Saturday Morning
Sam
After a hearty breakfast and some great conversation, I worried about overstaying my welcome. I looked down at my left wrist, thinking I had a watch on to check the time. Thinking a little harder, I realised it was on Maude's bedside table.
"Hey Maude, thanks for the great breaky, but I think it's probably time for me to get going." I called from the table.
"Going so soon?" Her voice was high pitched and rushed, almost a combination of both panic and disappointment. She whipped around to face me, the t-shirt I left at her place from last time spinning around with her like an oversized dress. She took a second to compose herself before reverting back to normal Maudeness.
"You're not bothering me, you could stay all weekend if you wanted to Sam."
"That wouldn't be fair, plus you've already kept me this long. You've let me stay and your place and made me breakfast, I owe you one." I said standing up, taking my large empty plate to the sink and rinsing it off before placing both mine and Maude's into her dishwasher. My shirt was wrinkled and messy, the result of throwing it into a pile on the floor last night. Zelda jumped at my ankles enthusiastically as I stretched and yawned, breaking into the morning spirit.
I began to gather my belongings back to me, a task more easily said than done. Whenever I was with Maude, clothes always seemed to go flying. It was like I was playing hide and go seek with my left sock.
"You don't owe me one at all, we're even from the dinner." She tried to argue.
"Babe, I owe you one." My tone came across a little more assertive than I expected, almost a growl coming through. She looked at the ground and turned her foot in circles as her cheeks shot up in Crimson and her eyebrows being raised in surprise. She smiled widely and muttered out the words, "Okay bunny."
"What're you doing next weekend?"
Maude
So it was decided. I closed the door as he left my apartment, setting a reminder on my phone for next Sunday. He promised to take me out on a little romantic stroll, even if all he said was:
"Would you like to take Zelda and Dwight and go for a walk in my favourite park?"
I had high hopes to say the least. Zelda had been good, and she deserved a treat (she always deserved a treat, but for not attacking Sam and I in important moments and recent moments she deserved a special treat). Granted, she'd been asleep till this morning.
I walked around the flat cleaning and clearing up slightly with a newly found sway in the hips and a much bigger smile. It shrunk quickly when I realised I had got a work email for my new job. It still hadn't started yet, and the anxiety of new career feels kicked in slightly. I was always apprehensive about this move, but I was looking forward to the new challenge. Till then, more and more freelance work.
I stuck on the Daily News onto the TV and sat petting and grooming Zelda. She simply complied, a few growls coming now and then. It was surprising how much Sam's t-shirt still smelt like him, even after I may have been wearing it consecutively for a few days. We were the about the same height, me slightly shorter, but his t-shirt came down to my lower thighs. I kicked my feet back as I poured a cup of tea. Maybe I should Skype my mum.
25 Minutes Later
I definitely should not have Skyped my mum.
"When are you bringing him home?" She asked excitedly.
"Woah, we aren't even dating and it's a long flight mum."
"Well, why are you wearing his clothes then?"
I refused to make eye contact with the camera as I could hear her umming and ahhing. I even heard a few mmmmhmmmmmm's.
"He's a lot younger than me."
"That doesn't bother any of us. Especially not you." She said, lifting a single eyebrow.
She then went on to give me some very not PG tips and a lot of explicit advice. At the end of the call I was as red as a tomato and I was seconds away from slamming my laptop lid down, changing my name and moving to Mexico.
Actually, saying that, I wouldn't even really have to move. Or change my name. I'm half way across the planet. I didn't even have to slam the lid, I could just tap and end the call right now.
"Just remember Flossy -"
"Safety first?"
"No, always have a clear safe word."
"Bye mum." I said, hanging up the call. Evil woman.
My mug was still about half full and steaming. I brought it up to my face to feel the heat rush over my cheeks. I contemplated what she said though; how did I make this official? Did Sam think we were just messing about or was he really interested in me? For every step closer I got to him, I felt like I was taking two more - but in complete darkness. Poor him though, meeting my brothers was gonna be a nightmare. In some countries they were legally classed as giants, and if he managed to piss me off in the process of meeting them, they would not be friendly. On the other hand, if I was in a good mood, they would probably try and piss me off. That would be a fun family dinner.
I tapped the side of the mug with my fingers in a rhythmic pattern, releasing a deep breath.
Sam
The week, quite honestly, flew by. I had settled into a routine that no longer dragged on, and I now had something to look forward to at the end of the work week. On Sunday, I recorded my podcast, and wrapped it up pretty quickly. "Hey DJ, I'm just gonna tidy up around the office so if you wanna head home I'll lock up."
"Cool man, I'll see you tomorrow." He tipped his head to me as he headed towards the exit. I was going through my drawers slowly, trying to remember when I had collected so much junk.
A cat paw, some stickers, toy soldiers were among the few that I organised into a box, until I reached in and pulled out a little Lego storm trooper. An 'M' was tinily scribbled onto the back. I held the little guy between my finger and my thumb. "She's never really left this office, has she?" I said, speaking to myself. For a moment I thought I heard an answer. The office tended to... make noises, when it was empty. Usually you could attribute it to another set or something falling, but it was almost like the place had attitude when it was you and it alone. The roof squeaked, almost in a sad noise, before something high pitched grinded as to portray hopefulness.
