Chapter 8-Lovey

I can't help smiling at the bird this morning. It coos on my desk as I affectionately stroke its light brown plumes speckled with bits of dark and patches of eggshell. I thought he'd come for it sooner, but he hasn't. It watches over me at night, settling in on the footboard of my bed into a small ball. When I wake, it's gone, but it finds me again outside. Over this past week, it's noticed my routine. It follows me to some of my classes, slouching in a corner outside the window, but mostly I assume it sleeps in the owlery until the sun begins to droop. I think it knows something. About me, maybe. I can't imagine how Leo would train it to do this, though. I once thought maybe Leo was an anigmagus, morphing into that bird because of his acute fascination with me. But then I remember I saw him with it outside the train station the first day, perched high and magnificent against his shoulder. And how would he tell his bird to come to me? There's no way to speak with animals. They are quite dim. All they want in payment for traveling hundreds of miles is food and shelter, though I suppose that's all I would want if I had the skies to bend to my will. Flying would be payment plenty.

But, the bird isn't the only reason I'm smiling. It's because I know who is coming. The early morning October air flushes through the classroom as he flings the doors open and stands stock still in the empty classroom. It's too early for any of the students. He wanted to come here to catch me walking in with the gorgeous chordate. I don't need to turn around. I know it's him. I've been waiting every day for this, you see.

I turn to look at him and smile, taking a seat atop the desk. "Hello, Leo," I greet. I softly touch my fingers to the avifauna's talons and it steps carefully onto my hand. Luckily, it is a small bird, only about twenty centimeters tall, so it's easy to support. I enjoy watching her shift about until she makes it to a sturdier part of my arm.

"You stole Lovey," Leo flatly accuses.

"Oh is that her name?" I ask. "Well, assuming it is a girl. Lovey is a bit of an odd name for a male owl."

"You stole my bird."

"I didn't steal anything. She came to me," I tell him, scratching her neck a bit. She nestles into my fingers and flaps of clear, protective film glaze over her eyes for a moment.

"How did you get her to even touch you? She only sits on my dad and me."

I cock my head. "Is that true, Lovey? I didn't know you liked me so very much! By the way, thank you for letting me use her for Transfiguration. I've had to share Dennison's rat that bites a terrible lot."

"I—You've been transfiguring my bird?"

"Oh, she doesn't mind, do you, Lovey?"

"Give her back! You can't have her!"

I decide he doesn't know. Leo's not much of one for scheme like this, or at least not one to get involved. I've spoken with him and watched him enough times over this past month to know that much. It must've been of Lovey's own choice to be near me. Curious.

"Why did you send me that note?" I ask forthright.

"Note?"

"Alright so it wasn't exactly a note, but it was indeed mysterious and Lovey delivered it to me. Then, I suppose she decided she liked my presence more than yours. I do suppose I have more time to pay attention to her."

"I didn't send you anything!"

I pause. "You didn't?"

"No! Give her back!"

"I'm not keeping her tied down. She can go if she wants. Lovey?"

The bird shifts its head between Leo and me and finally takes off for Leo's arm. Leo looks at me suspiciously, then at the bird. "Why did you take her? Just to get my attention?"

"Your attention?"

"I'm sick of you stupid girls always being like that! Can't you just leave me alone?! Does it always have to be your way while everyone else suffers?! What's the deal with you?! Why did you help me with my newspaper? Why did you take my bird?"

I stare at him for a moment. How did he know I—Well, perhaps I made it a bit obvious. I'm not sure what to do, so I just smile. "You're a clever boy, Leo. Perhaps I haven't done you justice." I shrug and stare out the window at the sky, chalked over with clouds. "The thing is that I don't think I'm the one you're angry with."

"Who else would I possibly be angry with?"

"Lovey."

"Lovey is a bird! She doesn't know any better!"

"Oh," I say, getting down from the table and walking over to her. I get close enough and he lets me touch her silk feathers so faintly, I barely feel them brush my fingertips. "But she's not just a bird, is she?"

"What are you talking about?"

I've done this wrong. Just leave! I want to shout to him. Just go away and never come back! Never look at me again! But something like that…better to be at least somewhat honest. So I lose the attempt at mystery and stare him in the face.

"I can tell she means more to you than I thought now that you're here. So, I'm sorry for encouraging her so. I just really like her is all. She's sweet and followed me around probably because I was sweet to her right back. She's a very special bird. You're very lucky to have her."

Leo looks at me. I'm well aware it just sounded as if I was relinquishing a lover to her true spouse. I rather wish to slap myself, but such antics might provoke odd reactions to my present company. Oh, my life. I've just realized I'm quite horrible at keeping secrets.

"Yeah, I am," he says. "She really just came to you?"

"She did. I hope this doesn't turn me off to you too much." Of course, I know it will exponentially. I've realized I was a mystery to him. He said so in my vision. The only reason he was interested in me was because of my enigma. Now that it's gone, he'll see I'm just me. Just a regular girl. Sort of. I feel exposed this way because I've always hidden in the dark, but in a way, I'm still hiding. "And I do hope you won't talk too harshly of me." Or at all, hopefully.

"No," he states simply. "I have a feeling that even if I did, no one would remember a word of it."

"So you've caught on," I smile lightly and a moment of understanding passes between us.

