AN: The wait is finally over lol, and the big question is, will Clarke forgive Lexa? Read to find out, and I hope you enjoy it!

The sound of loud chatter was all around Lexa as she stood in the center of the bar, a splash of blond on a barstool catching her eye. Lexa's brows knitted in confusion. She thought that she had already left the bar, vaguely remembered carrying Clarke into the hospital, and she wondered if she had simply imagined all of it. Clarke then stood from the barstool, and Lexa hurried over to loop an arm around her waist, steadying her as she wobbled. Clarke immediately pushed her away, blue eyes sparking with fury.

"I hate you, Lexa."

Lexa blinked away the tears that pricked her eyes at the statement, feeling an extreme sense of déjà vu. "Please, Clarke, just come with me."

The blonde was in the process of shaking her head, about to snap out some equally nasty remark, when her eyes rolled back, and she collapsed to the floor. Lexa's eyes widened with fright, and she instantly crouched down beside her roommate, trembling with worry and an immense guilt. This was her fault, after all.

"Clarke," she called desperately, but she received no response. Her hand immediately went in front of the blonde's mouth, horror flowing through her veins when she felt no air hitting the back of it.

"She's not breathing!" Lexa yelled out to no one in particular.

Someone dropped down beside Lexa, but she found that she could not tear her eyes away from the girl on the floor long enough to tell if it was a man or a woman. All of her focus was on the words that she was currently chanting in her head.

Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. I can't live without you.

Her heart stopped when she heard a female voice declare, "No pulse."

Wailing in agony, Lexa sprang from the floor, eyes darting over the sea of people who had gathered to see what the commotion was. "Somebody, please help!"

That's when her stepfather emerged from the crowd, pushing people aside until he stood in front of Lexa with a smirk on his face, a tiny spark of triumph in his cold eyes. "There's no bringing her back, Lexa. She's dead."

The brunette's head spun. He had to be lying. Clarke couldn't be dead. Lexa couldn't accept that.

"You killed her," her stepfather sneered.

Lexa shook her head in disbelief. For the first time ever, her stepfather was no longer her greatest problem, and she easily tore her gaze away from his to look at the girl on the floor, his mocking laughter fading into the background as Lexa finally crumpled.

"Clarke, please don't leave me," Lexa whimpered, tears flowing from her eyes as they sprang open to land on Raven's warm brown ones.

"Lexa, it was just a dream. Clarke's going to be fine," Raven reassured, holding on to Lexa's hands. "They had to pump her stomach, but she is recovering now. Abby's with her."

Taking in her surroundings, Lexa saw that she was sitting in the hospital waiting room, and she realized that she must have dozed off while waiting for the others to arrive. Raven was now sitting beside her, Octavia occupied the chair on Raven's other side, and of course, the hospital staff would have notified Clarke's mother. Lexa knew that she had to have been asleep for a few hours if Abby was already here.

Lexa tried her best to shake her nightmare, but even the news that Clarke was going to be alright did nothing to calm Lexa's racing heart and fast breathing. She could still picture the blonde's lifeless form lying on the ground. She felt like she was going to be sick at the knowledge that the blonde's last words to her in the dream had been "I hate you." What was even worse was that those words hadn't merely been a part of the dream. Clarke had said them in real life as well, more than once, and it looked like the blonde had meant them.

The feeling of her throat closing up caused Lexa's eyes to widen in panic. She should have expected it; this happened to her every time that she woke up nowadays. She wanted, needed, to bring her hands up to her throat, but they were still being clasped in Raven's, and she found herself collapsing against the other girl's chest.

"Lexa, are you alright?" Raven asked, concern lacing her voice.

For a scary second, Lexa could not speak, so she was unable to tell Raven what was wrong. It was clear to her that the other girl just thought that she needed to be comforted after the dream she had woken up from, and she briefly wondered if this would be the time that she never took another breath. Determined not to die, she summoned all of her strength and forced out a few words, despite her struggle for air. "I can't…breathe."

Raven understood in an instant, and she peeled Lexa away from her, forcing green eyes onto hers. For the first time, Lexa was glad that this other girl had been present when Anya had instructed Clarke on how to take care of her during panic attacks.

Lexa barely registered it when Octavia sprang up from her chair and ran out into the hallway, presumably in the direction of the nurses' station. All she could focus on was Raven's determined voice. "Lexa, focus on calming down, okay? You can get your airway to open on its own if you stop getting yourself so worked up."

Lexa shook her head. "I…need…a bag," she gasped out, shaking with the effort.

"No, you don't," Raven told her. "You can do this. All you have to do is think comforting thoughts. Think about Clarke. She wouldn't want you to suffocate out here. If anything, you need to stay alive for her."

