Alli Braginski: OC, Alaska
Hero F. Jones: OC, America's little sister, Washington, Oregon, Montana and Idaho formed a new country
Edwin Tica: OC, Antarctica
Arc: OC, The Arctic
Mai: Taiwan
My Awkward Entrance Into Espionage
"I'm addicted to your touch"
Ed Sheeran, "Addicted"
For the next couple of days, I avoid creative writing like it's the plague because, as far as I'm concerned, it basically is. There is nothing worse than that place, where- nevermind. I won't say. I said I wouldn't think about it anymore. So that's what I will do.
...
It's just...! I can't believe he...! I can't...! I...! Fuck it all, I don't give a fucking shit I'm just fine without him, it's not like I liked him at all anyways, he was just some guy, he was just some sexy guy who seemed like he cared, he was just the one person who seemed like he cared without having to, he was just... just... too good. Both to be true, and for... me. I'm just going to have to forget him.
So that's probably why I find myself following him around school once free time has come around.
Lovino, I don't even have words to express how disappointed in you I am, I tell myself as I quickly duck behind a corner as he turns around to wave at some student he knows. And then, Who the fuck is that student, giggling at him like that. She doesn't even know him at all, what right does she have to wave at him like that?! I'm going to put her on my hit-list for when I join the mafia, so I ought to find out her name, and then I can-SHIT! Antonio!
I run out into the hallway he was just in, running past the girl who half-screams as I rush by. I feel like I'm running so fast that her skirt billowed up like in anime, but it probably didn't happen. I screech around the corner and then quickly back pedal when I see he's barely thirty yards in front of me. I quickly hide behind the corner and try to catch my breath. Everyone in the hallway is looking at me strangely, but I just shoot them the bird and peek around the corner, jerking my head back when I see he's looking in my direction. I stand completely still, hardly daring to breathe, until I hear footsteps coming back down the hall towards me. I'm not sure if they're actually his, but I turn and run anyways, because I will not be discovered, fucking dammit.
(','(','(','('.')';')';')';')
I'm not sure how long I tail Antonio through the school, but by the time he finally leaves to the dorm room he's staying at during school days (it's a weird setup; you stay at the school during the weekdays because it's easier, and then if you have a home in the city most people leave for the weekend- don't even ask, okay?) I feel like I've run at least three thousand miles. I'm sure I haven't really, but that's what it feels like, so fuck off. I lean against the wall next to his door and try not to start crying because, well, I just stalked my teacher for, like, three hours? I mean, that's... that's just... awful. Oh, fuck, what sort of human being am I? What was it Antonio said the other day, before making me make churros with him? Something about being a horrible human being?
"You are a poor, depraved human being," Oh yeah, that's right. And then after that came:"I'm happy to be able to be the first one to fix you!" Cue wonderful rendition of "Fix You" by Coldplay. In Spanish. God, even just something as stupid as that gets my pulse racing, and I'm not even gay! I'm not, okay, so the rest of you can go fuck yourselves! I slowly slide down the wall until I'm sitting against it with my legs pulled up to my chest and my arms wrapped around them. I bury my face in my knees to try to block out the light coming in through the infrequent windows of the dorms. This is so... sucky.
I sit there for at least ten or fifteen minutes, until someone gently taps me on the knee. I look up to see Eliza standing there, with her serious face on. "Lovino, we need to talk," she says grimly.
"Who the fuck's we?" I ask suspiciously. "I don't want to have to talk to the whole damn crew."
"Too bad, Lovino, hon. You need some help from the Vargas Cupids." she informs me gravely, drawing some weird symbol in the air with the pinky fingers of both her hands.
I groan and rest my head back on my knees. "No thank you. The last time you tried to help me with a relationship, she ended up in the hospital, remember?"
She huffs. "That's only because you didn't jump out and rescue her! She wouldn't have gotten hit with that car if you'd just followed the plan!"
"I'd have gotten hit with the car!" I say angrily, glaring up at her vengefully.
