Rating: M
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer own all characters in Twilight. I'm just messin' with them for a bit.
Thanks Tits and Ass.
I bet I get a lot of reviews after this chapter.
CHAPTER 31
Bella
Edward and I walk out of the courthouse with the temporary protection order in hand. I feel a little better and I know Edward does as well.
"So what's next?" I ask him since my most critical errands for today are done already.
"Why don't I take my girl to lunch and then we can go from there?" He suggests. "I know a great place that I think you will like."
"Well then, let's go." I say and we head for the car with his arm around my waist.
Edward finds a parking spot and we have to walk a ways before we get to the restaurant. Once we walk through the door a short, heavy and very Italian looking woman walks toward Edward and envelops him in a big bear hug, pounding his back so hard it takes the wind out of him.
"Hey Mama." He says with an Italian accent. "Tu sei bella come sempre, mamma."
Oh my god.
"Edward, was that Italian you just spoke?"
"Yes. Do you like Italian, la mia bella?" He says, half grinning at me. Where's a hotel room when you need one?
"Oh, hell yes, Edward." I think I'm fidgeting and rubbing my thighs together. Yes, I'm certain of it.
"Good to know, baby." He says in is velvety smooth voice as we sit at our table.
Once the server arrives, I watch as she eye fucks my guy.
Oh hell no!
"Hello again, Edward." She says, ignoring me. Did she just lick her lips at him?
"Megan." He replies in acknowledgment. "You ready to order, babe?" He asks me.
"I am. I would like a large bowl of the pasta fagioli, please. Thank you." I say, looking up at Megan who only has eyes for Edward.
"Mmmm, that sounds really good." Edward says, looking at me. "I will have what she's having."
"Anything else, Edward?" Megan asks, clearly ignoring me and totally focusing on Edward.
"Yes, an order of warm sour dough with the soup please. Not before, but with. Two iced teas and two house salads. Thanks, that's all." He continues to look at me, grinning.
"So, do you get that a lot?" I question him.
"What, baby?" He asks, pretending not to know what I am talking about.
"You know what I mean. You are a total chick magnet. I guess I have my work cut out for me and should pack my baseball bat whenever we go somewhere."
"Bella, I only have eyes for you and you know it." He deadpans. "I suspect you have problems in that area as well. I saw how the men were ogling you at the dinner last night." He says, taking my hand across the table running his thumb over the top of it.
"Yeah, everywhere I go. It's a pain. I hate it. Can't go anywhere. Can't do anything. So many men clamoring at my door!" I say sarcastically, grinning at him.
"Rosalie told Emmett that's exactly what happens but you are oblivious to it. She said that after Jacob, you went into a deep depression and once you were able to function in life again you were oblivious to the advances of men."
"Wow, she said all that, eh? Guess we need to have a talk too." I say, referring to the talk I still need to have with Alice.
"I only want your eyes on me, Edward, and on no one else." I flirt.
"Abso-freakin-lutely." He replies, looking at me out the corner of his eyes, smiling when I nail the movie reference.
"Remember Me." I banter, enjoying our movie line game.
Once our soup and salad arrives, I dig in and when Edward hears my moans he looks at me over his spoon, raising his brow.
"Sounding mighty sexy over there, Bella." He says before intentionally slurping his soup.
"This is really good. I can't help it."
"So," Edward starts, "after lunch, I need to get back to the office to take care of a few things. Do you want to come with or can I drop you off at home or at moms?" He asks.
"Can I borrow your office at home? I want to do some internet research relative to Stanford. I need to get working on that, so if I can use your desk and your wireless, that would be great." I say, taking another spoonful of soup.
"I have a guest space at my office if you want to do it there." He offers.
"Okay, that would be great but we will need to swing by the house to get my laptop. Thanks, Edward."
After we continue our lunch discussing various subjects, Megan brings the bill by and when Edward picks it up, Megan's telephone number is written on it. Once I see it, I call her over to the table.
"Oh, Megan, here, you forgot something." I say handing her the piece of paper with her number on it. "Edward doesn't need this and when a man calls the woman he is dining with 'babe', you should get a clue."
"Let's go, tiger." Edward says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, chuckling as we walk toward the door.
~BD~
After I spend the afternoon at Edward's office doing my research, it is time to head home to the city. Although I will miss him terribly, it will be nice to get back to my old stomping grounds.
"I am going to miss you, baby." Edward says into my mouth, kissing me goodbye.
"Oh, me too, Edward. It won't be for long. I just need to get a few things done, pay some bills and all that, and I will be back. You won't even know I've been gone." I reply.
"Oh, so not true. I will most definitely know you are gone, Bella." He wraps his arms around me giving me a sweet hug.
"I will call you as soon as I get home. I will miss you tonight for sure. I've gotten used to having you near me when I sleep." I say into the crook of his neck.
