Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
Wow! Great and nearly unanimous push for immediate gratification by slash, hum hum...interesting! Dear reviewers, you have convinced me! Long and filled chapter coming up! Do try to comment on all of it and not just the last part, oki? :P
Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited and followed this story! Keep it up! I want to know what you think of it! :)
autumngold: I'm afraid I won't show LV's POV of the duel. He might think back on it in later chapters, though. I do not think that I've made Harry a fool in this chapter. He's just a bit disillusioned and pessimistic :P
FanFictionLover: The time has come! Are you ready? Do you think you can handle it? I can't wait to see the amount of squealing I'll read in your review :P
Boblove321: Thank you for your kind and enthusiastic review :)
Warning: mild slash. I haven't marked it, but I don't think it's explicit enough to shock anybody reading it. I might be a bit desensitized because of all the slash I've read here, though :P
Chapter 20: 31st of July, Part Two: Birthday boy
When I woke up that day, I knew that it wouldn't be a nice day. It my first birthday without Sirius. Usually, my godfather would make me up by transforming into a dog and licking my face disgustingly until I woke up.
On the morning of my 17th birthday, I was alone in a large, empty bed. The sun was shining outside and the window at my right was opened to let the summer breeze roll in. By anyone's standards, it was a beautiful day. I would have preferred if there had been a real tempest outside, at least it would have reflected my mood.
I hadn't told anybody here that it was my birthday. Why would I? It's not as if any of the Malfoys genuinely cared about me anyway. There were just trying to repay me for saving Draco's life. And I hadn't seen the Dark Lord in a few days...Okay, I hadn't seen the Dark Lord since our weird conversation exactly a week ago. After talking to him twice in such a short time, I had thought that Voldemort's next visit would be sooner. But when a week had passed without seeing even a hint of the man, I begun to wonder if I had said something that would make him angry at me. I had been quite disrespectful, after all. I couldn't help myself around him. I was either docile and awed, or furious and rude to compensate (or overcompensate) for my pathetic previous attitude.
In my past few days of reflection, I had concluded that my peculiar reactions to him would always be there. I just had to differentiate between recognising that I was attracted to him and acting like a fool. I just had to be mature about it.
I rolled around in the bed, burying my face in the fluffiest pillow I've ever had. I didn't want to get up. I knew that I would be jittery all day long. In the past few days, I had tried to burn as much energy and magic as I could, but really, not being able to train my magic in a combat situation for so long was putting me on edge. A twist of stress churning in my belly made me abruptly get off my bed, dress up in training clothes and head downstairs.
o0o0o
I had barely begun warming up when Draco entered the room that I had used for training in the past week. It surprised me because usually Draco only got up much later.
I glanced at him. He was scrutinising me again. He had done so for the past few days and that didn't help my already frazzled nerves. I missed the easy companionship of our first days.
"What?" I snapped.
"Do you really think you will be able to beat the Dark Lord if you don't practice your duelling anymore?" I lifted a brow at him.
"With whom could I practice? You'd all report back to him directly the second you'd see me fight.
-I wouldn't," said Draco, his head bowed down slightly, looking at the ground.
"Why not?" I asked, surprised.
"Because I want to practice too. I mean, my father has trained me a lot before, but I could use more practice. I could help you.
-Why help me when it would directly go against the Dark Lord? Don't you want him to win?
-Of course I want him to win your duel; he's my Lord, after all...But I really don't think that a few training sessions with me could influence the outcome of the fight."
I looked at him, considering. On one hand, Draco would probably go straight to the Dark Lord and show him a detailed memory of our fights and that would make me lose some of my element of surprise.
On the other hand, I was feeling restless and I did need to train my magic.
Overall, I thought that the compromise was worth it. I'd just have to keep a couple of tricks up my sleeve for the final duel.
When I agreed to Draco's offer, I was also curious to see the other boy's skill level. He had gone to Hogwarts, after all, and was probably just as capable as I would have been had I gone there...
.
I concluded after the first few spells that I was quite happy I didn't go to Hogwarts in the end. Draco's technique was as arrogant, conservative and unfocused as the teen himself. Not a good combination. After a couple of frustrating minutes of basic spells and elementary tactics, I quickly grew bored. I started to analyse Draco's moves to try to make him react in certain ways.
At one point, I decided that I would make Draco slip on a banana peel. I knew the Muggle joke from one of the rare movies I had seen with Sirius, and my godfather had found it so funny at the time that he had tried with all his Marauder might to make me slip on one as soon as possible. After days of nearly tripping on banana peels littering the floors of our house and everywhere I went, I had decided to purposely make myself slip once to make him leave me alone. I have never heard Sirius laugh so hard of my entire life. I nearly feared for his life at one point.