"That was the point!" she hisses fiercely at me. I lean back a little bit, then start looking nervously around for her frying pan. "Ugh, whatever, that doesn't matter right now. What matters is that you just spent at least three hours stalking your teacher, and as far as I know, you haven't been to his class since the first day of school! What's going on here, Italian?"
Oh shit. She just called me "Italian." Shit is going to go down if I don't tell her the truth. "I-I don't know why I did it, I just followed him!" I tell her hurriedly. Is that a flash of frying pan I see behind her...? "I-I met him on the plane coming back from America, and we kept in touch." I say quickly as I realize that what I said earlier wasn't nearly enough for her.
"Likely story," she says suspiciously. If she had had glasses, she would have taken them off to get a better look at me just now.
"It's the goddamn truth, I swear!" I raise my hands up like I have to prove to her that I have no weapons.
She sighs. "Fine, I believe you." If she had had glasses, she would have put them on before examining me once more. "But I'm going to need to hear the full story. In detail." She somehow makes that sound extremely perverted, which makes me blush slightly, even though I've never done anything perverted with Antonio in my life! Well, except for that one time in my tomato garden- no! I said I wouldn't think about it, fucking dammit!
"C'mon, Italian, we need to meet with the rest of my crew." She grabs me by the hand and pulls me to my feet even though I resist every step of the way.
"I don't want to meet the rest of your crew!" I whine. "That one girl, Alli, or whatever her name is- she creeps me out! I mean, why is she so quiet all the time? And she looks like she's going to jump Hero or something. Ugh, and Arc and Edwin never stop trying to kill each other. It's so annoying! And why does Edwin always dress like a girl?"
"Stop procrastinating!" she says, dragging me along behind her as she heads off to their meeting place. "You're coming, and that's that! Don't make me use my frying pan!"
I quiet instantly. You do not want to be on the receiving end of her frying pan. Well, actually, maybe I do... it'd sure help with this stupid obsession I've got... Eliza drags me nearly all the way to the other end of the school- damn her and her fucking club and their fucking location -and into the special, unused classroom that belongs to the Vargas Cupids. She shoves me through the door first, as if I'd try to escape if she didn't- not when that frying pan's around, I won't -then shuts and locks the door behind her, which wouldn't be bad if it wasn't for the fact that it can only be unlocked if you have the key, and she has the only one. Cue emotional breakdown. Now I have to spend time with these fucking over-the-top, completely insane, yaoi obsessed girls (and two guys, though one cross-dresses) who decided one day (probably when they were drunk or high or both) that they should help people with their love-lives by interfering and then filming whatever good stuff happens. And now they've made me their prisoner. Fuck my life.
"Okay, people, to order!" Eliza bangs her frying pan on a nearby desk like it's a gavel, nearly bursting my eardrums and causing all of the Cupids to giggle insanely- except for Arc, who's expression never changes ever. "We've got our newest victim here and we've got to figure out what he wants so that we can film the end credits- also known as sex -and then sell it online."
Well, at least they're willing to admit that I'm a victim. Though their motives make me want to commit suicide.
"So, first we must question the prisoner! Alli, Arc, that's your job!" Alli, a strangely looming girl with nearly white hair and skin and weirdly purple eyes, comes over to me and shoves me in a chair, pulling a random belt out from nowhere. My eyes go wide with fear- who knows what she's capable of, seriously -as she stretches it out as if testing it's strength. I can see Arc standing behind her, looking like her evil shadow, glaring at me as if all sins in the world were brought into existence with my birth.
"Hey, hey, no need for that." Oh, thank god! Hero steps in front of them both with her customary devilish smirk, turning around to aim it at me. "You're gonna tell us everything, arentcha?" she asks "sweetly." I nod emphatically- Alli's still holding that belt, and Bella's in the process of handing Eliza her camera, letting me know that they're going to do... something to me.
"Okay then, Nat!" I wince as Natalia Braginsky- Alli's aunt who's the same age as her -steps forward, her ever-present bow perched atop her head like it's a demon in possession of the girl's body. Because no one's face can look that evil... can it?
"Loviiiiiiinooooo..." she sings with that look she always gets when she sees her brother. "I think you have something to teeeeeeell uuuuuuus..."
