36
Sam does not like the expression in Jack's eyes during the mission debriefing. He appears troubled and grim; his posture is abnormal also, stiff and tense. Although his gaze is on Jacob most of the time, she can tell that his attention is not, and he does not look at her once. She understands this last, but she is not nearly so successful at keeping her eyes away from him.
Jack has almost nothing to say during the meeting. Of course, her father doesn't let anyone get many comments in, but that does not usually stop Jack from saying something, however irrelevant. So she is worried, and anxious to talk to him by the time they are dismissed. She is trying to figure out how they can manage some privacy, when Jacob takes her arm and ushers her out of the conference room. When she last glimpses Jack, he is still at the table and Daniel his speaking to him.
Jacob is wound up about the failure of their mission, and the consequences of Apophis' coup over Heru'ur, and continues to discuss the details as they head up to her lab. She hardly hears him—something about the Tok'ra operative on Apophis' ship being in even more danger now—her thoughts are on Jack. Jacob has been so distracted by the disaster, that he fails to comment on Sam's absence from the SGC when he arrived there. The fact that she and Jack came to the Mountain together seems to have escaped his attention. Small blessings, she thinks, knowing that it is indeed a minor issue compared to the situation they are now facing out there.
But her mind, all her thoughts and emotions, even her body, are all centered on Jack—and if in some corner of her brain she thinks that this is a mistake, her feelings are so overwhelming that she is unable to connect with that for long. So, except for a few random phrases, her father's near-tirade is just so much white noise in the background of her real focus. In addition, he is actually so wrapped up in what he is saying that her lack of participation does not register.
It is some time before Jacob takes his leave, telling her he is going to speak to George Hammond, and then will be departing through the gate. "I'll make sure the SGC gets any intelligence that I do," he assures her as he hugs her good-bye. "And I'll notify you before I make the next move."
Later she will recall merely tossing him a rather careless "That's good, Dad" before he goes.
When she checks out of the Mountain she discovers that Jack has been gone for nearly two hours. His sign-out is just above hers. As she calls for a cab the guard comments on the fact that Colonel O'Neill also left by taxi.
Sam goes home, and showers and finds something to eat. It is late, but she is wide awake, her mind preoccupied with wanting to see Jack. She tries to work at her home computer, but gives it up shortly, and paces. Finally she puts on her jacket, takes her keys, and goes out to the garage, where her motorcycle is parked.
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37
It is nearly eleven p.m. when Sam slips quietly into Jack's house, surprised that the door is not locked. It is dim inside, only a light on in the hallway and a small one in the kitchen. Jack is asleep on the couch.
She sits down on the floor beside the couch and watches him for a bit. He is tense, even in repose, his brows drawn together and a frown pulling his mouth into a thin line. A bad dream? She wonders what is going through his mind as he sleeps. Reaching out, she touches his face lightly above his eyebrow—the brow twitches and a low sound comes from his throat... not quite a groan, "Mm...mm?" She strokes his forehead gently, soothing her fingers over the lines there. He must be deeply asleep because he does not react again. In the field he would be instantly on the alert.
Removing her shoes quietly and slipping out of her clothes, she carefully eases her way onto the cushions, lying beside him, fitting her body to the shape of his. He responds to her warmth, wrapping his arms around her and snuggling his face into her shoulder.
"Jack," she whispers.
"Hmmm..." he murmurs. A sleep sound; he is not awake.
Sam curls in closer against his body heat, and slips her arm around him, her hand sliding under his shirt and stroking the smooth warm skin of his back. Her head is on his shoulder, face turning in toward him, and she kisses him under his jaw, tongue flicking out to taste the faintest trace of salt on his skin. He groans and she feels him begin to harden against her belly. The response from her core is immediate, and her breath quickens as desire coils hot and urgent inside her.
For nearly three days she has been unable to touch him, or even to look at him with any but the briefest, most impersonal glance, and suddenly she is crazy wild with wanting him. Good that he did not seek her out before leaving the SGC—she would surely have thrown herself heedlessly into his arms.
Her skin is tingling and hot where his hands are touching, and she rubs her face and her breasts and her body against him. When her stroking hands encounter his growing erection, the surge of arousal takes her breath away and she groans deeply. There is little of rational thought left in her mind as her hips begin to move rhythmically against his. She slides her leg over his thigh and across his hip, hooking her heel behind his leg for leverage. Positioned now so that his erection is pressing against the perfect spot, she begins to rock mindlessly, panting.
