AN: Boring Slice of my Life: My holidays visit to Arizona was really awkward, or at least for me, my tortoise relatives got along pretty well while I sat to the side being introverted as always. Oh well. How were your guys holidays? Hope they were fun, hope you got the gifts you wanted, if not, TOO BAD. Nah just kidding I'd never wish that upon you kind viewers. Oh right, the story.
Splatoon: The Bate Bros.
Hot High Voltage Fight
Splin ducked behind a smashed in building, peeking around the corner carefully. He retracted his head back quickly, an artificial bolt of lightning striking the ground close to him. He rubbed his headphones, thinking hard on a battle plan.
"Alright, the Octarians somehow managed to engineer a Great Zapfish substitute. It's now on a rampage and shooting electricity at me. What do I do?" Splin asked himself silently, gulping down fear. "Wait, I know! I'll just wait out for reinforcements, the Octarians must see this eventually, they'll assist me."
At the Octarian HQ.
"Well, I'm too lazy to do anything." Tai stated simply, going back to sleeping.
"Normally I'd be inked off at you, but I'm wiped out from you being too wiped out to do anything." Aussie admitted.
"Hmm. Hey Sharq, your brother hasn't returned in a while, you think he's okay?" Chi asked.
Sharq still didn't reply, still staring straight at the decorated shard. "Huh? Yeah, I'm sure."
Splin didn't fully realize it, but his gut sank in realization that considering the others' tendencies, that probably wasn't the best plan. Regardless, Splin still held out, carefully peeking out of the corner again over towards the Great Zapbot.
"Uh, Zapbot?" Splin asked.
You know, because it's the Great Zapfish but a robot.
Anyways, searching for the Great Zapbot, Splin found nothing but charred patches of dirt. Splin took a test step outside of the broken building barricading him, pivoting while he walked as if to catch the Zapbot in his previously blind spots. Confused when he didn't find anything, Splin put a hand to his chin, until he felt a chilling static electrical feeling crawl up his back. Quickly turning around, he dived to the side in squid form, the Zapbot missing him by a tentacle, the Zapbot growling in response, its whiskers glowing. Splin began running in the opposite direction, his eyes wide in fright, as the Zapbot fired bursts of electricity from its whiskers like a certain pocket monster. The electricity didn't get far, but they nearly cooked Splin with each strike, one getting closer to his proximity after the other as Splin ran, a line of black scars continually being etched into the ground as he escaped. Spotting the kettle leading to the Octarian HQ, he momentarily hesitated, wondering if it was a good idea or not to enter with a deadly version of a catfish following so closely behind.
Another roar from the Zapbot quickly persuaded him that this was the best way to go, Splin leaping through the kettle as electricity surged from the mechanical monstrosity behind him, missing the squid.
Sliding through a long pipe, Splin dove through towards the base, landing in the briefing room. No one was there, except for Sharq, for whatever reason reason still staring at the Squidmas shard.
"Sharq!" Splin exclaimed, running over. "You're not going to believe this-"
Sharq blinked, his pupils shrinking. "Huh? What?"
"...Have you been staring at that all day?" Splin asked, gesturing to the well decorated ceiling piece.
"...Yeah."
Splin facepalmed. "Okay, fine, well we need to warn the others, there's a Zapbot outside and it doesn't mean well. Can you help me out with this?"
Sharq nodded, hopping off the seat he laid dormant on. "Sure! Where is it?"
The Zapbot's head burst through the ceiling, grinning mischievously, metallic teeth glimmering red and green from the light reflecting off of the festive table.
"There." Splin pointed out.
The Zapbot opened its maw, a sphere of electricity beginning to charge, when a blot of fuchsia ink caused it to halt, the Zapfish glaring in the direction of the shot.
On the table, Tai stood heroically, Octoshot aimed, a frown on her face, boots carelessly dragging dirt on the table.
"Breaking and entering is my thing, bolt bucket." She spat.
"Get OFF the table!" Aussie yelled, appearing with an Octoshot, grabbing Tai by the back of her armor and pulling her off forcefully.
