I knew the day would come, somewhere deep in my mind I had always known. I went over it a million times in my head. Still, when the moment came I was speechless.
It all started with a ring; a stupid, pointless ring that threw everything into chaos. It was a warm week in May and Dylan was with my parents for the day. I was sitting on my porch enjoying the solitude when randomly Dallas showed up. He parked across the street and walked over to me nervously.
"Hey what's up?" I called.
He waited to answer until he was standing right in front of me. "Not much" He shrugged.
I rolled my eyes. "Doesn't look like not much. You're sweating bullets, what are you so nervous about?"
Dallas wiped his forehead with his sleeve. "Mike Dallas doesn't get nervous." He said more to himself than to me.
I laughed at him. "Whatever."
It was silent for a moment.
"I… I was just wondering, how you and Dylan are doing here? You know like living alone." He asked me.
"We're fine… It was weird at first but we've both gotten used to it." I answered.
"That's great!" He gave me a sad smile. Something was definitely wrong.
"Yeah…"
"So you don't need any help?" he asked.
"Help? I always need help." I told him.
"You know what I mean; here at the house, could you use a roommate?"
So this was what he was so nervous about.
I laughed "Did you get evicted or something?"
"No, no. It's just I spend most of my nights here anyway, it seems pretty silly to pay rent for an apartment I rarely ever use." He explained.
"So you want to move in?"
"If that's alright…"
I sighed; I guess I knew this would be coming soon. And after all that Dallas had done for me I could at least save him a few bucks.
"Well we do have a spare room downstairs, I guess you could move some stuff into it. But you'll have to pay rent."
Dallas's eyes lit up, but the nervousness didn't go away. What else could he possibly want?
"Maya…" he said in a low voice.
"Yes Dallas?"
"I… I'd like to think we'd be more than roommates."
"What?"
"Well since prom, we've kind of had a thing going on… like a relationship."
"I really don't have time to be someone's girlfriend right now Dallas, you know that." I interrupted. I didn't want to have this conversation now or ever. My feelings for Dallas were just confusing and frustrating.
"I do know that, that's why I came here today." He pulled a small box out of his pocket. "I know we aren't a typical couple, but nothing about you is typical. You are beautiful and original and the strongest person I know. I want to be with you and Dylan the rest of my life, I want you to let me take care of you. So Maya Matlin," He kneeled down in front of me. "Will you marry me?"
What the bloody hell?! Was he high right now? Where did this even come from?! What was I supposed to say?! Oh god, I needed to say something and fast. His face was already dropping at my lack of expression. He should've expected it though, who drops a bomb like that on someone and expects them to answer immediately.
"Dallas…" I stumbled not sure what to say. His puppy dog eyes were smiling up at me hopefully. This had to be a dream.
"I'm not saying it has to happen now or even soon. You don't even have to tell a soul. I just want you to take this, to know that someday I want to marry you. To know that I will never leave you or Dylan."
I was still unsure of what to say. But if I could just forget my past for one moment the answer was obvious. I did love Dallas.
I flashed back to the day that I had Dylan and nearly died in the hospital. The day Cam came to me in a dream. His words echoed in my mind.
"there's another thing Maya… about Dallas."
"What?" I asked.
"He cares about you… he really does. And he's not that bad a guy. He can help you, let him help you. I see the way you look at him too, I know, and if he makes you happy, let him make you happy. Don't worry about me. If you love him…" He trailed off eyeing the ground.
"I don't love him." I said firmly.
"Okay… but if you ever do, don't be afraid."
The word escaped my mouth before I could stop myself. Did I say it out of guilt, or sadness, or sincerity, or love? I had no idea, all I knew was I had said yes to Mike Dallas. I was engaged…
A few days later I was working the closing shift with Zigmund. My mind was still spinning and it was hard to focus.
"What's wrong with you? You're totally out of it." Zig asked passing me a couple of dishes to wash.
"Nothing… I'm just tired. I'm trying to get Dylan to sleep in his own bed every night but he's afraid of the dark. So I bought him a nightlight but he says he's still scared…" It was only half of the story, but it was the only half Zig needed to know.
"Have you ever tried singing to him? My mom used to sing to me all the time when I was a kid. It made me feel really safe and secure ya know. Her voice was just soothing to me, even though she wasn't much of a singer." Zig suggested with a laugh.
"I haven't sung in forever!" I told him.
"Well you should do it all the time, because you're beautiful…" I raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean your voice… your voice is beautiful."
