Rating: M
A/N…Dear Lovinrob and amandac3, thank you for all you do and thank you for making this a better story.
Dear Readers, I hope I redeem myself with this chapter and thanks for sticking out their very brief split. Ironic isn't it?
Welcome back runt. Now read my f'ng chapters or I will release the picture you sent me tonight.
CHAPTER 34
Edward
Did she just say goodbye? Goodbye Edward?
"Edward? Edward, dear. What is it?" I hear my mom's voice but I don't know what she is saying.
"She said goodbye, mom." I feel my eyes fill again.
"Oh, Edward." She says as she strokes my hair from my eyes.
"Goodbye, Edward." I repeat. I fall back onto my bed and cover my eyes with my arm.
God, this pain in my chest. How can I feel this much pain when I am completely numb?
"Everyone leave please. Please." I ask. "Hurry."
I hear everyone leave and shut door and that's when I take my pillow to cover my face and it comes. I can't hold back anymore.
"Oh God… Bella." And I let it come. I sob like a baby.
~BD~
"How long have I been like this?" I ask Rebecca who is placing a sandwich and tea next to my bed.
"Nine days, Edward." She answers.
Nine days. A vegetable for nine days. I don't even remember those days.
How I hate you Leah.
I get out of bed to take a much needed piss and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Oh fuck. Nine days worth of growth, my hair is a matted mess and I fucking stink.
After I use the bathroom, I turn on the shower and go get my cup of tea. I take a few sips and as I place it on the vanity counter I see her hairbrush laying there. What is it doing there? Why is it not in her bathroom?
Her bathroom.
I turn off the shower and go to her bathroom. There it is. All her stuff. Her bath salts, perfumes, makeup, toothbrush and hair clips. I walk to her closet and find her gown from the dinner. I pick up the sweater she had on just days before she left and I can still smell her on it. I take it and place it under my pillow before I jump in the shower.
As much as I try, I can't wash her out of my mind or out of my heart. She's all around me here. I feel myself lean against the wall for support and I feel the tears come again.
I loved her. Didn't she know that? Didn't she see that? How easy it was for her to leave. She didn't care if I had an explanation or not, she wanted to believe what she wanted and she would not hear me out. Maybe she didn't love me as much I had thought.
I have to take scissors and cut my long beard before I can shave. That's pathetic. I feel better once I shave and brush my teeth. I take her hair brush and put it in her bathroom. I pull her sweater out from under my pillow, take one last smell of her and place it back in the closet and make a phone call.
"Alice? Hey, it's Edward." I start. "Are you in Napa? Good. Hey, will come to my place sometime and pack up Bella's stuff and take it home to her? I'm sure she will need it. Ok. Thanks." That's done. Now on to the next item on my list.
I turn on my computer and select "Cullen Family" from my group email list.
Hey everyone. I have decided to take some time away for a bit. I know this places an undue burden on you, brothers, but it is necessary. I will be in contact with you every day and I will only be a phone call away. There is email and Skype as well.
The rest you can handle on your own. I have faith in you both. I will still be around, just not in the office.
Mom, dad, I am going to the condo for a while. I am not in a good place right now, but I am already getting better, I need just a little more time.
I apologize, yet again, for putting you all through this for a second time. Trust me, this will not happen a third time. There will not be a third time.
I loved her. I love her still. I just need some time to regroup. I will be leaving this afternoon so if you need anything, please let me know before then.
I love you all.
Edward
I check my emails to see if I have any responses from Bella. None. I guess that should tell me a lot. It's been nearly two weeks and she hasn't written me back nor returned my calls. That says it all.
A few short hours later, I am on the road back to Lake Tahoe. It's amazing how many Tahoe SUV's there are out there. Four hours of quiet in the car can leave one's mind to wander. I decide to put on some music. And of course nearly every song reminds me of her. I put in a CD I had made of my music and of course that reminds me of that beautiful night on my piano. I need a distraction.
"Hi Jasper. Anything new on the 1908 report?" I ask. I knew that work would take my mind off of her.