I nearly whimper, but I manage to choke it down. "I-I suppose..." I manage to say. I don't fucking want to tell them, but I kind of have to unless I want to be buried alive! Oh, wait, if that would mean that I don't have to deal with Antonio anymore, that'd be a good thing, right?
"Then teeeeeeeell uuuuuuuuus..." she whispers evilly. Suddenly Arc appears behind her, nearly making me scream. God, he is so fucking creepy! Why are his eyes all white like that?
"W-well, I was j-just following around Antonio! He's my creative writing teacher! I met him on the plane here from America and he left his phone number on my arm and we met up and- I'm not gay!" I end in a rush. I didn't even mean to say it. It just threw itself out of my mouth like it had an evil mind of it's own.
"That's not aaaallll-" Natalia starts, but Hero interrupts.
"Okay guys, that's enough. Let's cut the crap, okay?" Everyone in the room glares at her- except me -but she doesn't care. She is, in her own words, the most fucking awesome piece of beautiful heroic angel they have ever seen in all their lives, past, present, and future, and she commands their absolute loyalty. Total bullshit, all of it, but the one fact that cannot be denied is that she has a killer of a right hook and if she wanted to she could take one of the heads off of Mount Rushmore with just one or two, so when she says to cut the crap, you cut the crap unless you think you need a new head.
"Lovino, what none of them want to say is that we, as your friends, just want to help you get whoever you want, and if what you want is your teacher, then we will do that." Alli turns to glare at everyone behind Hero's back and they all chorus, "Yep, we'll do it." Somehow, it doesn't make me feel better. Sure, Hero means what she's saying, but the other six don't mean shit except the part about filming the "end credits."
"Fucking lovely," I say dryly.
They lock me in Eliza and Bella's room while they're planning. And by lock, I mean that they literally lock me in. No joke. They also handcuff me to a bed, which I think is a little bit unfair- not to mention pervy. Thank god Hero took Eliza's camera away before she could take weird pictures of me...
And then they leave. They just leave me in here, handcuffed to a bed, all lonely and alone and depressed and pretty freaked out by my creative writing teacher! Uugh, why is my life so FUCKING STUPID.
I examine the handcuffs to see if they're loose or something, and then nearly start crying at the stupidity of Hero. They're fake handcuffs. They're not even real. She let Eliza and Bella lock me up... with fake handcuffs. I don't know how I manage to think of my brothers as stupid when my friends could obviously win some sort of high-class award for stupidity, like... the Pulitzer Prize or something.
I'm about to press the little button that unlocks them (it'll take a while because my eyes are blurring with hopeless tears at my friends' stupidity) when my phone rings in my pocket. I can tell by the ringtone whom it is, since I only have... Hero, Nonno, Romeo, Bella, Eliza, Michelle, Hero, and Antonio in my phone and they each have their own ringtones. But anyways, it's Romeo who's calling. His song is this weird, Australian take on this classic Italian song from the fifties. It's WEIRD, but they kind of use speaking Italian as a way to get girls, so it fits Romeo pretty well.
"Hello?" I ask quietly, hoping this isn't him calling to, I dunno, talk or something, because I've always sucked at those talks where everyone expects you to give them a fucking piece of your soul and you're just like, "Ahm, actually, that's okay..."
"Lovino?"
"This is my phone number," I say crossly.
"Um, yeah, well, see, I need y-your, um, help with something..."
I nearly throw my phone with surprise. Did Romeo just seriously ignore me almost-insulting him? Say WHAT?! "What do you need help with?" I ask carefully.
"W-well, th-there's this girl I like... her name is Lili Zwingli, she's in my class." Zwingli... that sounds kinda familiar somehow. Eh.
I roll my eyes. "Romeo, there's always 'this girl I like' and you always act like she's the one-"
"No, but fratello, I'm serious about this one! Really and truly I am! She's beautiful, but not just on the outside! I actually spoke with her- like, a proper conversation, y'know, with words and talking and- and guess what? She likes Harry Potter as much as I do!" Yeah, Romeo and I are shameless Harry Potter geeks. Actually, we tried to start a highschool Harry Potter Debate Club, but that didn't work out because we were the only one learned enough in Harry Potter Geek to actually hold a conversation with, well, each other...