"I love you, Edward."
"And I love you, Bella."
After a few more kisses and hugs, he puts me in the back seat of the car and we put our hands on the glass before Rosalie pulls out and drives down the lane.
My phone immediately pings a text.
E: i miss you already!
B: me too and i'm not even off your property yet.
E: please come back as soon as you can?
B: i promise baby. love you.
E: i love you back. hurry.
B: k. i will call you tonight.
The drive to the city is filled with giddy gossip of the Cullen boys and of our sexual escapades.
"Oh my god you guys, Emmett is so fucking sexy. I have never had anyone, ever, make me feel the way he does." Rosalie actually giggles.
"It must run in the family then." I reply.
"Jasper is very sweet and giving. But when he turns into the monster, I get my brains fucked out that's for sure." Alice says shocking the hell out of us and we all bust out laughing.
It feels good to be with my friends and to be in love again.
~BD~
It's been three days since I left Edward and I miss him terribly and I guess it's starting to show because the girls are encouraging me to go back to Napa.
"Am I that bad?" I ask, hoping I haven't been the bitch they imply I have been.
"Yes, Bella. You are that bad." Rosalie states. "Why don't we pack a bag and surprise the guys by driving to see them today?" She asks.
"Oh, let's." Alice says, clapping her hands and jumping on the balls of her feet. "Jasper will just shit when he sees me standing at his door."
"Okay, we can be there by noon." I say. "Let's stop in Napa for lunch first. There is a cool restaurant Edward took me to. We can do a girls lunch before we get lost in our own lives again."
"That sounds like a great idea, just like the good ol' days." Rose says.
"I will have to take my own car though. I want Baby there with me so I have transportation. Not that Edward doesn't have enough cars for me to borrow, but I just need to feel independent and not have to rely on him too much, you know?"
"Okay, we can just follow you to the restaurant then." Rose says.
After Alice returns from getting what she needs at her place, she pulls her car into the garage, I hop in my baby and we head toward Napa. The traffic this time of day isn't too bad since it's a work day so the road is practically ours.
We were in Napa in no time arriving at 1:00. We find two parking places a short distance from the restaurant and we are giggling like little girls as we walk in.
But my world is over when I see him. I can't breath. I can't think. I can't feel anything but my heart stop.
There he sits at a table for two. He is smiling at her. They are holding hands. They look… happy.
Oh, fuck, am I going to faint? Lord not here, please. I can't let him see me so I turn and run out the door. I run down the street to my car. I get in as fast as I can and head back toward the highway.
My phone starts ringing immediately. I knew it would. It's him. I don't answer. It keeps ringing then Rosalie's ringtone chimes.
"Hello, Rose." I answer.
"Bella, get your ass back here right now. It was a misunderstanding. Once you hear what was going on, you will understand. This is not Jacob, Bella. It's Edward." She says.
"No, Rose. I can't. Oh, god, I'm going to be sick." I say and I throw the phone on the seat and jerk my car over and throw up as soon as I get my door open. I didn't even get a chance to get out of the car. As soon as I shut my door I couldn't hold it back any longer. The sobbing starts. Deep guttural sobs. It seems like hours passed before I stop crying long enough to drive, but as soon as I do I hear someone shouting over my phone.
"Sorry, Rose. I got sick and forgot you were still on the phone." I say mechanically.
"Bella, it's Edward, please don't hang up. Please. Let me explain to you." God, I love his voice. I hang up.
I put my car back in gear and drive straight home. What happened? How can I be so happy and so in love one moment and the very next it's gone? Like a puff of smoke… poof.
My phone rings and pings so much I have to turn it off, but not before I text the girls to tell them that I am home. That I am safely locked up in the house. That I am taking a hot bath and taking a sleeping pill. I tell them not to worry about me and like a masochist, I read Edward's texts.
E: Bella, please, I need to talk to you. It's not what you think you saw.
Another,
E: Baby, please don't do this. I was saying goodbye to her.
Another,
E: Bella, I love you, please.
Another,
E: Oh, god, Bella, I can't lose you.
I turn my phone off.
I sink into a hot bath with nothing but visions of them. His eyes looking into her eyes. Their hands touching. She said she was going to get him back. I really didn't think it was possible that I could lose him, but I have been wrong before.
After I take a soak, after crying more than I ever thought possible, after thinking about what in the hell could have happened, I decide to call my dad.
"Hey dad."
"Hey, Bells. What's wrong?" He asks, knowing immediately from the tone of my voice something is up.
"Can I come home for a little while?" I say under masked excitement.
"Tell me when to pick you up." He says.
"I will see if I can get a flight out tomorrow. I will call you with the times, okay?"
"What's going on Bells?" He asks.
"Dad, I really don't want to talk about it just now, okay? I just need to be alone inside my own head and I need my daddy, okay?" I ask ready to cry again.
