Chapter 25: The Nature of Evil

Charlene glared at her "escorts" as they led her and Auron deep into the shadowed recesses of Bevelle, wishing she still had her sword, which they had confiscated when they arrested her. "Where the hell are you taking us?" she demanded, her blue eyes blazing with barely concealed fury. "I thought we were supposed to go stand trial?"

The soldier on her left, an older man with steely grey eyes, shot her a sidelong look and replied, "You are, but not until the Grand Maester calls for you, so we're putting you someplace secure until then."

Just then, another set of soldiers opened a massive iron door leading into a room where several small, completely empty cells waited. Clearly, they had not been in use for quite some time, but the faint smell of blood still lingered in the air like an ancient curse. "What the hell is this? It smells like a goddamn butcher shop down here!" Charlie shouted, failing to suppress an instinctive shudder at the stench.

Suddenly, the younger of the two guards shoved her roughly and jeered, "What's the matter, girly? Are you scared?"

"Bite me, Soldier-Boy!" she snapped, glaring at her jailer. "I'm not afraid of you, this place, OR that fat bastard you call a boss!"

"Yeah, well you should be, since no one who comes to stay down here ever sees the light of day again!" the guard growled as Charlie and Auron stepped into their cell. Then he slammed the door shut and added, "I hope you two enjoy yourselves."

With that, the two warrior monks marched out of the room, leaving their captives alone for the first time in a while. "This is just great," Charlie muttered as she gingerly propped herself against the nearest wall, "How in the name of all that is holy are we gonna get out of this one?"

"We wait," Auron replied, eyeing her over the top of his sunglasses.

Charlene stared at him for a moment as if he had lost his mind, and then asked, "Hey, you used to hang out with Kinoc, right? Does that mean that you know how to get out of here?"

He shook his head. "It won't do any good. We don't know where the others are, so escape isn't an option."

"Damn. I guess we don't have much of a choice then, do we?" Charlie sighed, sitting down and resting her head on her knees. "God this really sucks!"

A leaden silence ensued and pressed in on the two guardians for what seemed like an eternity, when Charlie looked up at Auron and said, "Hey…I want to tell you something." He stared at her but did not reply, so she continued to speak. "Auron…I'm really sorry about what I said to you back at Home. You're not a soulless monster, and I had no right to say those things to you."

"I didn't think you meant what you said," he replied, his expression unreadable. "You are not of this world, so I had a feeling that your reaction to the truth would be one of anger." The swordsman gave her a wry smile, and then added, "I just didn't realize it would be so…explosive."

Charlie flushed, then averted her gaze and coughed to cover her embarrassment. "Yeah, well that was a pretty horrible thing to learn, and finding out that everyone knew, but didn't tell me only pissed me off even more. Anyway, since we're stuck down here and have no earthly idea when those sorry sons of bitches are going to hold our trial, I think I'll take a little nap."

Auron watched Charlie drift off to sleep with a slight feeling of annoyance mixed with amusement. "It's amazing how she can sleep at a time like this. If the boy were in her place now, he'd probably yell until someone finally shut him up."

…

Charlene awoke bleary-eyed some time later to the sound of Kinoc's irritating voice practically right over her head. "You really brought this on yourself, you know," the plump maester said, his voice full of malicious glee. "You used to be one of us, so you should have known better than to defy Yevon."

"Kinoc, did you come down here just to tell me that?" Auron demanded, glaring at his former friend as he and two of his flunkies swaggered into the cell. "Or was there something else you had to say?"

"What, can't I come pay a visit to an old friend?"

"Since when do friends visit each other with an armed escort?"

"I prefer to err on the side of caution," Kinoc replied, a falsely pleasant smile still plastered across his face.

"Yeah right," Charlie snapped, getting to her feet and scowling at the maester and his two soldiers. "You're nothing but a damn coward! Here we are, stuck in a big hamster cage, with no weapons whatsoever, and you're still too afraid to come down here by yourself? Dear God, what courage!"

Kinoc glowered at her for a long moment, then turned back to Auron and said, "So you haven't managed to tame this one yet? You've really lost your touch, old friend."

"Tame?" Charlie asked, her voice gone dangerously soft.

