Remember Who You Are
Disclaimer: Blah. Blah. Not mine or yours, I think they're ABC's.
Warnings: This fanfic depicts romantic notions between two adult women. If you don't like that, well, I'm sorry for you.
Note: (Aug 16, 2012) For those that had previously read up to this chapter, I uploaded a new version today. I kinda wrote myself into a corner with the last version. I hope you'll like the changes I made. And as always, thank you Haku2009 for proof reading!
~~~ Chapter 6~~~
Emma dragged herself down the stairs from her room late in the morning the next day. Stepping off the last tread at the bottom, she stretched out her stiff body and released a fly catching yawn. Tension from the lack of sleep bothered her eyes. She tried to massage them away as she trudged into the kitchen and opened the fridge. As always, it was fully stocked thanks to Mary Margaret. Her roommate seemed relentless when it comes to making sure Emma ate properly, an area of self-care the blonde deputy was quite negligent about. Without doubt she appreciated the school teacher's intention, but at the moment she was so tired she had no motivation to even crack open an egg. So she just pulled out the carton of milk and decided a bowl of simple cereal will suffice.
Skipping over the disgusting bran flakes and shredded wheat Emma opted for the brightly colored box of fruit loops. The blonde could imagine the disapproving look on Mary Margaret's face if she was around.
'She's such a mom,' Emma snickered at the thought. Then she remembered what Henry said about Mary Margaret being Snow White and therefore was her mother in fairy tale land. She shook her head to rid of that silly notion. The lack of sleep was doing funny things with her mind.
As she spooned the sugary cereal into her mouth, Emma's thoughts drifted to the night before. She had no idea why she thought it would be such a bright idea to tell Regina Henry thought her apples were poisonous. In hindsight she realized how hurtful that must have sounded for Regina. All Emma wanted do was to somehow prove to the woman she was just trying to help dispel Henry's beliefs by eating the apple.
But by the way Regina reacted, or lack of reaction to it, she wasn't so sure anymore if she did the right thing.
A knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts. Quickly wiping off the bit of milk that had dripped down her chin she hopped off the stool and went to answer the door. Emma cracked the door opened peeking out into the hall, then immediately swung it open fully when she realized it was none other than the Mayor herself.
"Regina?" The dark-haired woman's unexpected visit set off alarms in Emma's head. "What—Is it Henry? Is he okay?" she asked in a panic.
Regina struggled to maintain her composure as she registered Emma's state of dress. Or lack thereof. The blonde didn't answered the door in her just underwear this time, but Regina thought she might as well did in that snug fitting tank top and short shorts. Already she could feel her annoyance simmering just below the surface as the mere sight of the deputy threatened to distract her from the purpose of her visit.
Clearing her throat, Regina made a conscious effort to keep her eyes leveled at Emma's face. "He's fine. I dropped him off at school this morning," she answered coolly, and then pushed past the blonde and into the apartment without waiting for an invitation.
"Please, come on in," Emma mumbled under the breath closing the door behind her.
She walked around her guest and climbed back onto her seat at the kitchen island to resume her breakfast, leaving Regina standing next to the dining table as the brunette took in the apartment's interior with critical eyes. The Mayor's unannounced visit unnerved her and she was thankful for the bowl and spoon in her hands to keep them from fidgeting.
Stepping into the apartment Regina was immediately enveloped by a thick, warm heat. She shifted uncomfortably in her coat making an effort to appear impervious by the temperature, all the while glaring at Emma who must have cranked up the heat to accommodate her scandalous attire. Regina lasted another minute more before she had to pull off her coat and drape it over one of the dining chairs. Neatly folding her hands in front of her, she turned her attention back to the blonde. Her eyes narrowed when she noticed Emma's cereal choice, one of Henry's favorites, reminding her yet again the irrefutable connection the woman have with her son.
"Henry wants to see you," she said breaking the silence.
Emma raised an eyebrow at the statement. "Yeah? And are you saying you are gonna let me?"
"I might consider it," Regina answered, pleased to see the hope on the blonde's face. She was correct to assume Emma's affection for Henry would make an excellent bargaining chip. "But first I want some answers from you."
"Okay..." Emma agreed warily. She didn't like the sound of this.
