Chapter Thirteen
Amie could tell something was up with Dean as soon as he entered the room. He had looked flustered and unsure, characteristics she was not accustomed to seeing from him. He seemed to calm down once he saw her, but Amie couldn't be entirely sure because she knew how good he was at hiding how he felt. After nearly knocking Kevin over to get to her and then nonchalantly kissing her, he poured himself a cup of coffee and took a seat next to her. She tried to catch his eye, but he wouldn't look at her. He just sat there, acting like nothing was out of the ordinary. Amie could tell he was hiding something.
Dean was all business as soon as he sat down. He looked at Sam and Kevin. "So, anything? Kev, you get anything off of the tablet? How to kill Abbadon? Or even how to send her back to Hell?" Kevin shook his head, black hair flopping in his eyes. Dean turned to his brother. "Sammy? Has Crowley said anything? Did you talk to him yet? He has to know something about the Knights of Hell, we just need to find out what it is."
"Wait, what?" Amie interjected. "Crowley? You guys are talking to Crowley? And who the hell is Abbadon?" She looked back and forth from Dean to Sam. When neither of the boys would look at her nor answer her, she slammed her hand down on the table, hard enough to hurt. Dean winced and Sam looked concerned. "God dammit, you guys have to tell me what the hell is going on!" Amie stood up and walked several steps away. She needed answers and she wasn't going to be distracted by Dean. "Look, I agreed to come here and go on 'lockdown,' hoping that would at least keep me in the loop." Amie could feel her voice rising, along with her temper. "You guys need to realize that I'm not some stupid, helpless female that will cower in fear in a corner, waiting for the hero to swoop in and save her. I've been hunting for more than three years, and I've managed to stay alive. I think I can deal with whatever is going on. Now somebody start talking."
Amie waited. Dean and Sam looked at each other. Sam took a breath, opened his mouth and then closed it again. Dean just looked at her, not saying anything. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kevin shift uncomfortably. She had almost forgotten he was there.
Kevin spoke up. "Crowley's here. Locked up. He's been here for a while." He looked at Dean and Sam and shrugged. "Sorry, guys."
Amie tried to breathe. She was pissed, more pissed than she had been in a long time. All the talk about figuring this out together, working together, had been just a line of bullshit. They were hiding things from her, so either they thought she couldn't handle it or they thought they couldn't trust her. Damn Winchesters! They were always so pompous and full of themselves. She clenched and unclenched her hands, feeling the need to punch something. Preferably Dean. She should have known honesty was way more than Dean could handle.
Without saying a word, Amie turned to leave the room. She noticed Dean get up to follow her. She put her hand up and said, "Don't. Seriously. Don't follow me Dean. Not now."
She practically ran back to her room. She pushed the door closed and turned the lock. She felt the tears coming, threatening to overwhelm her. She slid to the floor, wrapped her arms around her legs, rested her head on her knees and let the tears flow. All of the anger, pain and frustration of the last few days came to the surface. She pressed her lips together, trying to stifle the sobs.
Amie cried until she was exhausted and drained. She managed to push herself into a standing position and stagger to the bed. She had only slept four hours the night before and the crying stint she'd just had took a lot out of her. She threw herself on the bed, hoping against hope that she could sleep for just a little while. Her sleeping pills were in the glove box of the Mini, she hadn't grabbed them when they hid the car. She would just have to try to sleep on her own.
After about 45 minutes of staring at the wall, Amie decided sleeping was apparently out of the question. She propped some pillows against the headboard and sat up. Her brain was in overdrive, thoughts tumbling through her mind one after another. She couldn't sort them out. She rubbed her hand across her face and through her hair. Frustration and uncertainty made her rethink every decision she had made in the last two days—trusting the boys, agreeing to come to the bunker, even her choice to try to have a relationship with Dean. She was going to have to stay away from Dean for the next few days. She needed to figure out what she wanted to do. What she needed to do. Amie knew Dean came with baggage, after all that was the Winchester way. He was intense, guilt-ridden, over-the-top and difficult to reason with, and she had to decide if that mattered or not. She did know that she wanted him there at night when she fell asleep and there when she woke up. She wanted his arms around her and his lips on hers. She wanted Dean and no one else. Truth be told, she was in love with Dean. But was it going to be worth everything that came with it?
Just then there was a knock on the door. It had to be Dean. He would swoop in here and try to charm her into forgetting that he hadn't been honest or trusted her enough to tell her the truth. Amie stood up and crossed to the door. Just before opening it, she took a minute to give herself a pep talk. She wouldn't fall for his charms, she wouldn't fall victim to those gorgeous green eyes or that irresistible smirk. She pulled the door open.
But instead of Dean standing on the other side of the door, it was Sam.
"Hi," he said quietly. "Can I come in for a minute?"
"Umm, yeah, sure." Amie pulled the door open all the way and backed into the room. Sam followed her in, leaving the door open behind him. Amie sat down on the bed and watched Sam sit stiffly in an uncomfortable wooden chair by the small table.
Amie spoke first. "I wasn't expecting you. I figured Dean would come in here and try to charm me into not being angry. What, did you guys decide that maybe the innocent, puppy-dog-eyes would work better? Or are you paving the way for him, trying to smooth things over?"
Sam looked uncomfortable. "Good," Amie thought. She waited impatiently for him to say something, her foot tapping on the floor.
"Look, I know you're pissed. And for good reason. We should have told you about Crowley and Abbadon. But really, we're flying by the seat of our pants here. Figuring it out as we go along." Sam stopped and seemed to think about the next thing he was going to say. He scooted forward on the chair and lowered his voice. "Try not to be too mad at him, Amie. His intentions were good. He was trying to protect you."
"Do not talk to me about good intentions," Amie hissed. "Don't patronize me. That's not the way the world we live in works. Good intentions don't mean shit, Sam, and you know it, probably better than anyone. I don't need nor do I want to be protected. I can take care of myself."
Amie closed her eyes, putting her head in her hands. No sound came from Sam for the next few minutes. When Amie finally looked at Sam, he was just watching her, waiting. "I really can take care of myself."
"I know that, I really do. And I think Dean does too. But he is a natural protector, so you aren't going to change him. He just wants to keep you safe." Sam's eyes pleaded with Amie to understand.
"Keep me safe from what?" Amie asked, exasperated.
Sam shrugged. "Abbadon. Crowley. Everything. He really wasn't trying to piss you off. We talked about it and I know he's sorry." Amie made a point of looking around the room.
"He would have come in here himself, but he was afraid you'd shoot him." Sam grinned. "Where is your gun, anyway?"
Amie pointed to the nightstand, where her gun was next to the lamp. Sam laughed again. "Look, why don't you come out and help us? We think we have a lead on a demon that may have helped Abbadon. I promise, we'll tell you as much as we can, or at least as much as we know. Okay?"
Amie nodded in agreement. "This doesn't mean those puppy dog eyes worked though. And I'm still pissed." She didn't plan on forgiving anybody that easily. First, she'd have to see how things went for the next couple of days.