69
He feels less stress now. There is still some pain, but it is tolerable, and he does not resist the energy force which has taken over his body. He tries to open his eyes, but finds it is impossible; nor can he move at all. And he is tired, so tired. "Sleep," a voice tells him, a woman's voice, one he does not recognize. "Sleep. It will aid the renewal." It is easy to follow the suggestion; he allows himself to relax and drift away.
70
In the corridor outside Jack's door they wait. Daniel and Jacob are seated in the two chairs. Daniel has his head back against the wall and is dozing. Teal'c is sitting cross-legged on the floor, cradling a sleeping Sam in his arms. He picked her up an hour ago, when she nearly fell out of the chair from exhaustion, and settled down to make her as comfortable as possible. Jacob alternately watches his daughter, and turns his gaze toward the closed door. Thanks to Selmak's superior stamina, he is not tired; the two of them, host and symbiote, are engaged in one of the ongoing inner debates that occupies much of their time. Janet comes and goes, staying for a little while, and then leaving to attend to other duties.
It has been over two hours since they left Sina alone with Jack.
Earlier Sam was moving restlessly, but now she is deeply, motionlessly asleep and Teal'c shifts his position slightly without disturbing her. Daniel rouses and glances over at them, nodding when he sees she is still resting.
71
He is standing in the meadow where they slept and made love, looking around in puzzlement. After a moment, he realizes Sam is at his side.
"Why are we here?" Jack asks. "Sam? What's going on?"
"I... I'm not sure," she says, glancing up at the great blue star with its giant wave of color. She turns and looks at him. "Sina. She's trying to heal you."
"What happened to me? I don't remember... We were trying to get through the gate..."
"You were hit by a staff blast just before you went through," she tells him, her voice unsteady. "It shattered your vest shielding and drove shrapnel into your back. You...you were injured very badly. The worst is the trauma to your spinal cord. Janet can't find anything that will reduce the swelling. You're on life support now... We finally got back in touch with the Tok'ra, and Selmak demanded that they help..."
"The Tok'ra?" he interrupts, a look of alarm on his face. "Sam! You didn't let them put a snake in my head, did you?"
"No," she assures him quickly. "Sina's using a healing device. Janet's done everything she could..." She pauses, trying to work it out. "If you're dreaming this, then maybe it's working... unless..."
"Unless..." he prompts.
"Unless this is just my dream..." She shakes her head. "God. I don't understand."
He reaches over and takes her hand, they thread their fingers together, and stare at each other.
"It feels like both of us are here," he says. "The way it did on the planet."
"But what's causing this to happen?"
"Maybe we're here because I'm dying, and this is our chance to say good-bye," he suggests gently.
"No! No, Jack! You are not going to die!" She grips his hand tighter, and draws a deep breath, starts talking in an effort to calm herself down. "Maybe it's because we can't communicate directly right now, since you're unconscious—and it's the planet—the effects were left over in us somehow. The radiation—it must have altered our brain chemistry—maybe permanently. And the mind stamp. The radiation reactivated the stamp—I'm sure of that, now...and who knows how long it will last. Or it might have something to do with the healing device. Selmak said similar technology was used to create the Goa'uld torture facility, so maybe using the healing device has some sort of side effect on your mind..."
He starts to laugh softly at her, putting a finger across her mouth, shushing her. "Or maybe we're just connected." He pulls her close and wraps his arms around her, lowering his head to bury his face in her hair; she puts her arms around his waist, her cheek over his heart, and they stand there quietly, locked in the embrace. "Sometimes it's not about doohickeys, Sam," he whispers. "Sometimes it's love."
72
There's no way to tell how long they have been here... Dream time is nothing like real time. Years might pass in an eyeblink. An instant can expand into an eon...
"Listen, Sam," Jack says after a while. He has been thinking. "We need to talk."
"You want to talk now?" she tries to joke.
He loosens his arms a bit around her, and urges them both down onto the grass. When they are sitting facing each other, he takes her face between his hands and kisses her softly. He can feel the fear in her, and the love flowing between them. After a time he draws away and simply studies her face.
"I don't know how long we have here," he says quietly. "And I have a couple of things to say." When she frowns and moves uncomfortably, he takes her hands and holds them. "I love you, Sam...so very much! I didn't know I could feel as much love as I do for you." He draws her hands up and kisses them, holding them there for a long moment, then pressing their clasped hands to his heart. "I loved you for a long time without any hope that we would ever be together. And then I was given a gift—those days with you. Whatever made it happen... I really don't care. I'm just grateful it did. Those—what?—seven days with you, they made most of the rest of my life worthwhile. And if that's all I get..."
"Jack!"
"Shhh... No, listen." He reaches out and strokes her cheek, and she turns her head to kiss his palm, hides her face there. "Look at me, Sam," he says as he feels wetness in his hand. He cups her face with both hands. There are tears in his own eyes. "If this is all we get, then we should spend it seeing everything we can about each other. I want you to look in my eyes and understand how much you mean to me."
"Jack..." she begs again—ohgod, ohgod, he really thinks this is happening because he's dying, that this is the end for us!—but she forces herself to look at his beautiful face. There is nothing more beautiful in the world to her than his face. She can't lose him now—not when she's just found him! They haven't had enough time together...
"There's never enough time, Sam," he whispers, reading her mind. She is crying freely by this time. And there's really more he wants to say, but she's not going to listen right now, he's sure. He wants to explain that death does not hold any fear for him. He's seen too much pain in life to really fear dying. His biggest regret will be leaving her in pain—because he knows how devastating that is. "Don't think of the time," he says. "Think of the love. That's what matters." He believes this with all his heart. It took a long time to learn, but believing it is what finally made it possible for him to accept his son's loss. And now he wants her to believe it, because loss is all around us—it is part of life.
"You are not going to die," Sam says fiercely, through her tears. "You're going to stay with me! We're going to be together—get married!" She takes hold of his hands and grips them tightly. "I love you! And we will be together!"
A slow smile spreads across Jack's face at her stubbornness. She never gives up, and he loves that about her! He starts to say something. But then suddenly he stiffens, the smile vanishes and a look of puzzlement crosses his features.
"Jack?"
"Something's... changed," he grates, his voice is full of pain now; his eyes are squeezed shut against it. His hands clench on hers until it hurts...
"Jack!" She holds on tighter to his hands, not knowing what else to do—
He forces his eyes open to look at her one more time
—then suddenly she is holding on to nothing!
"Jack! No! I love you!" His hands are gone, and his body is fading away in front of her eyes!
"Jack!" she screams.
73
"Jack!" Sam screams, bolting up out of Teal'c's arms, galvanizing them all into shocked alert.
An instant later the air is filled with the wail of medical alarms from behind Jack's door.
xXx
This was probably the shortest time I've ever managed between updates! So sorry it doesn't clear up the Big Question yet. This little scene hopped onto my keyboard and refused to leave until I wrote it down... excuse me, gotta go find a kleenex...