At the time, I hadn't really got what was so funny about the joke, but duelling with Draco now, and seeing him grow more and more flustered, made me think it was the best time to try it. It was probably my last birthday, after all, so I was entitled to do every test I wanted. I knew I didn't have much chance to surviving my Duel with the Dark Lord, realistically...
Draco's face when the refined, normally poised pureblood slipped on the ground was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen in my life. His widened eyes and gaping mouth as he slowly tilted sideways and fell on his side, glancing around frantically without understanding what had just happened was already wonderfully funny, but the look on his face when he saw the banana peel was what made me explode in laughter.
Draco had then hastily picked himself up and vanished the squashed peel with an angry wave of his wand. And he attacked me with a renewed determination and fury. Ah, that's more like it...
I was just about to conclude the duel when I felt Lucius enter the room. Hmm, this could be interesting...I thought. I purposely send a dissimulated cutting hex towards Draco to make Lucius get in the fight.
It turned out that the Minister, while undoubtedly better than his son, was no match, in his current state at least, for how Sirius and Kingsley had been before their deaths. He had interesting moves, however, and I did get to test my ice-skating theory in a combat situation, which I had wanted to do for quite a while now.
If only the Dark Lord had let himself weaken as much since the war, my 'Task' would be quite easy. Just as I thought that, I felt the oppressing aura surround me and saw the now familiar colour of Voldemort's magic permeate the room. I skirted around a few curses while I pondered what to do. I didn't want to fight when the Dark Lord could see me and analyse my every moves.
Lucius's feet were already stuck in the ground. The aristocrat looked a bit panicked beneath his cool mask. I clearly saw when he took the decision to try to finish the duel hastily before his position could disadvantage him too much.
It went with my plan perfectly. I just twisted around a bit and countered a couple of his curses before I took him down with some easy spells I had learnt when I was about twelve. The Dark Lord wouldn't get any more information on my skills from this duel. I did feel a bit bad about humiliating Lucius with the cheap ending, however.
I bowed to him ceremoniously, to let him know that I didn't mean the disrespect and undid the Binding charm and the little Quicksand spell I had placed under his feet. The Minister exhaled silently and got back up on the now firm ground.
I went up to him and presented him, handle first, the wand that I had plucked from the air after my Disarming spell. He took it, bowing back to me slightly to let me know that no harm was done and that he wasn't angry with me.
.
Suddenly, I heard clapping. I turned around. The Dark Lord stood at my right, smirking slightly at me.
"Impressive," he said to me before he turned to his Minister. "Lucius, had I known that your work in the Ministry would weaken you so, I would have thought twice before nominating you. It was a deplorable display. I was expecting more from you."
Lucius bowed his head in shame and I thought I even saw him colour a bit.
"You are right as always, my Lord. I have become perhaps a bit indolent during all those years of paperwork. I saw today that my son and I would both need to take a page out of Mister Potter's book and train more assiduously."
The Dark Lord titled his head to the side, as if pondering something.
"Perhaps I should reconvene my Death Eaters and make them work on their magic. One never knows when they will need the skills. Perhaps a battle against the Rebels is imminent, after all."
Lucius nodded quickly and went to Enervate and free Draco from the spells I put him under.
Voldemort turned to me, a smirk stretching slowly his handsome face.
"Rest assured that you will find me an indisputably more challenging opponent, should we go through with this Duel business."
I frowned at him.
"Don't you mean 'when we duel'?
-Well, we wouldn't have to duel if one of us forfeits beforehand."
I knew that he meant me when he said 'one of us'. It infuriated me.
"I'm the one who challenged you at first! I'm certainly not going to give up and be at your mercy! You'd just ask for my life, or you'd enslave me and torture me, or something! "
The Dark Lord looked at me closely.
"Perhaps not. I never said I wanted to kill you. I would have done so years ago if that was my intention."
I stilled and stood there rigidly. I felt shaken to the core. He had previously hinted that I didn't know what he wanted and that he didn't necessarily want to kill me, but he had nearly confirmed it just now!
"What would you want from me if I forfeited?"
He smirked again, glee flashing in his eyes for a second.
"Ah, dear Harry, perhaps I would ask for you to join my harem? It wouldn't be too harsh a demand, no?"
I felt myself flush suddenly, and then become angry.
"Stop joking around with your stupid harem! I'm worth more than that! I'd commit suicide before I let myself be degraded to being one of your concubines!"
Voldemort's eyes flashed in anger. He walked over to me briskly.