"Oh yes," the maester replied, leering at her. "Auron used to be quite good at taming unruly women and…"

"Auron and I aren't together, you fat bastard!" she blurted, shaking her fist at him. "And even if we were, I seriously doubt he'd try to 'tame' me, or whatever, so you can just shut the hell up and leave us alone!"

Kinoc gave her a greasy smile, then turned to his former friend and said, "You really should have taught her what her big mouth was meant to be used for. Yevon only knows how much quieter your journey would have been if you had." He let out an exaggerated sigh. "Of course, you always did like your whores a little feisty."

"I'M NOT A WHORE!" Charlene shrieked. "I don't know who you think you are, but you have NO right to call me that, you son of a bitch!"

"Charlie, be quiet," Auron hissed, grabbing her elbow.

She wrenched herself free, and shouted, "I will not! I'll be damned if I sit here and let that overfed jackass call me a whore! No, wait, let me rephrase that: he's a pudgy, disgusting, nasty-minded whack-job whose only joy is watching people die for nothing!"

That opened up the floodgates, and all sorts of insults burst from Charlie in a raging torrent, ranging from cracks about Kinoc's looks and his family all the way up to his probable sexual prowess and the many painful-sounding (and physically impossible) things he could do with himself. During the whole tirade, the maester's face darkened until it closely resembled an enraged eggplant, and he backhanded the young woman as hard as he could. The sound of his hand cracking across her face sounded impossibly loud in the tiny room, but quickly faded into silence as Charlie staggered back and stared at her assailant with stunned disbelief. Then her shock turned into anger as she promptly returned the favor with her gauntleted right hand. "Sir, you're bleeding," one of the guards cried, as he and his comrade aimed their rifles at the prisoners.

Kinoc, indeed, was bleeding quite profusely from a long gash on his right cheek, and the sight of his own blood only enraged him further. "You little bitch!" he bellowed, slapping Charlie again.

Infuriated, the young woman moved to retaliate, but before she could, the maester struck her in the jaw with the butt of the rifle he had snatched from the nearest soldier. Her head spinning with pain, Charlene stumbled backward until she hit the wall, and then fell to the floor. She tried to get up, but Kinoc kicked her in the side as hard as he could and broke a couple of her ribs. Sparkles flashed through Charlie's vision in sync with the agony in body as she struggled to breathe. "Oh God!" she thought, struggling to get up in spite of her agony. "I really messed up this time!"

"Kinoc, stop it!" Auron roared, stepping forward only to stop when the other soldier pointed his rifle at him. "You proved your point, now leave her alone!"

"I don't know why you're so upset, Auron," the maester casually replied, kicking his prone victim in the back. Then his look grew sly, and he added, "Unless…you have feelings for her."

"You're wrong," Charlie rasped, getting to one knee and shaking her head when Auron fell silent. "He's only concerned for me because I'm a guardian." "He can't have any other feelings for me…no matter how I may or may not feel for him."

Kinoc paused, eyeing both guardians suspiciously for a long moment, and then bludgeoned the young woman across her back with the rifle, knocking her to the floor again. "You're right. How could he possibly have any interest in a loudmouthed slut like you?"

Suddenly, Charlene managed to get back on her hands and knees, and spat a glob of blood on the vile maester's robes. "Fuck you, butterball," she croaked, following up the insult with an upraised middle finger.

At this final affront, Kinoc shrieked incoherently and kicked her in the side of the head. Pain unlike anything she felt in a long time exploded in her skull, filling her vision with bursts of brilliant agony, and then plunged her into dark oblivion as all the sounds of the waking world faded away. "The little fayth boy…Bahamut…said I might disappear if I die here in Spira…I guess I'll get to find out if it's true. Hell, it'll be better than becoming a zombie monster like Seymour…I'm sorry I wasn't much help, everyone…"

Even after Charlie lost consciousness, Kinoc, apparently in a state of berserk fury, continued to kick, stomp, and otherwise attempt to beat the life out her, until Auron shouted, "That's enough, Kinoc!"

"Oh no, old friend," the maester hissed, his dark eyes glittering with malice, "I believe it's time I made an example out of her." Then he tossed the rifle back to its owner, and said, "Reeve, get rid of her."

"But sir!" Reeve protested. "Lord Mika said he wanted all of Lady Yuna's guardians alive to stand trial!"

"Yes, but if I tell him you had to do so because she was trying to escape, I'm sure he'll understand."