Lexa knew that Raven was right, even with the shortage of oxygen to her brain. If Clarke had overdosed on alcohol because Lexa had been avoiding her, what would happen to the blonde if Lexa died? The brunette's first instinct at not being able to breathe was to panic and claw at her throat, and she already felt herself calming slightly at having her hands held away. She focused on the memory of blue eyes as much as she focused on the brown eyes in front of her, and she felt herself overcome with thoughts of her girlfriend. Clarke smiling. Clarke laughing. Clarke looking at Lexa like she was the only person that she would ever want in this world. Lexa smiled in relief when she felt air entering her lungs again, sucking in deep gulps of it as she brought Raven's hand up to her hair. Raven caught on immediately, running her fingers through chestnut curls, and Lexa leaned into the overwhelming comfort of the touch.

She looked at Raven with awe-filled green eyes. "You were right. I got my throat to open up on my own."

"I told you that you could do it." Raven looked slightly proud of herself.

Octavia raced into the room, a nurse following closely behind. The brunette skidded to a halt when she took in the scene in front of her, eyes widening in disbelief as she clutched a bag in her hands. "What happened?"

"Lexa got through it on her own," Raven said. "All I had to do was tell her that Clarke needed her to stay alive, and she focused harder than I've ever seen her focus on anything. She was telling the truth, O. She still loves Clarke."

A relieved smile spread across Octavia's face, and she was about to respond when the nurse interrupted. "If you don't mind, I'd still like to take a quick look at you to make sure that everything's fine. It's standard protocol."

Lexa very much minded. The poking and prodding that doctors normally did made Lexa extremely uncomfortable, but she nodded her permission anyway, not wanting to make a scene in front of Octavia and Raven.

The nurse looked over Lexa, making sure that her heart rate was back to normal and that nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. The brunette didn't even realize how tense her shoulders were throughout the entire ordeal until they slumped in relief once the nurse was gone. Octavia opened her mouth to say something, but Abby chose that exact moment to make an appearance.

Lexa was out of her seat, completely forgetting about the other two, the moment that she saw the older woman. "How is she?"

"She's going to be fine, but they want to keep her overnight for observation." Abby shook her head in confusion. The stress lines upon her face were a clear indication of the strain that the older Griffin had been under ever since she had received the news that her daughter was in the hospital.

"How did this happen?" Abby asked, looking expectantly at Lexa. "I mean, I'm aware of the fake ID she used to get into the bar, but I don't understand why she would relapse. I thought she was doing so well here."

Lexa hung her head in shame, unable to meet those distraught eyes, exactly like her roommate's except in color, for a single moment longer. "It's my fault."

"How? What did you do to her?" Abby demanded, and Lexa was taken aback at the sudden wave of protectiveness that the woman displayed for her daughter.

The brunette swallowed thickly, wishing that she could be anywhere else, but she knew that she needed to own up to her mistakes, even if it meant that Abby might hate her as much as Clarke did. "Clarke and I haven't been on the best of terms since we last saw you, and I have been treating her rather unfairly. I never thought that she would go and do something like this." Lexa finally found the strength to raise her tear-filled eyes back up to look at Abby. "I was a fool, and I am so sorry."

Lexa sniffled, but her expression shifted to one of curiosity when she saw the anger slowly leaving Abby's eyes, presumably at the heartbroken look that was displayed on Lexa's own face. The younger girl could see the conflict on Abby's features, the way that she was struggling with whether or not to give Lexa a piece of her mind for all of the pain that she had put her daughter through. Lexa waited for her punishment, knowing that she deserved to be screamed at, but the yelling never came, Abby's face morphing into a more sympathetic one as she cleared her throat. "Is this about what happened last month?"

"You could say that, but it's all my fault, and I promise you that it will never happen again." Lexa didn't want Clarke to shoulder any of the blame as far as her mother was concerned, even though the brunette technically hadn't forced Clarke to go out and get drunk. The very thought of Abby pulling Clarke out of Polis due to this incident caused Lexa's heart to race with anxiety. She didn't think that she would ever be okay again if she lost Clarke.

After several seconds of tense silence, Abby nodded. "Go talk to her."

Lexa's eyebrows shot up in surprise, having thought that Abby wouldn't want her anywhere near her daughter after this. She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, her words were cut off.

"It's apparent that you two have a lot to talk about." Abby crossed her arms over her chest, and Lexa got the message loud and clear. This was her chance to make things right with Clarke, and she had better not screw it up. "She's in room 303."

"Thank you." Lexa quickly headed for the hallway, not wanting to waste another moment when she could be with Clarke.

