"Alright class, I know you're all excited to hear about this year's big project." Mr. Lough said. It was the end of class on a Monday, the whole class groaned in unison. Mr. Lough continued on. "You all will need to do a short presentation on the history of Degrassi. This school has had a lot of exciting events over the years so it shouldn't be that hard to find something to focus on. Now, you can do the project alone or with a partner. But no more than two to a group." He handed out a paper with all the criteria on it. "Everyone will be presenting their projects in front of the class. We will begin presentations next Friday. So I suggest you begin as soon as possible."

My stomach twisted, the thought of having to stand up in front of the whole class filled me with dread.

I sighed, I'll just have to ask Maisie to be my partner. That way she can do most of the talking, and I can just hold the poster board.

The bell rang, and I shoved my papers into my unorganized folder. Only one class left, I can do this.

"So, partners?" Maisie asked me as we headed towards the door.

Before I could answer her, I was interrupted by the sweetest voice in the whole universe.

"Hey Dylan."
Ivy.

I turned away from Maisie quickly.

"Hey Ivy."

"I was wondering if maybe you'd like to be my partner for that project. Billy is working with one of his hockey friends, and I don't want to have to stand up in front of the whole class alone."

I know my shock must have shown on my face for a few moments, but I quickly did my best to compose myself. "Uh… sure I'd love to work with you."

Ivy smiled. "Great! We should meet at the dot after school to talk about what we're going to do."

"Sounds… great." I said.

"See you then!"

And then she was gone.

And I was suddenly aware of the glare coming from behind me.

I turned back around.

"Look, Maisie…"

"Parker's definitely going to love this." She said.

"What was I supposed to say, no?!"

"Yes, that's exactly what you were supposed to say!" She exclaimed. "Look, I don't trust her. She's being way too nice and she's not a nice girl. And Parker is not the type of guy to deliver empty threats. If you were any kind of smart, you'd go find her right now and tell her that you aren't coming after school."

I considered it, I really did. I knew Ivy couldn't have gotten far, she was probably just at the bottom of the steps.

"No, I won't. I'm doing this project with her. It's his own stupid fault for choosing another partner. And Ivy is a nice girl, you just don't know her." I told her.

"Fine," Maisie said, her voice a bit too sharp "but don't come crying to me when you get hurt." And then she walked away.

I wish I would've listened to her then, because if I had all the horrible events that occurred that next week would've never happened.

I was surprised at Parker's reaction when he found out I was working with Ivy on my project. Aside from extra drills and yelling at me more than usual at practice there wasn't much backlash.

Maisie on the other hand was giving me the silent treatment. She had even gone as far as switching partners in music, although now we were working on more ensemble based music.

All I had was Ivy. But that was okay with me. Despite Maisie's claims of her "not being a nice girl" I seemed to have plenty of proof otherwise. She was a little lacking in the intelligence department though, so I did most of the work on our project, which was no big deal. She said she would do most of the talking in front of the class so it was a fair deal.

The Dot was our usual meeting spot to work. On Saturday she arrived 30 minutes later than we agreed upon and it was clear she had just been crying.

I wasn't sure what to do. Should I ask her what was wrong, or would that just make it worse?

"I know, I look hideous. I'm sorry." She said after she ordered herself a latte.

"You could never look hideous." I said without thinking.

"Shut up." She said with a slight smile. She pulled out a compact mirror and examined her eyes. "I just had another fight with Billy. Damn him, he can be such a jerk."

I had to try really hard not to agree.

"But you probably know all about that. I mean, God, he's your captain. I'd kill myself if I had to do everything he said."

"I don't have to do everything he says." I tried to say.

But she didn't seem to hear me. "He's just so controlling. He doesn't want me to do this, or that. He wants me to be perfect all the time. I just feel like I can't do it anymore sometimes, ya know?"

"So… So, why are you with him?" I asked, staring down at the table.

"Well, he's really hot and he's funny sometimes and he can be sweet… if he wants something." She considered it for a moment. "I don't know I guess I'm with him because everyone expects me to be."

I forced myself to look up at her. "I don't, expect you to be with him I mean. I think you deserve someone better. Someone to care about you."

She smiled. "You're the sweetest. I wish Billy was more like you!"

I hated myself for blushing.

Wednesday was the last day that Ivy and I met. It was a short meeting, basically we just went over what we were going to say on Friday and I showed her the poster board I had finished at home.

"Sounds good." She said when I was finished.

"Great."

"By the way, I just wanted to tell you thank you." She said.

"For what?" I questioned.

"For what you said Saturday, about me deserving better. It really opened up my eyes, ya know." She smiled. "I broke up with him today, Billy, I broke up with him and I feel amazing!"

"You-You what?!"

A couple of feelings rushed through me all at once. First shock, then joy, then complete and utter fear.

Parker would blame this on me.

Shit.

"I dumped him, you were right I do deserve better. And to be honest I already have someone in mind…"

My stomach flipped. "Well… I'm glad I could help."
"Yep, well I gotta go. I'll see you in class."

She started to get up, and I felt myself start to speak before I could stop myself again. "Well, wait do you want to stay for a little while and have a coffee?"