"Yeah, I've been working with Ben. We are getting close and it is almost a certainty that it was her. We can pinpoint when the report was breached to the video of her arrival in the office when no one was here. I just don't want to take this information as gospel yet. Just give us a week, tops and we will have a definitive answer for you." Jasper reports.
"Great work, Jazz. You are the best." I compliment him.
"How are you doing, Edward?" He asks.
"Well, you know. As well as can be expected. I will survive. I'm already better today than I was at this stage with Leah. I guess I'm getting good at this shit." I say.
"Well then you are doing better than she is."
"What? What do you mean?" I sit up straighter in the driver's seat.
"From what I hear, she's a wreck. Alice says that she won't even write emails. She texts them every once in a while to let them know she's still alive, but other than that, Bella has been quiet. Rosalie called Charlie, Bella's father, to check up on her."
"Well? What did Rose say?" I ask getting excited at the first news I've had of her since this thing started.
"She said that he's worried about her. She barely functions. She's nonproductive and doesn't come out of her room." He goes on.
"Okay, thanks, Jazz. Thanks for the info on the 1908 report. Keep me informed would you? I will talk to you soon." I say as I hang up my cell.
I can't allow myself to think that she misses me or that she still loves me. I hate that she has sequestered herself inside her father's home but I have faith that she will bounce back and once school starts she will find someone that she will be happy with. That thought turns my stomach and I try to think of other things instead.
After a lengthy four hour drive, I finally pull into the garage of the condo and grab the one bag I brought with me and head inside. I call Kathy, my housekeeper, and ask her to meet me so she can help me while I am here. Once she arrives we discuss groceries, housekeeping and whatever else I will need for an extended stay. I am all set.
I decide to go see Sam and when I open the door the all too familiar squeak lifts his head from the book he is reading.
"I'll be fucking damned." He yells and jumps over the bar to man-hug me. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you left with the lovely Bella." He says.
"Well, I did leave with the lovely Bella and now I'm back without her." I say. "Give me a Chivas, will ya?"
"You bet, Eddie." Sam says as he turns to grab a glass and the bottle.
"What brings you back so soon? I didn't think I'd see you at least until next season."
"Well, some things happened and I needed to get away and this seemed like as good a place as any." I answer, not wanting to delve into the details.
"Well, it's good to see you anyway, Eddie." He says, pouring me another shot.
I look around the bar and there are a few ladies here who are eye fucking me as usual. I turn around and look back at my drink, pound it down and then look back at the girls. They giggle and that fucking shit right there turns me off.
"Hey, I'm having a party at my place a week from Saturday night. Why don't you stop by? Only class acts there, none of this little girl shit. What do you say?" Sam asks.
"Yeah, I just might do that. I need a good distraction." I reply.
The thought of me being with another woman intimately turns me the fuck off but I just might be able to pull it off. I need to get her out of my system one way or another and that might do the trick. She doesn't want me anymore so I might as well move on too, starting now.
Thank god I live only a few buildings from Sam's because there is no way I could drive home in my condition. I say my good night to Sam when a pretty little thing with long brown hair and brown eyes saunters up to the bar and asks if I need help getting home. But as soon as I look into those brown eyes, my efforts to forget come flooding back.
"No thanks. I got it." I say rudely. Too rudely but I don't give a shit. God damn you, Bella!
As soon as I get home I go straight to my computer to write her an email and give her a piece of my mind. To tell her she can go to hell for not trusting me; for thinking the worst of me. I'll show her. Nothing like a little drunk texting to bring her to her senses.
Bella,
It's been 11 days since you left me and it hurts the same today
as it did on that first day.
Edward.
Yeah, pussy, that will teach her!
I decide the party at Sam's is just what I need since Bella didn't respond to my email. Clearly she has moved on and she doesn't want any distraction from me. I will do my best, Bella.
I shower and and leave my two days growth and go to my closet to pick out something to wear and decide on a pair of black jeans and a long sleeve black V-neck t-shirt. I push the sleeves up to my elblows and remember that Bella thought I looked sexy in this outfit, so maybe it might do the trick for me tonight. I scold myself for thinking like that.
