Chapter Fifteen

Missing Pieces

"'Cos you break me, you numb me

you still seem to stun me, this pain has outrun me,

you are all I have left."

Ed Sheeran, "You Break Me"

A week passes, then another, and neither of our parents come back.

Antonio asked about the bruise on my face just after class the next day, and I told him I'd tell him later, but I never did. I haven't seen him, actually- at least, not outside of school. Nonno says we have to be careful about what we do, because our parents are weird and honestly? They might be spying on us all.

But… after two weeks, I really want to spend some actual, real time with Antonio. You know, where he's not my teacher and is instead my super duper hot boyfriend who kind of had sex with me one time.

And yeah, by "real time" I do kind of pretty much mean sex, but I mean, that's basically the only way boyfriends differentiate from regular friends that are boys, right? You can talk with them, laugh with them, curl up with them and watch movies, and you can also fuck them.

Since the last time we saw each other, two weeks okay, I've been thinking a lot. And when I say "thinking" I, in all honesty, mean masturbating. Practicing. To do a special thing that I want to do with Antonio.

I mean, I figure fingers aren't as big as an actual dick, but yeah.

Anyway. So. There's my motive.

…

Yyyyyyep.

Of course, to get to Antonio's house while my parents might be spying on me will take the skills of a super spy, which I don't actually have. Which is why I haven't managed to sneak out sooner.

But, tonight is the night. Yes it is. I have already informed Nonno that I am going to Eliza's house to stay the night, and instead of going to her house I'll be going to Antonio's house. I know, I'm so clever. Honestly, I could be like a planner person for a spy company because I am good.

I pack a change of clothes into my backpack, hug Romeo and Feli and Nonno goodbye (because they're all stupid fuckers and are acting like I'm going to die or something), then leave the house.

The sun hasn't set yet, so it's easy enough to walk through the streets without getting pick-pocketed.

Basically, I make it to Antonio's apartment without any trouble and then I knock on the door and he answers it immediately because I texted him beforehand to say that I was coming.

He steps aside to let me in and closes the door behind me. I set my bag against the counter, then turn to him and wait expectantly, because god dammit I will not be the one to kiss first.

As if he knows this, he grins at me. "Would you like something to drink?" he asks, slightly mocking in his tone.

"Mother fucker," I mutter under my breath. I reach forward and grab the collar of his shirt, then kiss him, hard. He returns it just as enthusiastically as I dish it out, tongue flickering over mine, hands sliding under the back of my shirt. His hands are cold against my skin, and I shiver.

He pulls away suddenly, trailing a hand down my face. "Are you going to tell me how you got that bruise?" he asks softly.

"Maybe," I mutter. I pull him back down for another kiss, and he returns it hesitantly. He's basically completely killed off the mood, god dammit. How the hell should I bring it back? I'll have to do something embarrassing, huh? But what…?

I move away from his mouth and kiss at his jaw, then bite at his earlobe. "Don't kill the mood, dammit," I breathe against his ear, and I hope I sound sexy because if this doesn't work then fuck everything. "C'mon, I've been practicing for this all week…!"

I give him a moment to let the implications set in. I'm pretty sure he's imagining some pretty wild stuff right now, but hey, if it gets him to do wild stuff to me in bed, I'm good with that.

Suddenly he grabs me around the waist and lifts me to my feet. When I look at his face, his eyes are a lot darker than usual, and my heartbeat speeds up.

"Fine then, you can just tell me later," he says gruffly. Yesyesyesyes. Please yes thank God has this worked I hope so.

He carries me to his bed and then he lays me down on it, but I barely notice now because he's kissing me and taking my clothes off at the same time and it's really hard to keep up with what he's doing, but I manage to pull off his shirt and then his warm skin is against my skin and I run my hands down his back, feeling his muscles tight against my hands.

"What are we doing this time?" he whispers against my ear before sucking at jaw.

I shudder. "Whatever you want."

"If you say so," he says, and I start feeling in over my head. It's a good feeling, though.

He slithers his hand down under my underwear and strokes my dick, and I shudder again, biting my lip hard to keep from making some sort of noise.

He moves up next to my ear once more and says, "Don't hold it in."