"But…"

"What is going on here?" a new voice suddenly demanded.

Surprised, everyone except Charlie turned around and saw Seymour standing just outside the cell, a closed expression on his face. "What is going on?" he repeated, striding into the chamber. Then he looked down at Charlene's unmoving form, and said, "I thought the Grand Maester left orders that Lady Yuna's guardians were to remain unharmed?"

"This is none of your concern, Seymour!" Kinoc snapped, scowling at him. "You have no business down here, so why don't you just leave?"

"I do not recall asking for your permission," the Guado coldly replied, "Nor do I remember needing your permission to come down here. Or did you forget that I, too, am a maester of Yevon?"

Apparently, Kinoc had forgotten that fact, and the rude dismissal he was about to deliver died on his lips. "Well…what do you want?" he asked lamely, attempt to recover his composure.

Smiling slightly at his fellow maester's discomfiture, Seymour said, "If you really must know, I came down here hoping to have a word with Lady Charlie, but now it seems that she will need the services of the White Mages before that can happen." Then he turned to Reeve, and said, "Pick her up and bring her with me."

"You can't have her," Kinoc replied, stepping in the way.

"I did not ask, now did I?"

The two maesters stared at one another for a long moment, Kinoc with a furious expression and Seymour with a cold one. After what seemed like an eternity, Kinoc backed away from the undead maester, a look of fear ghosting across his plump face. "Fine," he muttered, shuddering at whatever it was he saw in Seymour's eyes. "Take the little bitch and go."

With that, Kinoc stormed off, followed by his unnamed crony, spitting curses under his breath. Once he was gone, Auron knelt down beside Charlie and whispered, "Hardheaded fool…why didn't you do as I said? Why do you always make things difficult?" "Charlie, please don't die."

"I'm sorry, Sir Auron," Reeve apologized, interrupting the moment. "I have to take her to the White Mages right away."

Auron hesitated, but the sound of Charlie's labored breathing made up his mind. Finally, he nodded, and let the warrior monk pick her up and carry her out of the room. Seymour started to follow him, but paused and turned back to the imprisoned swordsman. "Do not worry," he said. "She will be returned to you as soon as she has recovered and we have had the chance to…talk."

Then he smiled, a chilling smile that did nothing to dispel Auron's steadily increasing sense of unease, and left, locking the door behind him. "Charlie alone with Seymour…" Auron brooded. "That is definitely a bad thing, but…why am I so afraid? Am I afraid of losing her?"

…Flash…

Charlene crept down a long, dark corridor, trying to remain as silent as possible. She did not know what lurked in the shadows, only that it would find her if she made too much noise. How long she tiptoed through the blackness, she could not say, only that it seemed like forever, until a brilliant light presented itself at the end of the winding hallway like an epiphany. Seeing it, Charlie sprinted toward it, knowing that it was her only hope of salvation, and that all the answers awaited her at the end. Finally, she reached the light, but before she could run through it, Marcus stepped out of it, stopping her dead in her tracks in complete surprise. "Marcus? What are you doing?" she cried in open dismay as he barred her path. "We have to get out of here, NOW!"

Marcus sadly shook his head. "This path isn't for you yet, Charlie," he told her, his voice filled with regret. "I'm sorry."

"Why? Why can't I go through?"

"Because you belong to me," the serpent suddenly cackled, dropping down from the ceiling to land between the two friends.

Before Charlie could turn and flee, the giant snake bit her, just as he had in Besaid, but this time, she did not wake up. Instead, she could only watch in horror as the flesh around the wound darkened, turning to living shadows as her strength fled. "What have you done to me?" she gasped, trying to stay upright despite her buckling knees. "Oh God, somebody help me!"

The snake wrapped his massive coils around her before she could collapse to the floor, and held her close. "This is only the beginning," he purred, his cold eyes locked with hers, "And there is nothing anyone can do to stop it!"

Suddenly, the floor transformed into a dark, frigid sea, and both Charlie and the serpent fell into it, while Marcus, now joined by Bahamut and the black wolf, looked on in sorrow. As the young woman and her captor sank deeper into the icy water, all she could do was weep, and soon, she lost the strength to do even that as the shadows claimed her once again.

