In Mikey's dream, he was surrounded by floating pizza slices and comic books. He was right in the middle of reading his new favorite comic book "The Turtle Titan" when he heard screams. He looked up to see his family being attacked by the Shredder in the distance. He tried to get out of the chair and help them but the comic books and pizza slices suddenly started to pile on top of him and he couldn't move. The sound of metal slicing through flesh filled the air as Master Splinter was felled by the Shredder. His brothers all cried out "Master Splinter!" They fought with rage and sorrow, but eventually, they too were struck down, until all Mikey could see was the back of the Shredder standing over the bodies of his family. I don't want to be alone. The Shredder turned and began to approach him. Still, he couldn't move, couldn't even make a sound. I don't want to die either. Mikey struggled to get himself free, as the Shredder reached to take off his helmet, and revealed-

"Raph!" Mickey thrashed in his bed. Leo and Donatello could feel the heat from his fever radiating off him as they tried to keep him from reopening his wounds.

"Mikey, it's okay. It's us. Leo and Donny. You're safe now." Mikey opened his eyes to see Master Splinter, Leo, and Donatello looking at him with concern. Pain shot through his chest and shoulder when he tried to sit up, and his brothers hurried to lay him back down.

"Try that again and I'll knock you out, Mikey." A gruff voice threatened from the doorway.

"Hey Raph. How're you doing?"

"Who me? Last time I checked I wasn't the one in the bed."

"You been to the dojo lately?"

"Why you askin'?"

"No reason. I was just thinking that I would like to train in there after I heal up a bit more. It's been a while since I've taken training seriously… As in never." His whole family stared at him. "What?"

Donatello spoke up, "Mikey, you've been awake at least 30 seconds and you haven't told one joke."

"Wow, you are a genius." Donny looked hurt so Mickey said, "Sorry, that didn't come out right. I know you guys are worried but if you or Leo question me now, we'll just get in a fight, because I don't really want to talk about it." Raph punched the door.

"Well, you're gonna have to talk about this Mikey! You can't just ignore it and hope that it goes away, because it won't!"

"Talk about what? Huh, Raph? You want me to talk about how I killed you? How every time I see your face from now on I'm going to remember what I did and regret it? Or maybe you want to talk about how everything he said was true, because I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!" Mikey coughed and wheezed like he had just run a mile.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU!"

"Raph, stop." Leo warned. Mikey looked up at Raph defiantly, and waited for him to finish.

"YOU THINK LOOKING AT YOUR FACE IS GOING TO BE EASY! I CLAWED YOUR EYE OUT, MIKEY! I ALMOST KILLED YOU! DO YOU THINK I'M EVER GOING TO FORGET THAT!"

"I don't. In fact, I know you won't, but if you think that you did this to me, you're wrong. You didn't do anything."

"I know. I didn't do anything." Raph turned and stalked out. Leo followed after him. Donny turned to Mikey and said,"By your own logic, you also aren't to blame here," before he ran after his brothers.

Only Master Splinter stayed. "Are you planning on leaving soon, Michelangelo?"

"Yes, Master Splinter."

"Because you want to get stronger?"

"Yes, Master Splinter."

"Because you want to protect us?" Mikey managed a chuckle.

"You guys don't need me around. You can take care of yourselves."

"You doubt your importance to this family, Michelangelo."

"What importance?" Michelangelo scoffed. "I'm dead weight."

"Perhaps, on your journey, you will see differently. " Mikey made a move to speak, but Master Splinter hushed him. "Right now, your soul is searching for the answers to your questions, but I cannot find those answers for you. You must go out into the world, and seek them on your own."

"Thank you, Master Splinter-"

"However, you cannot leave without first telling your brothers."

Master Splinter chuckled as he left, and Mikey scratched his head, "How am I supposed to get out of here if I do that?"

"Raph, you need to calm down."

"Calm down? Did you hear what he said to me?"

"Yeah, Raph, I was there."

"No, you heard some of it. You heard the "It's not your fault" part, but you didn't hear the other half of that part. "It's my fault."