Fuck that, Edward! You are a single man.
I pull up to Sam's house and inwardly admire it. I have always liked his place. It's big and perfect for parties like this. With two floors of over 2,400 sq. ft. each, you can find a nice corner to hide in easily. I walk in the front door and spot Sam right away and he waves me over. As I walk through the first rooms, I look around and see several lovelies that are also seeing me. I spot one beautiful strawberry blonde that makes eye contact with me and smiles. I return it and move on to Sam.
"Hey handsome." Sam says, chuckling.
"Fuck you, Sam." I say taking a beer from him and quenching my thirst with it.
"Foods in the dining room, buffet style, if you want anything. See anything else on the menu you want to meet?" He asks.
"Mmm. Not really." I say looking back at the blonde.
"That's Irina. She is a real estate developer in South Shore. She's also a guest in my home. She will be here through Monday." He says, chuckling and nudging my shoulder. "Just sayin'."
"Hey, Sam." Irina says behind me. I nearly spew my beer over Sam's face hearing her so close behind me.
"Hello, beautiful. Irina, this is my good friend, Edward. Edward, this is Irina. Irina owns Gateway Development, Eddie owns Volturi Wineries." Sam is very thorough with his introductions and I take her outstretched hand.
"Nice to meet you, Edward." She says in a very sultry voice.
"Same here." I reply.
"Volturi, didn't you take the International award this year?" She surprises me with that piece of information. It shocks me actually.
"Yes. It did. My private reserve Pandora took the award. I'm impressed Irina." I say taking a hit off my beer, looking at her over the bottle.
"What are you doing here, so far from Napa?" She asks, running her middle finger along the rim of her wine glass.
"I have a condo at Squaw and needed a break, so I came here to get away for a bit." I explain. I can smell her perfume. A little more on the sweet side for my liking but it's manageable.
"I live on the Nevada side of the Lake, maybe you would like to come to a party I am having in a few weeks if you're still around. You are welcome to stay in one of my guest rooms." She offers. Hmmm, I might take you up on that.
"I have a house at Stateline so that's not a problem." I say looking at her. I can't believe where my mind is going right now. I look down and notice the nice cleavage she is showing. I feel a small twitch in my jeans.
Irina and I walk over to a sitting area and just talk. Talk about Lake Tahoe, skiing, Napa and politics. She is a very pleasant woman and totally fuckable for sure. But when my mind actually visualizes what I could do to her, I can't. I can't get past Bella. How would I feel if I knew she was fucking another man? It would do me in. It would break me. I am not ready to hurt her like that.
I get up and thank Irina for the conversation and look for Sam.
"Hey Sam, I'm heading out. Thanks for the invite. I'll stop by your place in a few days, alright?" I say shaking his hand and I turn to leave.
"Leaving so soon?" Irina says. "Don't go." She says, putting her hand on my arm. "I am staying here tonight." She says whispering in my ear.
"Not tonight, Irina." I say. I cringe at the thought of even leading her to believe there would be another night. "Not ever, Irina." I say as I turn and leave.
~BD~
After three weeks of nothing but quiet, I believe my recipe for my new reserve is complete. Something that Bella inspired. Something that she said once when we toured the vineyard so I thought I would test it and it seems to be working. I will submit it to my brothers when I return. I am anxious to see how it turns out.
As promised in my speech at the dinner, I hire two women as my testers. So that makes three women and two men in our tester department. This is progress and I have Bella to thank for that.
A call on my cell brings me out of my thoughts.
"Cullen." I answer.
"Hey Eddie, it's Sam."
"Hey, Sam. How's it going?" I ask. It's unusual that he would call my cell but not all together a shock.
"I'm about ready to leave the bar and I was wondering if you'd like to go on a ride with me. I have an extra Harley you can borrow."
"No shit, Sam?"
"No shit." He replies.
"When? I'll be right down." I am fucking excited. A long ride around the lake would be just what I need.
