I have so many ideas I want to write down, I'm working on a few but until the essay from hell is finished I have to focus on that. But it's coming, mohaha. Sorry, too little sleep and too much coffee. Anyway enjoy! I don't own four brothers.
"Hey" Jack looked up and met Bobby's eyes "It's gonna be okay, I promise"
"You don't know that" Jack whispered, fighting the urge to hide his face in his hands. He didn't want Bobby to see him like this.
"Of course I do. Look at me" he added when Jack looked away to hide the tears in his eyes. "I promise you. I haven't broken a promise to you yet have I?"
He hadn't, but Jack knew that something like this didn't just go away. He didn't think that even Bobby Mercer could do something about that. He didn't say that, he didn't say anything, settling for shaking his head slowly.
"Don't worry Jackie, I'll take care of everything"
Jack flicked his cigarette through the window with a sigh. It seemed like a million years ago now. He glanced down at the untocuhed bag of weed laying next to him on the sill. He hadn't rolled one yet, instead opting for his usual ones. He wanted so badly to just have one but he knew it wasn't the time, Bobby had been asleep for a few hours now and he needed to take his meds and eat something. Jack chuckled lightly as he headed downstairs, if there was one thing he took seriously it was taking care of Bobby. It was the most important thing now, he could control himself for a bit longer. For his brother he could. Coming downstairs he saw Bobby sitting up on the side of the bed and it looked like he was about to get up. Jack rolled his eyes and lengthened his stride. Stubborn ass.
"Wait, where you going?" Bobby looked up and saw him and huffed as he sat back down on the bed. "You have to be careful Bobby, you know what the doctor said".
"I'm bored" Bobby snapped. He softened his tone when he saw the look in Jack's eyes. He sighed. "I just can't stand being coped up here".
"It's not even been a day yet" Jack reminded him as he sat down next to him on the bed.
"I know, I'm going crazy Jack"
"Oh you know what the cat said" Jack chuckled but stopped when he saw the confusion on his brothers face.
"What damned cat?"
"You know, 'we're all mad here'? From..." he stopped there, certain he did not want to hear his brothers laughter as he realized that Jack was talking about Alice in Wonderland.
"What? Tell me?" Bobby demanded in his usual smooth way.
"It dosen't matter. What do you want to eat?"
Bobby's eyes narrowed but he let it go. "Whatever you make will be fine. Speaking of..." Jack looked up "I want to know how your doing, and if you tell me your 'fine' I'm going to show you how much I can still move".
"Bobby I really need to get started on dinner..."
"Yeah I'm hungry as hell" Angel added as he walked in and took a seat on the couch after shooting Jack a look that spoke volumes.
"Make your own damn dinner" Bobby snapped "I want to talk to Jack for a sec"
Angel looked at him, horrified at the thought of having to make his own meal "I can't cook"
"Maybe it's time you learned princess. We all know that Sofi's cooking is like gnawing the bark of a tree. So unless your planning on having Jack move in with you, which I will never allow anyway since I'm kind of fond of him, your gonna have to start chopping those onions loverboy". Bobby couldn't hide his grin anymore.
"Jack..." Angel protested, looking up at his youngest brother with pleading eyes.
Jack sighed, but was inwardly relieved that he had an excuse to put of the talk with Bobby again. It wouldn't work forever, but if he could just keep him occupied until he felt better, until he could lie better, then everything would be alright. "He'll burn the kitchen down" He mumbled to Bobby before getting up.
"Well he needs to learn if he's serious about La vida loca, cause she can't cook worth a damn. Help him with dinner" Bobby demanded, staring at Angel.
"It's fine" Jack protested, the thought of Angel helping him make dinner putting a slightly panicked look in his eyes. He still remembered the incident when he was 8 and the toaster caught fire. He'd been terrified when the alarm went off, and had hid underneath his bed. It had reminded him of other homes, not that they'd had fire alarms, but because of the fights. Bobby had found him of course and calmed him down. He'd then proceeded to tell him what to do in case of a fire, Angel standing in the doorway filling in. He'd told Jack he'd been in lots of fires before and had shot Bobby a look which Jack later understood. "I can do it".
Angel relaxed back into the couch and propped his feet up just as Jerry walked in the door. "Uhuh what now?" He asked Bobby when he noticed the sour look on his face.
"I haven't even said anything?" Bobby snapped.
"He's pissed cause he's not allowed to walk around by himself" Jack called out from the kitchen.
"Allowed my ass, I'll fucking walk where the fuck I want" Bobby grumbled, wincing when he leaned a little to much on his side.
"You can barely stand, just sit your ass down" Jerry commanded.
"Do as he says" Angel looked over at them, meeting Bobby's gaze steadily.