"He never said that."

"He didn't have to. I could see it in his eyes. He thinks it's his fault that our family dies in the future, and for all we know, that's a load of bull!"

Leo replied, "That turtle looked, sounded, and acted like you, and everyone knows that you would never lie about something like that. Mikey, especially. He looks up to you. He practically idolizes you."

"Oh yeah, and where'd that get him? HE WAS ALMOST KILLED, LEO! And future me or not, I was the one that almost killed him." Leo put his hand on Ralph's shoulder, but he shrugged it off, and said, "I'm gonna go blow some steam in the dojo."

"Make sure you don't-" The dojo door slammed shut and glass broke, "break anything."

"Good to know I didn't miss anything." Donny piped in from behind him.

"Could you stop sneaking up on me?.. How long have you been behind me anyways?" Donny started to make his way to his computer.

"Who me? Why, I just got here."

It was a few days before Leo and Donatello even let him see his reflection. He was pale, but then so were his brothers. They had donated bags full of their blood to him in his first few days of his recovery, and Donny had told him that Leo had fainted twice. The blood bags still littered the floor of his room. Raph didn't come around much, although he still managed to donate more blood than anyone else, but Mikey had expected that. He'd rather have Raph mad at him than have him force a smile for his sake.

Mikey didn't find his new face very attractive. He had three puckered cuts running down his face, which made him look like he was grimacing even when he smiled. And as for his chest, well, he didn't really like to look at it. The only good thing about the scars was that they served as a constant reminder of his resolution to get stronger.

His brothers didn't carry their weapons when they were around him, and Mikey could guess why. If his nunchuks had been used to hurt any of his brothers, it would probably have been a while before he'd have been able carry his them again, too. Their weapons were an extension of their soul, which were meant to be used to protect, but their weapons had been used on their younger brother, and they now carried a guilt that none of them were quite ready to face. Why couldn't I protect him?

About a week passed before they let him out of his room and onto the coach. Master Splinter was meditating. Donatello was working his computer help job, and Ralph and Leo were helping Casey with the motorcycles in the garage. "Is the computer plugged in? Why don't you plug it in, and then call me back if it still doesn't turn on. Okay. Good-bye…" The call ended with a click. "I'm gonna die young. These idiots are gonna kill me."

"Watch your blood pressure, Donatello."

"Shut up." MIkey chuckled and turned his attention back to the reflection in the black TV screen. Who are you? Mikey sat up and the turtle on the screen sat up, too. Guess that means it really is me.He hadn't really wanted to accept it, but it wasn't like he could deny it. He felt the bandages on his skin, his vision had narrowed, and the smell of blood still lingered in his nostrils. It made him feel restless and alert all the time, something he had always pinned Raph as. Mikey closed his eyes and he saw the the face of his brother, grinning mockingly at him even in death. The corpse had been given a proper burial. Donny and Leo ended up burying it themselves, since Raph had been against burying it. He had wanted to dump it into the sewage and let it rot with the rest of the garbage.Don't blame yourself I say. It wasn't your fault I say, and what does he do? He tries to feed the body to the rats. Mikey rolled his eyes and got up off the couch.

"Donny, I'm going into the dojo to meditate. I'll be out for dinner."

"Yeah, sure- Wait, what?" Donny swiveled around so fast his head phones fell off his bald head.

"I'm going to go visit the Foot nin. Maybe they'll make me their leader if I ask nicely." Donatello narrowed his eyes at Mikey's facetious tone.

"Don't even joke about that, Mikey." Mikey opened the door to the dojo and stepped inside. He hesistaed, and murmured under his breath, "It wasn't meant to be a joke"

It was peaceful inside the dojo. Even though the place was old, Mikey knew that it still smelled of wood, and, well, mostly Raph's and Leo's sweat. Mikey had always been too busy playing video games and skate boarding to actually come in and train as seriously as they did. Donatello had his job, so he didn't come in and train as often as he used to. It was foolish. Not training when a whole organization of ninjas wanted your hides for turtle soup.

