If I joined the zoo, there'd be a sign saying, FEED ME REVIEWS. THEY MAKE ME GROW TALLER. Ouch, sorry, Ed, but reviews won't change your height.
The next day, Edward did his best to avoid all the Gryffindors in general. Seeing how fast rumours spread around here, he would not be surprised if he was expelled the next day. Strangely, no one said anything about being Sirius Black's conspirator.
The talk of the day was Potter's unexpected package. People were gushing about a Firebolt. Despite his misgivings about going near the Gryffindor table, Edward was curious to see what kind of weapon a Firebolt was. He was staring at the Gryffindor table so hard that Malfoy nudged him.
"Don't tell me you're all head over heels with Potter's broom!"
Broom? Edward then noticed that people were passing a broom around the table, touching its handle reverently.
Hocus Pocus people, Edward thought grimly. They were weird.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Amy shrieked, throwing a gift into Edward's face.
"OW! Is that how you give people a present?" Edward yelled, feeling guilty that he had not gotten anyone a present. He had mailed his Hogsmeade purchases to his family and friends in Amestris but he had completely forgotten about the people in Hogswarts.
"Just take it, short stuff."
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING SHORT! I'M NOT SHORT, YOU PEA BRAINED ALIEN CHIMPANZEE! YOU WANT SHORT? I'LL SHOW YOU SHORT!"
Edward grabbed a turkey leg from the table and flung it at Amy who ducked. The turkey leg fell neatly into Crabbe's mouth who was suddenly there to catch it. Edward gave Crabbe a sage nod to show his respect.
Two owls swooped onto the Slytherin table to present Malfoy with a large parcel. After ensuring that all eyes were on him, Malfoy unwrapped his present slowly and deliberately. Inside, was a gold box with the letters 'Wizards Chess' engraved on it.
Everyone oohed. Edward huh?ed.
"A game?" Malfoy asked with a smirk that made Edward think he was going to get thrashed. Edward felt a twinge of annoyance in his eyes. So, the Malfoy boy wanted to beat the genius at war? He gave his client's son a significant smile.
"Bring it on."
When most of the Slytherin table had cleared out after breakfast, Edward, Crabbe and Goyle were still stuffing the remaining turkey in their mouths.
There was a gentle cough behind him and Edward turned to see Potter and his friends. Crabbe and Goyle both tightened their grips on the turkey legs they were clutching. They're lips pursed with anger. Edward's eyes instantly shot to the book Granger was carrying. The title of the book made him stop in mid-chew.
Alchemy: The Lost Art.
Weasley was glaring at Edward with undisguised distrust. Edward swallowed and put on his poker face mask. He pointed at the book.
"What's up with that? That's not magic!" He studied the book carefully. It looked like a beginner's book and he had never seen it in his life. Alchemy was definitely not a lost art either. Edward suspected it was some book written by the hocus pocus freaks who did not understand anything about science. How could they even begin the grapple the concept of science when Edward still could not understand magic?
"A little light reading," Granger said tersely. She was looking at him intently as if she was judging his reaction. "I'm interested in the baffling concept of using a different form of magic, something that turns elements into gold."
Okay, definitely not something Edward should get freaked out about. Extracting gold was forbidden. No rea; alchemist would be so brainless as to write a book about that.
"I'm not here for small chat," Potter said. Edward glanced at the boy and saw an angry light in his eyes. The fire in his eyes was so fierce Edward could understand how this boy could defeat Wordymort as a baby.
"You can leave. This is the Slytherin table. Or are you here to show off your old broom? Pity, you Weasleys can't even afford a single splinter on that thing." A new voice said. Edward turned to see Malfoy marching towards them. Crabbe and Goyle instantly dropped the turkey legs and glared at the Gryffindors dutifully.
"We'll leave," Weasley retorted. His face contorted grotesquely in rage. "But in a minute."
"I didn't want to talk to you," Potter growled at Edward who tried not to recoil at his harsh tone. It seemed impossible that just a few hours ago, they were friends on a secret adventure to Hogsmeade.
"But I think it's only fair. Professor Lupin is meeting me Thursday night at eight for the lessons in the History of Magic classroom. You can come along if you want. I don't really care."
With a final glare at Malfoy, the Gryffindors left the table.
"Why are you meeting Lupin for?" Malfoy demanded.
"Some anti-dementor lessons," Edward said. "I'm not going to let one near me again."
"Aw... poor Elric is scared of dementors. Do you need mama to protect you from the glowy circles too?"
Edward ignored him. How he managed to make sure that Malfoy was safe and sound every moment of the day when his patience with him was thinning was a wonder. Malfoy turned and stalked away and Edward sighed as he was forced to abandon his turkey.
Gathering the large amount of packages that had come in by owl post from Central and Amestris, Edward hobbled back after Malfoy into the Slytherin common room.
Edward dumped his presents on the ground near the fireplace and saw that Malfoy was playing a game of Wizards Chess by himself. The pieces moved automatically at the sound of his voice. An invisible player was moving the chess pieces after Malfoy had made his move. Edward could not help noticing that no one was playing with him. He considered going to play a round with Malfoy but decided against it for now. No need to humiliate the Slytherin just yet and he wanted to open his presents first.
Amy had given him a Sherbet Lemon bag from Hogsmeade. Winry had mailed some automail oil and Al had given him a new edition book of the breakdown of alchemic materials. Pinako had given him a satchel of dried milk which Edward promptly tossed in the fireplace.
Armstrong sent a sculpture of himself with a note that said 'The skill of sculpting has been passed down from the Armstrong line for generations. You may lick me. It's made of liquorice.' which Edward threw into the fire without hesitation as well.
Mustang had mailed a long angry letter about how random girls kept sending him death threats at least twice a day. He had also combined a present with Hawkeye and had given Edward an expensive looking journal for him to write his notes in. There was an unhappy looking 'Merry Christmas. Regards, Mustang and Hawkeye' on the wrapping paper. There was a bit of blood on the words.
Edward glanced at Malfoy who was just moving his pieces randomly and letting his invisible opponent slash his units into smithereens.
"Yo!" Edward called, walking over to Mustang and tucking his gifts into his robes. "I'm here to take up on your challenge. You better be ready to get beaten into a pulp. I am the king of unpredictability when it comes to chess."
"Get over here and get your ass kicked, shorty," Malfoy said, sounding incredibly bored.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PINT-SIZED THING THAT IS SO SHORT YOU NEED A MICRSOSCOPE TO SEE HIM? I am so going to destroy you for that." Edward growled and pulled a chair over to the chess board. Some Slytherins began to look interested in the match.
"I doubt you can, pint-sized thing!" Malfoy said, twirling a broken piece in his hand.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT?!" Edward shrieked as the units in the chess board sprung to life.
Bring it on.