…Flash…

Charlene sat up with a sudden jolt and nearly blacked out again as both her head and her side made their presence felt. "Where am I?" she wondered aloud, looking around the room once the dizziness and the pain subsided.

Instead of the prison, she found herself sitting in a bed in the middle of a large, lavishly decorated bedroom. Then she looked down at herself and realized that, aside from the bandages, she was only wearing her black top and shorts. "Where the hell are my clothes?"

Deciding not to wait for an answer, the young woman carefully got to her feet, wincing as her ribs twinged again, and looked around the room for the rest of her clothes. Just then, the door opened, and Seymour sauntered into the room, smiling. "Ah, I see you have recovered, Lady Charlie," he said, looking quite pleased with himself.

"What is this place?" she asked, trying to hide her fear.

"These are my quarters," Seymour explained. "You made Lord Kinoc quite angry with you, so I thought it would be best for you to recover someplace where he could not reach you."

"Holy shit, I'm in Freak-of-the-Week's bedroom! Not good! Definitely not good!" Charlie shrieked inwardly, clenching her jaw to keep from screaming in terror. Then she forced herself to take a deep breath, and asked, "How long have I been in here?"

"Three days," he told her, his pleasant expression suddenly vanishing. "Had you been anywhere else but Bevelle, you would most likely be dead now."

"So…YOU saved me?" she asked disbelievingly. "Why? I thought you and Kinoc were buddies."

The look Seymour gave Charlie at that remark made her cringe. It was unlike anything she had ever seen before; insane hatred somehow carefully controlled by the barest of threads. "Kinoc is an arrogant fool who has interfered in my affairs for far too long," he snarled, his eyes filled with a cold, inhuman, rage. Then the anger vanished, as if it never existed, and he said, "The matter will be dealt with shortly, so there's no need to trouble ourselves with him, now is there?"

"No, there isn't, so if you'll just tell me where the rest of my clothes are, I'll get out of your hair…" Here, Charlie let out a squeak as the undead Guado drew closer and locked eyes with her.

"Are you really so anxious to leave?"

"Uh…yes?" She tried to pull herself free from his gaze, but it was like slogging through ice-cold molasses. "I have no business here, and I need to find…something," she concluded lamely. "Anyway, I can't stay here, so…uh, thanks for saving me, and good luck with whatever you have planned for Kinoc."

Charlene pushed past Seymour, fully prepared to walk out of the room in nothing but her halter-top and shorts, when the maester wrapped his arms around her from behind, preventing her departure. "You say you can't stay, but where else do you have to go?" he asked, his lips brushing her ear. "Even if you could walk right out of Bevelle, where could you go? You are not of Spira, remember, so who could you turn to? The Al Bhed are hated by everyone, the Ronso only allow summoners and their guardians near their homes, and the Guado…" He chuckled sinisterly. "The Guado will most definitely try to slay you on sight."

The young woman froze in her tracks. "He's right," she realized, "I don't have anywhere else to go." Her terror increasing, Charlie tried to pull away from Seymour, but he would not let her go. "Let go of me. I may not have anywhere to go here in Spira, but I can still find the one who brought me here and make him send me back to my own world!"

"Ah, yes," he purred, clearly relishing her discomfort, "The world that despises you. The world where they call you 'murderer', and 'monster'. The one where Marcus died because of you!"

"How did you…"

"You spoke of it in your sleep. You kept apologizing over and over, telling everyone that you were sorry, begged them to forgive you, but they refused to listen, didn't they?" Charlie choked back a sob of despair, and Seymour tightened his embrace, clearly reveling in her pain. "No, you can't go back to your own world, and you have killed so many people in this one, so what can you do?"

"Killed so many…Sin killed those people in Kilika because it was following me…and Gatta and all those poor Crusaders were slaughtered…" She tried to remember who else might have died because of her actions, but couldn't. "I don't know what you mean. Who else have I killed?"

Seymour paused, clearly taken aback by her response, and let her go. "You mean to tell me that you don't remember butchering my guards at Macalania Temple?"

"That was self-defense!" she protested, her gaze briefly flicking toward the newly acquired scar on his abdomen as she turned to face him. "You and your flunkies tried to kill us!"

"No, no, I'm talking about all the ones you killed outside the temple. The ones you cut down one by one as they retreated. I heard that you laughed the entire time, while they begged for mercy. They had surrendered, but you slaughtered them all anyway."