Stupid kinky motherfucker.

I grab him and crash our lips together, arching my back and pressing up against his hand. I swear I'm so hard right now I could cut diamond.

But he's still going too slow. I mean sure, his hand is nice or whatever, and the neck thing is great, but dammit Antonio I fucking practiced for you.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down so that his ear is against my mouth. "Would you just fuck me already?"

"Fine," he growls- oh yes, growls. Mmm.

Suddenly he flips me over so that I'm lying on my stomach with face buried in the blankets. Before I can even begin to complain, he spreads my legs apart, which is both uncomfortable and far too exciting.

There's a short pause before anything else happens, and then I feel something cold at my… um… place. Thing.

He slowly slides a finger inside and I gasp, but it's muffled by the blankets and I don't think that he hears it. Good. I'm not about to let him hear me.

Another finger goes in- and not soon enough, because I swear to God he is taking so damn long -and I vaguely bite the blankets to keep from moaning really loudly.

After the third finger I just can't take it anymore. I flip myself over and wrap my legs around him, dragging him closer to me again. His fingers are still inside me and this time I do make a noise, but it's only a light panting before I kiss him again.

I can feel his dick through his pants and I rub my hip against it, causing him to huff out a breath of air.

"Like that?" I murmur against his lips before I can remind myself to shut up. His eyes widen in surprise, so I rub against him again so that he won't pay attention to that part anymore.

I kiss him again, opening my mouth wide against his. I run my hands up and down his chest, feeling the slight sheen of sweat coating him. I run my hands all the way down to his pants, then unbutton them and slide both them and his underwear down. I grab his dick in my hands- and holy shit is it big, Jesus Christ did he do one of those weird online things because what is this monster! -and stroke it, softly at first, but then I grip it harder.

He presses his face into my shoulder and I can feel him biting his lip. I'm about to smile really widely when he pulls his fingers out and then shoves them back in again, and hard. I jolt a bit and a groan escapes my mouth before I can stop it.

He grins against my shoulder, then moves to my neck and kisses and bites at a certain part of it.

"Don't you dare," I growl, giving his dick a little squeeze. He doesn't stop, though, stupid fucking piece of shit. I can't have just anyone knowing that we're fucking! They'll be able to tell if he leaves me a hickey! Dumbass!

Leaving one hand down his pants, I grab onto one of his shoulders, then lean up and bite it- hard. He instantly pulls his head away, and I crash our lips together again, biting his bottom lip and the corner of his mouth and his tongue when he tries to slip it inside.

"Where's the lube," I mutter.

"Hm?"

"Just grab the lube. Let's do this."

"Mm." He kisses me once more, softly and gently, and then he gets off of me to pull off his pants. Suddenly I feel strange and open, splayed out on his bed like this, and so I sit up, running a hand through my hair. I feel kind of girly. I don't know why, but I feel kind of girly. No, I feel like an actual girl. Weird.

He's back on the bed in an instant, smearing lube all over his dick. He pushes me gently back to the bed, leaning his chest against mine. One of his hands comes up to stroke my nipples, and it's slick with lube.

His dick brushes against my… ass. Hole. Yeah. and I shiver. Before I have time for second thoughts though, he pushes slightly inside.

I try to keep it inside, but I moan anyway, kind of loudly. He instantly starts pulling out- damn softie -and I wrap my arms around his neck and squish his face against mine.

"Don't. You. Fucking. Dare."

Instead of pulling out, he pushes further inside. I moan again, but against his mouth this time, inside it, fuck fuck fuck this is good yes this is good.

His hands are by my sides, but one moves up to my torso, splaying his fingers out over my stomach and then moving down until he's grabbed my own dick. I suck at his lower lip, and he smiles against my mouth, then pushes in farther.

It ends not soon after that, and he rolls off of me first thing once we've both come. I lie there and a hazy post-orgasm happiness comes over me. I remember how last time Antonio got up to get a cloth to clean us up and I know that maybe I should get one or something but no. It's not going to happen. Either he can get it or his sheets will be ruined because I am tired.

And then, with cum drying on our stomachs- as if this is an appropriate time! -he says, "Now will you tell me how you got that bruise on your face?"