"I'm going fucking crazy." I said to myself. I swear I could hear the studio agree with me.
I left soon after, getting slightly creeped out. I locked the door behind me and headed home.
Filming for the week went fine. Well, as fine as Sam Bashor can say his lines without creating a 40 minute reel of bloopers.
Saturday was a quiet night in, catching up on my favourite TV shows. I told Maude I'd be picking her up for 6 o'clock, and everything seemed to be confirmed. I checked the weather and the sun was supposed to be shining brightly.
The day rolled around and I got ready. I packed a picnic basket and a cooler box, a table cloth and fairy lights. I had this date planned since I was 16. I got cooking. A lovely rare piece of meat packaged nicely. I did everything to the highest standard, packaged it all away with the cutlery and other picknicky essentials.
I got dressed. I wore a light blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a pair of white shorts and some brown and blue boat shoes. I felt I was dressed up for a yacht party for middle aged men, but it was comfy and I thought I looked good. I popped in contact lenses and slipped a pair of Raybans over them, grabbed my watch, and headed out the door.
I was about halfway down the flight of stairs when I realised I'd forgotten Dwight. Damn dog, always sleeping.
Maude
Sam was 7 minutes late. I tapped my foot anxiously in front of the mirror assessing my outfit. I had a black pair of sunglasses propped on my head, a cute floral sundress and a pair of matching sandals. Good. I looked good. I gave the mirror a little twirl, boob adjustment, and checked Zelda's lead. She had a fluorescent pink collar attached to an equally pink lead and a shiny new name tag to boot. My dog and I rocked.
I heard Sam knock on the door.
"Hey Sam!" Big hugs all around.
All around me that is. He smelt amazing, again.
"You can stop sniffing me now Maude, you can just borrow my aftershave." I took a comically large whiff at him. Zelda yipped happily around our feet as she waited to leave.
"Come on, I left Dwight in the car for a minute while I come up here and he's always whiny." Good thing Sam rushed me, because half a second late and he wouldn't have stopped some Douche with an Animal Rights hat and a crowbar from breaking his window.
"This windows down and I literally parked here 3 minutes ago! My dog is fine. He's fine."
"Don't gender stereotype dogs dude. They can't tell you their preference." The guy walked off scoffing to himself about white cis males, while he himself was a white cis male, topped with dreadlocks.
"Come on, let's get going before any more loonies show up." His tone was exasperated. He must experience a lot of things like that in LA. I helped Zelda into the boot with Dwight, and they seemed to be getting on fine. There was some water and kibble in a little pouch installed on the trunk door that they could use on the trip.
"How long's the drive?"
"Forty minutes. With this traffic...Fifty. With me breaking the law? Thirty."
"Good enough for me. Anyway, about borrowing your cologne..."
The conversation delved deeper and deeper until he started slowing down and pulled into the park. "Is this the place?" He nodded.
He parked on a gravel driveway as he got out and let the dogs out. He hooked them up to a double lead and handed them to me, while he rummaged for something in the backseat. He dug into the boot and pulled out two tennis balls, one for each of them. Dwight was excited, he'd clearly been here before, and Zelda just seemed to share his enthusiasm.
It was here that I truly learnt to admire the scenery; the sky was crystal clear and reflected off of a small but quick running stream, that held blue water and shallow rocks. Small bushes surrounded them and led onto a gorgeous meadow, and further into the background leading to an apple or peach orchard and rolling hills lined the background. A white picket fence lined one side of the path and small signs about hospitality in the park were planted here and there. I gasped inwardly and the beauty, and the fact the park was empty and quiet apart from a few colourful birds chirping away in the trees meant me and Sam had the evening together alone.
I awoke from my day dream when Sam emerged with a picnic basket and a cooler, one looking heavier than the other, as well as a backpack presumably full of doggie supplies thrown over his shoulder. "Do you mind watching the dogs for a few seconds? Let them run around in the meadow, I'll be right back."
He held the brown gate which led the entrance to the park open for me with his bum, as I let Zelda and Dwight off the lead and Sam waddled off, limping slightly under the weight.
I watched the two pups as they ran and danced and played and rolled and had the best time of their puppy lives in the lush green grass for a few minutes, getting lost in thought. I threw the balls for them to chase, periodically as they came back. The saliva was pretty gross, but I'd done it before and learnt to deal with it.
Sam came back a few minutes later. "Wear this." He said, handing me a blindfold.
"If you chuck me in this stream I'm gonna kill you." I warned him. We walked for what seemed like a century. The dogs followed us, barking every so often as I could hear them play. Sam stopped me suddenly and took my hand in his.
"You could say this is a blind date." I laughed hilariously loud at my own pun.
"Take it off." Sam said softly.
"Aren't you gonna buy me dinner first?" I bit my tongue, muting my giggling.