It was obvious that her chances of seeing Henry were dependent on how she answers the Mayor and she hoped she'd be able to provide the correct ones. It was hard to say when it comes to the capricious woman.
"Last night," Regina began, "you ate an apple from my tree with Henry watching. Knowing what his opinion is around the apples, that could have easily damage the bond you have with him."
Emma shrugged. "Yeah, I know."
"Why did you do it then?" Regina asked.
"Remember I said I would try to help give him a reality check? I was just doing that," Emma replied frankly.
"What's in it for you?"
"Uh… Nothing." Emma did not like the accusatory tone the mayor was taking. "What are you trying to imply?"
"Don't play games with me," Regina scoffed and let out a mirthless laughter. "If I didn't know better I would have thought you actually give a damn about me."
"And why is that so hard to believe, Regina?" Emma was growing frustrated. "Why can't you accept that I truly have no intention to be your enemy?"
Regina's expression remained unconvinced. "What else could you possibly intend to be then? What are you really trying to do, Ms. Swan?"
"Geez! I'm not trying to do anything but be a..." Emma caught herself before uttering the word friend. It was too presumptuous, she supposed with some sadness. She sighed, running her hand through her hair. "Look, I can't explain why, but I do care."
"No, you don't," Regina refuted, looking away quickly. "You can't." No matter how appealing it may be to believe Emma's words, she couldn't risk allowing herself to consider the possibility of it because, well, it's just not possible. Why would Emma Swan be any different?
Regina turned back to Emma with a hardened look. "I'm going to give you one more chance to tell me what I want to know. Why are you so set on ripping Henry away from me after abandoning him all these years ago? Did someone put you up to this? Who do you work for?" she demanded, losing what little patience she had left.
It took a moment for Emma to register everything that Regina had just said. "Holy crap, woman. Why are you so paranoid? Maybe you should consider logging some session time with Archie-"
"Don't test me!" Regina snarled. "There's nothing wrong with me. Everything was fine until YOU showed up!"
Crossing her arms over her chest, Emma returned the mayor's glare. She did not appreciate being blamed for no good reasons. "Wow, funny how everyone else in town has no problem with my staying. Have you ever thought of why that is? Maybe, Madame Mayor, the problem isn't me but YOU!"
For a moment, Regina looked as if she was about to blow her top. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself and contained her sudden desire to physically lash out at Emma. It would have been quite satisfying, Regina presumed, to land a fist on that smug expression the blonde was sporting. "Well, you have certainly made my making a decision easy. As long as I'm around, don't even THINK about seeing or talking to Henry."
Blue eyes grew wide at the unreasonable restriction. "Whoa, now wait a minute... Henry is my-"
"Henry is MY son," Regina reiterated firmly. "He will never be yours. You knew right from the start he is much better off without you. Just look at where you gave birth to him to start." She then made sure she was looking straight into Emma's eyes and said, "In jail no less!"
Emma's blood ran cold as she was reminded of her biggest regret in life, bringing forth all the guilt and heartache with it. She didn't even bother to ask how Regina knew. It wouldn't surprise her that the woman got a complete background check on her. But to have the information used against her in this manner?
"I think you should leave now, Madame Mayor," she said as calmly as she could.
"Excuse me?"
Emma walked over to the door and opened it. "I think you should step through this door and vacate this apartment immediately. Is that clear enough for you?"
Regina had never seen Emma's take on such a hardened expression before. For a second there she wondered if she had taken it too far. Her concern was short lived as she realized the blonde had just ordered her to leave. And Regina takes no orders from anyone.
She lifted her chin in an indignant tilt. "I will leave when I'm good and ready to."
"Either you walk out yourself or I'm going to get my cuffs and slap them on you. Then I'd drag you down to the station and charge you for trespassing."
Regina narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't..."
"Oh I would," Emma assured. "Even if it means getting my ass fired, I would."
When Regina refused to move, Emma shook her head and turned to the chest of drawers next the door where she kept the handcuffs. "Fine, you asked for it."
"How dare you-" Regina stepped towards the blonde and before she finished her sentence, Emma used her forward momentum and gave her a shove, pushing her through the door. Her coat came flying at her next and then the door was slammed in her face. Before Regina could process what had occurred she found herself standing in the empty hallway and staring at the peeling paint of the door.