I sigh, then roll over to face him. I press a drowsy kiss to his shoulder, then say, "My parents came over."

Instantly he turns over so that he's facing me and he brushes a hand down my cheek, looking concerned and a bit disturbed. "They did that?" he asks.

I nod. "Well, not my mother. My father. He's kind of a dick."

"But... why?"

"I messed up my mom, I guess." I lay my head on the pillow, eyelids drooping closed. "I reminded her about how we were all technically created inside of her body."

There's silence for a moment, and then he reaches out and ruffles my hair. "That sounds like a kind of mean thing to do."

I open my eyes and scowl at him. "At least it made her look at me for the first time in years."

He stares at me for a moment, and I take a moment to look at his eyes- which are an amazingly green color -and then I stare at his cheeks- which are flushed -and his hair- which is mussed -and I kind of wonder how he even managed to be this damn pretty.

He gets up for a moment (I watch him leave the room 'cause dat ass) and when he comes back he's got a wet rag just like last time. He hands it to me, then sits on the bed while I clean myself up.

When we're both clean, we lay down in the bed and pull the blankets up to our chins. I snuggle closer to Antonio and look at him, then suddenly realize I practically know nothing about him.

"What… Um, what about your parents?" I ask softly, my voice slightly muffled by the blankets.

He turns toward me and looks at me for a moment, then smiles and wraps his arms around my waist. "They live back in America, in New York. We moved there from Spain when I was small."

He leans in and kisses me on the tip of my nose, and a fiery blush burns across my cheeks. He grins at this. "They're kinda old, I guess," he says, wrinkling his nose in a laugh. "They live together out in the country and they have all these bunnies."

"What do they do with the bunnies?" I ask, intrigued.

He awkwardly shrugs his shoulder. "Nothing really. Pet them. Sell them. They started with two bunnies, and now they have like forty of them." He rolls his eyes. "They seem to like it though, so that's a good thing."

"D'you have any siblings?" I ask, snuggling closer to him. He's warm, and even though I'm not cold, I want to be close to him.

"I have one," he says. "His name is Alfonso. He lives in Seattle, in America as well."

"Is he a teacher too?" I tease.

He shakes his head, hair tickling my cheek. "No. He races motorcycles."

I stare at him. "That's… a weird profession."

"Yeah, but he's good at it. He gets money and ladies and men and basically whatever he wants."

I make a kind of appreciative face. "Good for him, I guess."

He reaches a hand up again and runs his fingers down my cheek. "Why would your father hit you?"

"I told you-"

"There's no reason you should ever hit your child," he says fiercely.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "You feel strongly about this."

"I had a friend," he says shortly. "In middle school. He… Well, it wasn't good."

I stare at him. "Friend" huh? "Friend" my ass! This was no normal "friend," I'd bet my life. Boyfriend, more like. Or maybe just a crush.

I could say all of this, but instead I just say, "Okay then. Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I'm used to it, from my parents."

I snuggle closer to him, breathing in the scent of his warm skin. "They never liked me, I think. Right from the start. I mean, I guess they didn't have anything against me when I was a baby, but after that it was pretty clear."

"Why? Why didn't they like you?"

My voice gets quieter, and I'm sure he can hear the hurt in it, even though I do my best to stay calm. "I was the mean one. I suppose it would have been okay if it was just me there, but with Feli… it was like someone handing you a baby angel and a baby devil and saying you have to get rid of one. I was the obvious choice. I was pissy and mean and I liked to aggravate Feli."

He reaches up and runs a hand through my hair, and I close my eyes, pulling the blankets tighter around me. "But, that's all in the past now," I say. Surprisingly enough, I mean it. "I'm done with them. I'm done with trying to get them to need me. I've moved on." You helped me. Did you know that you were helping me? Because every smile you sent my way helped me. I had forgotten how people could actually be kind to me, even if I was an asshole to them.

"Go to sleep," he whispers softly, breath rustling my hair.

"Mm," I hum in agreement. He leans down and kisses my forehead, then my lips very, very softly.

"I love you," he whispers to me, and I'm certain this is the first time he's ever uttered the words to me, but I don't even find it all that special. I know he loves me. I'm not surprised. Maybe that's why it's so easy to return them:

"I love you, too."