"Meet me here as soon as you can. I'll wait." He says. "I just need to check in with my bartender and I'll meet you at my car."
We hang up and I run upstairs and change into something warmer, choosing to layer my shirts and grab my leather jacket out of my closet. I put on my Docs, grab whatever else I need and run down the stairs over to Sam's Place. He's waiting for me so I jump in his car and we are off. I am looking forward to a ride. Why didn't I think about that?
"So, what happened with you and Irina the other night? She was disappointed." Sam says looking in my direction.
"Bella. That's what happened." I reply. "She's still it for me and until she's not, there won't be any Irina's."
"Understood." He says. I know he won't try to hook me up again until I tell him I'm ready. That's one thing I like about Sam.
We pull into Sam's garage and he puts me on a Sportster. Perfect. I take a helmet from a hook on the wall and place it on the seat.
"I was thinking about a ride around the Lake. Or we can head down the mountain to Reno if you want." The thought of Reno brings back memories of Riley and Bella comes flooding back.
Fuck, will that ever stop?
"Let's do the Lake. It will be colder but I think I can handle it." I suggest.
"I have an extra pair of chaps. Let me get them for you. That will keep your dick from falling off from the cold or from the lack of use." He laughs as he runs into the house coming back with a pair that I slip on over my jeans.
Once we are dressed in our leathers we are ready to head out. We are walking around in the garage and the driveway when a car full of girls drives by and honks, then turns around for a second look.
"Nice chaps on that ass." They yell to me.
All they see is black leather chaps, black leather jacket and a black Bell helmet. I could be a parasite under this and they wouldn't know. They just see black leather. I wave them off and lift my leg over the bike and fire it up. We take off toward Tahoe City. I cringe. My heart beats harder and my breathing becomes labored.
Fuck, will I ever get over this?
We ride a bit before we stop for a bite to eat and as usual, the girls are everywhere.
"How do you do it man?" Sam asks.
"Do what?"
"Not notice all the women you attract. Are you not even aware of the fucking women you have after you?" He exclaims. "Every fucking place we've been, you have had the girls practically spreading their pussy in front of you."
"Not going to happen." I say smiling to myself.
"She must be pretty fucking special for you to shut out the rest."
I sit up straight on my seat and look at him.
"She is pretty fucking special." I say as I fire the bike up and take off.
After about an hour of riding, Sam pulls off on a vista point that overlooks the lake. I know immediately that Bella would love this spot. We take off our helmets and lean on the seats of our bikes.
"Tell me about her." He asks.
So I do. I tell him how we met, how I fell in love with her, how she makes my body feel when I make love to her. I even tell him about the piano. And then I tell him about the split.
"I'm having a hard time letting her go, Sam." I confess. "I guess I will eventually, but I know I will love her forever." I say, staring down at my boots like a pussy.
"What are you doing to get her back?"
"Nothing. She wants to be left alone and I am respecting that." I answer.
"Fuck that shit, Eddie. If you are in love with her go get her fucking ass and make it yours again." I jerk my head up and look at him.
What?
"Fuck you respecting what she wants. I bet you that motorcycle right there that she wants you to go after her. She will never tell you that openly of course, but mark my words, she won't refuse you if you force her hand." Again I just stare at him, mulling over what he's said to me. His logic actually makes a lot of sense.
"Sam. Why didn't I fucking think of that?" I say, sounding like an idiot.
"I don't have a fucking clue, bro. Let's ride shall we?"
And for the first time in a month, I smile and actually feel happy inside again. I'm going to go get my girl back and if she doesn't want me then I will by God know it and there will be no more of this pussy footing around about it anymore.
We finish our ride around the Lake and I couldn't feel any more alive than I do right now. I decide that since tomorrow is Saturday, I will leave in the morning. I don't want to tell my family because I want to surprise them. My mom in particular. I love surprising her. She's so animated. It pleases me.
After we get back to Sam's we sit in the garage and have a few beers before he takes me back to the condo.
"Sam, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed today. It is exactly what I needed. I'm leaving in the morning and going to get my girl back." We both look at each other and laugh.