The weapons of his brothers still hung from their respective places on the wall. He had tried to cajole them into picking back up their weapons, but Master Splinter had said they would do it when they were ready. Yeah, sure, as long as they didn't die first. His gaze wandered from the weapon's wall over to Raph's punching bag. It was worn and torn as always, and Mikey decided to try his idea. Not meditating, so much as controlled venting. He strode over to the sagging punching bag, and tried to picture the Raph who had come from the future, and who had died by his hand.. It wasn't hard to picture him in general, Mikey had been doing that involuntarily since he woke up, but picturing him alive took a little more effort. Alive and sneering. "Hey Raph." The imaginary Raph didn't answer immediately, but Mikey didn't really expect him to speak at all.

"Hey bro." The tone was so condescending and wry that Mikey actually checked to make sure his living and breathing brother wasn't standing behind him.

"You're not real."

"Very good, Mikey, I'm not real. But enough about me, you look like crap." Mikey laughed, hollow and sharp.

"I believe I have you to thank for that." The Raph that Mikey had conjured sat down in front of the punching bag and made a big show of looking interested.

"Oooh, do tell." Mikey clenched his jaw. This Raph is just as much of a jerk as the other… two.

He took a deep breath and prepared to say what he'd wanted to say to his brother, but hadn't gotten the chance to. "You were trying to save us. I get that now. You wouldn't blame me for dying on you, you're not that kind of guy. You're stupid, and self-righteous, and you always always try to carry everything on your own, but… You're also brave, and cool, and strong. You're my big brother. "

"I've always relied on you and Leo to take care of all the hard stuff. That's the only way I could pretend to be normal… sort of. I could skateboard and eat pizza like guys who aren't mutant freaks, but still be ninja enough to be a part of this family. Because being a ninja is the only way to be a part of this family, Raph. It's the only thing that holds us together. It's not fair, that I can't be normal. It's not fair, that Donny can't go to college and become a world renowned computer nerd. Life's not fair, but that doesn't give me the right to let my brothers bear all the pain and responsibility while I play video games. I probably wouldn't blame you if you really had come back from the future just to torture me, but you were just trying to change the future where we all died, even if you died instead, right? If we had been born humans, you and Leo would probably still be putting your lives on the line to save people, and I would probably have friends I could talk to and skateboard with. Who knows, maybe I would have made a better human than I have a ninja, but I'll never know. None of us will. Because we're not humans. We're freakin reptiles!"

"So what are you planning on doing now that you've given up?"

MIkey glared down at the figment of his imagination, "I may have given up on the future I hoped for, but if I stay here, the future you died to prevent may still happen, so I'm going to leave this place, and make sure as shell it never does." A loud crash distracted Mikey and the fake Raph disappeared. A very real and very angry Raph stood panting in the dojo. Casey was starting to look pretty mad, too. Mikey looked down at Raph's feet and said dully, "Well, what a surprise. You broke down the door. Again."

"You-you-you-" Raph started.

"Me-me-me-"

"You're not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry that you had to find this out through a door, but I am leaving, and Master Splinter already knows that."

"Master Splinter knows about this?" Leo asked, probably hurt that Master Splinter hadn't informed him that his youngest brother was planning on leaving.

"Yeah, and he said that I had to find my own path to follow… just like my brothers."

"I won't let you go." Raph growled.

"You can't make me stay."

"Wanna bet?" He replied menacingly. Casey intervened.

"Listen, Mikey, I gotta say I agree with Raph on this one. I don't think you're in your right head yet, and you can't make these kind of decisions when you're not in your right head."

"I haven't healed yet, so I don't think I can beat any of you if this comes to a fight, but if you guys don't step aside soon, I will fight you." A deep and husky voice cut the ensuing silence like a knife.

"Let him go, all of you." All heads turned to see Master Splinter. "As I have told him before, he has to find his own path, so that he may find peace again, and become a man."

