Sorry about the flashback not being in a different style last chapter, I had written them that way, don't know what happened? Anyway. Lucy, yeah you get the feeling that Camille is to sane for the Mercer family lol. Think you have to be at least a little bit crazy to be able to deal. I'm taking this gradually, but I have to say I can't wait to get Bobby home lol, gonna be so much fun to write about him being confined there. Yeah I'm a bit evil too. I don't own four brothers.

Sometimes when his body was too tired to go on, he slept. And when he slept, the dreams came. After the meet on the ice everything had been put on hold while they stayed at Bobby's side. Nothing had been more important than Bobby waking up. Worry and guilt had consumed him, and he'd been unable to think about anything else than him, and everything he himself had done wrong. Then Bobby woke up.

It was still all he thought about, his recovery, his worry that one day he wouldn't wake up. The nights was another thing. For as long as he could remember he had had nightmares. He had learned early on that the monsters in the closet were very real and would hurt you if they reached you.

In these dreams no monster was out to get him, it was after someone else and he was unable to stop it. He tried to avoid sleeping as much as he could, but sometimes he was unable to fight the pull and he went under.

Even these dreams weren't new to him. After he had arrived at the Mercer's and had formed a bound with them, and especially Bobby, many of his dreams had ended with Bobby dying or Bobby leaving, so that part wasn't new, but the monster was. Sometimes Bobby died in his arms outside their house in the cold snow, sometimes Sweet killed him himself and Jack was unable to stop it, couldn't reach them in time. But he always died in his arms.

Jack figured the dreams were part of his punishment. Because he knew as sure as Bobby lay sleeping in the bed next to him that it was his time that day. He should have died. He didn't know how he knew but he knew that his life would have ended that day in the white snow, if Bobby hadn't saved him.

He wished he would have died that day.

"What are you doing?"

He dropped the knife in shock and spun around. The sight of his oldest brother's narrowed eyes and mouth tightly drawn together caused him to swallow hard. "Nothing. I was" He took a breath and tried to steady his voice "I was just gonna cut the ham… for dinner. Ma asked for help, with dinner". Stupid!

"Really?"

He didn't believe him. Fucking shit. He could see it in his eyes. Heard it in his voice. Why did he ever try to lie to Bobby anyway, somehow he always knew.

"Oh good Jack, let me help you"

Evelyn sweeped in, a smile on her face.

"It's okay Ma I got it" He met Bobby's eyes, the message in his own clear. See? I wasn't lying…

"I'll help the little fairy Ma, I think he's a bit confused, he's staring at the knife like he's in love with the freaking thing".

That last part was only for Jack's ears. There was no fooling Bobby.

He hadn't thought about it since it happened. He didn't think it was strange, or normal, or anything else, cause he didn't think about it. In his mind it wasn't important. It had been before. It had consumed him,made him burn and ache for revenge. He had burned with the need to inflict pain on someone else. But when it was done he had pushed it to the back of his mind along with everything else, cause he could only think about Bobby. He didn't think about that he had killed people, not even the fact that he had killed someone in cold blood. That was why he was shocked one night when his thoughts turned to that day on the ice. In his mind he saw Sweet before him on his knees. He remembered the feel of the gun in his hand and the sound it gave off. He rememebered Sweet's empty eyes.

He was dosing in his usual chair the first time he dreamed about it. He woke to the sound of the shot and found Angel staring at him. He was sweating and he took a deep breath and tried to will his heart to slow down. A wave of nausea hit him and he stumbled to his feet and hurried to the small bathroom in Bobby's room. He fell to his knees beside the toilet just in time to empty his stomach. When he was done he felt the hand on his back rubbing softly. He took a breath and tried to relax, tried the force the tension from his body.

Angel didn't speak, and Jack was grateful. Words hurt so much, and right now he couldn't take it. Sometimes it just hurt to damn much to even think.

Bobby was angry. Jack was an expert in reading people, and a pissed off Bobby was kind of hard to miss. He had come home a while ago and went straight to his room. The slam of the door traveled through the house until it reached Jack and Evelyn sitting on the couch watching one of those old movies that Evelyn loved. This time it was "From here to eternity". Jack found himself liking the movie, or maybe it was just the comfort he got from sitting next to Evelyn on the couch, a blanket over their legs.

The slam of the door told Evelyn something was wrong and she stood and gave Jack a small smile "I'll be right back Jackie".

His worried eyes followed her through the room. Ten minutes passed and Evelyn didn't come back, and neither did Bobby. Jack was just debating on sneaking up when angry footsteps on the stairs alerted him to the fact that someone was coming down, Bobby, from the sound if it. He stopped in front of the door and grabbed his jacket. Jack quickly got up and moved closer to the door. Evelyn came down the stairs and grabbed a hold of Bobby's arm and Jack winced. Neither noticed him peering around the corner.

