Lost without her

Inuyasha returned to the kitchen, head hung low and ears flat against his silver hair covered head. He slid down into a chair lost in his mind and still stuck in the moment just shared with Kagome. He felt like that was going to be the last time he would ever feel like she was his. He knew she was gone and her heart was sealed from him. He really messed up this time.

"Inuyasha," Miroku spoke cautiously, worried about his friend.

"She locked me out of our bedroom." Inuyasha sighed, "All of my good suit shirts are in there."

"You can borrow one of mine if you are truly worried about it," Miroku suggested to the other man, "I know you have spare clothes in the guest room. Go get a shower and get changed, the work and myself will still be here when you return."

Inuyasha agreed to the suggestion and slowly got up, sluggishly going up the stairs and to the second bathroom. So far gone in thought, he did not realize he had showered and finished his morning hygiene routine until he stood looking into a dresser for clothes. Snap out of it Inuyasha, you can fix this like you always do.

Dressed and ready for the day, he went back to the kitchen for his first cup of coffee of the day. Miroku seemed to have not moved an inch, but Inuyasha knew otherwise as he inspected the fresh pot of coffee. With cup in hand, he doctored his own drink before finding a seat at the dining room table. Miroku soon followed, files and documents in hand.

"What do we have today, Miroku? Has the Tengu Corp sent their proposals for the merger with our graphic designs department?" In an attempt to fight off the emotions, Inuyasha began work.

"Not quite, there seems to be some uncertainty. Originally our company and theirs would merge, in essence we are just buying them out of debt because their research department spent every penny in the company. Now, there is another company attempting to swoop in and grab it before we final anything. We were assigned with coming up with an inventive way to show them that we are the best option, but not…" Miroku stopped mid-sentence to inspect the other man who was obviously lost in thought.

Several minutes past before Inuyasha realized that Miroku had stopped talking, left the table, and returned with another cup of coffee.

"I'm sorry, can we go over the numbers again?"

"Inuyasha, I never mentioned the numbers, we have not even opened a file to look at the numbers."

"What were we talking about?"

"I think we need to talk about what happened from the time you left work yesterday until now." Miroku's voice was firm yet gentle, trying not to upset a very short tempered inu-youkai.

Temper rising, Inuyasha lashed out, "There is NOTHING to talk about. FUCK!" Inuyasha stood, storming off with coffee in hand down the hallway towards the in home office.

Miroku followed after gathering up the files and placing his empty cup into the kitchen sink.

"You went to Kikyou again last night, didn't you Inuyasha?" Miroku asked after walking into the office.

"Yea, but I swear it was for the last time!" Nostrils flaring, tears forming, and angry just under the surface, Inuyasha was ready to snap.

"You have done it too much for Kagome to forgive you this time." Sigh, "She seemed past anger, she seemed composed and decided."

"I just wanted Kikyou to know it was over for good... then she started crying and I stayed later then I should."

"You need to own up to it and stop blaming everything but yourself. You went there knowing what would happen if you went. You drank too much and gods knows what went on. I am a mere human and I can smell her sex all over you mixed in with that musky perfume she wears!"

"You need to watch your mouth, Monk! I will crush you," Grinding teeth together, Inuyasha showed fangs.

"Well, I'm sorry... But Kagome will always be more important" Miroku paused. "She's been here from the beginning and has loved you with no regret or objection to what you are, she's never tried to change you."

"She will come back. She loves me and I love her."

"Inuyasha, I think this is it. She is not coming back to lay in a bed of broken promises."

Inuyasha covered his face as he sat in his desk chair, "What have I done?!"

"You've lost the only one whose love was greater than anything."

With that, Inuyasha sat and silently wept with the confirmed knowledge that life as he knew it was over. Miroku knew that Kagome would never come back to him, that she had finally guarded her heart against his torrential down poor. He also knew that Inuyasha was going to fight for Kagome because without her, he was an empty shell constantly reaching out for acceptance.