(','(','(','('.')';')';')';')

The next morning, we make breakfast together, which probably sounds like it would be super easy since we can both cook at least decently, but it's really not.

"You're totally scrambling those eggs wrong."

"No, I'm really not," he protests. We have an epic staredown across the kitchen, and then I say, "Yeah you are. Give them to me."

"But you're in charge of the bacon!"

"Even a fool like you can do the bacon!"

We have another epic staredown, which isn't helped that I'm kind of pissed because I didn't realize my ASS WOULD HURT this damn much!

"Fine," he says lightly. "You do the eggs and I'll do the bacon." He may be acting happy, but the look in his eyes says you're going down, bitch, and so I quickly backtrack.

"Okay fine, you can do the eggs!"

"No no, you said that you wanted to do them!"

"Yeah, but since you want to do them so much-"

"I really don't, so you can do them-"

"Antonio… I think that the bacon is done."

Instantly he sets the bowl of cracked eggs down on the counter and comes to stand next to me, and we both stare down at the bacon.

"Tiny slices of heaven," he says.

"Tiny slices of hell if you're on a diet."

"I've never been on a diet."

"My friends made me do one once."

"You have friends?" he teases. I grab the towel hanging from the handle of the stove and whack him with it.

"Shut up, Antonio! No one even likes you!"

I dish all the bacon onto a plate covered by a paper towel (to soak up the grease) and let Antonio cook the eggs while I make some toast. Then we sit down at his table to eat bona fide breakfast sandwiches. I haven't had one of these since McDonald's in the US, and I've got to say that these are way better.

At this point it's pretty early- well, ten in the morning -and so, to keep it seeming like I slept over at Eliza's, Antonio and I decide to play Scrabble, which is a really, really bad idea.

The game ends an hour later and makes us both pretty pissed off at each other, and that's when I figure it's time to go.

So obviously, I don't go, and we play Scrabble again. This time we don't finish, though, because we decide that making out on the floor is way better, and believe me, it so is.

So, about another hour later is when I actually leave. He walks me out, of course, because we're holding hands and we don't really want to let go that much.

He kisses me at the bottom of the stairs, then watches as I walk off, feeling light and free and really, really happy, because it's only just now sunk in that Antonio said that he loved me. That's basically the best news I've ever gotten in my life.

So, I'm walking down the street with like a spring in my step and I'm all happy and like whatever because holy shit he said he loves me and I said it back and like how great is that, right? So yeah, I'm walking along, minding my own business and maybe humming to myself, and then all of a sudden my fucking father appears in front of me, like so suddenly I literally run into him.

"Hey, what the fuck-" I start, because I haven't seen who it is I ran into yet.

"Who was that?" he growls.

My blood freezes in my veins. "Wh… What're you doing here-"

"Who was that?!"

I swallow my rising terror and straighten my back. "None of your damn business."

He takes a step closer to me, and I instantly take a step back. "Who was that, Lovino?"

I sneer at him. "Oh, so you still remember my name? Good thing I remembered yours, too: Jackass."

He makes a move as if to hit me again, then realizes we're in the middle of a crowded street and people are staring. He takes a small step away from me, then smiles.

"If you won't tell me who that was, then I'll find out for myself."

And with that, he disappears into the crowd.

Shit.

(','(','(','('.')';')';')';')

I spend the rest of the day hiding in my room with my laptop in front of me, trying to lose myself in my fictional world.

What will he do? Will he really find out who Antonio is? Will he report him? Maybe he won't, but he'll sure as hell tell Nonno, and then what? This is super not going to work out.

I set my laptop to the side and curl my knees up to my chest. Shit. Antonio's gonna lose his job because of me, and he's gonna get reported and go to jail, and it'll be my damn fault because it's my damn father, and I just wanted things to be nice! Why can't things be nice for once?!

I hear footsteps outside of my room and I jerk my head up, thinking that it's Nonno coming to tell me that my father just called. But no, it's just Feli. He sits next to me on my bed and smiles at me and says, "Hey guess what? Guess what? Really, guess! It's so exciting, just guess okay, well okay if you don't want to guess I'll just tell you-"

"What, Feli," I sigh tiredly.