"Stop" Evelyn's voice was firm but Jack could hear the worry in it. He figured Bobby could too, if he wasn't to angry. "Think about this Bobby, what are you gonna do?"

Bobby's eyes were hard and cold, the glint in them making the brown seem almost black, but when he met Evelyn's eyes they seemed to soften, although the edge still remained. His voice was low but Jack could hear the steel in it underneath the softness he displayed now. "You know what I'm gonna do"

"I know. And you know I can't stop you. But please Bobby, think about this"

"I have!" His voice raised a little "I have to"

"You want to" Evelyn corrected.

He didn't deny that. "I'm sorry". He was sorry. It was obvious to Jack in the way he watched Evelyn, but he could also see that he wasn't going to change his mind. It was set.

"Oh Bobby" Evelyn shook her head slowly and Jack could see the sad look on her face "Don't be sorry, just listen to me. This is not going to change anything"

"I just can't let this go Ma! You don't understand, if I do…"

"What? Are they gonna think that you're weak?"

The silence was answer enough.

"What about Jack?"

Jack held in a gasp.

"What about Jack?" Bobby asked.

"Who's gonna look after him when you're in jail for murder?" This time her words were direct, like an arrow making it's way to the softest part of the human body. The part that cared.

"I'm not going to jail Ma"

Jack pressed a hand against his mouth. Murder? Jail? Who was he gonna kill? He had always known that his brothers had their own moral compass, but if Bobby killed someone and went to jail… he would leave. Maybe for a long time.

"You don't know that, and neither do I. But what I do know is that he needs you Bobby, more than he needs me. And I want you to think about that" Evelyn released Bobby's arm and stroked his cheek lightly. "This is not just about you anymore son, you have people here who need you, now even more. I can't make you stay, or stop you from what you feel that you need to do, but I want you to think about that".

Evelyn moved towards the livingroom and Jack stumbled backwards and hurried towards the couch.

"I want you to think about what's important. You know better than anyone else what these streets are like, are you willing to leave him to fend for himself here while you serve time in jail?"

"He has Jerry and Angel"

Even Jack could hear the catch in his voice, and the quiet way he spoke.

"You know that's not the same"

Evelyn left him in the hallway and entered the livingroom to find Jack asleep on the couch. For a moment she had forgotten he was still downstairs and she wondered if he had heard anything.

Jack's heart pounded and he listened intently for the sound of the door opening. If it did he would run for it, he would beg Bobby to stay. He would. Two minutes passed with no sound. Evelyn sat still as stone next to him. The movie continued to play.

He kept his eyes closed when someone entered the livingroom. He knew it was Bobby from the sound his shoes gave off and the way he walked. He willed his heart to slow down. He didn't know him that well yet, he just knew that he made him feel safe, and for Jack that was all that mattered. When he took a seat between him and Evelyn Jack opened his eyes. Bobby reached over and tussled his hair. Jack didn't flinch.

"Whatcha watching Jackie?"

"From here to eternity"

"Ah Ma… He's already a fairy, no need to encourage it"

Evelyn rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. Happy. Jack thought she looked happy. "Leave your brother alone Bobby, this is one of my favorites"

Bobby sighed and once again reached over to tussle Jack's hair. "You'd be lost without me kid".

I am. I'm lost Bobby. I don't know what to do anymore. It hurts so much. Jack didn't say this out loud of course. After his dream and the following reaction after it he knew he had drawn Angel's attention even more than he already had. He knew his brother meant well, but he couldn't help him with this. The only one who could wasn't able to at the moment.

Jack both dreaded and longed for the moment when Bobby would wake up again. Longed for it so he could reassure himself that he was alive, still here, but dreaded because each time he feared that he would see hatred in his brothers eyes when he looked at him. He knew Angel and Jerry didn't blame him, and he knew on some level that Bobby wouldn't hate him, but that almost made it worse. Jack knew he had let Bobby down the one time he had needed him. And it hurt.

"Evelyn please think about this, this is not some random kid, he's a murderer"

Evelyn's glare would have been enough to silence the most terrifying gangleader in it's intensity. "He's just a child. I don't want to hear you talk like that. Look at him. Look at him!" She commanded, and they both looked through the window at the angry teenager sitting in the hard plastic chair. "He's just a child" She whispered, urging Sam to understand, even if his mind didn't agree.

