- Well get some rest you need it, let's talk about this later...
John sighed.
He turned the lights off and left Sherlock's room.
He sat in his chair in the living room, with his tea. Thinking. Of course there must have been something for Sherlock to become like this. You don't become a cold unsensitive asshole just like that, something must had happened. But what? And was it linked with his panick attacks ?
He wished Sherlock would trust him enough to tell him, but getting through this man's shell was almost impossible.
Interrupted by some noises from Sherlock's room, John stood up and decided to go check on his friend.
What he saw this time hurt him, a lot. Sherlock was hitting the walls with his fists, you could see the anger on his face, all red and the eyes wet.
- Sherlock what the hell are you doing ? said John running toward him trying to stop him from hurting himself.
"I HATE this. " were the only words his roommate said.
- Come on, calm down, come with me... John put a hand on his shoulder, the other on his arm, look what you've done to yourself...
Sherlock's hand were bleeding.
Both men sat down and John brought some first aid box, taking care of Sherlock's wounds.
- You know, Sherlock... it kinda hurts me to see you like this... talk to me, please... he said, looking right into the detective's eyes.
- There are nights like those, when everything comes right back into my face, every feeling that I tried to forget, every memories I wanted to erase. All that stuff comes back in a very random moment and here I am like a bloody child, weak.
- Listen... John blushed. There is one thing that works against this. Just... mh, let me... well, it's your doctor speaking of course. So just do as I say and lie down.
Sherlock wasn't really confident but he did it anyway.
- Now close your eyes.
He did it.
Suddenly he felt another body on his back. John was lying down next to him, well, he was really close. Sherlock wasn't used to this but it didn't feel awkward at all, bizarrely. It even felt comforting. Then he could feel John's hand cuddling his arms.
- John.
- Y..yeah ?
- One thing. Just... don't mention it... to... people.
- of course not, doctor-patient confidentiality.
Sherlock closed his eyes and finally let himself falling asleep, now he wasn't alone anymore. John was there to face those rough nights with him.