"Ludwig says he likes me!" Feli's smile practically glows. "Can you believe it? He actually said it! I mean sure, he texted it, but he still said it! Wait, here it is, take a look-" He grabs his phone and shoves it in my face. I have just enough time to see the words "Ludwig" and "like" before I bat the phone away.

"I'm not doing this today, Feli," I say, pressing my head against my knees. "I'm not in the mood."

Feli frowns. "Why not? Shouldn't you be happy for me?!"

I sigh. "It's just… stuff happened today, Feli, and I'm just really tired."

"Oh…" His face droops. "Okay. I'll just go talk to Nonno… I guess…" He slowly slumps from the room, and I don't have the energy to even apologize.

I lie in bed pretty much the rest of the day. I come down for dinner, but it's annoying because everyone else is all happy and cheerful because that's how they always are, even if only two weeks ago Romeo saw his father for the first time in ten years and he smacked me across the room, even if Feli might have to go back with them.

After dinner they all stay downstairs to play board games and watch movies and whatever, but I go upstairs to mope again. Maybe I should pack up my things and run away. Nonno has money, and I know how to access his bank account. I could run off to Venice or Milan, or maybe to France or London or- or Japan, or America. Yeah, America's big, so it's a good place to hide, right?

Yes… That's what I'll do… I'll run off to America. It will be wonderful, won't it? Running away to America… I could write a book… and it would sell well, wouldn't it…?

I fall asleep thinking about America, and when I'm woken up a couple of hours later, when the night is dark and the house quiet, I'm still thinking about America.

"Lovino," says a voice that I vaguely recognize as Nonno's.

"Go 'way," I murmur, turning and snuggling back into the blankets.

"Lovino," he says sharply. "Get up now, Lovino. We have to talk."

"Whyyyyyyyy…?"

"Because… Lovino, your parents just came, and they told me something… worrisome."

I instantly sit up, staring at him. I can barely see him, since the only light comes from the hallway outside, but from what light there is I can see him glaring at me.

"I-I didn't mean for you to find out like this," I start.

"Save it," he says shortly.

"There's really nothing wrong-"

"You're going out with your teacher?!"

"Um… Well, I didn't know that he was my teacher at frst-"

"But you didn't end it when you found out he was?!" He gets up from my bed and starts pacing- actually pacing -around the room.

"I… I didn't want to."

He turns and glares at me again. "He's your teacher. He's like seven years older than you, and you trust him?!"

I glare at him, sticking my jaw out stubbornly. "You don't even know him. He's too stupid to not be trustworthy."

"And you think that that's a good thing?" He comes closer to me again, getting down on his knees beside the bed so that he's closer to my eye level. "You do realize what I'll have to do, right?"

I stare at him, then shake my head wildly from side to side. "No. Don't do it." I don't want to cry, and so I don't meet his eyes, not even when he grabs my face in his hands to try and force me to look at him.

"I don't really have a choice, Lovino-"

"B-but my birthday is coming soon. It'll be legal then-"

He puts a hand up. "Look, I… I won't tell anyone what he's done, and I'll give him good recommendations, but he can't stay at this school. I'm sorry, but I owe it to the parents of the students who let their children board here… I can't let him stay here."

I look away. "Please don't… Please, just let him stay here-"

"I'll get him a job in America, Lovino. That's as much as I can do."

I grab the blankets and lie back down in my bed, pulling them up over my head.

"Lovino-" he starts, but I interrupt before he can say whatever it is he wants to say.

"Don't," I say. "Don't even bother. Just leave."

He's silent and still for a moment, and then he gets to his feet and leaves the room.

I hide under my blankets. Maybe I should call Antonio. Or text him. Maybe I should contact him; say goodbye, maybe.

But if I don't, then this isn't actually happening. If I don't, this is just a bad dream. If I don't, he won't leave me.

Right?

A/N I apologize to those of you who thought that this fic would be happy from now on. :D It's really not going to be happy, and, as I have been telling people, THE END IS NIGH.

*cough cough*

Anyway, I'm sorry and stuff will be happening soon and actually there MIGHT be more smut coming, idfk at the moment.

SO.

BE HAPPY.

AND ALSO JOYOUS.