Ivy pursed her lips and was quiet for a minute. "Look sweetie, you're a nice guy. But now that our history project is finished, there's really no need for us to hang out anymore. I mean, we still have to present, but that'll be a piece of cake for me."

"But… I thought... Why did you ask me to be partners in the first place?"
"Because you're one of the smartest kids in the class, silly! And I can't afford to fail History again or I won't graduate. I knew you'd help guarantee me an A. And I knew you were nice, after all I almost gave you a concussion and you still wanted to help me with those uniforms. Plus, it was an added bonus that Billy didn't like you and me hanging out with you made him jealous."

"So, you used me." I stated simply.

"When you say it like that, it sounds so mean. I was helping the both of us out."

"How?!"

"Well I got what I wanted, and you got to hang out with me for a bit. Sounds like a fair trade."

I was silent, Maisie was right. I should never have trusted this girl.

"But hey, no hard feelings right?"

"Yeah, whatever." I mumbled.

"Good. See you in class." She said, just as chipper as ever.

I sat alone at the Dot for a long time after that.

I had helped Ivy Asher achieve everything she needed, and all I got out of it was a stupid poster board.

How could I be so stupid?! How could I ever think a girl like her could ever see anything in a pathetic loser like me?

Tears burned in my eyes, and I was more embarrassed than ever.

Why was I always crying? Why did I always break down?

I grabbed the poster board and walked home alone, not letting the tears escape my eyes until I was locked safely away in my room.

I was completely alone, yet, I still felt like someone was watching me.

Billy Parker's POV:

"Dude, let's just do it on hockey players from Degrassi!"

"Dude, let's not." I said rolling my eyes at my so called "partner" Connor. He was an idiot for sure, but fun as hell at parties. "I want to do it on that crazy ass Rick Murray guy that shot up the place 25 years ago."

"No way, man! Lough will hate that! Let's just do it on something to do with sports."

"But this does have to do with sports, don't you know anything about it? He shot that basketball star. I think Brooks was his last name; paralyzed him for life. Now that's the kind of stuff people want to hear about, not how many football trophies we have."

"Dude, you are sick."

I ignored him and pulled up Google. "Alright so what should we search, Degrassi shooting?" I paused. "No, I have the perfect name for our project. Write this down. 'Death at Degrassi'"
"Sick" was all Connor said. Then he strolled to the back of his room to watch TV.

"Come on, I just want to make a few people squirm is all. Especially Ivy"

I was so pissed at that slut for breaking up with me, and even more pissed at that little worm Saunders for convincing her to do it. Ivy would be easy to burn, but I just had to figure out a way to get back at him.

I shook my head and got back to business. I needed to get at least get a D to graduate. So I typed in Tragedy Degrassi. The second link was about the shooting, but the first link, oh yes, the first link was so much better.

"Connor, change of plans. You're gonna want to see this." I called, a smile spreading slowly across my face.

Dylan's POV:

Friday came too soon. I was dreading having to stand up in front of the class with dumb Ivy and let her take half the credit for something she barely knew about. But what else could I do? I had gotten myself into this, I had to follow it through.

"Alright everyone! Presentations today, I hope you are all prepared. Any volunteers to go first?" Mr. Lough sounded as excited about these projects as I was.

We all looked around at each other, no one wanting to break the ice and go first when an unlikely hand shot up.

"I'd like to go, if that's alright Mr. Lough." It was Parker.

"William, I'm just surprised you actually did the project. By all means go ahead." Mr. Lough replied.

Parker strode up to the front of the classroom and booted up his laptop, which held a PowerPoint presentation entitled "The Degrassi Greenhouse" with a little picture of the small Greenhouse at the school that many students ate lunch in and that many of the science classes spent time in. I hadn't been there yet myself, but I had heard it was a nice place to go if you wanted to relax. A surprising choice for the psychopathic Parker.

"As you all know, Degrassi has had a Greenhouse for many years. It was built by two Degrassi students 16 years ago in an attempt to make the school more environmentally friendly." He paused, a grin spreading across his face as he looked directly at me.

Unnerved I looked down at my desk.

"However, the Greenhouse has a very interesting history that extends beyond tomatoes and flower beds…"
"Excuse me, Mr. Lough!" Maisie's voice was little more than a squeak.

"Ms. Foster, please do not interrupt Mr. Parker's presentation." Mr. Lough said, although it looked like he was only half listening himself.

"Mr. Lough, please it will only take a moment." She persisted.

"Later Maisie! Continue Mr. Parker."
I heard the click of the presentation switching to the next slide, but I didn't look up. I was too nervous thinking about my own presentation.

Though soon, I was forced to look up, when I felt everyone's eyes on me.

On the slide was the picture of a news article. Degrassi Student's Tragic Death and a picture that at first I thought was of me, until I saw the dark eyes.

"You see, there was a tragedy there the same year it was built. Not many people know about it, it's so sad. A suicide, the suicide of a Degrassi student and Ice Hounds hockey star Campbell Saunders. Now no one is quite sure exactly how he did it, but if I had to guess…"

Suddenly the PowerPoint shut off.