"You are not, under any circumstances, to kill yourself! Do you understand, Potter?"
I felt pain like a sharp stab coming from my forehead. I plastered my hand over my scar.
"By the gods, stop it with your stupid telepathic magic! Ok, ok, I won't kill myself. Happy, now? Merlin...Why wouldn't you want me to die anyway? Wouldn't that settle the problem? You would be rid of your 'prophesied enemy'..."
The Leader of the British Wizarding World exhaled and rubbed his forehead a bit tiredly.
"Do you know how vague this Prophecy is? It doesn't mention a name, it just says 'the Dark Lord' and, as much as I like to believe that I'll be on this planet for a while, I don't think I'll be the last Dark Lord in the history. There are two other Dark Lords in the world in the moment and another one in Brazil is rising to power. Why would the Prophecy be about me or even about Britain? And how should I know what constitutes 'defying me thrice' in the eyes of Magic? Maybe cursing at me when someone reads the newspaper at their kitchen table and sees something they don't like counts as defying me. It also doesn't mention a year for 'your' birth either. Should I kill every child born around the end of July just because they could potentially be another 'Chosen One'?" He paused slightly and shook his head. "The bottom line is that I'll never be short of people wanting me dead and I can't start pre-emptively killing everybody who might attack me. I just have to stay on my guard and be ready to face opposition at any time. That's the best I can do."
It made sense, oddly. I found myself agreeing with the Dark Lord. Anyone in a position of power had people who hated them or wanted them dead. Suddenly, I didn't know how to feel anymore. I was empty, devoid of emotions.
"Now, are you coming?" asked Voldemort.
I probably missed the first part of what he said. My feet followed him automatically as he left the training room.
"Where are we going?
-You're following me and you don't know?
-I zoned out for a bit. You're really confusing, you know...I think you're bipolar."
The Dark Lord barked a laugh.
"Why do you say that?" He asked.
"One minute you're all smirking at me and teasing me, and the next you're angry and attacking me with your weird powers. And then you say you don't even want to kill me! I don't believe you about that, by the way...
-Well, if you want to know, we are heading to Lucius' study because I want to introduce you to your new tutor. I know you should be able to pass some of your OWLs or NEWTs as you are now, but you don't necessarily know the theory or the type of questions they will ask, hence the need for a tutor.
It was a good idea and it would probably make me pass my exams more swiftly. I needed the qualifications for after the duel...which I should survive because the Dark Lord apparently didn't want me dead? Or would he still kill me during the duel but just wanted to insist that he wouldn't have actively hunted me down had I not challenged him? I was confused. The Honour's Duel could only finish in death or forfeit, after all. Why was he trying to make me forfeit instead of just killing me?
-Yeah, ok. I agree with the idea. I just hope you didn't chose one of your Death Eaters to tutor me, though. I don't think I'd get along well with them."
Voldemort lifted an eyebrow at me.
"You seem to go along reasonably well with Lucius, no?
-Yeah, but that's different. He kinda grows on you, don't you think?
-I'm not sure what you mean. He is a good follower, however, I'll concede as much."
I burst out laughing at his admission. It was so...mild.
I suddenly had a bit of a dangerous idea...but it was my birthday, after all, so I was allowed a bit of recklessness. I caught up with the Dark Lord and walked beside him. I grinned at him and he looked at me cautiously.
I elbowed him lightly in the ribs, smirking, and said in a teasing voice:
"Are you sure he's just a follower? With all those years of close collaboration, one would think that you might be...friends?
-Ahhh, Harry, Harry, let me tell you something." He put his left arm around my shoulders and bended his head closer to mine, looking me in the eye. I could feel my body tingling where his arm and side were pressed against me. The fabric of his robes was soft against my right hand and I suddenly felt pleasantly warm. I longed to just turn around and bury myself against his body. The man's magic was swirling all around me, swaddling me in a secure cocoon.
"You can never have enough respect for the people who are terrified of you to consider them as friends. Lucius might not seem so bad now, but the minute I become slightly angry or frustrated, he reverts to being nothing more than a grovelling minion... And besides, I don't need friends. It's a solitary life I've chosen for myself, but I don't think I would be satisfied with anything else.
-Aren't you lonely sometimes, at the top of your Mountain?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"To be perfectly honest with you, I'm more bored than lonely. I never was a very sociable person; I don't need other people's company to feel satisfied. However, you do make my life more entertaining, brat, I'll grant you that much. I don't think I have laughed as much since the times of my Victory, all those years ago." He revealed, with a small smile at the corner of his lips.
