Chapter Fourteen

Salt in the Wound

"The worst things in life come free to us."

Ed Sheeran, "The A Team"

"What should we do with our free day?" I ask Feli as we lay on the beds in our room.

"I don't know..." Feli moans. He's been all sad ever since he got back from our second tour of the city yesterday, and he won't tell me why.

"Well... We have to do something."

"Go make out with Antonio. I don't care."

I flush. "I'm not going to go make out with Antonio, you stupid fucker!"

He makes a face. "Oh please. You guys have totally been undressing each other with your eyes ever since last night. Well actually, longer than that, but it's starting to happen more often now…"

"N-no… You're wrong…" I say, but it's half-hearted, because we both know that I'm lying.

"Sure…"

"Anyway," I say, quickly changing the subject. "What the fuck happened to you that made you so pissed off today?"

Feliciano groaned. "Nothing… Just…" he sat up suddenly, looking at me in a sort of confusion. "Do you think that Ludwig likes me?"

I snort. "Do I look like I care?" I backtrack as his face falls. "U-um, I mean… I think he likes you…" I say this uncertainly, and that's because I am uncertain. Why the fuck does he think I'll know? I don't know anything about love- nothing!

"You might want to get a second opinion," I inform him. "Maybe from Eliza. Or Bella. They know what they're talking about."

Feli sighs. "I guess… Probably you just wanna ditch me for Antonio anyway," he says, pouting. "You like him more than me, don't you?"

I stare at him for a moment, slack jawed with surprise. "I do not like him more than I like you!" I say. "You are my little brother and if I had to choose between the two of you, then god dammit I'd choose you!"

He looks surprised for a moment, and then a sweet smile lights up his face. "If you say so."

I roll my eyes. "Stupid," I say. I reach out and ruffle his hair, then roll off of my bed until I'm standing on the floor. "I'm going to go get some breakfast or something."

He sniggers. "Oh, of course. Get me an extra order of that something, would you?"

I flush. "Shut up." I gather up my nerve for a moment, then say "I don't like sharing" and run off before I can hear him laugh at me.

I walk to where Antonio is, but I don't go up to him. He's with a couple of other teacher friends and they're talking and chillin' out, doing teacher things. It's weird, because at the same time he manages to be super awesome and yet a weird, geeky teacher talking about geeky teacher stuff. One part of me is like ugh, teachers when I see him, and the other part is like I love you you stupid idiot.

I jerk out of my thoughts as he looks over at me. Our eyes meet and, almost like he pressed a button, a blush flickers across my cheeks. He grins at me, and his smile is larger and more joyful than the smile he used to talk to the teachers.

I look away, sucking my lips in an effort to keep from smiling. Stupid Antonio.

(','(','(','('.')';')';')';')

We end up doing basically nothing on the free day. No one is keeping track of any of us, so Antonio and I sneak up to his room and just lie on his bed and do stupid stuff. Like me tangling my fingers in his hair, or him making me give him "butterfly kisses," which is basically just him leaning forward until our eyelashes touch and then blinking a lot. It tickles and is stupid and it makes me laugh.

We leave for Rome again that night, and I wake up in my own bed in my own house.

Unsurprisingly, it's not just me sleeping there, of course not. Feli is curled up on one side of me and Romeo on the other. Romeo, the blanket hog, has the entire comforter wrapped around himself, leaving Feli and I to half-heartedly share the bedsheets. Feli is so cold that his entire body is pressed up against mine and he's making me cold. Both of my brothers are such little shits.

I grab the blankets wrapped around Romeo and yank on them, dragging them over myself and Feliciano. I turn over and am just beginning to settle back down to sleep when I realize I really have to pee. Like, really bad.

I try to ignore it at first, but it's literally impossible, so I finally slither out from between my brothers. I walk unsteadily across the mattress and then slide off the bed. Yawning, I reach up to rub at my eyes, then pad from the room.

I'm just coming out of the bathroom when the front door downstairs is suddenly opened. Well, not regularly opened, but slammed open, which is the only reason I would be able to hear it from all the way up here.

I step down the first couple of steps and peer down. I can see that the front door is open, but I can't see anyone else.

I go down a bit further, and then I can hear Nonno talking. He's trying to be quiet, I know, but… he's not really managing it.

"You've finally come, huh?" he asks. "I thought you wouldn't come. You said you didn't have any time."

I walk further down the stairs, intrigued. Who the hell is here? Is it someone from the Mafia? Has Nonno been involved with the Mafia this whole time and that's how we're so rich?!

