Sorry for the wait people. I had planned to have this ready sooner, and another Halloween story cause it was Halloween an all, but I've been sick so that never happened. Hope everything had a nice evening with lots of candy and/or booze. I don't own four brothers.

He was quiet, even more so than usual. Jack had come downstairs earlier than the rest looking like shit. His eyes were bloodshot and clothes wrinkled, it looked like he'd slept in them. He probably had. The darkness underneath his eyes made him look like someone who'd gotten his ass kicked. Bobby instantly felt guilty, something that was happening more and more when it came to Jack. He knew he should have talked to him the night before but he'd been pissed as all hell and he hadn't wanted to make anything even worse. So instead of talking to Jack or anyone else of his brothers he'd spent the night silently fuming and planning ways to kick all of their asses from his bed. Cause he knew as soon as he woke up that moving wasn't something he should be doing a whole fucking lot of right now. That pissed him off too.

Jack hadn't said anything to him as he entered, his only purpose seeming to be making sure he was still alive, before he went to the kitchen and by the sounds of it started with breakfast. Sure enough soon there was a large plate of eggs, and ham. Next to the plate was his pills. He really needed to get a hold of those himself soon. He wasn't some fucking baby they had to take care of, he could do that himself just fine. He looked up at Jack who was still avoiding his gaze.

"Thanks Jack" he managed to sound calm, and not at all like he wanted to kill someone.

Jack's eyes flickered up to meet his then, and Bobby cursed the tug in his heart as he saw the vulnerability in his youngest brother. It was a look Jack had perfected, probably cause he'd been forced to wear it so often.

"We need to talk" this time the voice wasn't as steady, and he cursed himself. He'd barely been able to listen to Jack talk about the things he'd once without throwing up, and now he was asking to hear it again, what the fuck was wrong with him.

Jack silently took a seat next to the bed. "I know you hate me" he murmured quietly and Bobby wanted to wring his neck.

"Stop that, you fucking know I don't hate you Jack. I hate what you felt like you had to do, not you". I hate myself for making you do this, he added silently to himself.

Jack nodded as if he understood, but Bobby had a feeling his words were just passing through. "I never want you to do anything like it, ever again okay?" This was important, really important, he just hoped Jack understood that too. Prison was not a place for his youngest brother, he got sick just thinking about the disgusting scum who usually resided there, not counting himself of course. Unfortunately Jack didn't seem to be on board with his line of thought since Bobby could see that defiant glint in his eyes. "I mean it Jack, don't push it" Or I might just have to whup your ass, shot or not, guilt or not.

"You would have done the same thing" Jack stated calmly.

Bobby gritted his teeth. Of course he would have, ten times over. But that didn't mean he wanted his little brother going around offing people left and right like a sport. "I would have, but that's different" he ground out.

"Why? Cause I'm the kid?" Jack's voice was unusally bitter and it threw Bobby a little.

"No, cause I don't want you doing that shit Jack"

"You don't have a problem with Angel doing it" Jack pointed out.

"Angel's done it before, he can handle it"

"I can too" Jack shot back at him.

"Oh yeah? Why does your clothes smell like a joint downtown then Jackie?"

Jack's eyes widened and his mouth snapped shut. Of course Bobby noticed, Bobby always fucking noticed. Here he was, shot up and straight out of a coma and he could smell a mile away that Jack had smoked a little. He wondered if the rest was as obvious too, he really hoped it wasn't. He cursed himself for not changing his clothes, but he hadn't even thought about it. He'd just been so tired, he doubted he would have left the bed if Bobby hadn't been downstairs recovering. Bobby was expecting an answer though, and just because telling the truth wasn't what he did best he just said "It's just a little weed Bobby, it's fine". Which was obviously the wrong thing to say as Bobby's eyes tightened. He started to say something, probably something pissed off but then he stopped, and as Jack watched he sighed, and looked down.

"Look Jack, I know I fucked up, and I know you feel like shit, but this is not gonna help you alright?"

"Stop saying that" Jack mumbled, holding his body in a stiff manner "I know it's my fault, you don't have to act like this"

"Act like what? Like I fucking care? Cause I do, and I want to help you"

Jack wanted nothing more than to just lean back and let Bobby fix everything, fix him, just like he'd always done before. But this wasn't before, he wasn't a kid anymore and he shouldn't need his big brother to clean up his messes anymore. So he just mumbled out something about quitting, before taking a seat on the couch. His breakdown from before was still fresh in his mind and he couldn't help but feel ashamed. Bobby had his own shit to deal with right now without him adding to the list. He couldn't help it though, every time something happened he was drawn to Bobby, knowing he could take care of everything.

Bobby saw the conflict on his face and he sighed, his anger melting away. He never could stay mad at Jack, it didn't matter what he did. But like always with Jack you had to be careful, so he wouldn't shut his mouth and refuse to open it again, something that usually happened with Jack. "Hey. Can you help me up the stairs? Need the toilet" He almost gritted the words out, asking for help was something he almost never did, but when he did he always asked his brothers. Anyone else would hold it against him.

Jack's head snapped up quickly before he managed to hide his surprise at the question. He'd thought he would have to lie in wait for when Bobby would try to sneak up himself. It wouldn't have surprised him. He stepped forward as Bobby pushed himself up to sitting on the bed and slowly swung his legs over, wincing. He watched worriedly, wondering if Bobby even could walk up the stairs with help with the way he looked like right now... He looked up at him and Jack could see a quick flash of self loathing in his eyes. His oldest brother had always resented any sign of weakness in himself. He wordlessly reached out an arm and placed it around Bobby carefully, knowing he could throw it away in a fit.