He turns around to walk out. But then he pauses, curiosity getting the better of him, and turns back to look at me. "How did you get my newspaper running in the first place? And why?"

"Leo," I say. "I didn't help you. I'm just a stupid girl who has to have my way while everyone else suffers. Remember?"

"Ah…I didn't mean…I'm sorry. Really, I am." He looks so sincere, it's suddenly very easy for me to imagine what so many people saw in him.

"Forget it." I step very close to his face. "I mean that quite literally." It's a gamble, I know, but I would quite love to see his expression if I am wrong. I grip his face and crack my head against his so a shot of pain streaks through my head.

My eyes open.

I pant and breathe hard up there on the roof, clinging to the shingles, grains coming off against my palm in brown bits of sand. Merlin, I feel like I've just run a mile without a breath. The cold air grates my skin likes its cheese it would like to spread over the sky. My ears feel oddly disconnected at their tips, the scaphoid fossa, so I can feel my heartbeat through them. If I jumped down now, the shock…Well, it would be too much. I touch my forehead, hot from fighting off the cold. I have to be more careful. Still, I like this boy. He notices me. He sees me. Frieda never takes half as much interest. He's different and I wonder how. How is it that he can see through the spell? He must be a powerful wizard, I think.

Then, something bursts in my heart like the ground above a spring has just been punctured to let healing water bubble and flow out. As much as my head feels like a chisel's being driven through it, I sit up abruptly. If he's powerful enough to see through my spell…maybe he can see through the pond's spell! He could help me!

But no, I think, sitting back. Even if he could, I can't risk him, a journalist, finding out. The pond might not even cure me. "Still…" I say, turning my head over to Lovey, perched on a vane. "It's my only hope, that pond, Lovey." She hoots and shifts in place, perhaps surprised that I now know her name. I close my eyes and feel the air kiss the very bottom of my lungs before releasing it all, imagining fibers from my pillow leaving my mouth. I always feel asthmatic so high up.

I stare at Lovey for a moment and lean towards her. "But if it wasn't Leo who sent me that page, then who?" I remember Leo's words in the vision. How did you get her to even touch you? She only sits on my dad and me. "Leo's father?" I wonder. "What've I got to do with him? Why would he send that to me?" Lovey hooted several times. "Alright, then, Lovey. Time to put you to good use."

I rocket off the roof and make visible dents in the mud below my feet, sinking in around my shoes. Lovey circles like a hawk above my head until I make it to the owlery where she swoops high into the calls of other avifauna. There, I see why. It's a girl I scarcely expected to see in here. Rose. She doesn't seem to have noticed me yet, standing still and staring hard at her wand.

"Okay, Rose, you can do this. You have to pass the OWLs. Oh, haha, practicing for the OWLs in an owlery. Hilarious, Rose. You're a real stand up, you are."

I can't help, but smile to myself. Rose is certainly pretty and better at potions than most fifth years. Still, she always seems to muck up whatever spell she's doing. I find it positively charming.

"Alright, aguamenti!" she shouts, pointing her wand to the wall. A few orange squirts escape the stick before it fizzles out into a trail of sloppy bubbles. "Ugh!"

"Having some trouble?"

Rose flashes around. "How long have you been standing there?!"

"How long have you been trying to do spells with a wand that hasn't chose you?"

She looks down at it. "Erm…I suppose it hasn't, no, but none of the wands in the shop wanted me. None of them. He just gave me this one."

"Hmmm…I suppose you'll just have to make your own."

"Make my—I can't make my own!"

"No, I suppose you can't. I couldn't imagine you being the cleverest witch in the school with a highly intelligent mother and forest full of magical creatures with which to make one."

Rose turned red as a cherry tomato. "I'm not the cleverest witch in the school."

"Alright," I say, smiling.

"And the centaurs…well, I'm too old for them to spare now…"

"True," I nod, shuffling through the parchment until I find some ink.

"And the wood, well, Merlin, where would I get…well, there is vine wood out there, isn't there? Oh, but who'd come with me?"

"Maybe Patricia and Albus," I suggest, dipping the quill and starting to scratch out my letter.

"Patricia and…Oh, but they're always fighting! And Albus would never go with me. He'd tell Hugo and Hugo's such a goody-two-shoes, he'd tell McGonagall."

"Not if Patricia's going."

"Hm? How can you tell?"

"Oh, I can tell. Do you know about making wands?"

"Ought to, I've read most every book in the library on it! Every book in the library period. I read quite fast. That's why I'm so good at History of Magic. Whipped through the textbook like that." She snaps confidently.

"A wonder you're not in Ravenclaw."

"Ah, well, my parents, both Gryffindors, you know. In the blood."

I finish scrawling out my note and roll it up. "Lovey!" I call.

"Lovey?" Rose asks. "Is that Leo's bird?"

"No," I lie.

"Didn't think so."

I manage to tie the note onto Lovey's foot and feed her a treat from the box on the edge of the desk. "Bring this to whoever sent me that page," I whisper to her. I lift my arm high and she takes off, swooping high out the window. Perhaps that's why she stayed so long, I think. To get a reply.

"Well, goodbye, then," I say.

"Oh, yes, goodbye. What've you sent off?"

"Just a letter," I promise. I wave as I walk out the door, surely dropping from her mind the instant I'm out of view.