"Of course I came," says a voice that makes my blood run cold. "I have to get my son back, don't I?"

"Sons," Nonno corrects icily. "You have three of them. Remember?"

I walk quickly but quietly down the rest of the stairs until I'm on the landing and can finally see the person who opened the door in the middle of the night. It's my mother.

"I only have one son that I care for," she says coldly. "Now, Gianni is at a hotel. Bring Feliciano down here. We're taking him back home."

"I'm fairly certain that, if Feli ran away to here in the first place, he doesn't want to go home with you," Nonno says.

I drink in the sight of my mother. She's got dark hair, like mine. When it's down, it's past her shoulders, but now it's back in a very tight bun. She's wearing a gray blazer over a white button-down shirt and a pencil skirt. I can't see her shoes, but I know that they're slightly heeled and look smart on her.

"Feliciano will change his mind," she says coldly. "He always does."

"He doesn't always run away to Italy though! He's happy here, Cassandra. Leave him alone."

"No," she says tightly. "He is our heir. He's a prodigy. He's the only one of our sons that's worth something."

Normally this would make me feel terrible and useless, but for once the only thing I can think about is Romeo. He was so small when we moved here. He doesn't even remember what our parents look like. I asked him once, and he described our mother has having glasses. Glasses. She began using contacts so many years ago that I almost can't remember her with actual glasses.

"Everyone is worth something," Nonno says tiredly. "How many times must I tell you that?"

"Until it becomes true," she says. "Now, where is my son? Hand him over."

I lean my head over the railing, feeling strangely calm. "He's not an object," I call down to them.

Nonno's head jerks in my direction. He searched in the darkness until his eyes meet mine. "Lovino. Go back to bed."

"No," I say calmly.

My mother turns angrily to him. "What's this one doing here?" Her hand moves to rest on her stomach. I don't know why I'm so fixated on that fact, but I can't help but stare. She's paler than I am, and her hand looks thin against the gray of her blazer.

"I live here," I say easily. "So does Romeo. Remember him? It was an eighteen-hour delivery. I remember."

Her hand tightens into a fist, gathering her clothing in it. Oh. Of course. I suppose she remembers us, all of us, floating around inside of her stomach. I wonder if she ever looked in the mirror at her swollen tummy and thought about us. Did she know, even then, that only one of us would apparently deserve to stay with her?

"Don't you ever miss us?" I ask softly. Somehow, even though it was practically in an under breath, it carries, because I can see Nonno's eyes widen and my mother's jaw going slack. She stares up at me, fist tightening ever further, then suddenly turns and rushes back out the door, which she doesn't even bother closing.

"Lovino…" Nonno stops, shaking his head. "That was very brave of you. But it's also going to cause a lot of trouble."

I shrug. "Maybe that trouble will lead to Romeo finally meeting his parents."

(','(','(','('.')';')';')';')

I almost forget, the next morning, that my parents are here. I only remember when I walk into the kitchen to see Nonno with his elbows propped on the table and his head in his hands. He glances up as I walk in, forcing a see-through smile onto his face until he sees that it's me and there's no need to act like nothing is wrong.

I sit down next to him and we're quiet for a moment. He's absorbed in his own thoughts, and I'm waiting for the right time to ask my question. When I realize that there is no right time, I finally speak up:

"What's going to happen now?" I ask quietly.

He shakes his head, fingers bunching up in his hair. "I don't know, Lovino. You made it worse. I could have taken care of it, but you made it worse…!"

I stare at him for a moment, then snort air out through my nose. "I didn't make it any worse! I was just appealing to her humanity! Besides, whatever shit you keep doing? Yeah, it doesn't work. At all."

He looks up at me. "I'm trying, Lovino. I'm trying! I can't exactly report them for child abuse, since they're not technically doing anything! I can't keep you guys, because you belong to them…!"

I snort. "Well, just tell them that Romeo's the only straight brother, why don't you?"

As soon as I say it, I realize that I haven't actually told him yet that I'm gay.

We stare at each other for a moment, his eyes wide and staring, me frozen as if to the bone. I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. I know he won't be mad, but I don't know. I feel like coming out should be dramatic- and it would be with my parents, since they're very Catholic -or at least special. Like maybe I should have come out at a huge coming-out ceremony and popped open a bottle of champagne and gotten the gift of condoms and lube.

Plus, I basically just outed Feli. Not that it's hard to guess that he's gay as fuck, but I guess I should have let him do it in his own time…?

"Lovino… Are you gay?" he asks.