He didn't. Instead he pushed off the bed with Jack's help and they stood in silence for a few minutes until Bobby's vision wasn't dancing. His chest hurt like a bitch and going back to the bed sounded like the best fucking idea ever, but then he would have to pee in a bottle or something else, and he would never get over the humiliation of that. So he tried to step forward, and with Jack supporting most of his weight they slowly moved towards the stairs.

"You okay?" Jack asked quietly, feeling the strain in his brothers body as they took the first couple of steps.

"Fine" Bobby gritted out, holding back the relieved sigh when they finally reached the top. "No peaking now fairy"

Jack snorted. "No problem"

The walk down the stairs was every bit as tough as the walk up, and when Bobby was finally back in his bed he was exhausted. He ate a little, and then before he knew what happened he was fast asleep.

Jack was drinking coffee and listening to the radio when Angel stepped in to the kitchen. He took one look at Angel's rumpled clothing. "Where you've been?"

"Out chasing Sofi. She got mad last night and took off. Been trying to find her ever since"

Jack stared at him silently, wondering if should tell his brother how stupid he was. Everyone knew that if a girl wanted to hide there was no point in looking. Especially not if the girl was pissed and named Sofi. But instead of voicing his opinion on the matter he took another swallow of his coffee. Soon Jerry appeared in the doorway too. "Hey you know what's just round the corner?"

"Sofi?" Jack mumbled into his cup of coffee.

"Christmas" Jerry declared like he was revealing a big secret, and in a way he was. Both his brothers head snapped up and he knew they had no clue what date it was today.

Jack sighed. Christmas. The first christmas without his mother, at least the first one without her since he'd first met Evelyn. And he thought Thanksgiving had been hard... The brothers were quiet for awhile. Evelyn had loved christmas, and she had loved giving. Now she was gone and they were left to celebrate without her, and they didn't really know how. Time had passed by so fast that he hadn't even noticed that it was december now. He hadn't even noticed any christmas decorations when he went to the store.

"So..." Angel looked at them, everyone one of them feeling a little dread at the upcoming holiday.

He didn't really feel like celebrating, but maybe, just maybe it could make them come together again, Jack mused. Bobby was still pissed at Angel and Jerry, and they were all still weighted down with guilt. Maybe celebrating christmas together would be good for them. He liked that thought. "We'll need a tree".

"And alcohol" Angel quipped.

Bobby woke to the sound of arguing and for awhile he thought he was back at the hospital and the old lady in the room down the hall was shrieking about needing the bathroom again, but no, this was even more familiar. This was his youngest brother telling the other two that a plastic tree (?) wasn't even close to a real one. Why it would be he had no idea? He opened his eyes and turned over on his side to watch them. He could tell they were trying to be quiet, probably not to wake the sleeping bear. He snorted at that.

"No" Jack's voice was unusually determined. "Ma always had a real tree"

"But this one is good too" Jerry tried to reason, holding up a box of something Bobby couldn't make out.

"It looks like shit" Angel deadpanned.

"Fine, fine" Jerry backed off and placed the box near the door "but you two can go get it then"

"I don't have any money" Jack shrugged, though that wasn't true, he just wanted to tease Jer a little.

Jerry sighed.

"We don't need money" Angel stated "we just need a saw and some rope"

"No no no, you're not gonna steal someones tree for godsakes" Jerry exclaimed.

"I have money" Angel said "I just thought it could be fun"

"Stealing a tree would be fun?" Jerry asked in disbelief "Come on now"

"Lighten up Jerry, it's christmas" Angel slapped him on the back, causing him to stumble a little and glare.

Christmas? How long had he been asleep?

"Jack you'll take care of the food right?" Angel asked.

He only rolled his eyes in response. Who else would do it?

"I really hope you're not planning on buying me a bedpan this year" Bobby spoke up, making everyone look at him.

"You're awake" Jack stated softly.

"Yeah, and wondering how long I've been asleep. Is it christmas already?"

"In 4 days" Jerry said "but we have a few things to take care of so we need to start right away". Jer was a control freak with things like that, always needed to plan everything.

Bobby felt a sting of annoyance as he realised that he was pretty much useless in helping with anything right now.

"Wonder if Ma still keeps the decorations in the closet..." Jerry mumbled and took off in search for them as Jack sat down and prepared a shopping list.

"Don't forget the beer" Bobby stold him "I could use a few right now"

"You shouldn't drink while on medication" Jack stated, looking for all the world just like Evelyn right then.

"Whatever" Bobby thought Jack really shouldn't talk right now, since he still smelled like weed and was an expert at mixing all sort of things. He didn't say that though, for the first time since everything had come out he felt like they were headed somewhere good, and he didn't want to ruin it right now. He was still pissed, or scratch that, he was furious, but right now he didn't want to fight.

"Wondering if Sofi will come?" Angel mumbled distractedly.

"Of course she will, why wouldn't she? She'll have a whole evening to piss me off" Bobby told him.

"Do you think Camille and the kids are coming?" Jack asked suddenly, looking up from his list, wondering if he should add food for them as well, just in case. Chances were that there wouldn't be anything left after his brothers had cleaned house otherwise. Also he knew Jerry missed his daughers. They hadn't really been around much since, well whatever it was Jerry and Camille had done. Not that they'd been here much either, they'd mostly been at the hospital.

"Probably not" Angel said quietly.

Bobby was quiet. He knew something had happened between Jerry and his wife obviously, and he had a feeling it was partly about him. He felt bad, but he didn't know how to fix it.

"Here they are" Jerry came lugging a big box into the room.

"We still need a tree" Angel seemed to have dropped the thoughts about Sofi for now and was now focusing.

"We can get one today" Jack shrugged. Shopping for a tree seemed like a good distraction.