'What the hell just happened?' Clutching her coat in her hand, Regina dumbfoundedly blinked at the door. Then it hit her. 'She threw me out. She fucking threw me out of the apartment!'
To say Regina was livid would be an understatement. She was, a time ago, the queen of vast lands. Now, the mayor of a town. She had everyone under her thumb and this woman that dropped into her life out of nowhere threw her out into the hall?
The rage from being so outrageously defied rumbled within her. She could feel the palms of her hands firing up as her power coursed through her veins, begging for release.
'I'll kill her!'
With a snarl she tore her coat apart like it was paper. The pieces burst into flames and disintegrated in her hands. Then a quick wave of her hand she disengaged the dead bolt and unceremoniously flung the door open.
Emma spun around at the abrupt reappearance of the mayor, stunned as Regina made a beeline for her. It all happened so quickly. Emma only had seconds to register the wild expression on the brunette's face and briefly noted the strange blue sparks in her peripheral vision before Regina reached her and grabbed her by each side of her face unexpectedly.
'What the hell...?!'
As soon as Regina's hands made contact with Emma's skin, she felt her power drained violently out of her. 'How...?'
She held back a sob as she found suddenly herself in a completely helpless state. Why was it that all her best laid plans never turn out the way she wanted when it comes to this woman? Emma had already proven to be a continual threat to her role as a mother. She held absolutely no regards for her authority as the town's mayor. Now even with her last resort to using magic was rendered useless.
Regina searched the face she held in her hand, wondering how this woman able to practically turn her life upside down so effortlessly. 'Who in the God's name are you?' she screamed in her head. Strength escaped her and her legs started to give out under her.
Emma watched Regina's expression transform from an animalistic fury to utter confusion. Witnessing yet another rare moment of raw vulnerability in the impeccable woman, Emma couldn't help but let her guard down again. Their heated argument a few moments ago forgotten while she caught the other woman before she collapsed.
"Whoa! I got you."
'Do you?' Regina continued to search Emma's soft blue eyes as she held the blonde's face in her hands. That look. That same one on that at the mines. The one with the furrowed eyebrows, concern filled gaze, and that awkward half-smile that made Regina want stop fighting and believe in her.
'Can you truly be trusted?' Lost and unhinged, Regina was unable to answer her own question. Desperately needing something to anchor her, she drew Emma closer.
Sensing the desperation from the way the brunette was hanging on to her, Emma allowed herself to be pulled into the kiss. It started off soft, almost tentative, but quickly deepened and became demanding. It was as though Regina was searching for something. Whatever it was, Emma found herself wanting to be the one to give it to Regina. She wanted the Mayor to want her, to need her. Because then, maybe, Regina wouldn't ask her to leave. She will finally belong somewhere, she thought wistfully.
A moan escaped Regina before she could stop it as she got caught up in the kiss. The blonde was doing wonderful things with her mouth. She had been afraid of this, knowing how easily she could get lost in Emma. But any intention to stop and pull away disappeared when she felt Emma's arm tightened around her waist, and she responded by circling her arms around the other woman's neck pulling herself even closer. The firm and sure movements of Emma's lips against her own was oddly comforting and assuring. How ironic, she thought in her head, that the woman that robbed her of her strength just a short moment ago was feeding it right back to her.
With a sense of equilibrium seeping back into her system, Regina's clutch on Emma became less like a drowning woman grasping at straws. Instead, she prolonged the closeness simply because she wanted to. She couldn't remember the last time she was kissed with as much sincerity and fervor. A small voice in her head was yelling at her that this is a terrible idea and she will regret this, but it was easily overpowered by the need her body was feeling. Crossing the line she fought so hard to keep was all kinds of wrong, she knew. But it just felt so right at the same time.
Finally the need for oxygen broke the two women apart. Regina rested her forehead against Emma's, trying to slow her breathing and heart rate down. A million conflicting thoughts raced through her brain and Regina was having difficulty focusing her mind while being this close to Emma. She needed space.
Emma felt Regina stiffened in her arms. The Mayor's body, which seconds ago fitted against hers so perfectly, was now rigid and awkward for Emma to maintain their embrace. With a sinking feeling she let her arms drop, allowing Regina to break away from her touch. Hopeful blue eyes searched desperately in bleak brown ones for a way back pass the wall that once again was raised between them.
