I don't own FMA or Harry Potter. If I did, I would have made Edward abandon his friends and run away with me. Thanks for the reviews guys! They beat me running away with Edward. Well, not really, but it's very close. ;P

When Edward opened his eyes, the first thoughts were Shit. The Malfoy boy died and Mustang was forced to recall me.

Not that lucky.

Edward tried to sit up but someone pushed his back into the bed. He blinked and was startled to see an unfamiliar woman pushing him back into bed. She reminded him a lot of Pinako.

"Wha-" Edward barely finished speaking before a huge slab of chocolate was shoved into his hands.

The Pinako look-alike smiled belligerently at him.

"Eat it. It's for the shock."

Edward almost leapt out of bed. He flung the covers off his body but the motherly woman gave him a look that made him stay in place.

"I heard screaming. Just now in the Great Hall." Edward gasped but the woman shushed him by breaking a chunk of chocolate in his hand and shoving it into his mouth a little less gently than Edward would have wanted. He spat it out reflexively.

"The dementors came too close to the Hall. It shouldn't have caused more than a slight chill but depending on a person's past, it might be more serious for some than others."

Edward did not answer. He knew about dementors from the books he had sceptically flipped through. They were creatures that fed on happiness. Creepy but Edward knew he had to be more careful.

He looked up at the Pinako look-alike who did not move an inch. Realising that she was looking at the chocolate expectantly, Edward crammed it into his mouth and almost choked. It was so rich and so... so good.

As he swallowed the slab of chocolate, a sense of peace crept into him. Edward felt like he was radiating a warm gold glow. Were there bottle of antidepressants in that thing or what?

Nodding in approval, the Pinako look-alike motioned him to leave and walked primly to the bed beside Edward. There was a kid who was missing half his hair. It looked like someone had run a razor through his head.

Edward jumped down from his bed and glanced at his pocket watch. He had been out for almost two hours. By now, he was supposed to be in his dormitories. He knew Syltherins stayed in the dungeons. Edward shuddered slightly at the thought. It sounded dark, dank and stinky. And full of rats. If there were rats, Edward was calling an exterminator and leaving for Central.

He was still studying his watch when he crashed into someone. They both landed onto the ground.

"Ow!" A dark haired boy was rubbing his arm and glaring accusingly at Edward.

"Sorry," Edward apologised automatically. He got up and offered a hand to the boy. He noticed a reddish scar on the boy's head and something clicked in his head.

"You're Harry Potter." It was a statement. Not a question.

The boy glanced at his hand ruefully and sighed, pushing his bangs over his scar to hide it. He took Edward's hand.

"Yea, and you're the new kid."

Edward's eye twitched. He did not like this guy. He wanted to lash out how he was not a kid but it was his fault for bumping into the boy in the first place.

"Edward Elric," Edward introduced simply, hauling the boy to his feet.

Harry Potter smiled his thanks. Then he peered at the Edward's body.

"Wait a minute, are you in Gryffindor?"

Edward was momentarily stunned and shook his head. Potter pointed at his flaming red cloak and said,

"You're wearing so much red. That's Gryffindor's colours." There was something in his voice that sounded like pride. Edward mentally cursed himself for coming in the cloak. It was too flashy.

"Nah, I'm from Slytherin. Speaking of which, do you know where's the Slytherin common room?"

"Uh... yea," Harry muttered ruefully. He sounded as if he had been there before. "I'll take you there."

"Thanks."

Edward had expected Potter to be snobbish and overconfident. After all, he kind of defeated the magical bad guy in his world. He was pleasantly surprised to see he was... normal.

Potter dropped him in front of a wall in the cellars. The place was covered with statues of snakes. They looked so real that Edward swore he saw some of them move in the corner of his eye. Potter muttered a hasty goodbye and retreated.

Edward glanced at the cellar inquisitively. This was the common room? It was small. And there was no one. He touched the huge snake on display out of whim and leapt back when its eyes lit with unnatural green fire.

Suppressing a shiver, the alchemist backed slowly away from it. There was something behind the snake. Squinting his eyes against the dark light, Edward could make out a door hinge. This was the entrance!

The snake was still glaring at him with the fiery eyes and Edward mentally slapped himself. He was supposed to say the password.

"Homunum Wealing" Edward intoned carefully, thinking about how stupid the password sounded.

The fire in the snake's eyes extinguished with an urgency and the door swung open.

Edward left the nasty cellar and emerged into a grand room. It was dark, dank and creepy but definitely grand. It whispered a silent beauty. More snake statues lined against the walls, their bodies curving with impossible grace. The reflection of the green firelight on their scales formed a myriad of colours which danced serenely on the dungeon walls. Edward wished Al could come and enjoy this though he suspected that Al would be more creeped out by the snakes than him.

Edward found a staircase in room and climbed up to the dormitories. It was awfully quiet. Surely, everyone had not gone to sleep yet? It was only eight.

He found his room number and opened the door. He fumbled around, searching for his suitcase and books but all he found was a lacy, pink bra.

He was barely given the chance to turn tail and run when an arm seized him.