Characters since DW3 and 4
Shu: Wei Yan,Yue Ying, Pang Tong
Zhuge Liang goes to greet Yue Ying and Pang Tong,leaving Wei Yan.
Wei Yan :*sad face*
Huang Zhong: Hey, you're , lets go get drinks.
Wei Yan: Thank...You...Huang...Zhong...
Tavern
Wei Yan:*drinks whole jug* *normal voice*Ahhh... I needed that! Thanks again for taking me out for drinks,Huang Zhong!
Huang Zhong: Wait,what? I thought...
Wei Yan: I do that voice to mess with people. Honestly, do you ever hear someone sound like that?
Huang Zhong:*laughs* You really had me there! This sounds fun to play along to.
Wei Yan: It sure is! Oh,wait! Zhao Yun is coming!
Zhao Yun walks into the tavern and sits at the table with the two.
Zhao Yun: Are you the new general that is joining us?
Wei Yan: Yes...I...Wei..Yan..I...happy...to...see...you...
Zhao Yun:Uhh..*slow speaking* I...Zhao..Yun..I..Ally...
Huang Zhong: You fool! He can understand you just fine! He has a speech problem,that's all!
Zhao Yun:*embarrassed*Oh..ok...So,Wei Yan,how are you doing today? Any problems?
Wei Yan: I...fine...no...problem...
Zhao Yun: Ok,well,I better get going. I have to go train new recruits.
Zhao Yun leaves and Wei Yan goes back to his normal voice.
Wei Yan: Did you hear that guy? He tried to mimic my speech pattern!*laughs*
Huang Zhong: You are right!*laughs* This is fun!
Both high-five each other. The two have been playing this joke to mess with new characters.
Elsewhere..
Zhuge Liang: Master Pang Tong, is it necessary for you to where cloth on your face?(He looks like the top of a wine jug.)
Pang Tong: What,do you want to see my face?
Zhuge Liang: The men will not trust you if you hide your face.
Pang Tong:*removes cloth*
Zhuge Liang:(BY THE HEAVENS,HE'S UGLY!) Yeah...keep that..on your face...like...all the time...*turns green*
Pang Tong: *puts cloth back on*Exactly why I keep this on.*leaves*
Zhuge Liang:*turns around and pukes*(Uhhh..That man makes Cao Cao and Sima Yi look like male models and Zhou Yu a male Venus!)
Yue Ying:My Lord, are you alright? Do you have stomach flu?
Zhuge Liang:*turns to look at Yue Ying and blushes* No,my dear,I'm fine.(My heavens,she is gorgeous!)
Yue Ying: Are you sure? You are looking a little red.
Zhuge Liang: No,really i am fine.
Yue Ying:*takes her dagger-axe out* Can you tell me where is our home? I have to put this away.
Zhuge Liang:*mouth hanging open* I-It's over there...
Yue Ying: Thanks! *happily walks over to the house*
Zhuge Liang: *looks at his fan* Ugg...(Look at the bright side, I can brag to Zhou Yu and Sima Yi about this.)
Wu: Sun Ce, Zhou Tai,Huang Gai, Da Qiao, Xiao Qiao
Cao Cao: Ugg...Sun Ce is here...
Sima Yi: Oh goodie...more Wu peons..*sarcastic clapping* Also, I have heard Cao Ren,Xu Huang,Zhang He, and Zhen Ji are coming.
Cao Cao:*Face lights up*Really?
Somewhere in Wu
*Big Sun Group Hug*
SSX:Brother! You are finally here! You should see Quan's beard!
Sun Quan: Ha,ha,very funny.
Sun Ce: Brother,there is a squirrel on your face!
Sun Quan:That's my beard...
Sun Ce:Oh...sorry...
Sun Jian: Now,now lets not insult each other. Let us be happy that Sun Ce is here to join us.
All three:Right! *all group hug Sun Jian*
Wu office
Zhou Yu:My wife is coming and her sister too! Also Sun Ce,Huang Gai,and Zhou Tai!