Regina broke eye contact first, unable to bear the weight of the deputy's probing gaze. A second longer and she would have given up any further effort to resist Emma's advances. The blonde seemed to have an uncanny ability to tear down her walls faster than she could put them back up. Hiding signs of her discomfort by casually straightening the cuffs of her shirt, Regina worked her jaw trying to find words to explain her lost of control moments ago. Her brows furrowed when she couldn't come up with an explanation. Then she reminded herself she also wasn't obligated to provide one. And of all people, especially not Emma Swan. So she simply turned on her heels to leave.
"Wait." Emma halted the Mayor. "So this is it? You're just gonna leave?" she asked, silently adding 'after a kiss like that?' Her body was still buzzing after it and her irritation rose as Regina stare back at her blankly.
"It's what you wanted, wasn't it? You did literally toss me out the door."
Emma was incredulous. "And then you barged your way back in and kissed me!"
"Merely a lapse in my judgment," Regina replied off-handedly. "It meant nothing."
"You're lying," Emma retorted, watching the brunette's face carefully. And not surprising an impeccable dark eyebrow raised in response to the statement.
Regina scoffed. "Am I?"
Quickly stepping into Regina's space, the unmistakably hitch of a breath was all Emma needed for her case. "Yep. Madame Mayor. I'd say you are."
Regina's eyes narrowed dangerously at the blonde's smugness, silently chastising her own traitorous body for giving her away. Feeling cornered, Regina was about to let loose another tirade of cutting words to fight her way out of the spot she was in, only to be stopped by a warm hand sliding up behind her neck tugging her forward and Emma's lips were on hers again.
Regina kissed Emma back without a thought. Her brain seemed to have developed a tendency to short-circuit whenever Emma touches her, letting her body to completely override her rational mind. Her skin tingled and buzzed when the blonde's roaming hands boldly slipped under her shirt.
Then a hand grazed the side of her breast. The touch sent a jolt straight down between her legs. Gasping, Regina pushed away from Emma.
"Stop fighting this," Emma murmured, already leaning her head towards Regina's again.
"No." Turning her face away quickly and evading Emma's lips, Regina pushed again and held the deputy at arm's length. She winced inwardly as her protest sounded feeble even to her own ears. She closed her eyes for a moment to recollect her resolve. Drawing in a breath, she untangled herself from Emma. "You're wrong." She stepped away and headed towards the door. "This isn't what I want. All I want is to not lose Henry and nothing else."
"Regina," Emma called out, stopping the Mayor with her hand on the doorknob. She looked longingly at the brunette who's once again pulling away from her. Regina's stubborn refusal to acknowledge the attraction they have for each other left her a little broken hearted. But Emma wasn't about to give up yet. Whether Regina likes it or not, there is a link between them in the form of their son. "I don't want you to lose Henry too. But the fact is you are." She watched as Regina's back stiffened. "Let me help you, Regina. C'mon… just take a chance on me."
Was Emma asking her to take a chance on whatever it was developing between them? Or to take a chance on trusting the blonde to not take Henry away from her? Regina wasn't sure which one Emma meant. Maybe she meant both, Regina considered. She was torn by Emma's words. Her head was telling her not to take the risks. But her heart, that damn trouble-causing thing, was telling her otherwise. Her grip on the door knob tightened the whites of her knuckle showing. She hated what she was feeling, not able to make a decision. She needed time to reassess the situation, preferably without distractions in the form of an alluring deputy or a sulking 10-year-old.
'God, I hope I'm not making a mistake.'
Regina took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "You can pick Henry up from school today and take him to dinner." Then she was out the door before Emma actually had a chance to answer.
Alone in the apartment again, Emma stared at the closed door while her lips slowly pulled into a smile.
Navigating through the herd of children making their way off the school yard, Emma eventually fell into step with one boy in particular. She had spotted him immediately a few minutes prior when the school released them and took in his demeanor. He was positively moping, dragging his feet with his head down as he shuffled towards the street. He didn't even notice her until she playfully bumped him with her hips.
"Hey, kid." She looked down at him with a bright smile.