I felt a warm wave of satisfaction and delight engulf me. I was touched by his words, despite the little voice in my head that was still screaming at me that Voldemort was my enemy. I looked at this powerful man who had a smile on his face and faint creases at the corner of his eyes and I didn't feel one ounce of animosity in me directed toward him at the moment. I smiled back at him tentatively. He squeezed my shoulders once, before dropping his arm off me altogether. I looked around, noticing that we had arrived in front of Lucius' study at some point during out talk.
The Dark Lord cleared his throat, capturing my attention again and asked:
"Ready to meet your tutor, Harry?"
I took a deep breath and nodded. I just hoped it wasn't anyone unpleasant.
.
o0o0o
I opened the door of Lucius' study to find out who would be my tutor in the next few months. I dearly hoped it was someone with whom I would be able to get along well.
The suspense of the door slowly opening was killing me all of a sudden, so I just pushed it out of the way and quickly entered the room.
There was a man sitting on one of the chairs in front of the desk. He turned around to face me and I recognised him in a flash. I hadn't seen him for seven years at least.
My feet carried me to him in haste and I threw myself in his arms, hugging him tightly.
"Moony! I can't believe it's you!" I shouted, overwhelmed with happiness.
He tightened his arms around me, rubbing my back soothingly. When he pulled away, his face was lighted up by a kind smile.
"I'm so glad to see you again, my Prongslet. You haven't changed one bit since I last saw you."
I pretended to be offended.
"Moony! That's not true, I grew up a lot! I'm nearly your height now, look!" I exclaimed, drawing a line between the top of my head and his temple.
He ruffled my hair affectionately. I felt like I was ten again.
" Happy birthday, Harry. I'm so happy to have the chance to be with you again. I would have contacted you before, but I was on probation and closely monitored after I left the village. I wish I had a gift for you, but the Dark Lord didn't tell me beforehand who exactly I'd be tutoring here."
I suddenly remembered my surroundings. I turned to the Dark Lord, who by now was sitting on Lucius' throne of a chair and looking a bit annoyed at Remus. When he saw me looking, however, he smirked quite smugly at me. I beamed at him.
"You arranged this? How did you know I was close to Remus?
-Well, when he left the Rebels, we Legilimensed him to make sure he was sincere about his change of allegiance and his only regret was to leave you and your godfather behind. I had forgotten about him, to be honest, but when I saw his name in the list of available tutors, I thought it would give you an occasion to reconnect. Now, sit down for a while. I just want to go through a few details concerning your studies with both of you."
I calmed down marginally, but I still felt a bit hyper. We discussed schedules and subjects and determined that I wouldn't need instruction in Defense or in Charms, since I was more advanced than the Hogwarts curriculum in them. Transfiguration and Herbology needed a bit of polish, but the main issue would probably be Potions. I was abysmal at it. We set the time of our first tutoring lesson for the following Monday and soon Remus had to leave again. I wanted more time to catch up with him, but I thought my questions could wait a few days. The meeting was concluded shortly after.
.
o0o0o
When Remus left, Voldemort closed the door behind him before turning to me.
I suddenly couldn't contain myself anymore. I jumped up from my chair and threw my arms around the man to express my overwhelming gratitude for his wonderful gift. He staggered a bit backwards at the unexpected assault, but soon closed his arms around me in return.
I felt so comfortable. I was shamelessly basking in the man's warmth and soothing magic, soaking it up in the few seconds I was allowed close to him. I felt something inside me purr in contentment. Any seconds now, I'd probably be pushed away roughly and treated coldly for disrespecting him. So I relished in the moment.
When I was pushed back, I cautiously looked at his facial expression. He didn't look angry with me. That was a good sign. But he looked like he was pondering something serious.
I coughed nervously, looking around a bit and scratching my tingling scar distractedly before focusing on him again.
"Thank you so much! It's the best birthday gift I ever had!" I beamed at him again, returning easily to my happy mood. His lips seemed to start smiling back at me automatically before he controlled his expression.
He sighed a bit and looked at me considerately.
"Alas," he exclaimed over-dramatically, "it was but a most fortuitous coincidence. I didn't know that is was your birthday. And I'm quite certain that you didn't tell either of the Malfoys, because if you had, you would probably be dancing right now in a ball thrown in your honour."
I flushed a bit in embarrassment and muttered:
"Thank the gods I didn't tell them, then. A ball is the last thing I want.
-Ah? You are not partial to dancing, then?" he enquired. I felt a bit awkward, suddenly.
"No, well, I wouldn't know. I've never really danced." He looked again as if he was wondering about something.
