped on the Metal Gear. She yelled something the brothers couldn't hear, and lunged towards Ix, standing nearby on top of the KRAKEN. Instead of ramming into him, she fell halfway, Ix catching her in his arms quickly. Tek then appeared in a puff of smoke that quickly vanished behind her, taking the other Octo-Inkling and pushing her to the ground, a pair of handcuffs in her hands, restraining her fellow hybrid, slinging her over her shoulders afterwards.
Sharq walked forward a bit, yelling up to them, "Is it over?!"
"It's over!" Ix yelled back.
Sharq sighed in relief.
"So does this mean…?" Rem asked, landing nearby on top of the mech. "Does this mean it's ALL over?"
"Yeah, no more fighting." Ix told her, smiling, though he looked somewhat unsure.
"Guess that means you two have to go home, huh?" Maria questioned, also landing on top of the mech, smiling, though her eyes betrayed the happy facade.
"I would, but I have my insane sister over my shoulders. But…" Tek looked over at Tenta, sleeping surprisingly peacefully. "I think we managed to knock some sense into her. Oh, by the way…" She turned to a pod built into the KRAKEN, smoke pouring out over it. "I think the little trinket you need is in there."
"Alright, I'll go get it." Ix said, heading into the pod. After a minute of searching, he came out with a miniature sphere, covered in soot and cracks. "Got it." He said, tossing it up in the air and catching it. He paused for a moment, staring at the orb, an idea flashing into his head. "Hold this," He said, handing the orb to Rem, then jumped off the mech, landing in front of Splin and Sharq. "You two."
"Yeah?" Sharq asked wonderingly.
Ix silently reached for his head, pulling off a white headband holding his tentacles upright, letting the tentacles drop down from his head in doing so.
"Something to remember us by." Ix said, smiling, holding out the headband. "Take it."
Sharq blinked in amazement. Splin, walking over past Sharq, reached out for the band, taking it from Ix, both of the brothers staring at it for a few seconds. "We'll keep it safe, I promise."
Immediately he stuffed it in his shorts pocket.
"Ix!" Maria called out, dropping by her son. "Could you come with me? I want to… give you something before you go." Maria motioned for Ix to follow, walking behind a piece of KRAKEN smashed into the ground, sticking out like a knife, the two standing behind, discreetly speaking.
Everyone stood in silence, the sounds of disorientated snores from Tek's sister echoing throughout the city, as well as sirens from various emergency services.
"Man, this is gonna cost the city a fortune." Splin whistled, looking around at the destruction.
"Yeah." Sharq said, looking around as well. "Remind me never again to anger anything huge and dangerous."
"That would've come in handy a while ago." Splin remarked with a scowl. "I'm beginning to think we're probably the biggest threat to any race on the planet considering our track record."
"...OH! Maybe THAT'S why mom and dad built the house on the hills!" Sharq said, pounding his fist on the open palm of his left hand.
"Interesting theory…" Splin said, smirking. The smirk vanished instantly. "...Too interesting."
After a while, Ix and Maria left the privacy of the large KRAKEN shard, Rem smiling in response. "Alright, Ix. Home time."
"I know, I know." Ix said, walking up besides the other three siblings of the Altezio family, turning to Maria. "Gonna miss you, you know?"
"I know." Maria said, tears already beginning to drip down her face.
"Ah, you're crying already? We haven't even left yet!" Maria joked, the group chuckling in response.
"Voice?" Splin and Sharq murmured jestingly.
Nah man, I didn't have anything to do with those tears.
"Hasta la vista." Rem said, bidding them a goodbye, pressing a button on the orb she carried, the four other cephalopods vanishing along with KRAKEN.
"...Wait, they took that thing with them?" Sharq asked, the rubble previously on the area where KRAKEN was falling through thin air, landing on the ground. No one answered his question, standing there in silence, small droplets of tears dropping down Maria's eyes.
"HAHAHA! Face me, evildoer, or face my wrath instead!" A familiar boastful voice yelled out, Ari, Inkbrush brandished like a lance, running towards the area where the KRAKEN once sat. "Fear me, for the great Ari, is completely- Where'd it go?" He asked, skidding to a halt.
"Uh…" Splin muttered. "You know the teenager you tried to flirt with earlier, Ari?"
Ari holstered his Inkbrush, adjusting his Jungle Hat. "...Yeah…?"
"She took care of it."
Ari's eye twitched, and the boastful teenage squid threw his hands up into the air in anger. "YOU GOTTA BE SQUIDDING ME. My glorious victory, stolen!"
"We actually already used that line twice before." Splin said with a sigh and a shake of his head. "Nice pun."