The way he said it, he obviously did not care that they had died, but the comment served its purpose, and the sounds of screaming and pleas for mercy echoed in Charlie's ears as she finally remembered what happened that day. "Oh my God…what have I done?" she whispered, trying to push the images out of her mind. "I never wanted to hurt anyone…"

"Maybe so, but that's a guardian's job, remember?" her conscience said. "You had no problem cutting down those Guado at Home, nor the ones on the airship…"

"Oh really? Can you honestly stand here and tell me that you have never enjoyed seeing another person's pain?" the maester asked, his voice rich with amusement.

"No…"

"You lie! You wanted to hurt Seymour for threatening your friends… You enjoyed watching him die…you enjoyed watching all those Guado die!"

"I DID NOT!" she screamed aloud, drawing a low chuckle from the Guado.

"I forgive you for killing me, you know," he told her as he ran a long finger over the pale scar, smiling when she flinched. "You and your friends actually did me a favor when you took my life, and now I have returned it by saving yours."

"Why didn't you just let me die?" "I deserve to die…"

"Do you want to disappear so badly? I know how the Farplane rejected you, how it threw you out and nearly destroyed your soul. Why should you want to vanish, when you can go home?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked foggily. "No one wants me back home…"

"No, but you can save them anyway. That would prove that you are not the monster they think you are, would it not?"

Charlene blinked dazedly. "Save them? What would you know about saving anyone?"

"Why do you think I married Lady Yuna?" he asked as his ice-blue eyes bored into hers. When she did not answer, he said, "I married her because I need her to help me save Spira, and I am telling you this because we are kindred spirits, you and I."

"No…that can't be right! I'm not like you at all!" "I'm not…am I?"

Charlie shook her head violently, and backed away from him until she ran into the wall. Still smiling, the unsent maester advanced on her, continuing to speak. "We are so much alike, Charlie. Both misunderstood and rejected by our peers…called 'monster' because of things beyond our control…having to watch a loved one die…the burning anger in our souls…I could see it in your eyes when I first saw you in Luca."

"You lie! I'm nothing like you! You're a monster, and you tried to kill me and my friends!"

"Your friends…" the Guado said flatly. "Allow me to enlighten you about the motives of your so-called 'friends'. Lady Yuna is a summoner, and Sir Auron and the others are guardians, which means that they will abandon you the moment you become a burden. Do you really want to give your loyalty to people who will leave you to die?"

"I don't…I don't…" Her mind was growing hazy, and her head hurt so much that it was getting harder to think and speak. "I can't…" "What the hell is wrong with me? I have to get away! Have to…"

"And do you really believe that you have the right to call me a monster, when you are the one the Farplane threw out like so much garbage? As for killing…despite your protests, I know that, deep down, you have developed quite a taste for it."

"No…I don't…" "This isn't right…so cold…alone…"

"I just want you to help me save Spira, Charlie," Seymour said caressingly, drawing nearer. "Help me, and then…we can go to your world, and save all the people there, too."

Before she could say or do anything, he pulled her into another embrace and kissed her. The young woman tried to pull away, but stopped and let out a muffled shriek of pain when he dug his fingers into her wounded side. That, combined with the pain in her head, proved nearly unbearable, so she was not able to resist when something cold, dark, and irredeemably evil transferred itself from him to her and made itself at home. Finally, Seymour released her, leaned forward, and with a terrible light burning in his eyes, whispered, "Mihfi li wyh idihruda…"

Suddenly, the alien darkness within her shifted, as if it had awakened, and somehow, in the depths of her soul, she heard it speak to her. ::Surrender and serve…:: it hissed, its voice like a distant echo of Seymour's as it slithered around the walls of ice in her heart.

"What the hell!" Charlie shrieked, aloud and in her thoughts.

Seymour laughed as the thing inside said, ::You belong to me now… Don't bother fighting, because you cannot win… Don't try to tell anyone, because no one will believe you anyway… Just give up and embrace your fate, Charlie…::

"I WON'T!" she yelled, shaking her head violently.

That seemed to do the trick, for the darkness retreated, although it did not dissipate completely. "I see…" Seymour commented, eyeing her thoughtfully. "You're not from Spira, so the effects are not immediate…this should be most interesting."