"Aw, Auss come on! I'm trying to pose here!" Tai complained, reaching for the hand pulling her away.
The Zapbot stared at the scene in confusion. Then it unleashed a blast of electricity. The attack once again scorching the ground from the electricity intensity. Aussie's eyes widened, pulling back Tai harder, eliciting a bit of a gagging noise from the other Octoling as a result, the two diving away from the attack.
"Gack! Auss, you-" Tai managed to say before she was pulled back again, angrily grasping at her superior's hand.
"You two distract the Zapbot, we'll move in for the krill!" Aussie exclaimed. "...OH MY COD I JUST MADE A PUN, DIDN'T I?!"
"You're learning!" Tai said with a sarcastic, delighted tone, causing Aussie to grit her teeth irritably.
Sharq nodded, and completely ditched the robot, crawling up a kettle as a squid, his tentacles disappearing through the grates, Splin following shortly after. The Zapbot glared at the kettle, then snapped its head to the sound of gunfire. Aussie was blasting the bot with a barrage of violet ink, the ink mostly sliding off the shiny metal exterior of the Zapbot harmlessly. Aussie growled in frustration.
"Step aside Auss, lemme show you how it's done." Tai said, chucking a Splat Bomb towards the Zapbot.
The Splat Bomb hurdled towards the Zapbot, then was immediately deflected by the Zapbot turning around surprisingly quickly in the small space it was in, smacking back the Splat Bomb into Tai's face, which exploded.
Aussie stared in exasperation at Tai's failed attack attempt. "See what happens when you slack off on training?"
"...Shut up." Tai said, aiming towards the Zapbot.
All of a sudden, the Zapbot began to flap its tailfin, pushing itself out of the Octarian HQ, scattering nuts and bolts carelessly.
"Weird, why'd it leave?" Tai asked, holstering her weapon.
"...I'm not sure, when I was younger, I remember the schematics being shown to us during a briefing during the Great Turf Wars." Aussie stated, hand on her chin. "The uh…"
Zapbot.
"Zapbot, I believe…it was made as a substitute for electricity in case the power would ever cease." Aussie said.
"...Okay, then how do you explain its thirst for blood just then?" Tai asked.
"We added defenses in case Inklings ever decided to steal it...hold on…weren't you there?" Aussie asked. "All of the Octarians were called in for that day."
Tai looked up to the ceiling to reminisce.
*Scene of younger Tai sleeping yet again while a younger Aussie glares at her missing*
"Hmm. Memory's fuzzy." Tai stated, staring up at the hole. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go after it!"
"You saw what our weapons did to it, we need back-up." Aussie told her.
"What?! We need to go after it now, or it'll get away!" Tai protested.
Aussie folded her arms. "T-41, it's a small area above, the Zapbot isn't going to get far."
Sounds of crashing and Inkling yelps began outside.
"Splin and Sharq are out there getting their tentacles whipped!" Tai said, gesturing to the smashed ceiling.
"They can handle it." Aussie said with a hint of uncertainty.
Screams and zapping noises intensify in the background after she says so.
"...They have the ski-"
"Lemme stop you right there, Splin and Sharq are unarmed, aren't trained in combat arts, and are overall probably not the best you want in the field of battle if I'm going to be honest." Tai said, blowing a tentacle out of her face.
"...Alright, fine, you go outside and assist them, I'll try request help." Aussie said, running off into the base.
Tai nodded, heading up the kettle, leaving the shattered meeting room behind.
"Hey guys." Chi said with a wave, walking into the briefing room. "Sorry, wanted a quick sip of joe, what's-"
Chi stopped and looked around at the destroyed ceiling and debris-covered table, a cup of coffee steaming in her hands.
"Geez, did you guys have an argument in here again?" Chi wondered aloud, shaking her head, walking away nonchalantly.
Meanwhile, above the Octarian base:
"Aaaaaaahhhhhh!" The brothers screamed, dashing away from the Zapbot.