"Hey guys, where'd the mechanic harbinger of death go?" Zip asked, popping up besides Ari, who was sulking on the ground. "Don't tell me you two served it like a dish of calamari, did you?"
Sharq shook his head.
"Oh." Was Zip's only reply, the girl looking around at the destruction surrounding the city.
"Did I miss the beat-down?" Willie asked, arriving as well, looking around. "Shame, I got popcorn ready and everything!"
"Why is everyone suddenly so interested in this?" Splin asked.
"We DO have slow news days." Sharq said, shrugging.
"Stop right there!" A female voice cried out, a car hurdling towards everyone, luckily missing all of them completely, crashing into a building, a chunk of the building crashing down next to it.
Callie of the Squid Sisters fell out of the driver's seat, dizzy, but somehow unharmed despite the head-on collision with a building. Marie hopped out of the passenger's seat, picking up her cousin, both garbed in their Agent 1 and 2 disguises.
"No wonder Father Squidmas put you on the naughty list this year." Marie smirked.
"Oh yeah?!" Callie questioned offendedly. "Well at least I don't try to burn you on live television, how am I the naughty one again?!"
"It was a corporate decision! They thought irony would increase our views!" Marie argued.
The others stared at the bickering idols of Inkopolis for a while, the argument eventually settled with two not exactly happy cousins.
"Ahem." Splin coughed.
The cousins turned to the brothers and the rest of the members of the story, swiftly standing up straight, waving nervously.
"Why are you guys here?" Sharq asked.
"We're here to help you battle the-"
"Already taken care of," Splin said, pointing to the crater the KRAKEN was sitting in.
"Awwww…" Callie sighed.
"...You two look familiar, have we seen you before?" Zip asked.
"I, for once, agree with you plebs." Ari said, attempting to act condescending. "You also sound familiar… Ever sang in an album or something?"
The Squid Sisters began to sweat, both of them taking care to wipe the beads of sweat with towelettes brought with them, as stars have to look their best despite their disguises.
"Okay, well, it's cool you all came, but seriously, there's nothing left here, sorry." Sharq told them.
"Well, looks like our work has already been done for us, Agent 1, let's go." Marie said, Callie's face lighting up in excitement. "And I'M going to be driving this time." Callie frowned, crossing her arms, the two of them retreating into the car, Marie keeping an eye on Callie to make certain that she would stay in the passenger's seat, and started driving off despite the car's state.
After that odd encounter, Maria had stopped crying, staring up at the sky hopefully. Splin and Sharq looked over to the other three squids, Ari already beginning to tread away, hands stuck in his Varsity Jacket's pockets sourly, Zip and Willie waving their goodbyes, following the teen back to their restaurant.
"...What now?" Sharq asked, looking around.
"I… suppose we go home." Splin said, looking away from Inkopolis, up at the hills. "Now that I think about it, we weren't really useful this time around."
"Yep, we just kinda stood by. Not really sure why I brought weapons…" Sharq said disappointedly, staring down at his Mini-Splatling.
"I'd rather you bring weapons and stay behind cover…" Maria spoke up, smiling slightly. "Rather than get hacked into pieces, you two. Thanks for what you've done for us."
"You're welcome, I guess." Sharq said, smiling.
"Shall we, then?" Splin asked, gesturing to the hills.
All three of them, minding the broken pieces of asphalt and cement surrounding them, swithced into squid form, and Super Jumped away, their tentacles flailing in the wind, leaving the wrecked city of Inkopolis behind, pieces of building falling down and shattering.
AN: Well that was certainly one heck of a crossover arc, wouldn't you say? Don't worry about Inkopolis, I'll use the powers of deus ex machina and plot convenience to fix it up by next chapter. Hey, thanks again for sticking with this story, I know that Splat X isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I want to thank everyone who's stuck by my weird story for so long.
Aside from that, let's play a little guessing game. What begins with an "r" and ends with a "w"? Row, raw, Rem with the m upside down. Also reviews. Thanks to Dread Angel, OctoInkling75, and qwertyzuiopas701 for reviewing! Thanks for trying so hard to bring pineapples justice, Dread, don't worry, I'll see what I can do this Naughty vs. Nice Splatfest! OctoInkling75, thanks again so much for understanding, Aqua's just such a nice character to write. And qwertyzuiopas701, glad to hear you enjoyed Ari getting knocked down with a spoon! I'll see if they can get a break next chapter, they deserve it. Anyways, thanks so much to everyone again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, lemme see how I'm going to make my character look once I get Xenoblade Chronicles X this holiday season… Oh, and the Squidmas chapter! See you, study up for finals if you have 'em!