"Oh, and Lexa?" Abby's voice caused her to stop in her tracks, green eyes slowly turning back to look at the older woman. "Do better this time."

Lexa nodded in understanding, taking the warning for what it was, before turning once more to head into the hallway that would lead her to her roommate. Abby was right when she had said that the two girls had a lot to talk about, but Lexa did not know how much of it, if any, would be good. She didn't think her roommate would want to take her back based on what she had said in the car, but that didn't stop Lexa from trying. She was determined not to leave room 303 until Clarke was convinced that Lexa still loved her.

When she reached the room, she paused outside of it, squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath, before pushing open the door. The first thing that she noticed was that Clarke looked way too pale and way too small lying in that hospital bed. The second thing that she noticed was that Clarke was alive, and that was really all that mattered to Lexa at the moment.

Blue eyes glanced up to meet Lexa's, and the brunette's heart sunk when she noticed the anger that was present in them again. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I, um, I just wanted to apologize to you for being such a bitch," Lexa said in a small voice.

"It's too late for that, Lexa," Clarke snapped. "I almost died because of you."

Lexa felt a lump rise in her throat, but she also felt a surge of anger at the accusation. "I will admit that we were both in the wrong here, but you can't pin the entire blame on me. I may have been the reason that you were upset, Clarke, but I was not the one who told you to go out and get slammed. That was all you, and you need to own up to what you've done, too. I mean, I may be a worthless piece of shit, Clarke, and I may not deal with my problems in the best way either, but I'd never do anything life-threatening. So, yes, you could've died today, and you scared me half to death, but that was all because of you."

Clarke's jaw set in anger, and she didn't respond for several seconds. "Why did you even come after me? You clearly haven't cared about me at all for the past month, so why would you start now?"

"I do care, Clarke," Lexa argued. "I never stopped caring about you. The only reason that I didn't come up to the attic right away was because I had detention after school, and the only reason that I was pushing you away in the first place was because I didn't want you to be stuck with someone like me. I can never do anything right, and I'm hard to handle, and I always end up finding some way to hurt your feelings, just like this. I thought that if I started avoiding you, then you would finally get the sense to break up with me and find someone who actually deserves you."

"That wasn't your decision to make, Lexa," Clarke seethed. "If you were so worried that you weren't good enough for me, then you should have come to talk to me like a goddamn adult."

"I know." Lexa hung her head. "God, when I saw that drawing, I realized just how wrong I had gotten it. I had never understood how you could look at someone as pathetic and me and see someone important, but I saw it in that drawing. The way you saw me was nothing like the way I saw myself. You loved me, and I went and screwed up the one thing that made my life worth living. I feel like a complete idiot."

Lexa broke off, shaking her head as her tears escaped. "When you fell unconscious in that car, I was so scared that you were going to die, and I realized that my life would be nothing without you. I thought that maybe you might have felt the same way about me, and I finally understood why you were pushed to this point. You thought I didn't care about you, and I am so sorry for ever making you think that. I never would've been able to live with myself if you had died, especially if I had a hand in it."

Clarke remained silent, looking as if she was warring with herself, like she couldn't decide whether she wanted to comfort Lexa or tell her to get lost. Lexa waited with bated breath for Clarke to collect her thoughts, daring to hope that the blonde's compassionate side might win out. Blue eyes were full of sorrow when she finally responded. "Lex, I don't think that I can forgive you for this one. I'm sorry, but you're not good for me right now, and I think it would be best if we spent some time apart."

Lexa felt like she had been sucker punched, all of the breath leaving her lungs as she fell to her knees in front of her roommate, not even caring that tears were pouring from her eyes as she turned her gaze back up to the blonde. "I know that you must hate me right now, but I want you to know that I still love you with all of my heart, even if you can never forgive me. I understand your decision. I am not good for you. I don't really think that I can ever be good for anyone, but if we find a way to be friends again someday, I promise that I will never make this mistake again. I will always talk to you about what is bothering me, even if my instincts are screaming at me to push you away, because I never, ever want to hurt you like this again. I'm sorry for being such a disappointment."

"You're not a disappointment, Lexa," Clarke said with a sigh. "I know that you were only trying to do what was best for me, but I think you understand now that you don't know what's best for me. What was best for me was you. I was so damn happy with you, Lexa, maybe happier than I've ever been in my life, and I never thought that you were worthless. I still don't. You will never be worthless to me, Lexa."