This apparently.
The brothers ran in a loop between sprinting in a straight line away from the Zapbot, comically large lightning bolts like that of an overemphasized drawing that a youngling would make dangerously burning up the ground, heating up the air uncomfortably with each strike.
An electrical blast soared dangerously over Sharq's head, which Sharq responded with momentarily lifting his cap and letting the bolt soar stupidly close, missing him.
"I hope someone was recording that!" Sharq said with a laugh, cut short by another barrage of attacks from the Zapbot.
"Sharq, your jokes aren't going to subdue this thing!" Splin cried out, gasping suddenly, ducking to the ground in squid form to avoid more electrical attacks.
The two ran behind yet another destroyed structure, leaning against a wall, breathing heavily.
"Did we lose it?" Sharq asked.
A demonic robot catfish face bursting out of the wall answered his question. The Zapbot grinned evilly, and would've probably made a "Here's Johnny!" reference, but frowned once it realized the only sounds it made were ear-piercing screeches.
"Ow!" The brothers cried out, clutching their ears.
The Zapbot smiled happily once it realized the screeches could incapacitate the boys for a moment, bobbing its nonexistent eyebrows up and down towards the reader. The Zapbot tackled the two, launching them into the air.
The two then landed on top of Cap'n's shack, a sharp clanging from the fall startling a Cuttlefish lying on a dusty old blue couch.
"Whazzat?! What's all the commotion out here?" Cap'n demanded, hopping up and off his couch.
Quick Mid-chapter disclaimer:
(I apologize for that cranky old person cliché, if you or a loved one have been offended in anyway shape or form, I will personally slam my head on my desk three times. If that doesn't make you feel better, then I'm sending you the bill for my medical procedure, you ungrateful squid.)
"Oohhhh…" Sharq groaned, his eyes covered by the lid of his cap.
"Ngh…" Splin grunted, sitting up on the roof.
"Agent A and B? What in the name of crabby cakes is going on?" Cap'n asked.
The Zapbot smacked Cap'n away with a swipe of a tailfin, sending him tumbling to the ground, lying dazed on the dirt.
"Ooogh, Callie, get me off this rollercoaster ride…" He muttered dizzily.
"Well that was just uncalled for." Splin remarked.
"Hey! You can't go around hitting old squids!" Sharq yelled at the bot, which grinned as if it had pulled the greatest prank in this history of the universe.
Sharq frowned, then yelled a fierce battle cry, charging at the bot, while Splin facepalmed in the background at his distinct lack for battle logic. Sharq jumped up, punching the Zapbot in the tail. All that managed to do was cause Sharq to grasp his punching hand with a pained expression.
"Oww…" Sharq groaned.
The Zapbot began charging up yet another attack, a yellow sphere of energy forming in its mouth, Sharq flinching while Splin dashed over to his brother as if to somehow shield him, when it paused suddenly, its head twitching. Splin and Sharq stared at the Zapbot cautiously when they noticed a beam of light piercing the metal skin of the robot menace. They looked up a little, their mouths gaping in awe. The Octarian Skell was brandishing a condensed beam of ink energy, some drops of extremely hot ink dripping down the sheet metal skin of the Zapbot.
"Amazing." Splin murmured.
"Hey! Catch!"
Sharq snapped in the direction of the voice, an Octoshot being tossed to the two brothers. They caught it with ease, staring at the Octoling who had lent them the arm.
"Aim for the maw!" Tai yelled.
Splin and Sharq nodded simultaneously, Splin crouching low with one eye closed, Sharq curling his hands into fists in hope.
"You have one shot at this, the Skell's having difficulty keeping the Zapbot steady!" Aussie explained, gesturing to the Skell and Zapbot shaking somewhat. "Make it count!"
Splin took a deep breath, glancing at Sharq. Sharq crouched by him, nodding, Splin turning back towards the Zapbot. With a steady hand, Splin aimed towards the gaping mouth of the Zapbot, the yellow sphere of electricity inside still remaining, and fired. The blue-violet ink shot from the Octoshot collided with the sphere of electricity, seemingly having done nothing.
