Before the chapter starts I wanna thank mulzypops for the review!

Music tip:
Charley Ann – Wake Me Up
youtube: watch?v=bzRnYbTF9Kc

For You

Chapter 18:
When in Doubt

[Still flashback]

"Good morning, darling. Slept well?"

"Of course I did, how couldn't I?" Mitch asked with a teasing smile on his face that he just wasn't able to get rid of during the last days, in which Adam had stayed at his house in Canada. A content feeling spread in his stomach, with a happy sigh Mitch snuggled closer to Adam's chest and continued to stroke it absentmindedly, while his head rested on his boyfriend's outstretched arm.

"I always thought you were an early riser. Now it's already 11am and we're still lying in the bed," Adam playfully complained and didn't stop mustering Mitch, who raised an eyebrow. "We didn't sleep that much, if you remember-" he started, but Adam interrupted him laughing out loud.
"Oh don't you worry, I do remember."

Smirking Mitch leaned forward and finally pressed a tender kiss onto Adam's lips, who stopped laughing immediately and closed his eyes to enjoy the sweet morning kiss. As Mitch slowly pulled back, he whispered with a smile on his face: "Good morning. Love you."

"Morning. Love you too."

Torn between finally getting out of bed or staying by Adam's side, Mitch shrugged and chose the latter. In the past weeks they had seen each other far too rarely, due to their living conditions. "I could lie here all day long," he muttered and closed his eyes, while he listened to Adam's strong heartbeat.
"No you couldn't and you know it. You're going crazy if you don't have anything to do. At the latest in an hour you're going to complain for sure, so don't even pretend," Adam mocked him with an amused voice and Mitch sighed, before he answered, "I know. You should come over more often, so I don't have to try though."

"Or you could move in with me in Seattle."

"…what?"
Mitch raised his eyebrows and his head, as he stared at his boyfriend. His heart skipped a beat out of excitement. The possibility had been in his mind quite often during the last weeks, but never had he dared to talk about it. Maybe Adam thought it to be too early, maybe he was keen on keeping a little bit of distance between them…
"I… are you serious?" Mitch asked carefully with barely hidden hope in his voice.

Adam, who seemed to study Mitch's reaction intently, took a deep breath and nodded.
"I am. I mean- just if you want to, I know you have your friends up here as well and there must have been a reason for you to come back to Montreal, so I totally understand it if you-"

"Yes."
Adam stopped his rambling. With wide open eyes he mustered the smiling Canadian.
"I would love to move in with you."

One of them began to laugh out of pure happiness, the other joined in and soon both of them gave in to the thoughts regarding their future together.
"You will finally meet my adorable dogs and we can go to this sushi place I absolutely love-" Adam began with a bright smile on his face and just to tease him, Mitch interrupted the other grinning, "More than me?" – "Of course, it's sushi we're talking about!" – "Understandable."

Another laugh.
Another kiss.

"And then we'll finally tell everyone about it-" Adam continued, oblivious to the change in Mitch's eyes. Suddenly the smile slipped off his face and with a frown he asked, "You don't mean the fans, do you?"

Adam stayed quiet.

"We've already talked about this, Adam, it's better if we don't tell them about this!" he began with an upset voice, but stayed in his position, cuddled up against Adam's side. It was a small argument, nothing more. Probably.
"No we didn't Mitch, you just told me that you don't want them to know – I didn't even have a chance to give you my opinion about this back then. You were scared as hell about it and I kind of understand it, but we didn't sort this really out."

Mitch stayed quiet for a moment and then asked hesitantly, "So you want to tell them?" His eyes were focused on his hand on Adam's chest, which was grabbed by the other's a moment later. "We have to at this point. The fans will find out about you moving to Seattle and then there will be questions. We can't hide this forever, Mitch."

