With everything that's going on, I would have nearly forgotten I had turned twenty two a couple weeks ago if I had'nt put a reminder on my phone's calender. I can't help but wonder where exactly I had pictured myself at twenty two three years ago. In college? Having a good life? Right know that all seems like some taunting joke, maybe even something that can only be a dream for me.

Ever since we went to the hospital me and Jay have'nt heard from Tim. It's been nerve wracking to say the least. Hell, I've tried calling him but na-da. What could have happened? Was Tim okay? Was he still in town even? Those were the only questions I could think about, the kind that made me feel like a pit was in my stomach.

So, when I got a message from Tim today to meet him in the park tonight I was'nt really thinking things a hundred percent through. I was'nt thinking of why he had called Jay to meet him somewhere else at a earlier time then me, I was'nt thinking of why it had to be nighttime...I was just being a sort of idiot.

So, here I was. At the park at the usual bench. The only light came from some street lights. To be honest I did'nt want to be out here on my own while it was dark, but after not hearing from Tim in some time I was willing to force myself to come out here. I just took even breaths to keep myself calm. Whatever it was that Tim had to talk about with Jay, I hope he was finishing up now because I don't know how much longer I can put up with waiting here in the dark. Metaphorically and literally.

"It'll be okay, he'll be here soon", I kept telling myself, only to be startled when I heard my phone ring. I sighed a little in relief before I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Rebecca, it's Jay". Something was wrong, I could tell.

"Jay, did something happen?", I asked, trying to prepair myself for the worst. I heard Jay breath out before he answered,

"Tim knows. He knows everything".

"Shit, shit, shit", I mumbled under my breath before asking, "wh-what exactly happened?"

"Well", Jay began. "When he arrived he just punched me out of nowhere, twice. Then he started yelling at me and saying it was my fault that Jessica was missing and that you were dragged into this before saying he never wanted to see me again". I frowned as Jay talked. He was clearly upset, and I could have sworn I heard him cry a little.

"Jay", I murmured. "It's not your fault. Everything with Jessica was my fault if anything and I decided I wanted to know what happened to Alex. None of this is your fault, and don't even start thinking that". Jay was quiet, and I nearly thought that Jay had hung up untill he said,

"Your at the park, right? Look, I'm guessing Tim is on his way there and he is probably just as pissed at you as he is me so just, leave and get back to the hotel before he comes". I was silent for a moment, but then I said,

"No".

"Rebecca-"

"No Jay", I cut off. "If I'm not here when he gets here things will only be worse. At least I can try...something, I don't know".

"...I'll park the car and I'll stay nearby, incase things get really ugly".

"Thanks Jay. Y'know, you've been like a brother to me in the past three years, deffinetly a better one then Alex, that's for sure".

"Thanks Rebecca. That means a lot". I almost felt Jay smile through the phone, and I almost smiled untill I could hear faint footsteps. I closed my eyes and murmured,

"He's here now. See you when the yelling's over". I put my phone in my pocket after ending the call and put my hands to my face, eyes still closed as I tried to think of what to say. I had had to play a good card first if this was going to go well.

"...So, he already told you?" I could hear the scowling in Tim's voice.

"...Yeah", I said. I sighed as I stood up and said, "look Tim I-"

"What, your sorry? You regret this? Huh?!", Tim spat. "So was all this, all the times we were together just you trying to get something for Jay's damn investigation?!"

"Wh-NO!" This was deffinetly not going down a good route. "All of those time I was with you was because I liked you, always I swear!"

"Always, huh", Tim grunted, pacing a little. "Well, damn great way to show it, not even being honest with me".

"Jay did'nt think you would help us if we told you the truth, but we were going to!", I said. I could feel my hands shake a little, possibly from the fear of what could happen.

"Well why would I? I just want to forget about everything. Every. Damn. Thing. But you and Jay are'nt making it easy exactly!"

"So you think I want you miserable?", I shot back. "No, I just want to know what the hell's happened to my brother!"

"Even when he tried to kill me!"

"I saved you!", I yelled. "I kept him away from you enough so only your leg got hurt, and I helped you as much as I could with the short time I had back at that house!"

"Yes, because only getting a broken leg is an accomplisment", Tim sarcastically said.

"HEY, your not an angel yourself bud! You've strangled me, you've attacked me and Jay and even when I apologised for stabbing you, you fucking stab me! But oh, that's not all. You also make me taste your blood and then you tasted-"

"SHUT UP!", Tim yelled. "You don't know anything! You got yourself in this mess and if you had just said no to Jay, then you would'nt be!"

"Well soorrry for caring about my own brother! For wanting know what the hell happend to him!", I said.

"Sure, because you've done great things to try and save Alex. Like, just going along with Jay in breaking into Alex's apartment. Twice. Or just doing nothing when he was, right, there!"

