Sorry this took so long to come out today y'all! Another busy day and time kept getting carried away from me, not to mention the fact I was constantly interrupted! Hate that! Anyways, the first part of this fic skips backward just a bit so that you see the last scene between Beth and Merle through Merle's eyes to get a better feel for what's going through his mind right now. I hope you enjoy!
It had been a hell of a night and Merle was tired. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so drained of all of his energy. Everyone who had been able had taken on a task of some kind and they were all showing signs of exhaustion by morning. No one had actually seen the Governor the whole night, but they all knew who had launched the attack on the prison. Merle figured it was likely that the bastard had gone back to Woodbury, but he knew that that wouldn't be the last time they heard from him.
After he had carried Beth inside the prison to Hershel, he hadn't been able to stay with her. He, Daryl, and Rick had gone up to the walkway that crossed between the two buildings and silently picked off the walkers in the darkness while Morgan, Glenn, and Michonne had worked to cover the holes in the fence so that no fresh walkers came through. One of the best things about finding Morgan had been the amount of weapons that he had provided them. The man had several guns equipped with silencers as well as night vision scopes that had allowed them to see and pick off walkers one by one.
It had been a long night and by the time daylight had begun to break they had bodies of walkers scattered all over the concrete courtyard, but at least no one had died. The guard tower had burned for the better part of the night until they were left with nothing more than a smoldering pile of rubble and ash. The others began helping to move the bodies and prepare them to burn when he headed inside to check on her condition. Hershel was sitting at one of the tables when he walked in and the old man gestured to him to have a seat.
Merle shook his head no, "I sit down an' I ain't gettin' back up. I jus' come ta see how she was doin'." Merle had a feeling he knew what was on the old man's mind. Now that the man had had time to think about it, he would know exactly why Beth had been up in the tower alone with him. For some reason, that didn't sit well on his stomach.
Hershel sat down on one of the benches and laid his crutches next to him, "The burn is not as serious as it could have been, but the smoke inhalation could have been fatal. Thankfully I don't think she breathed in enough smoke to cause severe damage, though she will have a cough for a while," Hershel paused and then sighed. "I wanted to thank you Merle."
Merle frowned, "Thank me fer what?" He asked. Surely the man wasn't thinking him for taking his daughter's virginity, but Merle was way too tired to try and figure out what was going through the man's mind.
"For saving my daughter's life. If it wasn't for your persistence, then we might have lost her. It could have been much worse, but you saved her just in time. Thank you," Hershel said.
Merle had stood there dumbfounded for several moments while Hershel had clapped him on the shoulder and left the room to go check on Beth. He really wasn't comfortable being made out to be some kind of hero. That wasn't who he was and he didn't know how to play that role. He would much rather go back to being the asshole that everyone hated and ignored. That was a role he knew better than anything. It was who he was.
He sighed and made his way down past the cells where everyone had settled down into their bunks and several people could be heard snoring softly. He paused as he came upon her cell and he could hear her coughing inside. The sound tore inside of him and he stepped just to the doorway silently, watching as she lay with her eyes closed and clutched her pillow to her chest. He cleared his throat and her eyes flew open. When she sat up quickly and winced he found himself hurrying across the room to help her ease back down onto the bed. Her green eyes fluttered open and locked onto his and he stared at her intently before Hershel stood, breaking the silence.
"I'll let you two visit a bit. Keep in mind that her voice is hoarse and we need to give her time to heal," Hershel laid his hand on his shoulder firmly and Merle nodded at him.
Once Hershel was gone Merle sat down on the edge of the bed and she grabbed his hand and tugged it into her lap. He glanced at her, but he let her hold his hand momentarily. For some strange reason it was comforting to him, but he wouldn't ever admit it.
He let out a deep sigh, "It's my fuckin' fault yer lyin' in this damn bed," He said. She started to speak but he took his hand from hers and placed his finger to her lips, silencing her, "No. Ya don't get ta talk til' ya better." He leaned his head down and stared intently at the floor.
She placed her hand upon his shoulder and he tensed. He stood up to clear his mind. He couldn't think with a clear head when she was touching him and he couldn't even look at her knowing that she would look hurt. It was easier not to care if he kept himself distant.
"Well I jus' wanted ta see how ya were. I gotta get back out there..." He let his voice trail off.
"Stay," She flinched.
He saw her flinch and he knew she was in pain. He hated like hell that he had been so stupid as to fuck things up like he had. If he hadn't been so damn horny she wouldn't be in this mess. She would have been tucked safe inside of the prison somewhere when the chaos had started. She had been the only one injured and it had been because of his command to stay inside that had caused it. He moved towards the door and then paused at the doorway, "I'll get Hershel fer ya," He said quietly and then he left the room quickly. He couldn't take one more second of being in the room and hearing her ragged voice and knowing that she was suffering.
When Merle finally got to bed and was able to sleep, he didn't wake up until sometime in the middle of the night. He had slept through dinner and now he was starving. He reached for his pants and shirt and quickly dressed before heading down the steps. His brother wasn't in his room so Merle assumed he was either hungry as well or on watch.
