Nick and Jess made their way to the small chapel room where the ceremony was set to take place, walking hand in hand. They were taking their time, still wondering when, or even if, Schmidt and Cece would be getting married. Just as they walked into the quiet room full of white wooden pews, Nick's phone began to vibrate in his jacket pocket and he stopped in his tracks, dropping Jess' hand.
"Hmm, Hold on."
Pulling out his phone, he laughed at the screen and held it up to Jess. She just rolled her eyes, reading it out loud. "Wedding 30 min. You better be wearing a tux."
"Like I had a choice."
Jess gave him a shove. "You love it."
Nick just shook his head as she crossed her arms in front of her. "God, it's freezing in here."
"Wait,... take this." Nick took off his jacket and held it out for her to put on, smiling as he ran his hands along her arms. "Better?" She nodded with a huge grin on her face as a laugh escaped his lips. He couldn't help but notice how adorable she looked in a red satin gown and his big jacket around her shoulders. Just as he was about to say something, his phone began to vibrate again in the jacket pocket.
He rolled his eyes and smiled as he reached in to grab it. "Wonder what he wants now."
Jess laughed loudly, smiling at him as he looked down at the phone.
Nick's expression fell when he saw the name on the caller ID. He forced a quick smile and held up his index finger. She squinted her eyes, watching him take a deep breath as he pushed the button, turning his back toward Jess and taking a few steps away from her.
"Hello?"
May I please speak with a Mr. Nick Miller?
Nick gulped, closing his eyes. "Yes, this is Mr. Miller"
I just wanted to call you back about the final decision on your loan application. Unfortunately, there isn't anything else we can do for you at this time.
"okay, but..." His heart sank, staring straight ahead at the doorway, just wanting to run away.
We've looked at offering a higher rate, but even with the deal you've reached with the owner, it just doesn't make financial sense for us to take the risk.
He paused, taking a deep breath, before answering solemnly. "Yeah, I understand. Well, thanks for trying."
Good luck to you. So sorry we couldn't make this work.
"Sure...Bye."
Nick's body tensed as he spoke, his shoulders sagging forward. He took a deep breath and clicked off the phone, afraid to turn around and face her. Why was this happening? Finally, FINALLY he had made moves. He had made so much effort this year; for himself, for Jess, for their future. Now it was all gone. He had nothing left to offer this woman. No matter what he did, those years where he just breezed through life, not caring, would always be there to torment him. To tell him he wasn't good enough. It was like his father was just replaced by every bad decision he had ever made.
Maybe he wasn't good enough for Jessica Day, maybe he never would be. She had been the best part of his day for the last three years. She had burst into his life with her bright eyes and pretty dresses and had made him a better person. He wanted more than anything to do even one thing for her, just one thing to prove that she made everything that was hard in life worth the risk.
Jess stared at him worried, waiting patiently for him to turn back around. Finally, she couldn't stand it any longer and she stepped closer to place a hand gently on his shoulder. "Nick?"
Nick's face fell as he turned to her, dropping the phone in his pants pocket in defeat. Jess reached out to grab his arm, shaking her head in confusion. He mumbled under his breath, "I failed, Jess. It's over."
She narrowed her eyes and tried to catch his gaze. "What's over, Nick?" He looked at the floor, her hand gripping tighter. "I don't understand. What are you talking about?"
He took a step backwards, pulling away from her grasp on his arm. "Forget it, I just...I need a minute."
"Nick, wait." He took another few steps backward. "NICK!"
"Stop." He blinked back tears. "Please, just... stop." He held up his hands and gritted his teeth. "It's fine. I just...I really thought I had finally figured it out, you know?"
Her eyes frantically darted back and forth, trying to read his expression and understand what was happening. None of this was making any sense. "Figured out what? Damn it Nick, what are you talking about? You're scaring me..."
"Just forget it..."
Her voice was louder, her breath becoming ragged. "No, I'm not going to forget it. Not until you tell me what's going on!"
He just shook his head. "It doesn't matter now."
"Well it does to me! Who was that, Nick? Tell me right now." She paused, seeing how upset he was, and her voice softened. "What did they say to you?"