Adam's last sentence sounded like an accusation, as if he dared Mitch to say otherwise. Quickly he tried to convince him of the contrary. "It's not like that and you know it, Adam. But did you never thought about the consequences? Not once?"
Adam frowned and Mitch sighed, as he lifted his upper body to stare at his boyfriend. "There will be those that are unable to deal with homosexuality, then there will be all the disappointed fans, who are jealous, who ship Merome, who ship Skylox-"

"And? I don't care about that Mitch, if they can't accept us then we don't need them."

"Yes we do, Adam, this is our job after all! Without it I wouldn't be able to support myself, the house, my car, food, the flights… You seem to forget that we depend on this job!"

"Oh come on Mitch, it's not like we don't have enough money on our bank accounts. If it really doesn't work out with YouTube, then we'll be able to support ourselves just fine," Adam answered with a skeptical and unhappy tone in his voice that slowly raised Mitch's emotions. He was not going to back down, not this time. The topic was too important for him, too long had Mitch been afraid of the consequences they would have to face inevitably.

"For how long, Adam? Two year? Maybe five, if we're saving? What then?"
He sat up, unable to hold back the anger building up inside of him.

"Then we'll find a solution, Mitch," Adam replied heatedly and raised as well. His eyes were sparkling out of anger, but he tried to keep himself under control. The tense muscles in his shoulders, the frown on his face…
Before Mitch could lose himself in the view, Adam continued. "I want to show them how happy I am with you and I'm neither ashamed, nor afraid of their reactions."

"I'm not ashamed-"

"Oh come on Mitch, of course you are, otherwise you wouldn't be so opposed to the idea! Or are you really telling me that you are that keen on the views?! Is it all that really matters to you? The fucking money?!"

Silence.
Mitch felt himself pale, as he stared with unbelieving eyes at the visibly regretful Adam in front of him. Another second passed, before Mitch heavily breathed out, pressed his lips together and then got out of bed.

"No, Mitch, wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way, you know I was just angry-"
Adam followed him out of the bedroom, but instead of reacting to the pleading words Mitch went into the bathroom, where he tried to close the door in front of Adam. Unsuccessfully. The other was too strong and put his foot and his arm in the crack of the door. "I'm sorry for saying it – I know it's not true and that you work a lot for the fans. We'll find a solution, but without fighting… okay?"

Pleading big brown eyes stared at him and Mitch wasn't able to hold back the feelings for too long. With a heavy sigh he gave up his resistance, stepped away from the door and allowed the tight hug Adam was giving him.
"I don't want to fight," Mitch mumbled and put his arms around Adam as well, while he closed his eyes. "It hurts when you say stuff like that. There are too many saying these things already – I really don't need my own boyfriend to accuse me of it as well."

"It's not happening again – I promise."

"…do you remember what I told you about promises?"

"I do. But I didn't break the promise to never let you go and I'm not going to break this one either. Trust me."

Adam pressed a kiss tenderly onto his temple, then Mitch let go of the anger and his doubts. He wasn't able to put a smile on his face, instead he buried his face in the crook of Adam's neck. "I do."

Half an hour later he went downstairs, while Adam took over the bathroom for himself. Mitch planned on calling Jerome and then preparing the breakfast, so he went over to the couch, where the black phone was still lying. It was refreshing to not have it in the same room for several hours and to not be disturbed by it, but now Mitch felt the urge to at least take a short look at the various social media sites. He sat down onto the sofa and unlocked the screen without a password, as usual.

Suddenly a picture of Adam and himself smiled back at Mitch.
It was Adam's phone he had accidentally grabbed.

They had taken the photo a few days ago, after his boyfriend had arrived at his house for the first time. In the background was a lot of snow and their faces were flushed, but both couldn't look any happier in the embrace of the other. Mitch wasn't able to hold back the big smile and the short fight from before was nearly forgotten.

Never before had he thought to be so committed to a relationship.
Never before had he dealt with this kind of feelings, but Adam…
He was something very special.

Mitch was about to put the phone away, when a new message arrived. A short preview was shown at the top of the screen. The smile disappeared.

Alesa C.: Morning! ;) Hope u slept well, when will u be bac…

Something felt off.
Mitch knew he shouldn't do it, he knew a thousand reasons actually, but the words she chose, the way it was formulated… Something ugly began to stir in his stomach and Mitch took a deep breath to keep himself together.