As he reached the bottom of the steps, he didn't even glance into her room. He didn't want to be tempted to go inside. All was quiet as he entered the kitchen area and he rummaged through the stash of food until he found a few sticks of dried jerky and a can of fruit cocktail. He opened up the can and sat down heavily at the table to eat.
He was still slightly groggy from sleep so he didn't see her as she entered the room, but he did hear her and his eyes snapped up to meet hers. He didn't say anything to her, but he could feel her looking at him. He kept eating and she crossed over to sit across from him at the table.
"Are you mad with me?" She asked hoarsely.
He gave her a glare, "Ya ain't s'posed ta be talkin'. Shouldn't ya be in bed restin'?" He asked.
Her hand drifted to her side where the burn was located, "Hurts," She whispered.
"They ain't give ya nothin' fer pain?" He finished off the can of fruit and bit into the jerky viciously.
She shook her head, "Cream," She replied.
"Hmph," He replied.
They sat in silence for several minutes and he didn't know what he should be saying to her. She seemed to be waiting for something, but he had already explained to her not to expect anything and she had agreed so he didn't know what she could be waiting for. She stood up and he glanced up at her. He watched as she crossed over to where they kept the drinks and tried to bend over to pick up a water. He shook his head and got up and reached into the package for the water. She smiled slightly at him, but he could tell that she was in pain.
He clenched his teeth, "Take yer ass ta bed an' get some rest! Ya shouldn't be up!" He spoke a little more harshly than he had intended. He saw her flinch and then she simply nodded before turning around and leaving the room.
He sighed and stuck the last bit of jerky in his mouth. He wasn't even hungry anymore, at least not for food anyway. He felt very conflicted in that moment and he banged his fist onto the top of one of the tables loudly, causing it to echo throughout the room. He walked down the hallway passed the cells where the others were still soundly sleeping and made the mistake of looking towards her cell as he placed his foot on the bottom step of the stairs.
The blankets that they had strung across the bars did little to conceal everything and he could see that she was sitting on her bunk without a shirt, her back facing towards him. He backed away from the steps silently and walked closer to her cell. He could see that her hands were trembling as she pried at the corner of the bandage. Every organ in his body was screaming at him to walk away, but his feet weren't cooperating at all. He was frozen in place and he held his breath as she began to pull at the bandage. She stopped before finishing however and he could see her shoulders shake softly.
She was crying. He immediately turned on his heel, giving little regard to being silent anymore and stalked out into the night air. He wanted to hit something, needed to unleash his emotions on something.
"Everythin' all right in there?" Daryl's voice rang out from behind him.
Merle whirled around, his whole body coiled like a spring, "That yer way o' askin' me if I fucked somethin' else up brotha?" He sneered.
Daryl frowned at him, "Fuck you Merle. Jus' askin' a fuckin' question," He replied.
"Well ya got ya fuckin' answer didn'tcha?"
Daryl studied him carefully, "Ya tryin' ta pick a fight?" He asked.
Merle smiled coldly. He was purposefully pushing his brother, wanting to get a rise from him, "With you? Wouldn't be much of a fight, now would it brotha?" Daryl's jaw tightened and Merle saw that he was on the right track so he decided to push a little more, "Ya might need ta go get ya dick back from Officer Friendly in there 'fore ya go try'na hit me."
That was the push that sent Daryl over the edge. Merle was expecting it and still never saw it coming. Daryl's fist connected with his jaw and a kaleidoscope of color clouded his vision. Merle smiled as he brought back his fist and in turn slammed it into Daryl's gut, causing him to double over slightly. Daryl charged him and then they tumbled to the ground, punching and kicking each other.
"Hey! Cut it out!" Rick's voice cut through them both as he worked his way between them to break them apart. Merle swiped at the blood around his mouth as Daryl lay back on his hands. They were both panting heavily, but they were both smiling as well. Rick stared between them incredulously, "I don't even want to know why you are both smiling right now," He said.
"We were jus' havin' a lil' discussion officer," Merle drawled. He was feeling much improved now that he had been able to work off a little steam.
Daryl smirked at him and then nodded at Rick, "We're cool Rick. Sorry 'bout that," He said.
Rick stared at them for a few minutes and then slowly nodded, "Alright," He turned to Daryl. "I'm trusting you that this is over when I walk away. With the attack last night, we can't afford to be off our guard," He said firmly.
Daryl nodded, "Got it." Merle crossed his arms and smirked at his brother. Rick turned to leave and Daryl kicked at him with his boot. "What tha hell Merle?" He asked.
Merle shrugged, "Jus' needed ta work off some steam. Was gonna take it out on that wall over there, but then ya had ta go buttin' in an' all," He replied.
They both stood up and Daryl swiped at his face with the edge of his shirt, "Work off steam fer what?"
Merle stared out into the darkness, "Jus' got lots o' things on my mind lil' brotha. Lots o' things," He repeated softly.
He failed to mention that the "things" all essentially belonged to one person who had long, golden blonde, hair.
What do you think? :)