"Sure thing, honey. Call me as soon as you know and I'll be there. I'll have Sue get your room ready."
"Thanks, dad. See you tomorrow."
I hurry out of the tub and get online booking my flight out of San Francisco to Seattle, leaving at 9:00 in the morning. I book a one way ticket.
I start packing my two largest suitcases, throwing in everything I will need for an extended stay. I also pack my school books so I can study to get caught up. Since school doesn't start until May, I have plenty of time to study.
I sit down to write an email to Rosalie and Alice.
TO: Rhale and Aliceinwonderland
FROM: Bswan
DATE: January 31, 2012
Alice and Rosalie,
I just wanted to touch base with you to let you know what is going on.
I'm going to Seattle to visit Charlie for a while and don't know when I will be back. I don't' want you to worry about me because physically, I am fine. Mentally, I'm pretty fucked up right now. I fly out first thing in the morning.
I do not want you to tell Edward. I don't know if he will even want to know or care where I am, but I'm asking you, please. Let this die.
I need to be on familiar ground and away from it all… away from him.
I don't start school until May and I need this time to get my shit together before then.
I'm getting good at this being dumped thing so I know what I need to do to get my head back in the game. Trust me, I won't crash like I did with Jacob.
I will call you both when I can.
Remember, I love you both. You will always be my girls.
Isabella
I hit send. I am on autopilot. I feel it. I am shutting down. My wall is firmly in place, my bags are packed, I set my alarm and I try to sleep the best I can without a pill. I don't need to start that again. I took so many sleeping pills to sleep when I left Jacob, I am not doing it this time. Surprisingly, sleep found me quickly and I slept, dream free, until 6:00 a.m.
Still on autopilot, I get up, make my bed, take a shower, get dressed, call my dad, print my boarding pass, eat breakfast, and hop in a cab to the airport.
See, Bella, you can do it. Piece of cake.
While I sit in the waiting area to board, I decide I better check my voicemail. I'm sure it's full by now. The first one is from Edward… delete... second one is from Edward… delete, and I repeat this for 27 messages.
Now for my texts. I read them… my first mistake.
E: Bella, I can't live without you, please, baby, don't do this.
Delete.
E: Bella, I can explain what you saw. Please you need to let me explain.
Delete.
E: I LOVE YOU DAMMIT.
Delete.
Delete.
Delete.
R: Bella. You have to stop this. You can't leave. I spoke to him and he was saying goodbye to her. She is leaving the country and they made up as friends. That's what you saw. She is leaving for London tomorrow.
B: He already said goodbye to her 3 years ago. She said she wanted him back and that didn't look like a farewell meeting to me. Rose, I asked you to let this die. I need you to help me let this die. Please. Be my friend.
Send.
R: Bella. He's sick. His mom is ready to take him to the hospital. He's nearly catatonic, Bella.
B: Fuck. Tell him I love him. Tell him if he loves me he won't do this.
R: Can you tell him? Bella, you should see him. I'm scared for him. His mom said it is worse this time than with Leah. She said he nearly died then…Bella please.
I call Rosalie. This doesn't sound good. I can't risk his health when I can do something about it.
"Rosalie. It's me."
"Oh thank god, Bella. You need to get here right now."
"I am at the airport ready to board in five minutes. Let me talk to him." I say
"Edward? Edward. Bella's on the phone. She wants to talk to you sweetie." I hear her say to him softly.
"Bella?" His voice is small and very faint.
"Edward, it's me. Bella."
"Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He says over and over.
"Edward, listen. I'm at the airport ready to board and I can't talk long."
"BELLA, NO. DON'T GO." He shouts. "BELLA? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
Oh fuck!
"Edward, listen. Listen to me. I'm going to my dad's. I will call you when I land. I promise."
"Bella! Don't you fucking leave me goddammit." He cries.
"Edward, listen. My plane is boarding. I will call you when I get off the plane. I promise but you need to promise me something in return."
"What?" He says is a small voice.
"You need to get your shit together. You can't go and disappear. Your family needs you. Volturi needs you. Your employees need you." I say.
"Do you need me, Bella?" He had to ask that.
"I love you, Edward. I don't know what else to say. I will call you when I get off the plane, but if I hear that you have slipped away again like that I won't call you anymore. You need to stop that. You are stronger than that and don't let some wimpy girl like me take you down."
"Bella, I can't lose you. I need to tell you what happened." He pleads.
"I know what happened. You were saying goodbye and she's moving to London."
"Yes, that's exactly what happened, so why are you leaving? Where are you going?" He asks again.
"I'm staying with my dad for a while. I need to clear my head of this mess. Edward, I need to get on the plane."
"No, you don't Bella! You need to be here with me goddammit!"
"I will call you as soon as I land, I promise." I have to hang up because I know he would have kept me on the phone forever if he could have.