Lu Xun: You seem happy today, Master Zhou Yu.
Zhou Yu: My best friend,my wife,the man who protected Sun Quan, and the man who I owe the victory at Chibi to. What else could I want? Oh yeah, Xiao Qiao being hot!
Lu Xun: You are right, but what if things go as you don't want them to?
Zhou Yu: Hmm...I don't know, I'll just wait and see.
*knock**knock*
Zhou Yu: That must be them, let me greet them personally.
*door gets knocked down*
Sun Ce: Zhou Yu! There you are, buddy! *hugs him*
Zhou Yu: Good to see you, Sun Ce. But the door...
Sun Ce: Pshh,you don't need doors!
Zhou Yu:Ok..where are Xiao Qiao and Da Qiao?
Sun Ce: Oh, they are over here. Follow me.
Zhou Yu:(I hope she's so beautiful,she'll make the moon cower in shame.)
The two entered a room with the Two Qiaos in it.
Sun Ce: Ta-da! Lovely, are they?
Zhou Yu:...Uhh...yeah, lovely...
Zhou Yu looked at the two with a confused expression.
Zhou Yu: I'm sure these are your daughters...
Sun Ce: What are you talking about? These are the Qiaos.
Xiao Qiao: ZHOU YU! *glomps him*
Zhou Yu:*eye twitches* (This is going to make me look like a pedophile.)
Zhou Yu watches as Sun Ce was doing fine with Da Qiao.
Zhou Yu: (Honestly, does he know these are MINORS. *crying* and I thought I was going to get sex tonight,but nooo, I can't because I have a child as my wife! Damn You Koei! Zhuge Liang gets married and he gets a wife that is LEGAL,so why not me!I should ask Sima Yi on how to deal with a child wife,he married a 13-year-old,anyway.)
Elsewhere
Huang Gai: Hey.
Zhou Tai: Hey.
Zhou Tai: Want to go make fun of Sun Quan's Beard?
Huang Gai: Sure.(He said more then 3 words!)
Wei:Zhang He,Cao Ren,Zhen Ji,Xu Huang
Cao Cao: Three of my greatest warriors,AND a pretty lady? My day has gotten a lot better.
Sima Yi:(Yes, more pawns!) I'm glad to see you are well,my Lord.
Zhang Liao: I look forward to meeting with Master Zhang He and Master Xu Huang.
Xiahou Yuan: And Cousin is coming, are you happy, Dun?
Xiahou Dun:*shrugs*
Cao Cao: Sima Yi, why do you have a helmet? All you do is sit there issueing orders,and you don't really go out.
Sima Yi:*shrugs*
Cao Cao: Where are they?Everyone look for them! They might have encoutered some bandits.
Sima Yi:That is highly unlikely.
Cao Cao: You search for them too!
Sima Yi: Egh..
Inside Wei Palace
Sima Yi: They could be anywhere...Oh?
Sima Yi spots a figure with blue armor.
Sima Yi: Cao Cao! One of your sons left a giant toy robot here! Come and get it!
Cao Cao runs up to him:What are you talking about? My boys don't hav-
The figure turns around and sees them.
Sima Yi:Oh,it's a person.
Cao Cao: Who are you?
Cao Ren:I'm Cao Ren,on the way here, I couldn't find the throne room.
Cao Cao: Ahh,you got lost here? Well,come with me, you are looking for me,no?
Outside
Zhang Liao: How are we supposed find them if we don't know what they look like?
Xiahou Dun: Simply look for someone that does not look like these peons.*points at generic soldiers*
Dian Wei:I found one!*points at guy with coiled up cloth on his head*He seems to be admiring Xu Chu's strenghth.
Xu Chu was crushing a boulder to pieces as the man looked in awe.
Man:What absolute strength! It is equal to that of a thousand men!
Xu Chu: Are you here for something?