Mr. Lough, his face red, held the plug to the projector. "That is enough William Parker. I should've known you were going to pull something like this. To the principal's office. NOW!"

Parker was still smiling. "Gladly, sir." And he walked out the door.

The whole room was silent.

Breathe, breathe, breathe. I told myself. It's fake, it is a fake story. I don't know how he got that picture, but somehow he photoshopped it. He's just mad at me for the Ivy thing. It's fine. It's fake.

"Will the next presenter, please step forward." Mr. Lough said quietly after a few moments.

Maisie was the brave soul to go ahead and present and there were a few others after her. But luckily, we ran out of time and I didn't have to face the class after what had happened.

As soon as the bell rang, I shot out of my seat like a bullet and raced to the door.

Maisie was trailing behind me, calling my name, but I didn't want to talk to anyone.

It was fake, he was lying, he was just trying to hurt me. It was fake, it had to be fake. It-

I was repeating this over and over in my head when I got to the bottom of the steps and saw it. The first flyer of many. Taped to lockers, on the floor, stuck on doors; everywhere.

SUICIDE SAUNDERS

I grabbed the one at my feet and read it against my better judgement.

It was the news article from before.

Degrassi Student's Tragic Death:

Teen hockey star found dead in Degrassi Community School's Greenhouse.

15-year-old Degrassi sophomore Campbell Saunders' body was found in the Degrassi Greenhouse early Wednesday morning by a fellow student. The death was ruled a suicide. A candlelight vigil was held for Saunders after school that same day, and students interviewed at the event described themselves as feeling "shocked" and "saddened" by the loss. Administration has yet to release any comments on the incident. Saunders was a member of the Ice Hounds hockey team...

I stopped reading.

Tears, oh the tears, burned my eyes like fire. But it was the fire that burned inside of me that I felt the most. The uncontrollable anger that was building inside my stomach.

I crumbled the flyer up in my fist and ran down the hallway, looking for Parker. Ignoring Maisie's desperate pleas for me to come back.

I found Parker in the hallway near the music room, laughing with his friends. I doubted he had even gone to the principal when told.

"Oh, hey guys! Look who it is, mini Suicide Saunders. Better watch what you say around him, wouldn't want to hurt those fragile feelings." Parker called. His friends laughed despite themselves and I was sad to say that most of them were my teammates.

"Why?" Was all I could manage.

"Why? I just thought the school had a right to know about our history, and you're a part of it." He paused. "Well, your dad is anyway."

"You had no right." I said through my teeth.

"To what? To tell the school your secret?" I didn't say anything, and Parker's eyes widened. "You didn't know, did you?" He laughed. "You had no idea! See I did you a favor! Now you understand why you're such a freak!"
That was it, that was the end.

My eyes blurred, and all I could see was red. I knew I was hitting something, but I don't think it registered that the something was a someone until I was being pulled away and the red faded.

"Calm down Dylan! What is going on here?!" It was Novak's voice in my ear. He was holding my struggling arms behind my back almost effortlessly. It was then that I got a look at Parker's bloodied face.

The blood was coming from his nose I think, it might be broken.

I felt Novak take away the flyer that was still clutched in my hand and a sigh of realization sounded from behind me.

He let go of my arms and instead placed a firm hand on my shoulder. "Let's get you to the nurse." He said softly.

Another teacher had arrived and was taking care of Parker, who I believe was unconscious.

When we got to the nurse's office, she gave me an ice-pack for my eye which was already blackening, and washed the blood off my hands.

When she left to go check on another student, I noticed Novak was still there.

I eyed him desperately. "You went to school with my mom." I said quickly. "You were there. You would know the truth, you would tell me the truth. It's a lie, right? He was in an accident, it wasn't his fault. He didn't want to hurt himself. He didn't…" I couldn't say it, I couldn't say what he had done. "It's a lie, right?"

Novak looked at me, his eyes were dark and he looked like he had aged 20 years in the past 20 minutes. At first I thought he wasn't going to answer me, that maybe he didn't know. But after a long silence he spoke.

"I'm sorry Dylan." He whispered.

I nodded, trying to keep myself together. Trying to channel my mom and be strong and never let people see me cry.

But it was too much. My dreams, my mom keeping me away from my paternal grandparents, the hurt in her eyes when she looked at me, the therapy when I was younger, the way they never gave me a straight answer about how he died… it all made sense now.

And me… why I always broke down, why I was so messed up. I was just like him.

I was Suicide Saunders. Everyone had been tiptoeing around me all these years because they were afraid of what I would do.

That's when I broke down, right there in the nurses office in Degrassi, right there in front of my music teacher.

I sobbed like I had never sobbed before.

Because Parker may have been right about what my Dad had done, and about me being a freak. But he had been wrong about one thing, I had known, I'd known for a long time. But I never wanted to admit it to myself.

My father killed himself, and it was only a matter of time before I did it too.

Hey everyone! I am so sorry for not updating this for so long! I just couldn't get any inspiration! But then all of a sudden it came to me! Reviews are always appreciated! Am I going to far? Or is this good? Let me know!