My heart breaks all over again. I board the plane, find my seat, pull out my iPod, close my eyes and listen to my music until we land.
Once I was on my way to the baggage claim, I stop to find a seat and call Edward. His mother answers.
"Bella? This is Esme. You promised you would never leave my son!" She says, heatedly. "You promised Carlisle and I that you loved him and that you would never leave him." She repeats.
"Esme, with all due respect, this is between Edward and me. But you might want to ask your son about what he was doing in a quaint little restaurant making eyes at another woman while holding her hand. Just days after he vowed that he loathed her. Just days after she said that she was going to get him back. You put two and fucking two together Esme and see what you come up with!" And with that, I hang up.
I want to do this on my own with no outside interference. I want to mourn the loss of a loved one. I want to regroup and accept the fact that he didn't love me as much as I thought he did. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. My new mantra.
I get up and head toward baggage claim and my dad is there waiting for me, my bags in hand, recognizing the pink snake skin he bought for me when I went away to college.
He stands there watching me walk toward him and the closer I get the wider his arms get and the weepier I get. Once I am fully ensconced in my daddy's arms, I can't hold it back and I let the gates open.
"Baby, what in the world… ?" He asks.
"Dad, let's just say that Edward and I aren't together anymore and leave it at that. No questions, okay? I just need your support right now and allow me to get through this the best I can, okay. I promise I won't allow myself to sink into the hole I fell in when I left Jacob, okay?" He nods his head and each of us takes a suitcase and we roll ourselves out to his police cruiser.
"Oh for Christ's sake, dad! Couldn't you have brought the truck or something?" I say looking at him with wide eyes.
"Sue has it to get the stuff we need to get your room ready. We didn't have much notice Bells." He answers.
Okay, I have to give him that one. I climb in the front seat and we head home. My temporary home for a while anyway.
I feel my phone buzz the entire time and once we pull into the driveway, I walk around to the back of the house and sit on the swing and answer Edward's call.
"Hello."
"Bella?"
"That's me." I say sarcastically, regretting it immediately. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it that way. I am just not in a very good mood right now."
"Mom said she talked to you. She says she's sorry. She didn't mean to upset you and after thinking about what you said, she can see why you are upset."
"Yeah well, tell her I'm sorry for snapping. I am really trying to keep it together without going all uber bitch on everyone." I say, trying to keep my act together. I do not want to be the person I was in Tahoe and most importantly the person I was after Jacob.
"Bella?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry I hurt you. But we need to address what you are hurting over." He says quietly.
"Alright." I agree. I guess it won't hurt to get it all out there.
"Okay, good. Who starts first?" He asks.
"I will. I think it's the shortest distance to the point." I answer feeling nervous and not wanting to cry or yell.
"Okay, talk to me baby. I want to fix this. You aren't within driving distance anymore and I don't like that. I feel you are never coming back."
"As you probably know by now, the girls and I drove to Napa to surprise you guys and we stopped at Mama's for lunch. I felt close to that restaurant since you took me there." I reminded him.
"Yes, I remember, baby."
"I saw you and Leah sitting at that cozy little table for two and you were gleaming, Edward!" I can't keep from crying anymore. "You were happy. I saw it, Edward. I saw you smiling at her and you were holding her hand. It made me physically ill. It still does."
"Oh, Bella. I am so sorry. Fuck! I wish I could hold you."
"Edward, do you remember in Tahoe when you told me that you never wanted another man to touch me?"
"Y… yes." He says, obviously concerned where I am going with this.
"Did that only apply to me and you were allowed to touch other women?" I can feel my heart clench at my own words.
"Oh, fuck, Bella. I am so sorry."
"Is that it? You are sorry? Well, if that's it then, it was good talking to you Edward. I need to go clean up my fucked up life right now." I say sarcastically.
"No, Bella, that's not it. I am just sorry that you saw that. I'm sorry that I did that. I'm sorry that I know her. But I'm not sorry that I love you. I'm not sorry for knowing you. I love you so much Bella."
"I need to go, Edward. I'm at my dad's and he's waiting for me inside. I'm glad you are feeling better. Don't do that anymore alright. You are better than that. Don't allow yourself to get into that state again." I say standing, heading toward the front door.
"Bella, don't go… please. I can't hang up not knowing if we are okay or not."
"I am going to try to… to… Edward, I think you still love her. I think you were hurt yes, but at the time you were hurt by her, you were very much in love with her. Enough to marry her. She wants you back and I think you should explore that. By the look on your face when I saw you two together, I don't think you are completely over her and I can't be around to watch that happen. I can't."
I hear his sharp intake of breath and know I need to hang up while I still have my resolve.
"Goodbye Edward." I say before hanging up.
A/N: Okay, tell me how you really feel. I don't like spoilers, but there is a reason for the madness! See the little box down there…? Fill it in and hit send. Dishie