He'd been in a funk since Caritas had been wrecked, but now that he was getting so close to reopening, Lorne was on cloud nine. He didn't even care – too much, anyway – that Arnie was overcharging him and pretending to have problems so he could keep on doing it. Did the man not realize he hummed when he worked, or did he think Lorne could only read people when they flat out sang? Either way, Lorne was in a good mood, and he was going to let it slide for now.
In fact, he was in such a good mood that he was just about to send all the workers home for the day when Angel's group, sans the brooding cupcake himself, burst through the door and tromped down the steps into his club. Oh boy. This did not bode well. Especially with the very impossibly pregnant vampire headed straight towards him.
"You!" she practically growled, grabbing him by the shirt. There was a wild look in her eyes, almost like a wildcat caught in a trap. Or some poor victim forced to listen to Angel butchering Mandy. "Oh, Danny Boy," she yell-sang at him. "Tell me how to get this thing and its soul the hell out of me!"
Fuzzy images and feelings came to him, filtered through Darla from the mystery bun in her oven. There wasn't much of a future there for mama, but that could mean anything from her getting dusted to just the kiddo being born. At that point, the soul wouldn't be in her anymore.
"Whoa, yeah, we're way beyond singing, honey," Lorne said, getting himself loose. "How did this happen?"
"Angel boned her," Cordelia snapped.
Eesh. She was one unhappy firecracker about that fact. Not that he could blame her. Angel and Darla? Very bad juju there. "A child born of two vampires? Woo boy, no telling what that's going to turn out to be."
"Whatever it is," Wesley said, "It's alive and apparently has a soul."
"Yeah, well, so do chaos demons," Lorne pointed out, "and I wouldn't want to invite one home. Though to be fair, that has more to do with the slime. Let me tell you, there is no getting that out of the carpet."
"Good, bad, ugly, I. Don't. Care!" Darla snarled as she paced restlessly. "I just want it ou-" She broke off with a wince of pain and put a hand against her lower back.
"Is there somewhere she can rest?" Cordelia asked.
"Yeah, of course, she can use my…." He stopped, his attention suddenly grabbed by the pure, musical sound of a baby's giggle. There she was, being held by the scrumptious bit of beefcake who had slipped in with the others. "There's a room set up for employees if they need to crash."
Cordelia gave him a look, no doubt catching his change there. A baby in hand trumped one in the oven, though, as probably no one had ever said. It was a good saying though. He'd have to remember it.
"It has both a bed and a comfy armchair," he said, pointing the way.
"Charles, maybe you should go with them," the little bird they'd rescued from his home dimension suddenly chirped as Cordelia led Darla towards the room.
"Good idea," the man said, eyes narrowing slightly. "Maybe she's feelin' that soul a little better now that she knows it's there, but shedid try to eat a baby. And when that didn't work out, she snacked on Spike here." He pointed to the vampire with the baby.
"Gee, thanks for the concern," Darla drawled, "but I'm actually full now. The more the merrier, I guess. You never know when I might want another snack."
"Bitch ought to still be in chains," Spike muttered in an absolutely delicious accent.
If the little princess's emotions were to be believed – and Lorne for one made it a rule to never doubt a baby – that was Mama she was being snuggled by, very obvious maleness be damned. Which meant Darla wasn't the first vampire to survive the beginning stages of a mystical pregnancy. He'd heard vague rumors about someone getting a vampire all the way through one caused by the So'voriku fertility ritual, but hadn't really believed it. It looked like he had the proof right here in his club.
"Yeah, well, we didn't bring the chains with us," Cordelia said. "Maybe Angel will think of it if he isn't too busy boinking his other ex and risking his soul." She stomped off into the employee room at that, with Darla and Gunn right behind.
Spike looked like he'd been slapped in the face with a trout, then stabbed right through his non-beating heart with it. Poor crumpet. Baby girl picked up his distress enough that she started fussing, but that was soon put to rights by Spike humming her a lullaby.
Lorne froze, feeling like he'd been walloped with that same fish, though it was a surprise thing in his case. He was looking at one order of vampire with a soul, hold the curse. And a sweet soul it was, at that. A good man settled in with a demon, both working towards being the best they could. It would seriously make a fantastic movie.
He shook off the thought to focus on Wesley and Fred. "Okay, you guys wanna give me the four-one-one here? Because I'm feeling a bit in the dark." He made his way towards Spike and held his arms out. "Can I hold her? Promise I'll give her right back as soon as you ask."
Spike hesitated, but the little girl babbled happily and reached towards him while staring intently at his nose like it was the most magnificent thing she had ever seen. Lorne waggled his brows. "What can I say, the ladies all love me."
That got a snort and a slight smile, followed by the baby being passed over to him. "Careful," Spike warned. "She's stronger than she looks."
"There's a prophecy about the arising or birth of the Tro-clan," Wesley began to explain. "It could be either a destroyer or a purifier and is very likely to be Darla and Angel's child. There's also, uh, a chance it may be her." He inclined his head towards the little snugglepoo in Lorne's arms.
Lorne readjusted the precious little bundle of possibilities as she tried to grab his nose. She got distracted by her own hand as it entered her field of vision and squealed happily. She was too new for him to really read her most likely path, though there were some dark possibilities involving that law firm Angel had been so obsessed with. If she made it through that, though, the little lady was free and clear to choose her own life. Closest thing she had to a destiny was the good chance she'd end up part of a retro punk band in her teens.