I roll my eyes. "That is literally what I just said. Like, literally I just said that Romeo is the only straight brother. And therefore, the only valuable one according to my parents, right?"

He hesitates, then nods. "Yes. They don't… want a gay son."

I shrug. "Then why don't we just tell them? Why don't we tell them about Feli and they can have Romeo."

He looks at me, then smiles wryly. "You sound like you're discussing who the weakest person in the group is so that we can sacrifice them."

I glare at him. "I just want Romeo to have parents and be happy. Feli wants to stay here; if he actually took the time to run away, there's no way in fuck he secretly wants to leave."

"What about you?"

"Me?" I ask, actually surprised. The thought hadn't even occurred to me that I could go.

"Yes, you. Don't you want to go?" He looks at me, eyes narrowed slightly.

I think about it. A while ago- hell, last year -I would have said yes in an instant. I would have said that I wanted to go more than anything else.

But… I'm starting to realize that, if even Feli left, they must be really, really awful.

Not to mention the fact that Antonio lives here, and I have never felt as safe with someone as I have with Antonio. Ever. Like, not even when I was a baby in my cradle. I've never been so close to anyone either- well, maybe when Feli and I were little, before we were separated.

"I don't want to go," I say, shrugging my shoulder. I make sure to keep eye contact with him to let him know that I'm serious. "I don't want to stay with them. Ever again. I don't even want to visit in the summer."

"You never want to see them again?" he asks carefully.

"I never want to see them again," I say firmly.

He nods, then is quiet for a moment before saying, "Lovino, do you have a boyfriend?"

I do my best not to blush, but for once it's a smile that gives me away. "No," I say, even though he knows I'm lying.

"Are you sure?" he asks, and for some reason his expression is all serious.

"...Maybe," I say.

"Can I meet him?" he presses.

I immediately shake my head. "No."

He frowns. "Why not? I'm your grandpa, Lovino. I think that I deserve to meet your boyfriend."

I keep on shaking my head. "No. Definitely not. Maybe… when I'm older." And legal.

He stares at me, and I stare back at him. "Is this going to be a problem?" he asks me calmly.

"Only if you make it one," I growl. I get up from my seat and start making coffee. "Do you want some?" I ask, trying to keep my voice light.

"Don't change the subject," he says angrily.

I whirl around. "I can take care of myself, you know."

"You're young, Lovino. When I was young…" He shakes his head. "When I was young I did stupid things. I don't want you to do the same stupid things."

I sigh, closing my eyes. I'm suddenly tired again, dammit. "I'm never going to learn not to do those stupid things unless I do them, Nonno. I think that's what most of you forget. You just want to keep us safe, and I get it, really I do." I open my eyes again and stare at him determinedly, clenching my fists.

"But if you think that I'm not going to do them just because you tell me not to, then you've already forgotten how it feels to be young and so have no say in what I do anyway."

He rolls his eyes, then laughs. "What, is this one of those stupid, life-changing chick-flicks?" he asks me.

I shrug. "You have to admit that those are closer to actual life than most things."

He sighs. "Okay then, Lovino. I can tell now that you're wise beyond your years, and so I won't pry into your business. Just tell me one thing: You're not doing anything… bad, are you?"

I shake my head. "We're not," I say softly. This time I don't even try to hold back my stupid smile. "It's really not bad at all."

He stands up, then reaches out and hugs me. I resist the hug for a moment, holding my hands tensely at my sides, but then part of me realizes that I actually want to hug him- and another part of me realizes that if I don't hug him back, he won't ever let me go. Slowly, I reach my arms out and slide them around his waist, then rest my head on his shoulder.

"You're getting taller," he says softly, rubbing my back. "I still remember when you were just born. You were so small I could pretty much hold you in one of my hands."

"You have damn big hands," I say gruffly.

We stand there for a long moment, slowly letting the sun creeping through the windows and one another warm us up, until finally footsteps sound on the stairs.

I pull away first, avoiding his gaze as I go about making the coffee once more.

"I'm guessing that they both slept in your room tonight?" he asked.

I nod in reply. "Stupid little fuckers. Can't sleep properly: By themselves."

He nods, then shrugs. "That's most of the reason why I don't want to send Romeo away, you know. He still needs you."

I shake my head. "He'll have parents in New York, Nonno. He should just go."

"I wish all three of you could go."

I smile wryly. "That's the whole reason we're doing this, isn't it? Apparently we can't all go."

We both stop talking as Romeo enters the room, rubbing at his eyes and yawning. His carrying his teddy-bear under one arm and his t-shirt is on backwards, telling me he put it on without paying proper attention.