"Uh huh…" I shook my head at him.
"I know that's not all Maya, what else is bothering you?"
"Nothing!" I said a bit too quickly.
"It's that Dallas guy isn't it? Is he bothering you because if you need someone to take care of him…"
"No. I mean no as in he's not bothering me." I answered.
"So is it is about him?" Zig frowned.
"Maybe…"
"Come on Maya, you can tell me, we're friends!"
I thought about it for a moment. I really did need to talk about it with someone, but Zig… I don't know.
"You have to promise you aren't going to be mad." I said.
"I promise!"
"Fine," I took a deep breath and let all the water drain out of the sink. "Dallas kinda asked me to marry him."
Zig stared at me for a moment and then let out an angry laugh. "You're kidding?!" I shook my head. "You said no right?" I shook my head.
"You're engaged to him?! Mike Dallas of all people!" He was half yelling, his eyes flared with anger. "But you two didn't even date! Don't tell me you're pregnant again!"
"No! I'm not that stupid!" I cried. "You said you weren't going to get mad!"
He sighed. "I'm not."
"Are you sure…?"
"Yes Maya. I'm… I'm happy as long as you're happy."
It was silent.
"I got accepted into the Vancouver Academy of Music…" Zig whispered finally.
"Oh Zig that's awesome!" I said.
"Yeah… I got a pretty good scholarship and I already have a job set up down there and my own place. I'm leaving the first week of June." He smiled to himself "Mom's so proud of me."
"I am too. You've come a long way Zigmund Novak."
"So have you Maya Matlin."
That night I was putting dinner on the table. Dallas was still moving a couple of things into his room with a spring in his step.
After calling at Dylan to wash his hands multiple times and yelling at Dallas to stop whistling we all sat around the table.
I could tell something had been bothering my young kindergartener since he got home. However, he wasn't one to share his feelings so I would have to force it out of him.
"How was school today Dylan?" I asked him.
He shrugged.
"Did ya get a girlfriend yet?" Dallas asked with a smirk.
"Ew no! Girls are icky!"
"Just wait a couple years kid, you'll be humming a different tone then." He laughed.
We were all silent; the only sound was the forks clicking against our plates.
Suddenly Dylan looked up to Dallas. "Are you my daddy?" he asked.
I nearly choked to death right there. Dallas however handled the situation with grace and charm.
He smiled, "I'm afraid not kid."
Dylan frowned. "Oh, because all the kids were talking about what their daddy's do and I didn't know what to say." He looked to me. "Mommy, where is my daddy?"
I knew the day would come, somewhere deep in my mind I had always known. I went over it a million times in my head. Still, when the moment came I was speechless.
How do you tell a 5 year old that his father is dead?
I looked to Dallas for help. "Come here I want to show you something." He said.
Dylan followed Dallas to the front yard and they both lay on the grass looking up at the sky. I stopped in the doorway and watched.
"You see those stars up there."
"Yeah…"
"Well those are all the greatest hockey stars since forever. And every once in a while you'll see a star fly by real fast,"
"A shooting star," Dylan told him "We learned about them in school."
"But it's not just a shooting star. That star is your Daddy. He goes by so fast because he's much faster than the other players, better too. The best player there ever was."
"Really?"
"Yup."
"I wanna be as good as my daddy is so maybe one day we can play together!" Dylan exclaimed, a wide smile stretched across his face.
"Don't worry kid, you will be; with some hard work and dedication." Dallas rolled over to face my little boy. "And remember that your Daddy is with you always. No matter where you are or how bad things seem, just look up to the sky and he'll be smiling down at you."
My heart was filled with so many emotions at that moment; love and sadness mostly. But then there was the guilt. Even though Dallas had handled the situation beautifully, even though he promised to be with me forever I knew that somewhere far away little Rocky was asking Vanessa where his Daddy was. And there was no pretty little story to sugar coat your Dad bailing on you. Marrying Dallas was wrong, he didn't belong here.
I shook my thoughts away and fiddled with the ring on my finger. I looked up at the sky hoping that Cam was in fact smiling down at us, and that he would lead me in the right direction.
AN: Sorry for the long wait! But I should be back for good now! Schools out, woot woot! I hope you all enjoyed this chap! And don't worry for those of you who want to see some Dallas baby mama drama its coming next chapter! And there will be some teenage Dylan very soon! Thanks for reading and supporting! Love you!