"I already did, and I'm talking about the blindfold." With one hand, I pulled the fabric off my eyes, momentarily getting used to the light. "Ta-da." Sam said optimistically, holding his hand out if promoting a new product.
My jaw dropped in awe to where he had taken me. We were standing in front of a mahogany park bench, which had been covered in a white-red table cloth. On the table lay plates and cutlery, and many other types of nibbles and picnic food, with a large silver dish covered like when they presented you with room service. Above the bench was a beautifully aged willow tree, big leaves swaying with the wind.
The floor underneath had a picnic blanket with doggy food set up, Zelda and Dwight already rushing over to enjoy themselves. To a few metres right the stream ran, only slightly wider and slower. The only sound was the water crashing against the rocks and Sam peered at me with a hopeful expression.
I let go of his hand to cover my mouth with both of mine. I was awestruck. "Sam." I whispered breathlessly.
"D'you like it?"
I turned to him, wrapped my arms around his neck and engulfed him in a passionate kiss. He fixed his posture and became straighter and with that one of my legs raised slightly. I separated an inch from his face. "I love it." I told him deadpan.
"It was nothing-" I cut him off.
"It was everything." I lay my head against his chest. He grinned happily
"So do you wanna eat before it gets cold?"
Sam
She eagerly agreed with me. I tried to wave off the scenario like it was nothing, but this was a long time planning and it was executed perfectly. We sat opposite to each other, chatting quietly. I lifted the dish platter.
"Is that a filet mignon?"
"Sure is," Her eyes were as wide as the platter. "Bon appetit." I said in a terrible French accent.
None the less, we got down to chowing down, making our way through the abundance of food, snacks, and drinks. I had a bottle of wine saved for later. I packed away our mess for easy access and prevented any litter from flying away.
Once we had finished, we continued chatting to each other on a volume just above whisper, as if we were trying to avoid anyone ruining the moment. I ran my thumb up and down her hand, as we watched the two dogs frolic in the meadow, tire themselves out, come back for a drink and go again.
The night wore on and the sun began to set.
"Hey come on." I tugged her hand and signalled to the ground. She got up and sat down next to me on the picnic blanket. I noticed the goose bumps on her arms and the slight shiver. I pulled a second very large blanket out of the basket, stretching one side out towards her. "I caught a fish the other day." I had already used this gag on a Table Talk, but I still thought it was pretty rad.
"Oh really." She seemed willing to humour me.
"It was about this big." I said, extending my arms from my lap to hers. "Actually no, it was this big." Putting my arm slightly wider towards her head. "No way, it was bigger." Putting my hand and the blanket I had grabbed a corner of past her. "Nah it was actually about this big." Dragging her in to the blanket and my chest as I felt her body heat against me. I didn't even know her body emitted heat as her hands were still freezing.
"But it was making a face like this!" She said exaggerating a pout up at me and pecking me on my lips. She went back to her chest position. Where saw was laying let me feel my own heartbeat, slightly accelerated than usual.
"I'm warm now, thank you." Zelda and Dwight trotted over to us, thoroughly pooped out of the day, curling up at our feet. The day continued to get darker.
"I got a nice bottle of wine and two wine glasses, as well as a pretty cool chocolate cake." I said to her. She beamed up at me gleefully.
"Yesssssss." She said as she poured a quarter glass for me (I hate driving) and a full glass for her. I cut the cake into slices. I put on a little Elvis (Bitches love Elvis, according to brotherly Bashorly wisdom) from my phone quietly, to play in the background as we chatted back and forth. Eventually it got dim enough for me to switch on the fairy lights in the tree I had set up earlier. Maude gasped at the surprise as they blew in the wind. The pale green, yellows, blues and reds among the starry sky was my view as we watched the night for God knows how long. I pointed out constellations, she called me a nerd (apparently Big Dipper is now known as the 20 Piece McNugget Box) as I pointed one at to her and told her it was now called Maude. When she asked why, I let her know the glimmer of the single curve of stars reminded me of her bright smile. I think I heard her embryo explode, but that might be me going crazy again.
"Thank you so much."
"It's all good, thank you for being here. Should we maybe get going?"
"Just give me a moment. I'm enjoying this." A comfortable silence filled the air for what seemed like an eternity. I could notice her getting sleepy and almost falling into a nap, so just before I nudged her and told her it was time to leave. We both picked ourselves up off the floor. I wrapped Zelda and Dwight individually in picnic blankets and placed them in the basket, as I pulled down the fairy lights and packed them away. The two dogs didn't even wake during the Puppy Burrito process, while Maude waited patiently for me, wearing the single table cloth around her shoulders to help with the chill.
"C'mon, the car has heated seats." She almost skipped back to the car park and got in my ride. We had an uneventful drive back, just gentle talk between the two of us. I walked her up to her apartment.
"Won't you come in?" She asked me in a faux British accent.
"Lav, I'va werk in the morn." I replied in horrible imitation.
"Fine." She shoved me playfully in the chest before leaning in and hugging me goodnight, with a kiss for the road.
As the door to the flat closed, I silently fist pumped the air, descending the stairs feeling like a champion romantic.
That's a wrap! Hope you enjoyed.