Henry blinked once. Then twice. Finally his face split into a huge grin as Emma's physical presence registered. "Emma!" He threw his arms around her.
Emma laughed at his enthusiasm. "Whoa, easy there." Taking his shoulders she guided up towards her yellow beetle.
"What are you going here?" He looked up at her, and then nervously scanned their surroundings. "My Mom will be here any minute!"
"Relax, champ." Emma patted him on the cheek. "Your Mom and I reached some sort of… uh… understanding."
Henry wasn't entirely convinced. "So… she just simply decided to let you see me?"
"Yup. Pretty much." Emma shrugged, deciding not to tell Henry about her morning with Regina in details. She worried he wouldn't understand the complexity of what was going on between her and his mom. Hell, even Emma herself couldn't figure out the half of it. "Look, don't worry about it. Okay?"
Henry pursed his lips. "Okay," he agreed reluctantly.
"What's that?" Emma pointed to his hand.
"Huh?" Henry looked down at the rolled up paper in his grasp and blushed. "Um… nothing."
"C'mon, what is it?" She nudged him.
"Well…" He sighed. "You know how I was away from school for a week. Today when I got back, Ava gave me this painting she did. Kinda like a welcome back present." Henry felt his cheeks burn up with embarrassment.
Emma couldn't keep the grin off face at the cuteness the boy was displaying. "Aw… how sweet! Hey isn't Ava the girl you thought was Gretel?"
"Yes." Henry fixed the blonde with a serious look. "She really IS Gretel. She just doesn't-"
"Remember," Emma completed the sentence. "I know, Henry." She fought the urge to roll her eyes.
Henry caught the undertone of Emma's voice and dropped his head dejectedly. "You really don't believe me, huh?"
"Henry…" She scratched her head thinking of a way to talk to the boy without coming across as totally writing off his robust imagination. "I believe you really believe in this fairytale business. It's fine, but sometimes I really think you're going a bit too far with talks about your Mom being the evil queen-"
"She tried to kill me."
Emma's steps stilled, completely shocked by what the boy had just said. Grasping him by the arms, she kneeled down to his eye level. "What," she hissed, "in the world are you talking about?"
"The car accident. It wasn't an accident. She tried to kill me," Henry repeated. He glared at the blonde, angry and disappointed that she did not believe him.
"Oh my god." This is far worse than Emma could have ever imagined. "Henry, this is ridiculous. Your Mom would NOT hurt you."
Henry looked about to burst in to tears. He stomped his foot with frustration. "You weren't in the car! She had blue sparks coming out of her hands and then we were hit! I swear it's true!"
Emma pinched the bridge of her nose. "Henry," she started slowly and calmly, "me and Graham went through the scene and there really was nothing that indicated the crash was anything other than Leroy driving into you guys while drunk as a skunk. You were hit on the head pretty hard during the accident," she reminded him. "Maybe your mind was playing tricks on you."
"No, it wasn't." Henry shook out of Emma's grasp and went to sit on the curb. "I know what I saw," he muttered.
The boy seemed so fixed on his beliefs, Emma felt like her patience was running on its last leg. Her instinct was to call it quits. And the old Emma, the pre-Storybrooke Emma, would have followed it. But the past few months changed her. She ran out on Henry once and she wasn't about to do it again.
A few moments later, Emma joined him on the curb. "Tell me what happened then, Henry."
Henry turned to her, searching her face in a fashion that reminded Emma of his adoptive mother. "It was raining that night," he began, deciding to trust the blonde. "Mom was driving us home from my appointment with Dr. Hopper. It wasn't anything unusual. But suddenly a car came out of nowhere. I remember the headlights lighting up Mom's face. It was so bright. I could see her face clearly. She looked… mad. She held me down with one hand and blue sparks came out of her other. She must've been controlling the other car 'cause the next thing was it hit us and I don't remember anything else after…"
Emma regarded the boy silently, mentally processing what he had just said to him against the evidence she gathered from the scene. Physical evidence doesn't lie. She had no intention of calling Henry a liar too, but something just wasn't adding up right. "You said you were able to see Regina's face because it was lit by the headlights of the other car." She waited for him to nod. "That would mean, the car was approaching from the right side of the car." Henry thought about her deduction then nodded in agreement. "Henry, when we got there, your mom's car was rear ended." She remarked with her brows furrowed.