"He's a child that murdered his father Evelyn" Sam responded sadly "And that's not even the end of it. He's done a lot more since that happened. Trust me, this kid is too far gone, I know you want to help him and I admire you for it, but kids like him… They can't be saved. Look at where we are, what does this tell you? This is juvie Evelyn"

"I know exactly where we are Sam and you're wrong" Evelyn was convinced. She wanted to help him. She had to.

Sam sighed. He cared deeply about Evelyn, and even though he knew she would never return his affection he couldn't help but look out for her. "Is there no one else? Maybe some emergency placement?"

"There's no one else. He dosen't need placement Sam. He needs a home".

She didn't wait for him to answer her before she opened the door and closed it behind her. She noticed the way he straightened in the chair, realizing he was not alone in the room anymore. She wondered if he had to fight the urge to turn around to see who was there. She walked slowly in a wide circle around him and took a seat in front of him. She wanted to sit closer, but she could tell he wasn't ready for that and would most likely strike out if pushed. His eyes met hers and for a moment she was overwhelmed by the anger she saw there. Her heart ached when she thought of the pain which lay behind it. She pushed the thoughts away. That had been before, it was different now. Now, he had her. If he wanted to.

"Bobby. I'm Evelyn Mercer"

Angry brown eyes glared at smiling blue ones.

"Jack"

"Bobby" He said his name on a breath, like a prayer answered for the lost and lonely.

Bobby tried to move and stopped when the pain made itself known "Oh Fuck…"

"Don't move, you're hurt really bad Bobby" He swallowed hard and rested his hand against his brothers arm.

To Jack's surprise he stopped moving but his eyes kept glancing around worriedly. Jack wondered what he was looking for.

"I am? Yeah I know, I feel it but I don't know…"

"I know"

Moment of truth Jack. Trust him, trust that he wont hate you, wont blame you forever or for the rest of your life. However long or short it might be.

"What happened?"

And there it was. The one question Jack never wanted to answer. The one question whose answer made him want to cry and scream and beg for forgiveness. The one question whose answer could break him so easily.

"It's my fault" The tortured whisper seemed to reach Bobby before Jack even knew he had spoken.

"What are ya talking about?"

"I'm the reason you're in here" He closed his eyes and waited.

It was quiet for a few seconds and Jack dared to look up. He met his oldest brothers eyes and in them he saw everything play out like a movie. He knew his own were reflecting the same. Bobby's trembling finger's reached for Jack's shoulder, the bandage not visible.

"I'm fine"

"You were shot"

"You saved me" Please don't hate me.

Bobby was quiet as he felt around his own chest. Now he knew why he had been so worried about Jack every time he had some ability to form thoughts. He remembered the dream. Except it wasn't a dream, it was reality. Jack had been shot in front of their house and he had watched it happen. He had watched his little brother stand on his knees in the middle of the street, waiting for death, just a few feet away from them. He remembered the panic when he realized that Jack was gone, remembered the overwhelming fear when the shot rang out, but most of all he remembered the pain he felt when he thought he wouldn't reach him in time. In those few seconds it took to reach him he thought he would have to watch his little brother die in front of him. He remembered his little brother begging him to stay with his eyes.

Memories were floating around and he couldn't grasp them all, but one stood out. "Sweet?"

Snow. Ice. Blood. Empty eyes staring up at the sky. "He's dead"

Bobby let out a sigh of relief "Is…"

"It's over" Jack cut him off. And it was. Over and done with.

Bobby nodded. He tried to focus on Jack's face but he once again felt sleep try to pull him away. He wanted to stay, they needed to talk, but he couldn't fight it and soon his eyes were once again closed.

"I'm sorry Bobby"

But Bobby didn't hear the quiet whisper.

"I need your help".

Bobby looked up from his coffee surprised. Evelyn usually didn't ask him for much, and if she did it was about something around the house that needed fixing, but the tone of her voice told him that it was something more serious than that. He didn't speak, choosing to wait for Evelyn to tell him what it was she needed. He knew he would help her whatever it was.

"There's a boy coming" She looked at him, hoping that she was right, that this would be good for him too. That it would bring out the young man she could see behind all that anger. "His name is Jeremiah. He's been in the system for a long time, just like you".

Bobby took this in. Another boy in the house. Part of him felt kind of happy, he'd always wanted a brother, another part was worried though he would never admit it. He had no delusions about himself, he knew what he was, and if this boy was the same… He could take care of himself, but despite himself he cared about Evelyn and he already knew that he would protect her no matter what. He didn't question her though, she was tough and most likely knew what she was doing. "What do you need me to do?"

A little more Bobby, I'm finding his character very complex to write, but it's also very interesting. He's still very out of it and not in his usual jolly mood, lol. I actually can hardly wait to write that, I like his attitude. Well I can hardly wait to write at all cause I'm having so much fun with this!