Astonishment played out in green eyes as she looked up at Clarke. "But my stepfather—"

"Don't ever listen to your stepfather, Lexa. I realize that no one ever defended you to him, not even your own mother, but trust me when I say that he's the piece of shit, not you. He only called you all of those awful things because he didn't want to face the fact that they applied to him instead of you." Clarke paused, looking down at where her hands were fiddling with her hospital gown, before bringing her eyes back up to meet Lexa's. "You can be hard to handle sometimes, but that doesn't mean that I didn't love you or that you didn't deserve me. You do deserve to be loved, Lexa. Maybe more than anyone else on this planet. The truth is that I don't think that I will ever be happy with anyone else because they're not you."

Lexa didn't know what this information meant for them, but it was reassuring to hear it, even if it was too late. She could see that the blonde was growing more tired by the second, and she thought that it was probably time for her to leave. However, she knew that she couldn't leave that room without letting the blonde know how much she meant to her one more time. "I love you, Clarke."

Clarke only stared at her for a moment, and Lexa was about to get up and hurry out of the room before she started crying again when Clarke finally spoke. "I love you, too."

Love. Lexa couldn't help but notice that Clarke had used the present tense of the word. She tried not to let her hope play out on her face though. Just because Clarke still loved her didn't mean that the blonde would want to be with her anymore. Things were clearly over between them, at least for the time being.

She looked down at the item that was wrapped around her wrist, the item that she had almost forgotten that she had plucked from her nightstand before heading up to the attic, what felt like ages ago. A new strength flowed through Lexa at Clarke's words, and she carefully pulled the item off of her wrist, standing up and crossing the short distance between herself and Clarke, where she promptly held it out for the blonde to take. "For you."

Clarke's eyebrows knitted in confusion, but Lexa didn't miss the tiny smile that was threatening to come over her lips. "The headband that I stole from you in our first week of school?"

"This headband was the cause of one of our first fights, back when we hated each other, back when we probably wouldn't have been able to stomach the idea of ever loving each other," Lexa said with the faintest smile. "I know that it's too late now and that you may very well never wish to speak to me again, but I still want you to have this as my way of saying that I never want to have another fight with you."

Tears welled in Clarke's eyes as she accepted the headband, immediately pushing it into her hair. She was silent for several long seconds, and Lexa shifted awkwardly, wondering if this was her cue to leave or if the blonde had simply run out of things to say. Lexa was speculating that Clarke might have fallen asleep with her eyes open when the blonde scooted over and patted the space beside her.

Lexa looked up in surprise, meeting Clarke's eyes for confirmation that her roommate actually wanted this, and she received a nod in return. She wondered why Clarke wanted her to get into the bed, thinking that maybe the blonde was just being polite so that Lexa did not have to sleep in a chair in the waiting room. Yes, that must be it, she thought. She was about to tell Clarke that she would be fine in a chair (she had already been sleeping in one, after all), but she decided that it would probably be best to accept Clarke's small act of kindness, even if it made her feel slightly awkward.

She rigidly laid down beside Clarke, lying on her back and keeping her eyes fixed on the ceiling. She was careful to keep ample space between herself and the blonde, not wanting to irritate the other girl or ruin this more amicable mood that had settled between them. Clarke let out a breathy laugh, and Lexa's brows furrowed in confusion, wondering what was so funny. Before she got a chance to ask, Clarke was pulling Lexa against her, and the brunette instantly melted into her side, even though she was surprised that Clarke was allowing this contact. She couldn't stop a sigh from escaping her lips as she burrowed her face into the blonde's chest, wondering why Clarke wanted Lexa to lie against her. This time, Lexa couldn't crush down the hope that was blossoming inside her.

"Are we okay, Clarke?" Lexa dared to ask after several seconds had passed in silence.

She wanted to smack herself in the forehead the minute that the words were out of her mouth, hoping desperately that she hadn't just ruined this tentative peace.

"Yes." Lexa relaxed as the blonde placed a kiss against her head, and she burrowed deeper into her roommate.

Several seconds passed before Clarke spoke again, so softly that it was hard to hear her over the beeping of the heart monitor. "I'm not breaking up with you, LW."

Lexa's lips quivered, wondering if it was possible that she had heard correctly. "Really?"

"Really," Clarke confirmed.

Tears began cascading down Lexa's cheeks, creating a damp spot against the blonde's hospital gown. She felt that she had been crying too much today, but she couldn't help herself in her immense relief. Clarke said nothing, simply holding Lexa as her sobs shook her. Lexa murmured "thank you" over and over again, unable to fully express the gratitude that she felt about having been given a second chance. She had thought that she had lost Clarke forever, and she vowed to herself that she would never do anything that could even possibly mess up their beautiful relationship ever again. The two girls fell asleep that night, tangled up in each other after far too long, and Lexa finally slept soundly throughout the night, no nightmare to wake her up in the morning.