Henry mirrored her confused expression. "Maybe… maybe her magic didn't work properly," he attempted to explain the inconsistency.
"Or maybe she was trying to save you," Emma suggested instead, and then shrugged her shoulders at the preposterous look Henry was giving her. "I mean, she was mumbling about not being able to keep you safe or something that night at the hospital."
Henry shook his head, seemingly shocked at this other angle of view that was presented to him. "That's not possible," his voice trailed off as a small seed of doubt was planted in his mind.
Emma regarded the boy with a heavy heart, saddened by his inability to see how much his adoptive mother cares for him. Scratching her head, she was at lost with what else she could do for him. Then she suddenly remembered something. She dug into the inside pocket of her leather jacket.
"Look." She nudged Henry, bringing his attention to the photograph she now held in her hand.
"How did you get this?" He asked, taking the photo from the blonde woman.
"Found it in your Mom's study that time I was inside your house. I kept it because I never had a photo of you," Emma explained. She watched him as he quietly took in her words and the scene captured in the photograph. "Henry, I hated that I gave you up pretty much as soon as you were born and I missed out on a lot while you were growing up. I didn't have a lot of options back then. Putting you up for adoption was the toughest decision I ever had to make in my life. And it was only recently that I stopped wondering if I made a mistake giving you up. Do you know why?" When Henry shook his head no, she continued, "Because I saw firsthand how Regina was able to provide for you in ways I would never be able to. And most important of all, she loves you. Look at the both of you." She jerked her chin at the photo. "Check out those smiles. That ain't fake, kid." Henry chewed on his lips as he mulled over her words, giving her doubtful glances. And since he wasn't looking at her as if she was out of her mind, she pushed on, "Seriously, growing up you don't know how many times I wished the next foster family I get dumped to would finally be the one that that loves me. That wants me and keeps me. I never got my wish, Henry. Don't you see how lucky you are?"
Henry knitted brows together and considered the question. "How come I don't feel it then?"
"So you're telling me, that when you look at that photo you feel nothing?" Emma asked.
Henry's eyes fell back onto the photo in his hands. "Well..." He was unable recall when the photo was taken. For all he knows, Regina could have doctored the photo. But despite his reluctance to accept Emma's words, he did feel a strange tug in his chest as he studied the image of himself and Regina. "Maybe just a little... But she's still the Evil Queen!"
"She's also still your mother," Emma countered with a firm tone.
Henry glared back at her. "Why are you taking her side?"
"I'm not taking sides. I'm just calling it as I see it."
"This could be fake!" He shook the photo in her face, which she annoyingly swatted away.
"So can your book!" she shot back.
'God, he is so stubborn! Wonder who he got it from, me or Regina. Nature or nurture,' Emma mused as they tried to out stare each other.
The standoff lasted until Emma eventually conceded to the fact that she was, after all, the adult between the two of them. She sighed and softened her expression, attempting another tactic to deal with the situation. "C'mon kid, you have to admit that your fairy tale theory is pretty farfetched for any sane person to comprehend. But I stayed and I'm making an effort to make sense of it because you wanted me to. So don't you think it would be fair that you at least take my theory about your Mom into some consideration?" Despite him crossing his arms in a show of defiance, she knew she had him as the angry fire in his eyes dissipated and he scowled at her instead like the child that he is. On that note, she added, "And evil or not, she's letting me see you because it makes you happy. She doesn't have to, you know."
"Fine," he finally mumbled under his breath with reluctance. He didn't understand why Emma was so intent on putting in good words for his mom. Whatever she was planning, he hoped it wouldn't compromise Operation Cobra.
Take small victories one at a time, Emma told herself. She could only hope her message got through to him and that he just needed a bit of time to process their discussion. She ruffled his hair affectionately.
With the wind picking up as it got later in the day, Emma pulled her jacket tighter around her and stood up. "C'mon, kid." She extended a hand down to him wanting to get out of the cold. "Apparently I have you for the rest of the day. Your Mom said she's working late at the office tonight. Let's hang out at the apartment for a while. We'll see if Mary Margaret wants to join us for dinner later."