"Yes, because Alex was deffinetly giving me every opportuinity. Oh wait that's right, I don't fucking remember a whole seven months, because your not the only one who's missing memory!", I shouted. There was silence between us after that, the both of us just glaring at eachother.

"You think, that you are the only one that was hurt by that thing? That bastard thing kidnaped me when I was ten. For a week! God knows what happened during that time, but you know what I'm certain of? That thing killed Michael! Possibly because he looked similar to Alex! Do YOU know how much it hurts, knowing someone is dead because of you!? Hell, if Jessica is dead then it's my fault as well! I'm the one who has to live with that!", I yelled.

"NO! That is Alex's fault, and Jay's!", Tim snapped.

"Oh, so now your saying I'm innocent? Make up your fucking mind?!", I shrieked. "Do you hate me or what?!"

"...I don't hate you", Tim muttered. "I want to but...it's a mixed bag. I still care for you though". I snorted.

"Why do you care?", I muttered.

"I-"

"According to you, me and Jay are nothing but bad luck".

"Will you just-"

"Hell, you'd probably be more then happy if we never came here so you can-"

"Will you fucking listen to me!", Tim yelled moving towards me, making me take some steps back. He grabbed my arms and pressed his lips onto mine roughly. What the hell!? What's with this guy?! The kiss only lasted a few seconds untill Tim pulled away abruptly.

"You want to know why? You want to know why? Well here's a damn reason, I cared for you. A lot. Hell, I think I even love you".

Those words stunned me. He...loved me? He looked into my eyes. What was he looking for? Whatever it was I think he found it since he seemed to have a brief glint of hope in his eyes if I'm not mistaken.

"You...you love me...?"

"Yeah", Tim grumbled, looking away.

"...I think I love you too", I murmured. The grips on my arms felt loosened so I took a risk to slowly place a hand on his cheek.

"Tim...I know you want to pretend that this is all a bad dream. So do I, every time something terrible happens. But...I've come to accept that even if this was a dream, it's one I'm not going to wake up from". Tim placed a hand over my hand on his cheek.

"...Stay here", he said.

"What?"

"Stay here, with me. Forget about Jay, Alex, that stupid movie. Everything. I'll keep you safe. I promise".

I felt tears start to come into my eyes. As much as I hated to say it, I already knew my answer.

"Tim...I'm sorry but I can't".

"Why not?!", he snapped. "Do you actually want all of this bullcrap?!"

"No! It's just...I know I can't run, or hide from that thing. Alex did and look what good that did him. Besides, I'm all Jay has left. If I abandon him here, he'll have no one. He needs support. I can't just leave him on his own".

Tim was silent and clenched his jaw before stepping away from me.

"Well then...I guess this is it".

"Wha...?" The tears were really starting to threaten to come out now.

"I don't want to have anything to do with this investigation. When you finally come to your senses, you know where I live", Tim mumbled before he turned around and walked away. I could'nt do anything but stand there, frozen in shock of what had just happened.

"Bi-big girls don't cry", I mumbled to myself as Tim became nothing but a speck. I wanted to keep myself together. I know the world's not going to end because of this, but...why did it hurt so much?

"Big girl-girls don-don't cry", I tried to tell myself, but tears began to come out as my lower lip trembled and my knees began to give way till I finally dropped down against the bench and pulled my knees to my chest. I soon gave into my tears. It was childish I know, but...I don't know what else to say.

"Rebecca...", I heard a voice softly say. I sharply looked in the direction opposite where Tim had been and saw Jay. He was frowning and he also looked...guilty?

"H-hey Jay", I said, forcing a smile, ignoring the water staining my face. "Wh-what's up? Ti-Tim has'n-has'nt shown up yet". Jay sighed and sat down next to me and put an arm aroun my shouldor.

"Rebecca...just let it all out...", Jay murmured gently.

"I-I-I don't-don't know what you me-mean. B-big girls don't cr-cr..." I could'nt hold it anymore. Screw trying to be mature! I started bawling my eyes out while leaning against Jay, who just held me in a comforting hold.

Date: 06/13/12

Time: 23:06

Me and Tim...I don't want to think about it.

Jay feels guilty about Tim, Jessica...Me.

I feel guilty about Tim, but Jay...I can't leave him on his own, otherwise who else will help him?

We'll be going back to that hospital soon, and all I can say is this:

I've lost nearly everything now, so I've barely anything left to loose.

...I don't think I even care if I die anymore...

...I just don't want pain...

But, what can match with the pain I feel in my heart?

Rebecca Kralie.

*Sighs* I'm not going to lie, this was difficult to write. I'm sure you can see why. But, it had to be done.

Also, I've done a picture for this chapter. Just look up vixin2 on Deviantart and look for the picture, 'Big Girls don't Cry'.