If you've never smelt owl droppings, go smell them.

The reply from Central came at breakfast the next day. Edward was surprised to see the owl carrying a package in its beak. He was even more surprised to see the bird diving down at him and attempting to rip the braid of his head.

Edward shrieked in agony as the owl attempted to tug his hair from his roots.

"Damn you Mustang!" Edward screamed, loud enough for everyone in the Great Hall to hear. The headmaster raised an amused eyebrow at him. Malfoy smirked. Crabbe and Goyle tried unsuccessfully to swat the owl away and got bitten themselves.

"Had enough?" Edward growled when the owl finally relented. The owl extended its leg to Edward who untied the envelope and parcel on it. The parcel was rather light and Edward left it on the table. It could be the owl droppings he had told the owl to put strategically on Mustang's head.

Edward tore the letter open eagerly, hoping to find his appeal approved.

Fullmetal,

You're not allowed to go back to Central until you've finished your job. The wand I gave you initially was just a stick that Black Hayate was chewing on. This is the real wand. Hawkeye discovered it on my table. She's making me apologise. Sorry.

Mustang

P.S. Thanks for nothing, Fullmetal. Your stupid owl ruined my date with Lisa. She kept saying I had bad body odour even after I washed my hair three times before meeting her.

There was a bit of blood on the 'sorry'. Edward suspected that Hawkeye had shot Mustang when he refused to write the word. Still, Mustang apologised. Edward was going to frame it up. But it still meant that Edward had no more legit excuses to go back home.

"Could you go back and poop on Mustang's head again?" Edward asked the bird who stared at him loftily before flying back to the Owlery.

"Who's Mustang?" A Slytherin girl asked. She was a year older than Edward and was giving him a very vapid smile.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Another girl pestered before Edward could answer. Edward had the self-control of shaolin masters who train by sitting under the waterfalls not to burst out laughing at that. Ever since gossip about his automail had spread through the whole school, Edward was beginning to get adoring fans from the fairer sex. He had to tell Winry that her automail was sexy.

"Eh... Mustang is my playmate when I was a kid. She's convinced that she's the most amazing person in the world and ah... desires my body."

The Slytherin girls all pursed their lips in unison and the air was getting stonier. Even Malfoy had the sense to shift away from them. Edward was laughing dementedly inside.

"Here's her address," Edward said, writing on a piece of napkin. "You can write to him... I mean... her and tell her that she has ugly hair. And how she should just marry Black Hayate, that's her dog, because she's obsessed with dogs."

The air grew heavier and Edward gulped. The girls must have seen past him. They knew he was making fun of them. He was so screwed.

However, the girl one year his senior snatched the napkin from Edward's hand and begun conversing with the other girls in low whispers about how they should deal with this Mustang fellow.

Inconspicuously, Edward slipped the parcel into his robes. He did not want to explain why his wand was in a parcel.

Edward saw Goyle looking stupidly at the Slytherin girls who were arguing which word in the female dictionary was most appropriate to describe the Colonel.

"It's the metal arm," he said in a conspiring whisper. "It's dead sexy."

Goyle nodded understandingly but he still had a dull expression on his face.

"So Elric," Malfoy said, casually avoiding a flying elbow as one of the girls tried to grab the quill. "Are you going to Hogsmeade tonight?"

Hogs-what? Edward's mind raced as he tried to remember when that name appeared in his textbooks.

"Uh..."

"You didn't get your permission slip signed?" Parkinson exclaimed, looking as though Edward had committed a crime.

"No but-"

"It's the most amazing place!" Parkinson rambled, not hearing Edward. "Wait till you see Zonko's shop! Oh and the Three Broomsticks! I hear they sell the most amazing butterscotch meade and oh, the Shrieking Shack is so scary! Draco! Won't you go into the shack with me?"

"Hogsmeade has nice muffins," Goyle contributed and that was all Edward needed to know.

Edward's face fell. "No, I didn't get my slip signed."

"Go ask Professor Snape," suggested a girl who had been eyeing Edward quietly for a while. She looked startled when Edward turned to look at her and blushed deeply. Back in Amestris, automail was never this awesome.

Talking to Snape was the last thing on Edward's mind. No doubt, the rumours of his automail had spread to the teachers even though it was only one day since his automail was exposed. That would make Snape even more suspicious of him. But the thought of muffins and Goyle's dreamy expression motivated Edward to find Snape after Potions.

When the class had filed out of the dungeons, Edward approached Snape's desk. Snape made no move to leave the dungeons. Instead, he started throwing a whole bunch of ingredients into the cauldron. There was an old encyclopaedia lying open on the table and the ingredients looked very complicated. The title for it was Wolfsbane. Edward hoped he had not caught Snape at the wrong time.

"Professor?" Edward began tentatively.

"Yes Elric?" Snape said, not looking up from his complicated alchemy.

"I was wondering if you could sign my permission slip to Hogsmeade."

"Haven't you asked your parents, Elric?"

There was a flash of heat as Edward thought about his father. And mother.

"My father left when I was young and my mother just passed away last year," Edward said truthfully. He felt the words burn in his tongue as he said the word 'father'. Hohenheim was not his father.

"That's why you only joined this year," Snape mused, stopping his alchemy for a while to study Edward who stammered a yes in reply.

"Your mother was your teacher, am I right? She taught you well." Snape began to throw more ingredients into the bubbling cauldron. Edward did not reply.

"I'll sign the form for you. Pick it up from my office at noon."

"T... thanks sir!" Edward said and backed out of the room. He could not believe it was so easy. Why would Snape do that for him? Was there something at Hogsmeade that he did not know? Or was Snape just nice to Slytherins in general? Or maybe he knew something about his mission as Malfoy's bodyguard.

The last thought chilled Edward and when he turned around to glance back at the dungeon, Snape was glaring at him with cold, narrowed eyes.

Next week's chapter will be longer! Keep reviewing please! ;D

Since I'm in an Edward Elric fangirl mode now, here is me trying to be Ed:

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