"Sam..." he groans, coming awake at last and burying his face in her soft hair, his hands finding their way to her breast and between her thighs.
"Oh god Jack... Oh—I can't stop...I'm..."
His fingers stroke into her wet heat. "Go ahead, Sam," he whispers. "Go..." And feels her convulsing against his hand in long waves of release. He is throbbing with the need to be with her, to be inside her; his fingers move gently across super-sensitive nerve endings, and her climax explodes into renewed life.
She is almost sobbing now and he takes her mouth with his, swallowing the sounds and thrusting his tongue against hers, greedily taking in as much of her passion as he can claim. As she begins to come down from the high, he is fumbling at his pants, freeing himself, reaching for her, trying to be careful but so completely aroused by now that he is half-alarmed by his own intensity. But she is open to him, meeting him on his own terms, urging him on, guiding him... He plunges in, distantly hearing her crying his name, barely knowing that he is calling to her in return. The pleasure is mind-blowing, and he is lost in it for a small eternity, drowning, and soaring beyond any dream of flight, and dying and being reborn again in her arms.
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38
A few hours later.
"Jack..."
No response.
"Jack!"
"Mm..."
"Jack, wake up."
"Mmm..."
"We can't sleep here. We should go to bed."
"Not moving..."
A soft laugh. "Remember the last time we slept on a couch."
"Mmm...backache..."
"Yes."
Nuzzling into her neck. Soft. "Yum."
"Jack..."
Sweet flesh behind her ear. Nibbling.
"Oh... Jack..."
"What's this..." A nipple? More sweetness...
"Uh. Uhm..." Catch of breath.
Here's another one... "Will wonders never cease..."
"J..Jack..." Losing focus here.
"Let's just see... what's down here..." The sweetest of all.
"Oh. Oh yes. Yes...there. Just... there..."
"And, look...this fits...here."
"Oooh... nnhhh!"
"Oh god! Sam..."
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39
"What are we going to do now?" she asks after quite a bit more time has passed.
He opens one eye and peers at her. "Well, I was going to get more sleep—but if you have something else in mind..."
"Oh, stop. I mean it, Jack! Cut it out!" She squirms a little against him.
"Not the way to get me to stop..." he warns breathlessly. "Naked is bad enough... naked and wiggling—forget it."
"Huh. You mean wiggling like this..."
"Oh, good god, Sam..."
There are several minutes of muffled giggles and groans before they relax and curl into each others' arms. Jack lazily strokes his hand down her back and side.
"Do you have any idea how good you feel, woman?" he asks.
"I know how good you make me feel. Better than anything I've ever felt before." She nuzzles his neck, kisses his collarbone. "I missed you these past few days."
"We were never more than a few yards apart," he points out.
"Yeh. It might as well have been lightyears." She turns so she can look at his face. "What are we going to do, Jack?"
"Ah. That's what you meant. Thought you had other activities in mind."
"Okay," she sighs. "I see that the sarcastic, deflecting, non-communicating Jack O'Neill is back. Let me know when he gets tired of being as ass." She closes here eyes.
"Ouch. That's harsh, Carter." He rolls up on his elbow and looks down into her face. When she does not react, he leans down and kisses her cheek, then her nose, and her temple. "Sorry," he says at last. "I promised myself I wouldn't do that with you anymore."
"Promised yourself? But not me."
"Easier to break a promise that you haven't told anyone about," he admitted. "The truth is, I don't know the answer to your question. And before you get upset, yes, I want us to work this out—hell, I need for us to work this out. Because I can't live without you anymore. And, I agree, it might as well have been lightyears." Those gorgeous blue eyes of hers are open now, staring up at him, and he sees to his horror that they are filling with tears. "Aw—come on, Sam. Please. Don't do that to me. You know I hate it when you cry. 'Cause it just may get me started. Is that what you want—to see your tough old colonel cry?"
She lets go with something between a giggle and a snort, and reaches up to stroke his cheek. "I love you, Jack. I love all the Jacks; the sarcastic one, the one who thinks he's funny, the one that will jump in front of a bomb to protect me, the one who cooks sooo much better than I do..."