"What in bloody flaming hell did you do to me, you sick bastard?" she demanded. "What just happened?"

The maester ignored her, instead turning and walking toward the door. Before he left however, he paused, and said, "The rest of your clothes are in the closet on your left. I shall send a guard to escort you back to your cell shortly."

Then he departed, leaving her alone in the room once more. "What did he just do to me?" she wondered fretfully. "Whatever he just did…it's still in me, but didn't do what it was supposed to. How do I get rid of it? Wait, I can't worry about it now, 'cause I still have to get out of here."

With that, Charlene hurriedly fished her overalls, jacket, and shoes out of the closet, and managed to pull them on without aggravating her half-healed injuries too much. Just as she finished putting her shoes on, the door opened again, and a warrior monk appeared with a very impatient look on his face. "Come on, I haven't got all day!" he grumbled, gesturing toward the door.

Charlie followed her escort out the door, but spent most of the trip wiping at her mouth and trying not to throw up as Seymour's kiss popped up in her mind. "God, that was so gross! I don't know how Yuna kept her stomach from turning over!" She shuddered, and then forced the thought out of her mind. "Enough about that. It was nasty and now it's over, so I'm not going to think about it anymore!"

::No, you would rather think about kissing the old man…:: the dark voice cackled. ::I find it amusing that you have feelings for someone who is going to abandon you at the first opportunity…::

"Shut the hell up!" Charlie snarled inwardly, more than a little disturbed by the fact that a voice in her head had its own personality. "I don't have time to listen you!"

::Oh, but we have all the time in the world!:: it replied. ::I'm very patient, so I can wait for you to break down… Sooner or later, that's what's going to happen, you know…::

"No, it won't!" she muttered, drawing an odd look from the soldier as he opened the door to her cell.

Cursing under her breath, the young woman stepped into room and saw Auron sitting at the opposite end, staring at her as if she were a ghost. "Uh…hi," she said, feeling a little stupid. "He's going to kick my ass, I just know it!"

"You're alive, I see," Auron said, taking on his usual neutral expression.

"Yeah…"

"Was it worth nearly dying?"

"No."

"That was a foolish stunt you pulled!" he snapped, getting to his feet and stalking over to her. "Did you forget what I told you about Kinoc's temper?"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" she cried, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall, "I'm sorry I've got a smart mouth, and I'm sorry I made you worry! I'm just…sorry!" "I'm sorry I have to be this harsh, but I don't want you to die… The Farplane rejected you, so if you die, if your soul doesn't vanish, then you'll become an unsent and I don't want you to have to deal with that." Auron wanted to tell her that, but instead, he asked, "What did Seymour want to talk to you about?"

Charlie blinked, momentarily confused by the sudden change of subject, but then replied, "He wants me to help him save Spira. The crazy bastard kept telling me all kinds of lies, and…"

::Are you so sure that they were lies?:: asked the darkness.

"Shut up!" "And…"

::Oh, are you planning to tell him about me? I can just see how that will work out… 'Oh, Auron, it's terrible! He kissed me and now I have evil voices in my head!':: The voice laughed cruelly. ::Go ahead and tell him! It should be quite entertaining…::

"And then the freak kissed me!" she blurted after a long pause.

"I see…"

"It was really gross, too!"

"I'm sure it was," he quietly replied, despite the sudden urge to go hack the undead maester into many small pieces and feed them to a Zu. "Anything else?"

"No…" "You wouldn't believe anything else…I'd just sound like a total nut if I told you about this…whatever it is…in my head." She sighed heavily, and then walked over to a corner of the cell and sat down. "I'm sorry, but I'm kinda tired now, so I think I'll try and get some more sleep.

Then she leaned back against the wall, shut her eyes, and said nothing more. Auron watched her for a long time afterward, thinking to himself. "Something else happened in there that she didn't tell me about. Why? Is she afraid I won't believe her? Nothing that Seymour could do would surprise me, but if she won't tell me what it is, then how can I help her? She is so damn stubborn!"

"Kind of like someone else you know?" another part of him suggested slyly. "You know you like it, though. You like her."

"Yes, I do," he admitted. "But I cannot afford to act on it, no matter how much I'd like to. I'm leaving after all this is over, and I don't want to leave any loose ends behind…" Finally, he shook his head and sighed, "Standing here, talking to myself…I must be getting senile."