"What is this? Are you all ganging up on me?" Bobby was shocked to say the least. "Jack!" He bellowed when he saw that his brothers weren't budging.
"That's not gonna work, Jack knows what the Doc said and he's not gonna help you drag your ass around so that you'll get worse" Jerry calmly told him. Bobby glowered when no protest came from the kitchen. "Don't try to bully him into doing it either" Jerry warned him, pointing a finger warningly at him but quickly snapped it away when Bobby leaned forward a little too much.
Bobby growled a little, beyond irritated that his brother knew exactly what he'd been planning on doing. "Whatever. How much fucking worse can I get anyway? I'm already stuck in bed like some pussy".
"Just think of all the fun you'll have when your up and running again" Angel offered.
"Oh I will, believe me I will..." Bobby mumbled, laying back down on the bed. He was tired, and in pain, not that he'd ever tell these two that. Like he'd read his thoughts Jack walked in holding his pills and a glass of water.
"Here" He frowned when Bobby took them without a word. "How you feeling?"
"Fine" Bobby swallowed some water, coughing a little when Jack spoke.
"I don't like that word either"
"Well I actually feel fine so I can use it" Bobby snarked.
"Liar" Jack solemnly told him before retreating back to the kitchen.
"Come on Jack, don't be like that. Keep me company, these can fix something to eat, right?"
"He dosen't want my help" Angel reminded him.
"I'll help" Jerry said, forever the dutiful brother. He went in to the kitchen and returned less than a minute later. "Said he's got it under control" he shrugged and took a seat next to Angel on the couch.
Later that night Jack was the only one awake. He was laying on the couch watching a movie while Bobby slept. He was tired, but not tired enough to sleep and his thoughts kept wandering.
"He didn't mean to do it" Bobby stated calmly but with hard eyes from his place by Jack's side.
Jack, Evelyn and Bobby were sitting in the principals office at Jack's school. Bobby had decided it was his duty to be at the meet as well, Evelyn had agreed after some persuasion from his side. The principal had objected, but when Evelyn and Bobby had made up their mind their was little he could say.
"The fact that he didn't mean to do it dosen't change the fact that he did" The principal reminded Bobby sternly.
"Oh please, like this is something exstreme, you got kids out there sniffing glue and everything they can get their little grubby hands on, maybe you should focus on that huh? In fact..."
"What Bobby means is" Evelyn interrupted Bobby with a stern glare, telling him without words that if he didn't behave he would have to wait in the car "that Jack's history is a bit different from the rest as you know. Surely you can understand that Jack needs time to adjust?"
"While I know that Jack has a bit of a history I can't condone this kind of behaviour Evelyn. He punched a teacher and broke his nose!"
"He shouldn't have grabbed him" Bobby spat, ignoring the look Evelyn shot him "Is he stupid or what? You don't grab..." He stopped before the words 'abused children' could leave his mouth. Jack didn't need to hear that shit again.
"I agree that Mr Bayard reacted harshly and I have spoken with him about it. He has decided not to press charges if Jack agrees to counseling".
Bobby felt Jack tense at his side. Not this again... "I don't think that's a good idea"
"Bobby" Evelyn warned. "Do you mean here at the school?"
"Well Mr Morry is very competent, I think it would be a good idea. What do you think Jack?"
When Jack didn't answer and continued his staredown with the floor the principal turned to Evelyn. "Maybe you can discuss this at home and get back to me?"
Jack sighed and arranged the pillow under his head. Despite his own and Bobby's protests he'd ended up going to to see Mr Morry once a week. That stopped when he'd lost interest in getting Jack to talk. Turns out that you only need to be quiet for about six months before they lose interest.
Some time during the night Jack fell into a restless sleep. He woke up early the next morning to the sound of a car honking. He groaned and covered his eyes with his arm and was about to go back to sleep when Bobby's voice alerted him to the fact that his oldest brother was awake.
"You still dream about that?" Bobby asked quietly.
"What?" Jack asked, sleep and confusion making his voice even deeper than usual. He didn't remember what he dreamt last night, he just knew that he was tired as fuck and ready to go back to sleep for a few hours, or days. Had he been talking in his sleep again?
"When you had to see Mr Morry for a year"
"It was six months" Bobby rolled his eyes and Jack sighed, closing his eyes. "I haven't for a long time. I thought about it last night thats probably why I dreamt about it now".