"I would like to offer you something else for your birthday, Harry. Is there anything you wish for? Anything you desire?" His eyes were now completely focused on me and his voice had acquired back its velvety quality. I felt an indescribable tension rise between us. I looked at him, hesitating on what to answer.
He lifted his left hand and lowered it slowly on my right shoulder, cupping my neck slightly. His thumb caressed the bare skin of my neck, making the sensitive skin tingle at the slightest movement.
I swallowed nervously and felt myself flush with sudden arousal. I looked up to his eyes. They were looking at me hungrily.
Why would this powerful man want me? It must be a spur of the moment thing. He'll probably change his mind in a few minutes.
I felt a pang of disappointment at the thought.
I should take advantage of it while it lasts. It's my birthday, and I want a kiss. I've dreamed about kissing him for years and now he stands there and he looks willing enough...
My eyes flickered down to his lips before looking back up to his eyes.
Fuck this, fuck consequences, it's my seventeenth birthday and I'm not an honorary Gryffindor for nothing.
I licked my lips again and began to move my head towards his.
.
One second, I was there, a bit hesitant but resolved, and the next, his lips were on mine, devouring me hungrily and forcefully. I felt as if the world had tilted on its axis. My eyes had automatically closed to feel better the silk of his lips deliciously rubbing against mine. His left hand, which was grasping my neck lightly, slid up to bury itself in my hair, pulling me closer to his face. His right hand was pressing me against him and slowly trailing down from my waist to my hip. I felt myself collide with something solid behind and hazily concluded that the Dark Lord had shoved me against the door of Lucius' study. But I was far too gone to care.
This was a universe away from anything I had ever felt. Cedric's kiss seemed like a joke, a parody of this one. The dreams that my feeble imagination had conjured also paled in comparison to the real thing.
It was as if I could feel everything all at once. I was overwhelmed by the sensations and at the same time I found my mind strangely detached from the situation, analysing everything.
I moaned under the assault of his talented lips and he took advantage of it to slide his tongue in my mouth and continue his exploration there. Our tongues brushed and then fought together passionately while I felt my magic rise inside of me and intertwine with the Dark Lord's powerful energy. I was running on instincts only, but I managed to hold my own for a while before finally submitting to his demanding tongue. The thought of that mouth exploring my body made me shiver.
My hands, which at the beginning had hung uselessly at my side, automatically lifted and brushed the Dark Lord's waist, continuing up to his chest before gripping his robes tightly and pulling him to me forcefully. I heard him hum in approval and suddenly felt empowered and triumphant. I, Harry Potter, had made Lord Voldemort lose some of his control and moan. I kissed him with renewed energy. As if he had heard my smug thoughts, he suddenly slid his right hand from my hip to my butt, squeezing it hard and startling a surprised gasp from me. He used that hand to pull me even more tightly against him while his chest squashed me against the door. I could feel his arousal pressing against mine and I rocked into his body reflectively, causing a delicious friction.
His mouth abruptly left my lips and his left hand lowered from my hair.
No, no! Don't stop so soon, please! I begged in my head.
He lowered his head at the crook of my neck and bit down harshly, making me shout in surprise before I felt a twinge of pleasure at the sensation. His left hand joined his right one on my backside and pulled me impossibly closer to him. I heard myself panting quickly. My hands slid up and buried themselves in his long silky dark hair. I tightened my grip reflexively in his hair when I felt him suck hard on my neck and dig his hands in the flesh of my butt...
.
I imagine that the slight pain caused by my hands distracted him from his task long enough to realise what he was doing. He pulled back sharply, looking at me, his eyes sweeping over my dishevelled appearance and parted, swollen lips.
I was catching my breath while I waited for a look of disgust to overtake his features. I drew myself up, not wanting to look weak while I was waiting for his judgment. I imagined it all in my head, Him, withdrawing quickly, announcing me that the past few days were just a set up to make me vulnerable and that we were to duel to death right at that moment, Him, laughing at me, mocking my pathetic display of inexperience.
I still expected the worse when I saw him smirk at me smugly. He squeezed my ass one last time and slowly withdrew his hands from my backside, but he stayed in place, so closed to me, looking me in the eyes. His left hand slid back up the side of my face and brushed against my forehead about where my scar was. His eyes flickered to it before it came back to me.
He brought his face closer to mine, and I felt his slightly stubbled cheek rub against mine as he drew nearer to my ear to murmur:
"There, that was better than duelling, don't you think?"
I felt my magic purr against his and something relax inside of me. I exhaled slowly and let myself fall back on the door behind me. I closed my eyes and answered:
"Much better."
.
...
Thank you in advance for reviewing and telling me what you thought of it! ^^