"The one who thinks he's funny? I'm crushed." He grins and pulls her into his arms as he rolls onto his back. He's glad she insisted they move to the bed, it's much more roomy and comfortable. "I love you, too," he says. "Every inch of you. Every hair on your gorgeous head. Even your toes!" He laughs softly and kisses her hair. "And tomorrow we will talk about what we can do. But right now, we both need sleep. It's 0500, and we're supposed to report back to the base at noon."
"Okay, I'll let you get away with that for now. You're gonna need a lot more practice at stopping that avoidance behavior, though."
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40
It is the doorbell that wakes them. Jack glances at the clock. 10:18. "We slept late," he says, swinging his legs out of the bed.
"What?" Sam mutters. "Who's at the door?"
Jack looks out the window. "It's Daniel. Stay here. I'll get rid of him. Get a little more sleep." He yanks on his pants and heads out the door.
"Mmm..kay.." she murmurs, closing her eyes.
It's not just Daniel at the door; Janet is with him.
"Doc!" Jack exclaims. "What are you guys doing here?"
"We've been trying to call you, Jack," Daniel says.
"Uh... I musta turned off my phone..." Jack is forced to stand aside as they step past him. "Yeah. Come on in." His eyes narrow as he takes in their serious expressions. "What's going on? What are you doing here?"
"Actually, we're looking for Sam," Janet says. "Her phone's off, too. And she's not at home."
"Uhh..." Jack begins.
"The Indian's in your driveway, Jack," Daniel points out.
"Oh, yeah." He'd forgotten to even ask how she got here. "What's happened?"
"It's Jacob," Janet says quietly. "Where is Sam?"
Jack can tell by her tone that this cannot be good. "She's here. Is he...?" He knows the answer by the look in their eyes. "How?"
"We got a communication from the Tok'ra about an hour ago," Daniel explains. "Jacob went to try to extract their operative on Apophis' ship. They were caught." Daniel swallows hard. "Rather than let themselves be tortured and give away Tok'ra secrets, they committed suicide. They have a way of doing it that insures they can't be resurrected in a sarcophagus."
"God," Jack says softly. He is silent, absorbing what Daniel has said. "How do they know what happened?"
"Tok'ra operatives have a life monitor implanted in their bodies," Janet says. "It transmits a constant signal that can be picked up by special receivers. If they're captured, they have standing orders to kill themselves. The operative's signal went out three hours ago. That only happens if he's dead."
"Did Jacob have one of those implants?"
"No. But they haven't heard from him," Daniel says.
"When was his last communication?"
"Just before he cloaked his ship for a close approach to Apophis' mothership. The plan was to coordinate with the operative, and ring him aboard. If Jacob had failed, and escaped, he'd have gotten back in touch."
"So the Tok'ra are assuming Jacob was caught," Jack says. "But they don't know for certain."
Daniel and Janet exchange a look. "This is their standard procedure," Daniel insists. "If they get caught, they...kill themselves. All Tok'ra get the same training."
"Come on, Daniel, we're talking about Jacob here. He's a bit more of an independent thinker than that!"
"But Selmak..."
"Selmak's not your typical Tok'ra, either," Jack cuts in. "Especially after two years with Jacob. Suicide is not going to be the first choice for either of them." He looks at Daniel and Janet, daring them to dispute him.
After a minute, Daniel shrugs. "Maybe you're right. I hope so."
"I'm right." Jack's voice is confident. "I'll wake Sam and tell her what's happened. We'll see you at the Mountain within the next hour or so." He steps over and opens the door. "Thanks, Doc. Daniel."
When he returns to the bedroom, he finds Sam curled up on his pillow and sleeping soundly. He slides into the bed behind her and wraps his arms around her, pulling her close. For a few minutes he simply lies there holding her, thinking about what he is going to say. Finally he shakes her shoulder gently, and speaks into her hair.
"Sam. Wake up, Sam."
"Hmm... What?"
"Come on, Babe. Wake up. I need to talk to you."
She draws a deep breath, and turns toward him as far as proximity will allow. "Mmm... Hi. What did Daniel want?"
"That's what I need to talk to you about."
"Okay." She yawns, and then twists around until she is facing him. Bleary-eyed, she nuzzles her head into his shoulder and kisses his neck and chin, and reaches to pull his mouth down to hers. His kiss is sweet, comforting, warm, but not passionate, and she opens her eyes to find his eyes on her, and they are full of concern. "Jack?" She pulls back to see his face, draws in an apprehensive breath. "What's wrong?"
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