Bobby nodded. He guessed that Jack had those dreams again because of Sweet. Everything that had happened had probably caused memories that had been pushed to the back of his head to surface again. And if he dreamt about that he sure as hell was dreaming about other things as well. He was worried. He knew something wasn't right here and if there was one thing Bobby had learned it was to trust his instincts and his instincts were telling him something was wrong with his little brother. He'd been acting differently since Bobby woke up from his coma, and sure he'd been shot and seen his brother be shot, but he had a feeling it was more than that. He just couldn't put his finger on what, and the damn pills weren't helping. Sure they were great for the pain but they made him sleepy and he usually lost his train of thought after popping a few. That shit had to stop. If he wasn't sure already that they were hiding something from him he would have guessed by the way someone always seemed to interrupt whenever he asked Jack a question that didn't involve that evenings dinner, or when he was at the hospital, if he could please change the channel from the old dudes in the stones to something a little more enjoyable and didn't have 60 years on their backs. Yeah something was definitely up, he thought as he watched his little brother rub his eyes, the darkness underneath them almost making him look like a vampire. Well with Jack's sleep during the day and brood during the night routine it wasn't that far a stretch anyway. Footsteps on the stairs alerted him to the fact that someone was coming down and Bobby took the opportunity to test his thoughts and prove his suspicions right.
"Hey Jack" He called out, a bit too loud as Jack was only sitting a short distance away. Said brothers head snapped up, startled, and Bobby realized that he'd been about to fall asleep again. "Can we talk?"
"About what? I'm tired Bobby" Jack complained and yawned loudly.
"Hey Jack, have you seen my jacket?" Angel walked in, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and his dogtags.
Bobby took in the scene with grim eyes, that had been too easy. His brothers must think that he'd suddenly turned stupid just because he'd been shot.
"How about you start with a shirt or pants?" Jack mumbled, getting up and stretching before heading to the kitchen for some much needed caffeine.
"Is that a no?" Angel called out impatiently, sighing when he only received a mumbled answer. He turned to Bobby who was watching him with narrowed eyes. "How you feeling?"
"Like I've been shot three times" Bobby deadpanned without taking his eyes from Angel.
Angel chuckled and pulled up a chair and sat down next to the bed. "Yeah" His fingers traced his tags slowly, lost in thought for a second.
Bobby squinted "Those the same ones?" He gestured to the tags.
Angel looked up, a shy smile you didn't often see on his face. "Yeah"
Angel's dogtags had a long history, cause they were not the usual military ones. These had the first letter of his brothers names inprinted on the back. He'd been unsure about it, not wanting anyone to know who his family was should he be captured, in case they decided to use it against him, use it against his family, but then Jack had suggested he only put the first letter of their names there, and so he had. It made him feel close to them even when he hadn't been. That's going to change now though he swore. His family needed him, and he would never let them down again.
Bobby was quiet while he thought about family and honour. He had his own kind of honour, his own sense of duty. And it all revolved around protecting those he loved. He had done what his instincts propelled him to do, but he hadn't had any control over what happened later and he hated it. He hated not knowing, he hated that his brothers were keeping something from him, most of all he hated the haunted look in Jack's eyes.
As he met Angel's eyes he wondered what reason they had. What was so important that they couldn't tell him? Oh he wasn't stupid, he knew it wasn't to hurt him. Maybe to prevent him from blowing up, that made sense. Or they were protecting someone else... His eyes drifted to the kitchen where he could hear Jack humming on some song softly. He didn't have time to ponder that thought as Jack entered, carrying Bobby's breakfast and pills with him. Bobby looked down at the carefully arranged pancakes, bacon and egg, and felt his throat close up. His brother really was something else. So much different from himself. But at the same time not, and recently he had seen more of what they had in common rather than what they didn't. It felt like a cold hand was squeezing his heart tightly in his chest every time that thought came creeping along, which was becoming more and more often. From the corner of his eye he saw Angel's hand slowly edging towards his plate and he hit it sharply, causing him to pull it back with a curse. "Get your own fucking food" he said, glaring at him.
"Bobby" Angel whined.
"I'm serious you lazy ass"
Jack watched their interaction with tired eyes. He could barely keep them open.
"Jack, why don't you go upstairs and get some sleep" Bobby suggested "Angel can babysit" The last word was spoken ironically.
Jack yawned "I'm fine, I just need some more coffee"
"Your not fucking fine, you can barely stand, get some fucking sleep" Bobby ordered him and Jack hesitated, but complied when Angel chimed in.
"Listen to him Jack, you look like shit. I'll watch the baby" He teased
"Watch it" Bobby pointed to him.
"Fine, here" Jack handed over the pills and didn't move.
Bobby glanced up at him. "You gonna watch me every morning nurse?"
"Just take them. The doctor said we need to be careful and make sure you take them the time you're supposed to". Jack nodded his head like he was freaking Sigmund Freud and Bobby chuckled, putting the pills in his mouth and opening to show that they were gone.