"You better bring her by my place and introduce her fucker." He says before we shake hands goodbye.
"Let's hope I get the opportunity." I say in reply and hit the top of his car before he drives off.
I run up the stairs to my condo and make the arrangements to close the place up. I check my email and there is a message from Bella.
I begin to shake and sweat beads on my forehead. She is replying to an email I sent her several weeks ago.
Dear Edward,
Thank you for your email. I am doing alright, thank you. Hope you are as well.
I am sorry I did not respond when you sent the flowers.
It was rude of me, but they were beautiful.
Thank you again.
Isabella
It's a start.
I pack my bag with what little I brought with me, grab a bite to eat and watch a movie before heading upstairs for bed. I decide to leave around 7:00 which would get me home around 11:00. Maybe I can have lunch with the family. I'd like that. I've really missed them.
I pull my phone out of my pocket to set my alarm when I see I have missed a call. I wonder who that is, I don't recognize the number. Fuck, I hope it's not Irina and double fuck if Sam gave her my number.
I listen to the voicemail.
"Hello, Edward, this is Jack at Cart Renovations. I wanted to let you know that your custom pink Hummer has been delivered to your home as you requested. Take a look at it and if you have any questions please give me a call. You did a good job on this one Edward. All the ladies in the shop fell in love with it. Give me a call."
Fuck! The golf cart. Shit maybe Emmett or Jasper might want to give it to Alice or Rosalie.
I set my alarm and turn out the lights and thank God sleep comes easy because the next thing I know the alarm goes off and I'm out of bed and in the shower. I want to get on the road. I smile at the thought of seeing her again. I don't know how or when but I know I'm going to see her whether she wants to or not. She will listen to me, dammit.
~BD~
It feels good to see the vineyard as I round the road toward home. I pass my parents and pull down my lane and open the gates. As I am driving under the canopy, I see Billy walking across the courtyard and he smiles and waves. I open the garage and pull in and see the pink cart with the 'Bella' license plate. They added that special and I will have to thank them for it.
"Welcome home, boss." Billy says coming up to shake my hand. "Nice little addition to the collection, eh." He says pointing at the cart.
"Yeah, I was going to surprise her with it." I say.
"Well, maybe you still can." He says pointedly.
"What do you mean, Billy?" I ask giving him a quizzical look.
"She's over at the house."
I about hit my knees.
"B... Bella's here. Right now? At m… moms?" I stammer.
"Yep. They are having a BBQ for your dad's birthday." He says.
I start to pace back and forth, running my hands through my hair. What do I do with that information?
Fuck.
I look over at the cart and an idea strikes me. I jump in the cart and drive it over to my parents and park it next to Bella's BMW. She will know it's for her and she will know I gave it to her. After I park it, I walk back to my place. I pace back and forth some more. I know where she is but I don't want to do this here. Not in front of my family. I decide to go for a walk and I have no clue where I am going but I just start walking. I walk down my lane to the main road and then I find myself walking up my parent's lane toward their house when I see her car barreling down in my direction. I stand there in the middle of the road. She sees me and hits the brakes stopping about five yards from me.
Fuck, she looks beautiful. She cut her hair. It looks good on her. She just stares at me. I will her to get out of the car.
Please, Bella, get out of the car. Please. Come to me.
Oh, God. She's opening the door. Thank god.
She's getting out. Christ, she looks beautiful.
She stands there for a minute. Then she moves. Wait, she's moving.
"Stop, Bella." I say holding up my hand. "Don't take another step if you don't want me to touch you." My heart is about to beat out of my chest. "Because I really need to touch you, Bella." I can barely breathe as I watch her stand there… not moving.
She's not moving. Wait! I see her take that first little step in my direction. She walks slow and then picks up her pace until she's running to me.
"Oh, God, Bella." Is all I can say when she runs into my arms and I hold her and squeeze her to me, vowing never to let go.
A/N: Awwwwwwe. Bella and Edward back together again. Next chapter is really, really tangy if you know what I mean. Do y'all love me again? I sure hope so.