"Oh, no, no, no," he said, bouncing the baby a little. "You aren't some big nasty Tro-clan, are you, darling?" He looked back at Wesley. "She really isn't. Baby laughter is pretty much music. If she was your prophesied boogle, I'd have sensed it."
"Told you Thursday wasn't your bloody Tro-clan," Spike grumbled, reaching out for the baby.
Poor cupcake. He looked a bit frayed around the edges. How much blood had Darla drained from him, anyway? Based on the flashes Lorne had gotten from the humming, it hadn't been enough to harm the little sister Spike had brewing for Thursday. He definitely looked like he could use a rest, though.
Lorne gave the baby a kiss on the forehead before giving her back. "Thursday, huh? Good name. She has far to go in life."
The vampire grinned at that and started to say something, but Fred jumped in at that point.
"Cordelia had a vision. Some people are coming for Darla, Spike, and Thursday. That's part of why we're here. They need someplace safe while we work more on figuring out the prophecy."
"Here?" Lorne didn't even try to keep the dismay out of his voice. "The little princess and her daddy are welcome to stay as long as they need to, but you want me to let Darla stay? The wicked bitch of the west and carrier of your possible destroyer? Nu-uh. Not happening."
"But –"
"When Angel gets here, find someplace else to stash her," he said, cutting Fred off.
He put a hand on Spike's shoulder and started steering him towards his room, pausing for a moment to look at the workers, who had all either been ignoring things or just pretending really well. "That's a wrap, guys. Head on home. Vamoose. Get the hell out." He looked at Arnie as the man began to gather his stuff. "Except for you. I want the security systems up and running within the hour."
"Lorne, I told you –"
Lorne held up his hand in a stopping motion. "I don't want to hear it. You hum when you work, so I know you're scamming me." Spike stiffened beside him. "Don't worry, shortcake. Unless it's about the end of the world, I don't kiss and tell when it comes to my readings." He focused back on Arnie. "Get it working, or I'll spread the word that you can't be trusted, capiche?"
He had the feeling they were going to need all of the club's protections up and running as soon as possible.
…
...
Boinking his other ex and risking his soul. The words wriggled through Spike's mind like poisonous worms as he followed Lorne into a fairly posh little living space. He knew that Buffy loved him. He knew it. But then, he'd known the same of Drusilla, and how many times had he found her with Angelus, skirts around her ears as her precious "daddy" ploughed her senseless?
He dropped down to sit on the bed and laid Thursday down on her back. She immediately rolled over onto her hands and knees and trundled towards the edge. Before he could snag her away from it, Lorne sang wordlessly at her, which stopped her in her tracks.
"Told her that going over the edge would hurt," the green demon explained.
"Nifty trick, that. Don't suppose there's any way you can convince her little sis to lay off on the cravings for greasy potato products? You've any idea how hard it is to find a place that serves a decent order of chips at three in the bloody morning in Sunnydale?"
"Sorry, crumpet," Lorne said with a slight smile. "Pretty sure she doesn't have ears yet."
"Didn't think so, but was worth a shot, yeah?" he said with an answering smile. It faded away as the memory of Angel and Buffy making googly eyes at each other back in the day invaded his mind. "Did…when I was hummin' earlier, did you happen to, uh, see anything with a pretty blond woman? A real scrapper. Vampire slayer, and this one's," he scooped Thursday into his arms, "and her sis's mum."
"I usually don't get a lot if it's not a full blown song," Lorne said apologetically. "But I did see that woman a lot. I think she's going to be part of your life for a good long time." He patted Spike on the back. "Thursday's a smart kid, she'll stay away from the edges, so you can get some rest."
Then he left the room, leaving Spike alone with his thoughts and wiggly little sprog. He sighed and let Thursday loose to crawl about on the bed. He stood up, shrugging out of his coat before stretching out on the bed. She doesn't love that tosser anymore, he reminded himself. She doesn't….
Images of Dru and Angelus together danced through his head. Buffy and Angel making mooneyes at each other while claiming to just be friends. Angelus's soft and persuasive words whispered into his own ear, making him feel…. Spike shuddered and forced it all away. He loved Buffy, and she loved him. And he was bloody well worthy of that love. No matter what anyone else thought. No matter what Angel….
God, he was tired, the few short naps he'd managed had actually made him groggier. His eyes slid closed, dropping him into uneasy dreams until a warm, familiar body curled along his back, her strong arms holding him tight. Still half asleep, he turned to face her, burying his face against her breasts. He drifted back down with the scent of milk and Buffy and nothing else.
…
...
Cordelia sat in the armchair, watching as Darla tossed and turned on the bed, trying to get comfortable. Cordy knew how she felt. Her back ached in sympathy as she remembered the time she'd woken up heavily pregnant. She still remembered going to the hospital and finding out there were like, six or seven demon babies all crammed inside of her. The hospital… huh. Why the hell hadn't they thought of that before?
"You said you went to a bunch of shamans, but did you ever go to a hospital?" she asked.
"Yeah, I just moseyed into the pregnant vampire ward of the local ER," Darla answered sarcastically.
"What exactly are you thinking of, Cordy?" Gunn asked from where he was leaning against the wall, ignoring Darla.
Before Cordelia could respond, the door opened, and Angel came in with a thermos. "We stopped by some contact of Buffy's to get human blood."
"She can drink it on the way," she said, standing up.
Angel frowned in confusion. "On the way to where?"
"The hospital. You want to know what's inside of Darla? Screw all these stupid prophecies and visions. All we have to do is sneak in and use an ultrasound machine."