"I can never become a man, master. I'm a turtle." Master Splinter smiled paternally at him.

"There is more to being a man, my son, than the form in which you were born." Mikey nodded and stepped forward. Leo, Donatello, and Casey all reluctantly stepped aside. Raph remained in the doorway, but Mikey stepped around him. He almost made it through the door when he felt a firm hand grab his arm.

"Don't go." Mikey tried to pull away, so Raph continued desperately, "Please don't go. If it's because of me, I'll leave and you'll never see me again. Just please don't-" Mikey grabbed Raph's hand, and gave it a warm squeeze.

"I'm not leaving forever, Raphie. I'll see you again, and then I'll even let you punch me." He thought that over. "Maybe."

Raph's hand fell away, and he growled, "You'd better come back, Mikey. Cuz if you don't, I'm coming after you." Mikey smiled, and he didn't look like he was in pain for once. Casey clapped hands with him and tried to wipe the "dirt" out of his eyes. Leo hugged him and told Mikey to take care of himself. Mikey stared at Donatello, unsure how to act.

Donatello fidgeted a little and said, "What am I supposed to do with you gone? Who's going to make sure Raph and Leo don't kill each other?" Mikey shrugged.

"You, I guess."

"Whose going to make sure I don't kill them?" They busted up laughing. Leo and Raph fought grins. "But seriously, Mikey, make sure you come back, okay?"

"You know I don't do serious, but I'll come back." They embraced and Donny worked hard to banish the thought that this might be the last time he ever hugged his little brother. Finally, Mikey embraced Master Splinter. "Goodbye, Master Splinter." Mikey choked out.

"I believe the phrase is 'See you later'… Be safe, my son." Salty tears were still trailed through Master Splinter's fur as he watched his youngest son disappear into the darkness of the tunnels. Leo made as if to go after him, but Master Splinter stopped him with a gesture. "You must let him go."

No one said anything for a while until Casey announced that April wanted him home for dinner. After Casey left, Master Splinter said, "My sons, you must pick up your arms once more, and train on the rooftops tonight." Raph glanced uneasily at his sai, just as his brothers did the same with their respective weapons. "But Master Splinter, if we pick up our weapons right after Mikey leaves, it'll seem like we only stopped using them because of him."

Master Splinter raised an inquiring eyebrow, "Is that not the case?"

"No, it is." Donatello conceded.

"Michelangelo knew that as well. But my sons, you do not have the luxury of putting down your weapons whenever you choose. Enemies will still come, as they always have, to destroy you, and you must always be ready to face them."

That night, the three brothers trained on the rooftops just as their master had told them too, but their once familiar weapons now felt like snakes in their hands. Despite this, Raph fought ferociously. His anger and frustration made him reckless, and Leo found himself fighting to keep both of them safe.

"Raph, cut it out. We're all upset, but throwing a temper tantrum won't bring Mikey back!"

"SHUT UP! Don't talk about him!" Their weapons clashed and scraped, until the brothers jumped back and tried using the surrounding walls for speed. Raph pushed off from the side of the building and Leo pushed off from the top of the wall. They were about to clash in midair, when Donatello stepped in and knocked the wind out of both of them with his staff.

"Get up, we've got company."

"Donny! You-" Raph looked around to see that they had suddenly been surrounded by foot nin. "You really should have said something sooner."

Donatello shrugged, "I tried. You two were too busy to listen." Leo and Raph stood beside Donatello and entered their fighting stances.

"A little Foot nin whooping is just what I need right now."

Leo grinned at his brother, and the guilt that had been weighing him down momentarily lifted, "For once, I think I actually agree with you."

"Don't be so sure." Three heads looked up to see a female ninja on a hover board. "I've trained these ninjas specifically to defeat you after all, and if that fails…" She lifted up a small white remote they had all seen before.

Leo shouted, " Li, how did you get that remote?" A look of mild confusion flitted through her features.

"Well, obviously my scientists made it."

Raph snorted, "Yeah, obviously."

"ATTACK!"