Malfoy is such an adorable jerk, no? But jerks need things to feed their ego. Like reviews. Hehehehe.

Oh, and for those who want to know, I upload every Monday evening (US timing) ;D

Edward eventually grew bored of waiting around and staring blankly while people roamed around for ingredients.

He noticed Granger still instructing Neville at the corner of her mouth and as Neville tried to pour a solution of squished boogers, Edward caught his hand firmly before he could tilt the solution into his frothing cauldron.

"What are you doing?" Granger demanded quietly.

"It would be better if you added sodium hydroxide," Edward explained. "This would cancel out the effects of the chopped up ears he accidentally threw in and change it to a less harmful form of water."

Granger stiffened. "That's a muggle chemical. We don't use that here. It's called potions for something and we're supposed to follow what it says in the textbook."

Edward shrugged and tipped the chemical on his desk into the cauldron. Instantly, the colour turned from foul orange to green.

"What did you just do?" Granger was almost wailing in dismay. "You ruined the entire potion. This will kill Neville's toad!"

Neville just stared at his toad, unsure if he wanted to say the last rites or kiss it with joy.

Just then, Snape called the class to gather around Neville's table. There was a mix of anticipation and concern in everyone's faces. Malfoy was laughing wildly to his two followers. Granger was giving Edward a you-screwed up- glare.

Scooping up a murky slop of liquid with a spoon, Snape fed it to the toad. The toad allowed the potion to fester in its mouth for a while before its throat swelled and it swallowed the potion. Neville leaned forward as far as he could go in his seat. He was gripping the table in fear.

Granger was now flashing Edward a frantic I-told-you-so look which Edward dutifully ignored. When nothing happened, Granger was now giving the what-are-you-going-to-do-about-this-now-that-you-murdered-an-innocent-toad-and-disgraced-Neville-in-front-of-the-class-and-Professor-Snape-looks-especially-scary-today look.

Then, the toad became a tadpole in Snape's hand which stunned Edward who did not expect the potion to work. That broke the cardinal rules of alchemy!

The Gryffindors whooped and applauded while the Slytherins looked sullen. Edward rearranged his face to look sullen as well. When in Rome, do as Romans do.

Snape sniffed contemptuously and dipped the tadpole in a clear solution and it returned to its original form. Edward stared at it, star struck. This! This sorcery could very well be what he needed to return to Al and him to their bodies. Maybe that was why the good for nothing Colonel assigned him to this job.

"Five points from Gryffindor!" Snape said nasally to Granger who was now giving Edward the how-did-you-do-that look. Granger stared at the potions professor in shock.

"I told you not to help him, Miss Granger. Class dismissed."

Edward stiffened in his seat. Although Snape had addressed his comment to Granger, he was studying Edward with narrowed eyes. Several students followed his gaze to look at Edward curiously. When most of the students had cleared from their table and Neville skipped out of the dungeons hugging his toad, Snape sauntered in an oily manner to Edward.

He did not even look at the young alchemist.

"I don't know how you could have salvaged that potion. No wizard could anyway. An advice," this time Snape looked at Edward in the eyes. Edward had to force himself not to tear away from the chilling, empty gaze.

"Don't try anything stupid here."

Edward barely made it in time for lunch. He had been hauling Malfoy's whole suitcase of textbooks back into his room the whole time. When he jumped off the last few steps and sprinted into the Great Hall, he forced himself to ignore the curious gazes of about a hundred of students and teachers.

"Food!" Edward moaned as he dived into his seat and stuffed forkfuls of ham into his mouth. His fingers still fumbled when he used the fork. It was a strange feeling not to have the feel of a pair of sturdy chopsticks in his grip.

"So good," Edward sighed, his mouth full.

"Here," Amy said, licking a napkin and dabbing it on Edward's face. Edward cringed in disgust. Malfoy laughed.

"Oooh, Eddy needs his mommy to clean up after his wee wee."

"What the heck does that even mean?" Edward shot back. Malfoy was about to retort when he glanced up sharply. An owl had swooped into the room, its beak clipped onto a letter. The owl was handsome and well preened.