"All gone"
Jack nodded and turned to walk up the stairs while Bobby wondered when his youngest brother had turned into the boss of him.
As soon as Jack was out of sight and Angel had gone to get breakfast he spit, the pills landing in his hand. He quickly stuffed them under his pillow and chuckled. He wasn't born yesterday. Jack wasn't the only Mercer with a history full of drugs. Though in the past Bobby didn't usually spit them out, but drastic times and all that. He was just as good as Jack at hiding pills, if not more. The ache in his chest questioned this newest idea but he ignored it. That shit was strong and it made him sleepy and unable to think, none of which he needed right now. Angel came in with a plate full of pancakes and took a seat on the couch shooting Bobby a grin. "Thank god one of us can cook".
"Amen" Bobby agreed, eyeing his brother with calculated eyes. "I've been meaning to ask you something".
Angel looked up, his mouth full of pancakes. "What?"
Bobby sighed "Chew you idiot, you'll suffocate"
"Big words" Angel mocked grinning.
"Why the fuck does everyone suddenly think they can get away with anything around here, I'll kick all your asses" Bobby muttered, glowering when Angel snickered and swallowed. "Anyway, we haven't really talked since I woke up".
"Been so much going on" Angel nodded, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Yeah" Bobby agreed "You know I always knew you'd take care of everyone if something happened"
Angel hummed in agreement, still a bit lost in the awesomeness that were Jack's pancakes, but he knew what Bobby meant. In their younger years Bobby had all but beat it into him, that if something were to happen to him then it would be Angel's job to look after the family. He hadn't needed to, Angel loved the responsibility and when Jack had come along he had loved being a big brother to him. Sure, Jerry was older than him, and in other matters he was in charge after Bobby, that was just the way it was, and he didn't have a problem with it, he never had. But there were some things Jerry were hesitant to do, while Angel didn't question it, and he knew that was why Bobby had been so insistent about it. Some things in Detroit needed to be handled a certain way, a way Angel had lots of experience of.
"You know me" Bobby continued and Angel looked over at him "that's what makes me wonder why you haven't told me yet".
Angel tensed, sensing a trap "Told you what?"
"About that day" Bobby spoke, his tone gentle but the underlying steel still there underneath.
"You trippin or something?" Angel chuckled, his guard up "We told you everything at the hospital"
"Yeah you told me you killed Sweet, and I may have been drugged to the point of seeing rainbows everywhere then, but now I'm laying here thinkin that I want to hear the whole story again, you want to know why?"
Oh Angel really didn't, but it seemed like he didn't really have a choice right now. Why the fuck didn't those painkillers kick in? They always made Bobby a little sleepy which was good according to the doctor cause it allowed his body to rest. Angel really wanted them to start their magic right now. "Are you sure this is..."
"I'm sure this is the best time yeah. I want you to tell me, cause I can't seem to get it together in my head Angel. At the hospital you told me that Jack had a hard time dealing, and that makes me wonder why".
"He watched you get shot Bobby, he thought you were going to die, we all did" Angel leveled his eyes at him.
"I know all that. Where was he then?"
"When?" Angel told himself to calm down, this was his brother, not the police. That somehow didn't make him any less worried.
"When you met with Sweet? He was there right? You didn't tell me, you just told me he had a nervous breakdown. Was he at the hospital or was he at the meet?" Bobby's voice was patient, like he was talking to a child that didn't understand what it was supposed to do.
Fuck, Angel swore to himself. He could feel the trap close around him, no one played this game better than his brother. He couldn't lie, cause sooner or later they would trip up and then Bobby would know he lied and wonder why. Or he would call the hospital and try to find someone, anyone, who worked there that day. Angel wouldn't put it past him. "He was at the meet, with us". He spoke softly, as if that could lessen the words impact.
Bobby nodded, he already knew that, he'd just wanted to hear it. "How did he handle it?"
"It went fine, I told you that"
"Oh I know, but that's what I don't get. You tell me he had a nervous breakdown, then what, a day, or days later he tags along to meet Sweet and just stands there like it's the most normal thing in the world to be eye to eye with the man who had his mother killed? Come on man, I know Jack. I know he's stubborn as all hell".
Angel tried to resist the urge to shift in his seat. He met Bobby's eyes calmly, or at least he hoped he looked calm. "We all wanted to see him dead" That wasn't a lie. They all had, it was just that Jack had so much hate that needed an outlet. "Jack too, nothing weird about that".
"I'm not questioning that. I just wonder why my brother has nightmares again, why he always wear long shirts now, why he's strung tigher than the principal at our old high school. Most of all I want to know what your hiding from me Angel?"
Their eyes met in a silent staring match.
Puh, it's getting a bit tense here right?
.