"Oh no." Splin muttered, withdrawing the gun.
Luckily for him, the Zapbot closed its mouth, blinking. Its eyes began to shine for a moment, when suddenly the Zapbot exploded, a huge plume of fire and smoke rising up into the air, as well as ink droplets. The explosion pushed everyone back somewhat, each and everyone of the cephalopods shutting their eyes. As the smoke cleared, they gradually opened their eyes, opening them to quite the sight.
Lying down in the ground, mostly damaged, was the Octarian Skell and the Zapbot, both sparking out electricity, from exposed wiring.
"UNIT DAMAGED SEVERELY, MULTIPLE FUNCTIONS OFFLINE. Ow. :(" The Skell declared with a shaky, robotic voice, its eye blinking on and off.
The Zapbot wheezed, as if to share the Skell's sentiments. Or at least its disembodied head did, the rest laid discarded all around the place.
"Yeah!" Sharq cheered.
"Is anyone injured?" Aussie asked.
"REPEAT, UNIT DAMAGED SEVERELY, MULTIPLE FUNCTIONS OFFLINE. Emphasis on the, 'Ow'! :(" The Skell "said", groaning.
"I'm really beginning to regret the decision to include a semi-sentience chip." Aussie muttered, shaking her head. "Well done, Inklings. Once again, you've prevented an Octoweapon rampage. Nice work, if I had the authority I'd give you medals. Thank you."
"Each and everyone of you-"
No Soldier.
"Gnngh." A disciplined voice grumbled, sounds of shuffling in the background fading away.
"In the meantime, I'm going to notify HQ to clean this mess up."
Cap'n Cuttlefish groaned in the background.
"As well as probably tend to the Inkling elder injuries over there." Tai added.
"Again, thank you so much." Aussie said with a rare smile, turning to Tai. "T-41, let's go."
"Sure, Auss." Tai said boredly, Aussie's smile fading into a sigh and frown, who walked off. Tai turned to the brothers with a grin on her face. "Arigato again guys, heck, you managed to get Aussie to smile for once. Appreciate what you've been doing for us."
"Aw, no problem Tai!" Sharq said.
"That remains between us, I don't want the others to think I'm getting soft." Tai said. "I think I'll stay here, maybe I'll get to keep some scrap metal for something. See ya, happy holidays."
Tai waved, Splin and Sharq waving back, Tai dashing off with that final note, slinging Cap'n Cuttlefish over her back. Sharq turned to Splin with a happy but tired look, which Splin answered with a nod and baggy eyes. The two squids hopped off away from the valley, taking the manhole, and leaving the octopi to their own devices, which just so happened to be smoking heaps of broken metal.
"ERROR, WORDS DO NOT MATCH CORRECT DEFINITION. ...Wait, was that a pun? :O" The Skell chimed curiously.
You have no idea.
Actual AN: For Real: Sorry this wasn't released sooner, holiday stuff happened. Uh, so, as one turtle such as I grows up, I realize that a lot of things start happening. Not the creepy weird biologic stuff, no, I mean responsibilities. Things like having to manage new school supplies for the new year, studying for a driving exam that I'll probably fail worse than even Callie's-
"Hey!"
...And other stuff I really don't want to have to do. What does this have to do with the story? Well, with more work to do and less free time, it means less chapters being put out. Plus, the news that no new content will be added for Splatoon itself after January doesn't make me feel confident, as there's only so much I can write/make up about a single game before it gets extremely dull. I hope you'll understand those who enjoy this story, when I say:
I could be going into an extended hiatus.
It's not really a bad thing, per say, heck I'm sure all of you breathed sighs of relief or rolled their eyes expected something worse, but hey, it could happen. I'm not saying I WILL be, but judging on how things go, this could not end well. Sorry in advance. But in the meantime, I could try to brew up ideas for other stories for other games, who knows?
But thanks for reading again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to explore the vast world of Mira. Goodbye.