"Abacus!" Malfoy said, grinning at the admiring gazes the students were giving the magnificent creature.

"My father's bird," Malfoy said by way of explanation. He looked smug.

The owl landed on the Slytherin table and dropped the letter in front of Edward.

"Elric?" Malfoy said incredulously. "What does my father want with you?"

"You didn't tell him about the chimera incident, did you?"

"The chime- what?"

"Er... the creature during Hagrid's lesson," Edward amended hastily.

Malfoy scoffed. "Of course I did. How else would you expect that giant brute to get fired? But what does that have to do with you- oh!" Understanding dawned on Malfoy's face. His face broke into a gleeful grin.

"I did tell him about how you goaded me into getting injured too. Open it. I want to see your face when my father deals with you."

Edward tried to relax his facial muscles and force an unnatural smile. What Malfoy did not know was that Lucius Malfoy was Edward's employer.

"Whatever." Edward said, standing up too quickly. He put on a mask of indifference and casually swiped the letter from the dinner table.

Edward bumped into seven people before returning to his dormitory. The responses ranged from good natured 'watch where you're going' to the finger. Edward did not care. He was breathless with dread when he slit open the seal and opened the envelope.

Bright green light blossomed from the envelope and Edward shielded his eyes from the harsh glare. When he could see again, he saw a green image of Lucius Malfoy bending over a table, writing with a quill and frowning in concentration. Tentatively, Edward tried to touch the hologram but his fingers brushed through air.

Then Lucius Malfoy glanced up sharply and looked at him.

His concentrated expression switched to fury but his voice was calm and pleasant.

"Edward Elric, state alchemist of Amestris." Lucius nodded at him. Edward could see an uncanny resemblance between father and son.

Edward saluted.

"Reporting for duty, sir!"

"What duty?" Lucius's voice was now a sibilant hiss. His words became thick and snake-like. Edward tried not to gulp. He was in so much trouble.

"Edward Elric," Lucius continued. "You were assigned by Bradley to be my son's bodyguard."

Edward gave a start of surprise. So Lucius and the Fuhrer were on first name basis.

"Judging by the events during the past few days, you have obviously failed." Lucius's eyes were like coals. "My son lost the use of his arm and as his protector, I believe it is imperative you give him your arm in return. What do you call it in your little home? Ah yes, equivalent exchange."

"So you're saying you want me to get my arm torn up by a chimera?" Edward asked, boldly waggling his appendage at Lucius. His false attempt at bravado failed.

Lucius gave him a cold look and Edward stopped waving his arm.

"No, I'll severe it myself."

With that, he reached out towards Edward, brandishing a stick in his hand. One of his arms caught Edward in the face. Edward was both stunned by the pain and the fact the Lucius Malfoy could actually touch him.

"Hey!" Edward shouted as Lucius jabbed the stick into his shoulder blade and shouted some intelligible words.

There was a loud ripping noise- the sound of clothes tearing and the sound of slashing.

Edward grinned.

"Ha! Wrong arm!" His automail gleamed triumphantly but Lucius did not seem surprised by the mechanical arm.

"I know," Lucius said, stopping Edward cold. "I know everything about you, Edward Elric, son of Hohenheim and Trisha. That was merely a warning. I am the one paying you for the services, but let anything happen to my son again, you'll be paying with your real arm."

The envelope burst into smithereens of green light. The image was gone and suddenly, the room felt very lonely. Edward gathered his ripped clothes up and seeing that they could not be salvaged, clapped his hands together and repaired them with alchemy.

He had to write to Al. Make sure he was alright. Lucius knew about him. He knew too much about him. Which meant he had to know about Al too.

Edward tried not to let the fear overcome him. He wanted badly to return to Central to see if Al was okay. Al could take care of himself, sure. But he could not trust his brother to defend himself against hocus pocus stick wielders.

Edward pulled out a quill and a parchment and wrote:

Al,

I'm killing you for soiling my journal. When I get back, you are to copy every single word, cancellation and ink spill perfectly.

Edward paused.

Be safe.

E. Elric