"Remember what your dad said last year? He was right. I'm a failure."
Jess' face fell and she shook her head. "No. No he was not. Look at everything you've accomplished this year, Nick. I don't know who that was or what they said to you, but you have to believe you are not a failure. I love you. Please don't..."
"You don't understand." He looked in her eyes, pained by the sad expression on her face. The last thing he had wanted from all this was to hurt her. "This past year has been incredible, Jess. We came here and I was going to..." He stopped short, inhaling quickly and looking at the floor.
Jess shook her head again, even more confused than before. "What?... Will you just talk to me." She felt tears burning her eyes, a sudden wave of anxiety washing over her. She cautiously took a step toward him, twisting her hands nervously. "Please trust me. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'll help you."
Nick managed a weak smile. "It's okay, Jess. It's just...Look, I need some time alone okay." She looked at him with concern, resisting the urge to take him into her arms and hold him. He took a deep breath and reached out tentatively to touch her cheek. He felt so ashamed that he hadn't been able to do even this one thing to ensure their future. "I'm fine, really. I know you're worried."
She took a deep breath, reaching up to grab his hand on her face. "I just want to help you. Why won't you let me?"
"I'm not running away this time, I promise. I just need some time to think." He let go of her hand and turned around, heading quickly towards the doors.
Jess watched as he shook his head, shoulders tense and his hands clenched at his sides. She wanted to be there for him, prove to him that she was willing to do anything to make him happy. She wanted him to finally realize that whatever he needed, she would be there.
She wanted...
She took a few deep breaths, and confidently brushed a curl off her face. Taking several determined strides forward, she reached out to grab his hand. He stopped abruptly, before turning around with an unreadable expression across his face. He squinted his eyes and stared intently at Jess, seeing her chest heaving as she caught her breath.
To hell with everything she thought about romance, and how things should be, or the fact that nothing seemed to ever work out the way you planned.
She didn't care anymore.
Nothing else mattered to her, but him.
She stepped closer, squeezing his hand firmly. She gently tilted her head as she inhaled sharply, her voice barely a whisper. "Marry me, Miller."
He stood motionless, his eyes not leaving hers. Stunned, he blinked several times as his tongue began a nervous path along the inside of his lips.
Jess shook her head, her gaze fixed on his. "No more running. No more doubts. Just you and me." He stared at her for a few moments in shock, unable to formulate a coherent thought in his head.
"I want this, Nick. You're everything to me and..." Her tone was pleading, a quiet desperation for him to finally understand what he meant to her.
He finally mustered out a weak response. "Jess, I..." Swallowing hard, his voice quiet and eyes still fixed on hers.
"You are..." She squeezed his hand again.. She felt the words tumbling out of her mouth, unable to stop them as her voice got louder. "You're all I want, and I'm all in...for good." Her eyes were bright and glassy, as her breathing quickened.
"JESS..." A smile was starting to form across his lips as his voice got louder, the gravity of what she had said finally sinking in.
"Nick, I..." She gasped for air, suddenly feeling like nothing she was saying was making any sense. All she could do was stand there and hope that the words that was allowing to escape her mouth wouldn't scare him away, that he wanted the same thing that she did. She felt a tightness in her chest, a momentary second of doubt that he was going to run away, and that she had taken this too far. But she needed to get it out... She was gasping for air now. "I want to be your wife, so...please, just..."
"JESSICA!" Nick's voice was loud, overwhelmed with what had just happened. He gasped, quickly blurting out in one long, exasperated breath, "Jessica, will you just stop talking for one second and look in the damn pocket!"
Jess' head snapped back in shocked silence at his outburst, her eyes wide. "What are you..." Her voice quivered, as she blinked back tears.
Nick smiled and lowered his voice, his eyes sparkling. "My jacket pocket." He nodded toward the jacket that she was wearing, as she shoved her hands in the pockets in frustration, the expression on her face falling. Was he even listening to what she just said?! Why wouldn't he answer her? She stopped when her right hand hit something, her head dropping toward the ground. She closed her hand and slowly pulled her fist out of his coat pocket. Her hand hovered in front of her as she raised her head to look at Nick. He stepped closer, wrapping both hands around her fist.