"That's actually impossible, fratellino," I inform him. "You were trained by the best- me, and there's no way in hell she can know as much about Harry Potter as I do! I've read all the books five times, except for numbers one and six, I've read those one's six times."
"Yeah, but she's read them all six times!" he says smugly.
"WHAT?!" I shriek. "That's impossible! I'm reading all of them again tomorrow!"
"Not if I read them fi- but wait, I want your advice, fratello!"
"About what?" I ask warily.
"Well, how should I get her to like me?"
I sigh. I don't understand why, but whenever any of my friends or relatives (Nonno included!) need relationship advice, they all go to me, which is weird because I've never, ever been in a proper relationship before. I mean, sure, I've kissed a few girls before, but that was mostly their fault, if not completely by accident. Also, I'm still... ah, well, I suppose this is embarrassing, but... I haven't... actually... um, done it with anyone before... DON'T LAUGH! I just never found the right person! Fucking Christ!
"I don't know," I tell him finally. "Figure it out your fucking self!"
"But Lovinooooooo~!" he whines.
"Fine, fine! I guess you should go, like, talk to her or something, right? Get to know her, and then, when you think the time is right, just tell her that you love her, I guess."
"Oh! So should I go to her dorm room right now and talk to her? She's got a friend there, I swear, her name is Mai, and I'll even ask her to talk outside with me, not in her room, so can I please go talk to her?"
"Why are you asking me?" I ask crossly. "Go do whatever the fuck you want."
"Okay, I'm going right now~!" he says happily, hanging up the phone. I sigh and shove my phone back into my pocket, then finally free myself from these goddamn handcuffs and stand up, brushing my clothes off, just in case they've gotten dirty.
"Zwingli," I say thoughtfully to myself. "Where have I heard that name before?" It reminds me of guns for some reason, but that can't be right- oh shit. Oh shit. OH SHIT. I quickly grab my phone and dial Romeo's number, waiting impatiently for him to pick up and cursing when he doesn't. I call again. "Come on, fratellino, pick the fuck up!" I nearly throw my phone across the stupid fucking room when he doesn't. I race outside quickly, trying to remember where Vash Zwingli- Lili's blond, overprotective, gun-crazy brother -has his room. It's near his sister's, I think, and the first number starts with a three- holy shitting popsicles, it's right next to An- Anto- Antonio's r-room...
(Insert awful session of wondering if I should just leave Romeo to die here.)
"Fuck it all!" I shout, beginning to run down the hallway towards Antonio's room. How long would it have taken Romeo to reach Lili's room, which Vash probably has under surveillance? Um, right about now. How long for Vash to notice him? Right about now. How long for me to reach Vash's room? TOO FUCKING LONG! Cursing, I pull out my phone once more and dial Antonio, swearing under my breath at him for being to slow even if he does answer right after the second ring.
"Hello?" he asks happily.
"Antonio, there'll be a pissed-off-looking blond guy leaving the room next door to yours any second now. Under no circumstances are you to let him leave." I say dangerously.
"Okay~!" he says happily. I can practically hear him saluting over the phone. Oh god, he's such a... he's so... FUCK. I was not going to say cute right there! Shut UP!
"Bye," I grumble, hanging up my phone a-fucking-gain before taking off once more, running as fast as I can (which is actually surprisingly fast) so as to try to reach Vash before he kills my little brother. Of course, I don't know if I'll be able to, like, stop the guy, but I'll do my goddamn best to make him go deaf with my shouting and insults! It's what he deserves if he thinks he's gonna mess around with my baby brother, damn them all to hell!
A/N Yay for cliffhangers! HAHAHAHAHA! Dontcha love me?! X3
And also, do you like how I say I won't be updating as often, so I update anyways?! Yeah...
Anyways, reviews equal love, and you ALL loooooooove me, don't you?! :3 (Also, if you review then Lovino and Antonio get love too~!)