There had to be a plausible reason for sure.
Mitch knew that Alesa had been there a few weeks before, when she had been in a fight with her parents. But according to Adam they had already resolved their problems and she was back home. There was nothing to worry, she was just a friend Adam knew from his time before YouTube happened, a nice and smart girl taking care of Adam… when Mitch couldn't.

A single touch, then the message was opened.

Alesa C.: Morning! ;) Hope u slept well, when will u be back? Can't find Milton's food, where did u put it? Miss u, Alesa

When Adam finally arrived downstairs, Mitch had his arms crossed in front of his chest and stared out of the large window into the rain. Big clouds in the sky held back the sunshine and an eerie darkness crept over the silent backyard.
In the reflection of the glass Mitch could see the smile on Adam's face, as he appeared behind the Canadian and pulled him into his arms. Immediately Mitch tensed and his muscles clenched painfully. His mind was still occupied with the message and her. Was he thinking too much? Should he be worried? Or was it stupid to be? Maybe she was just there to check on his dogs. Something a simple friend would do, right?

Of course Adam noticed Mitch's unusual behavior in the blink of an eye and pressed a soft kiss in his neck, while the smile gave way for a worried expression in his eyes. "What's up, babe? Are you still angry about our fight?" he asked carefully, but didn't back away from Mitch.

What to do, what to do?
Shall I ask him directly? But he will think that I have mistrust him… Nonetheless he knows something is up, I can't back down now, it will be even more suspicious as it is already.
Mitch took his time, before he answered with a question on his own. It tore at his heart that Adam was patiently waiting for him to be ready, but the worries didn't disappear just like that. He needed some kind of an answer, a reaction of his boyfriend that would clear his mind.

"Adam… is Alesa still living in your house?"

It only took Adam a moment to process the question and formulate an answer, but in the seconds before he hesitated. Mitch nearly didn't notice it, but the dark clouds outside made Adam's reflection in the window more visible and the short frown on his face, the confusion that could easily be mistaken for something else…

"No, I told you last week that she made up with her parents, remember?"

The tension in Mitch's clenched muscles didn't vanish, both felt it, but neither one commented on it. With a barely audible voice Mitch finally replied with an unfocused look in his dull hazel eyes, "You're right, I must have forgotten."
A too happy laugh for the situation reached his ears, as Adam let go of him, Mitch flinched and the other turned around to go to the kitchen. Cold air reached the places of Mitch's body, where Adam's had warmed him just seconds ago and he unsuccessfully tried to suppress a shudder, while he wrapped his arms closer around his own body.

"I'm gonna start with the breakfast," Adam said before entering the kitchen and turned around once more. Slowly Mitch turned his head towards his waiting boyfriend, finally returning his look and then nodding approvingly with the ghost of a smile on his pale lips.

Adam opened his mouth, worried words already on his lips fitting to the frown on his face, because he knew, he always knew when Mitch wasn't feeling fine, when something was bothering him…
Adam closed his mouth again.
He didn't say a word.
The expression on his face changed.

Secluded, hiding, anxious…

Then it was gone, the smile was back and without saying a word Adam disappeared behind the door to the kitchen. No word about Mitch's odd behavior. No word to comfort him. No word to ease the worries in his mind.
The weird feeling in Mitch's stomach intensified and he took several deep breaths to calm himself down a little bit. He probably was just pessimistic about the whole situation. There was nothing going on between Adam and Alesa, there was no evidence.

Just a confusing message.
Just Adam's weird reaction.

"It's nothing," Mitch whispered with a broken voice to himself and continued to stare out of the large window into the pouring rain. The fear of possibly losing Adam didn't die down one bit. Nonetheless he continued with a single sigh.

"It's nothing. You're overreacting."
Nothing.

AN: Sorry, accidently uploaded the next chapter already, hopefully none of you read it yet, otherwise it probably was a bit confusing. :P