He let out a little laugh and reached up to brush a strand of hair off her cheek. "Jessica Day, you are THE most frustrating, annoying, crazy" He smiled and continued, even more softly, shaking his head "...sweet, beautiful, caring, and," his voice cracked slightly, his gaze unable to leave hers, "AMAZING woman I have ever met and," He ran his fingers gently over her fist in his hands, nodding towards her playfully.
"Say it again," he whispered.
She relaxed her hand into his, her eyes staring directly at him. For a brief moment she closed her eyes to steady herself against the dizziness she was feeling. Taking one last deep breath, she opened her eyes slowly to find him staring back at her with an intensity she had never seen before. His eyes were almost teasing her, a strange expression across his face.
Her voice caught in her throat. "Marry me."
He smiled as he gently scraped his fingers along her palm to grab what she had been holding in her hand.
He slowly slid something smooth over her finger. "Yes."
They stood there staring into each other's eyes, slightly in shock and neither one of them able to speak. Jess felt tears forming in her eyes as she quietly started laughing. She threw her arms around his neck, as he hugged her tight to his chest, both of them now laughing. Her fingers pulled at his shirt as she held onto him, squeezing her eyes closed to catch her breath. When she finally loosened her grip on him, Nick heard a loud gasp in his ear and he pulled Jess away. Her eyes were wide as she slid her left hand down over his shoulder and onto his chest, seeing the ring on her finger for the first time.
She gasped, "but I thought...This is..." She stared in awe and confusion at the beautiful ring on her finger. Her eyes traveling to Nick's and back to her finger. Wasn't this the ring he was hiding for Schmidt and Cece? She gave Nick a questioning look, eyes wide.
He just smiled, reaching up to run his thumb along her cheek. "It was always yours."
She shook her head and gently touched the ring. "I don't understand. How did you...?" She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "So Schmidt and Winston knew this whole time?"
He shook his head. "No. I had something else planned, but..." His voice cracked. "This is what I really wanted. For a long time."
She gave a little laugh and slapped his chest playfully. "So that's why you looked so terrified when I found this." Her voice suddenly caught in her throat at the realization, as her expression fell. "Oh God Nick, I am so sorry I ruined all of this." She swallowed hard. "I feel like I've messed up so much on this trip, I'm sor..." Nick interrupted her with a passionate kiss. She smiled against his lips and brought her hands up around his neck as his arms wrapped around her waist. When they broke apart, she laid her head on his chest, trying to hide the fact that she was starting to cry.
Nick pulled away and squatted down in front of her. "Hey...noooooo. Why are you upset? Please don't cry Jess."
She tried to speak through her tears. "But I ruined your plans and ..."
He laughed. "And I was too nervous, and once again, too stupid to just trust in what we have and held back so many times when I planned to propose." He put a finger under her chin, tilting her head. She stubbornly kept her eyes down, a frown on her face. He took her face in both his hands and rubbed his thumbs under her eyes until she looked into his. "And then this beautiful woman, who I still don't deserve, just grabs my hand and asks me instead." A small laugh escaped her lips and she nodded. He kissed her softly.
"I love you Nick and I know you've been trying so hard, but... I don't care if you want to keep managing the bar, or do something else, I just want you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted. I only was excited because you seemed to want all that. Are you happy?" Her eyes pleaded with him. "Please tell me what that call was all about. I want to help you."
"I want." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. It was time to tell her the truth. He took both her hands in his and squeezed them hard, looking her directly in the eye. He had to trust that he could be honest with her, especially now. He whispered. "I love working at the bar. It wasn't about that, I..." Her eyes were still, encouraging him to continue.
She shook her head slowly. "It's okay, Nick. Just be honest, that's all I can ask."
He nodded. "I knew I was serious about this the day I ran out of that hotel last year. I just wanted to be the person you deserved."
She smiled and brushed her hand up through his hair. "You already are."
"But you were so supportive, I didn't want to disappoint you...again."
"Nick, you have NEVER disappointed me. I was just excited, because I thought it's what you wanted. You know I'd be behind you no matter what you chose." Her hand settled on his shoulder, gently shaking him. "Please tell me you know that." She tilted her head and stared deep into his eyes. "No matter how stupid it gets. Remember?"