"Feli won't get up," he slurs sleepily. "I tried everything. I even licked his cheek. He says that he doesn't want to get up."

Nonno grins. "I'll go get him then, Romeo. You help Lovino make breakfast!"

"Mm," Romeo murmurs, but as soon as Nonno leaves the room he lays his teddy-bear on the table, then rests his head on his bear. I let him doze. I feel fine- maybe better than fine, because for the first time in a long time I feel completely calm, even when thinking about my parents -and I can take care of breakfast by myself.

Nonno and Feli are just walking down the stairs when the front door is slammed open. A strange sense of deja vu comes over me as I recognize the sound from last night. I look up, almost expecting to see my mother; instead it's my father who stomps inside, looking angry and put-out, as if he ordered food at a restaurant in a certain way and they didn't bring it to him like that.

He glances from the right to the left, and then his eyes settle on me. "You," he says. He stomps toward me, and his steps are loud enough that Romeo jerks his head up, looking about sleepily.

"You," my father repeats. His voice practically trembles with anger. "What have you done?" He stops right in front of me, practically shaking, and then just stands there. It takes mE like a whole minute to realize that it's not a rhetorical question.

"What do you mean?" I ask calmly, leaning back against the counter as casually as I can. My heart is racing and my blood is pumping and I feel like my vision is going black around the edges or something, but I ignore it.

"What have you done to her?!" he asks, fists clenching at his sides. His face is growing redder and redder, like mine does when I'm embarrassed, except that he's angry and probably wouldn't mind punching my lights out.

"Oh, are you talking about my mother?" I ask pleasantly. "I was just appealing to her humanity is all. I figured she might have a close connection with the rest of us, seeing as how she carried each of us around in her stomach for nine whole months."

He breathes out heavily through his nose. "Make. Her. Better. Again," he says in a stilted way. He's starting to remind me of a really, really angry bull, and yet I'm still somehow unafraid.

"That's what I was trying to do."

The blow comes so fast I don't even see it coming. One minute he's standing there with his fists clenched at his sides, the next he's backhanded me so hard I taste blood.

I stumble to the floor and can hear Romeo screaming, screaming at the top of his lungs, but I can barely hear him through the roaring in my ears, because in the movies this is the part where he kicks me when I'm down, where I end up a bloody mess on the floor.

I look up at him from my fetal position in front of the fridge, and he looks down on me. Romeo is still screaming, sitting at the table, just screaming. I want to tell him to leave- or to shut up because Jesus -but I feel far away from everything, far away from my body.

"Don't talk back to me, boy," he says imperiously. "Just tell me how to make her better."

I snort, forcing myself to sit up. My head feels fuzzy and the side of my face is alight with pain, but I still manage to smile at him. I taste blood in my mouth, then feel it sliding across my tongue and onto my lower lip, dribbling down my chin.

"Get her to take some classes in being a good person, then," I say, because if there is one damn thing that I'm good at it's being a snarky little bitch. "She seems to be lacking some of their most prominent qualities."

He growls at me- literally, he growls -and then he turns and stomps from the room and out the door. Just like my mother, he doesn't close the door behind him, and I can see the bright blue sky outside of it as I stare after him.

Romeo isn't screaming anymore, I realize, and I can hear Nonno stomping down the stairs. Blood is still dribbling down my chin, probably staining the shirt I'm wearing, but all I can do is smile- probably a little bit crazily -after my father.

He said that there was something wrong with my mother; that must mean that she does remember carrying us in her stomach, and she remembers dressing us in little blue socks and waking up in the middle of the night to change our diapers and sing us to sleep.

Does this mean that she regrets what she's done? What she's been doing? Does this mean that she… cares?

A/N HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. UPDATING. WHAT IS THAT?!

HAHAHAHAHA. ANGST. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THAT THING!

NANOWRIMO.

*coughs* Ahem, anyway.

Okay, sorry for the lack of updates, but yeah basically I'm sorry. No smut this chapter, maybe in a later chapter, I'm not sure yet. Also, this fic will hopefully soon be coming to a close. I don't know how soon- and there's a certain arc that includes a lot of Gilbert that I'm not altogether too sure I should include -but yeah. That's just a thing that might happen and don't worry about it whatsoever.

Anyway, I'm sorry this took so long and I'm sorry for angst and I hope you like it. X3

Hey, um... Maybe you might want to check out my first-ever yuri fic? :3 It's fem!PruAus and called "Want Some"- just check my profile. Also, be warned, it might be changed to "Two Girls Kissing."

Love you all~!