Introducing Lupin! His name sounds so happy. What doesn't make me happy are lizards. EWWWW! How something so small can be so horrifying, I'll never know.
"I have to use a stick for this course?" Edward breathed to himself when he consulted his timetable. Despite the cool sounding name, Defence against the Dark Arts did not sound so cool now.
Pulling out the wand and his textbook from his suitcase, Edward marched to his first afternoon class of the day. He met Crabbe on the way out of the dormitory and held a very meaningful conversation with him on what is the best food served in the Great Hall.
All reason goes to show that evidently, the spaghetti with the unhealthy helpings of cheese was the best. However, Crabbe thought the parfaits were divine. Edward tried not to snort too loudly. This man had no sense of taste.
When Edward walked into the classroom, he was surprised at the teacher's lack of taste. His clothes were shabby and well worn. It looked like he had put them in the washing machine much longer than necessary and put them in the ageing machine after that. Seeing what these hocus pocus people could do, Edward was not the least bit astonished if they had an ageing machine.
He found Malfoy and sat next to him. Malfoy, sadly, caught the last vestiges of their intellectual debate.
"I thought you were smarter than Crabbe!" Malfoy exclaimed in exasperation.
"Hey!" Edward retorted. "Lay off! Food is a very academic subject."
"Someone change seats with me!" Malfoy cried and Pansy Parkinson immediately made some space at her table for him. Malfoy remained where he was.
"Malfoy, listen," Edward said, ignoring the fact that Malfoy was throwing his hands up in the air. "Which one do you think has a better texture? Semi-melted mozzarella cheese on smooth, silky spaghetti? Or a lump of cold ice cream?"
Malfoy exhaled loudly. "I can't believe-"
"Just answer the question! It's important!"
"Neither! I like the mushroom soup."
There was a long silence.
"Why did I not think of the soup? Of course! The soup is a perfect blend of texture and tastiness. It's not too rich like most soups and not too watered down!" Edward gushed while Crabbe nodded furiously and supplied his tirade with 'uh huh's.
It could be a reflection of the light but Edward could have sworn that Malfoy's lips twitched upwards a little.
"Books away!" The professor called as the stragglers for the class entered the room. "Wands out! And follow me!"
They saw a ghost on the way out of the class called Peeves. Edward thought he behaved a little like Winry when she had her ladies thing.
"Inside, please," Lupin instructed and the class filed along the staffroom. It was empty except for Snape. Snape muttered something about Neville to Lupin and left the room. At the same time, he shot Edward a meaningful look. Edward tried not to shiver.
There was a sudden rumble in the wardrobe and Edward paled. Malfoy sneered at him.
"Scared, Elric?"
"Nah, that was just my stomach."
The wardrobe rattled harder and Lupin explained that it was a boggart.
"Boggarts like dark, enclosed spaces like this wardrobe. This one moved in yesterday afternoon and I asked the headmaster if the staff would leave it to my third years for some practise. So, what is a boggart?"
"Something that comes out from your nose?" Edward said idly to Crabbe. Crabbe responded with a well thought-out 'uh huh'.
"It's a shape shifter," Lupin said when no one answered. "It takes on the shape of whatever it thinks frightens us the most."
Lupin went on to explain how the boggart gets confused easily with a large group of people while Edward took out his wand and studied it. How was he going to use it if he had not even tried? How could he even be sure if he could use magic?
"Lizards."
Edward jerked his head up and saw Victoria reciting what scared her the most.
"Those household ones right?" Lupin said sympathetically and Victoria nodded.
"I want you to imagine the lizard wearing, say, pyjamas or anything that comes to mind when I open the door on the count of three. One, two, three, now!"
A gigantic lizard, as tall as Lupin himself, emerged silently from the wardrobe, tongue flickering.
"Ridikkulus!" Victoria shouted and the creature transformed into creature with a bad fashion sense. It was wearing luscious red high heels on all four stumpy legs and a tight fitting dress. The dress. Gosh, the dress was horrible.
"Parkinson! Forward!"
Parkinson's greatest fear, apparently was herself with smudged eyeliner and a Mohawk. Pansy Parkinson looked scandalously at her twin.
"Ridikkulus!" At the wave of her wand, her twin transformed into Malfoy. Edward saw Malfoy blanch.
"Crabbe!"
Food with vegetables.
"Goyle!"
Vegetables.
"Frodo!"
A screaming zombie with no eyeballs.
"Malfoy!"
Edward watched curiously as Malfoy walked up to the boggart. It paused for a moment. Then shifted into his father. Malfoy's face turned red with mortification when he realised what his greatest fear was. He just snorted derisively and waved the image of his father to be reduced to nothing but a puddle of water. Malfoy was afraid of his father? But didn't he rant every single day about how awesome his father was?
"This is crap. I'm not some scared little boy," Malfoy spat and stalked back to the group of students.
"Elric!"
Edward stepped up with the stick and looked at the puddle of water. The first thought that came unbidden to his mind was Colonel Mustang and some blonde girl. He had accidentally walked in on them once in Mustang's office. It had traumatised him for life. Edward prepared himself mentally to change the girl into a puppy and Mustang into a pile of dog poop.
The boggart warped in front of him to change into a transmutation circle. A large one. There was nothing on it. Just words. Words only Edward could understand.
"NO!" Edward whispered while his classmates oohed in amazement at the intricate design.
Why was a transmutation circle here? In a hocus pocus magic school? It should not be here. It should not even exist. The scientific part of Edward allowed the chemical formulas to run unbidden in his mind. The human part wanted to scream.
The room darkened and the chalk markings on the circle emitted a muted purple light. Someone murmured how pretty it was.
A hand reached out from the ground and slowly, a mangled body was pulling itself from the ground. The oohing stopped. The creature's hair was matted and dry. Its bony chest heaved with exertion and it collapsed onto the ground, limp and exhausted. The body was emaciated, too thin. Too unnatural.
"Stop it!" Edward whispered, backing away from the thing.
The thing raised an unnaturally crooked finger at him. Bones were not supposed to bend like that. The thing's face cracked into a gruesome smile. Its haunting, empty eyes were gleeful.
Eyes that could keep every child awake every night. Eyes that could chill adults to the bone. Eyes that were his mother's.
Edward whimpered and backed away from the thing but it tried to beckon him closer with that crooked finger. Stop it. He was the State alchemists. State alchemists deal with these all the time. He was not afraid.
"Edward," it purred. It was his mother's voice.
"Stop it!" Edward screamed, slamming his hands against his ears. Make it stop. Make the thing stop.
And it stopped.
Edward was still staring at the ground where his mother had been. He glanced up to see Lupin waving away a silvery orb.
"Edward, what-" Lupin never got to finish.
Edward ran out of the staffroom. He opened a door to a random classroom and flung himself into the darkest corner of the empty room. The darkness suffocated him, bringing back the memories of the thing.
But he did not care.
It was a small price to pay for the sin he had committed.