Man: I'm supposed to go to the throne room,but your strenghth distracted me.
Zhang Liao: That is him!*runs up to him* Excuse me,you wouldn't happened to be Xu Huang?
Xu Huang:Yes,and you are?
Zhang Liao: I am Zhang Liao,my lord has been looking for you.
Xu Huang:I'm so sorry, can you please take me to them?
Throne room
Cao Cao: Two are here,but we missing two mor-
*BOOM**THWACK*
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! I'M SOR-*BOOM*
A black figure is seen flying across from the room's doors to the area above Cao Cao's head and hits the ran to see who it was.
Cao Cao:What the-? Is that-?
The crumpled, chared figure was twitching."Master...Cao..Cao I found...the...third..one...
Cao Cao:Sima Yi? What in the world happened to you?
Sima Yi: It is...*cough* a long story...
*flashback*
Sima Yi: Looking for Zhang He and Zhen Ji...I can't tell which is the guy or the women...
He comes across a women in blue.
Sima Yi: Are you a prositute for Cao Cao or some other general?
How rude!
Sima Yi: Then don't dress like one. I can see your unmentionables from this angle,you unseemly women!
Hmph! Instead of insulting me, lead me to the throne room of Cao Cao!
Sima Yi: How about the brothel? It seems to suit yo-
*SMACK**THWACK*OK I'M SOR-*THWACK**flute music*Did it get col-AHHH!
*end flashback*
Cao Cao:You called her a prositute? That doesn't explain why you are chared black. *teasing*Plus that helmet DID NOT help you.
Sima Yi: SHUT UP! *cough**cough*
The women walked in.
Sorry for your friend over there for getting himself in trouble. But he insulted me, so I had to knock some sense into him.
Cao Cao:*pervert mode* HUBBA HUBBA! Who is THAT lady!
Sima Yi:The bitch that did this to me!
Cao Cao:Now,now, Yi, is that the language we use around a beautiful lady?Now what is your name,Princess?
Sima Yi: WHAT?! I oughta...*cough*(He called me Yi!The nerve!)
Zhen Ji:I am Zhen Ji, you were expecting me,yes?
Cao Cao:*flirty*Why,yes,I was expecting you...
Sima Yi: That is your DAUGHTER-IN-LAW,you sick creep!
Cao Cao: Looks who's talking! You married a 13-year-old!
Sima Yi:I didn't do anything indecent to her!(At least until she was older...)
Cao Cao: And what makes you think I'm going to do something indecent to this princess?
Sima Yi: You have a reputation for doing that!
The two continued to argue.(yes, again)Cao Cao tries to choke him.
Zhen Ji: Ok...where is my husband?
Everyone in room:Generic.
Zhen Ji:Nevermind.
A fruity man bursts into the room.
I am heeeerrre! Look at me,everyone!The fabulous Zhang He is here!
Everyone turned to look at the unusual man.
Xiahou Yuan:Is that Vega?If so, where is his mask?
Zhang Liao:That is not Vega...
Xu Huang:Oh,you are finally here!
Zhen Ji: What took you so long?!
Cao Ren:Last time I remember, he chasing a man in purple,holding a fan. Then a chubby man.
Xiahou Yuan: So that was the guy who was following me around...Hey, I'm not chubby!
Sima Yi: I saw that man following me. I ran away because he was creeping me out.
Zhang He:Oh no,you are covered in black. I shall make you beautiful again!
Sima Yi: No,no,you need to-
Cao Cao:Why YES,he DOES need some beauty done by you,Zhang He!
Sima Yi:(Cao Cao, you bastard!) No, I'm quite fine. Maybe Chubby over there might need the makeover.
Zhang He: Ok! *takes Xiahou Yuan*
Xiahou Yuan: No,no,no I don't really-HEY!
The two were already gone.
Cao Cao: So,everyone is here,correct? Well,except Zhang He. But everyone,be ready for some Shu-butt-kicking!
*cheering,appluase*