He smiled slowly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tight to his chest. Her chin settled on his shoulder and he whispered in her ear, finally confident that he could tell her everything. "Before we left, ...I offered to buy the bar." He closed his eyes, steeling himself for her reaction, not sure of how she would respond.
Jess' eyes widened and she froze for a moment, Nick feeling her body tense against him. She slowly pulled away. His brow furrowed with a worried look in his eyes. Her words were slow and deliberate. "You what?"
He swallowed and squinted his eyes, his next words more of a question than a statement. "I want to buy the bar..."
"Buy the bar?" She shook her head confused, eyes searching his. "But how? I mean, it's for sale?"
He took a deep breath. "No one knows yet, Clyde agreed to give me a few weeks before he officially puts it up for sale." His voice fell, a disappointed look on his face. "I just...I couldn't get the loan. That's what the call was about."
Jess studied his eyes for a minute and bit her lip sadly. "Why wouldn't you tell me that? Did you think I'd be mad?" She dropped her hands to her side, her voice becoming angry in disbelief. "I don't understand, Nick."
Nick winced, but continued. The words started spill out of his mouth in a jumbled mess. "I was going to tell you, I swear Jess. We got so mixed up in Schmidt's crazy scheme to come here to elope, and then I bought your ring...I thought I'd wait to hear back about the loan because you'd never say yes if I just wanted to own a bar on a whim and didn't know what I was doing..."
Jess jumped into his arms, clutching onto his neck and crashing her lips onto his. She tried to speak as she caught her breath, punctuated by quick kisses to his lips. "I want what you want. And...if my husband wants to own a bar, then..." She leaned back to smile up at him, her eyes sparkling. "Then we're going to buy a bar." She took a deep breath. "Tell me what I need to do and I'll do it."
Nick shook his head in shock. "We?"
"YES. WE." She started laughing as he wrapped her up in his arms, lifting her feet off the floor in excitement.
They stopped laughing and Nick set her down, both still grinning. "I love you, you know."
She slapped his chest playfully. "I love you too, you clown! Let's do this."
Nick's face fell slightly. "You realize though, that if we buy the bar, we're probably going to be stuck in that loft until our kids graduate college. It's a huge risk, Jess. But if I didn't think I could do it, I swear to you I would walk away." He took a deep breath, his eyes intense. "This loan? It's a big deal. I can't ask you to do this if you have any doubts at all."
"No doubts." Jess kissed his cheek softly. "If you think you can do this, then I trust you, Nick. We can do this." Her voice got softer. "You can do this. It's going to be okay, you'll see."
A huge smile crept across Nick's face. "You're amazing you know that? We are going to do this. I'm not going to let you down."
She ran her fingers lightly through his hair before cupping his face in her hands. "I know you aren't. I won't let you." He took a deep breath and sunk into her lips in a passionate kiss. His arms wrapped around her back, hands tangling in her hair as she clutched his shirt to pull him closer.
Slowly pulling away, he gave her one last, soft kiss. "We'll move out on our own someday, Jess." He gritted his teeth, his hands tightening on her waist. "I promise."
"I know. We'll figure it out..." Jess laughed softly, shaking her head. "I don't care if we live in that loft forever," She winked and shrugged her shoulders. "as long as we're together."
His face became serious as he leaned in to kiss her again, his heart full of excitement and relief that he was finally going to spend the rest of his life with this woman. Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he buried his face in her hair and thought of how much his life had changed and how much of it was because of Jess. She had made him want to do things, make grown up moves, and now this amazing person was going to be with him every step of the way.
Pulling back, he rested his forehead to hers and she brought her hand to his chest to once again look at her ring. "This is so perfect, Nick. I can't believe this is happening."
He pulled back and squinted his eyes at her, a devious grin on his face. "I can't believe I get to tell everyone I accepted your proposal."
She burst out laughing and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Let's not tell anyone just yet. Let them have their day?"
He gave her a quick kiss and nodded. "You got it."
She bit her lip and smiled, grabbing his face in her hands. "But I won't be able to wait long."