97
Not long after Jack's call, Daniel and Teal'c arrive at his door. Jack is sitting on the bed, and Daniel is alarmed at how ill he looks. He knew something was wrong when heard Jack's voice on the phone. "Are you all right? Do you need to go to the infirmary?"
"No. I'm not sick." He looks up at the younger man. "Sam was sick again a few hours ago, though. I brought her in."
"How's she now?" Daniel demands. "Should we go and see her?"
"She's sleeping. I just talked to Fraiser." Jack's eyes meet Daniel's for another moment, then drop away. "Sit down. I need to tell you something."
Predictably, Teal'c chooses to move a few steps nearer to Jack's position, and stands waiting quietly. Daniel drops into the room's only chair and regards Jack apprehensively. "What is it? Is it about Sam?"
"She's pregnant."
Daniel's eyes seem to literally pop. "What? How... I mean..."
Teal'c shifts position slightly.
"The baby's mine. It happened while we were prisoner on P3R-118."
Teal'c raises an eyebrow and regards Jack with concern.
Literally speechless, Daniel stares at Jack as if he's just grown two heads. After a moment he draws a breath. "That's... uh... I don't know what that is... Jack? What is it? What do I think here...?"
Jack actually laughs at Daniel's confused reaction... a brief, un-amused snort, but levity is entirely absent from his face.
Finally, Daniel recovers enough to ask, "What are you thinking, Jack?"
"I don't know," he admits honestly. "I feel like I've been hit by a truck. When I try to think about it, I get swamped with memories... awful memories..." He trails off. He can't bring himself to tell them just how vivid those memories are. Daniel is trying to think of what to say, when Jack adds, "I'm scared to death." He drops his head, hiding his expression from his two friends. "I... can't... I don't know if I can handle this. I keep seeing... Charlie." His voice breaks, then steadies. "How he died... Why... why he died."
"Jack..." Daniel begins softly.
"It was because of me," Jack continues. "He died because I made a very bad choice. What if I keep making bad choices...?" He raises his hands in a vague, helpless gesture, then lets them drop into his lap.
Teal'c speaks for the first time. "Everyone makes good choices and bad ones, O'Neill. There is no way to know the future consequences of anything we do."
"But I messed up in the worst possible way..." Jack stops and shakes his head—there is no point saying it again and again.
"A child is a true blessing, my brother. I have observed that you have a deep empathy with children, and I believe you will be an excellent father."
Jack stares at his Jaffa friend, moved by his words.
"I agree with Teal'c," Daniel says. "Don't confuse the past with the present, Jack. Right now the idea of a kid is bringing up horrible memories for you. But those things aren't happening now. You need to give this news a chance to... to separate itself from those memories. Does that make any sense? Maybe I'm not saying this very well..." He pauses for a moment, thinking. "Don't go back to the place you were when I first met you, Jack. You've come a long way since then, but you have to stop blaming yourself for Charlie's death. I know you can't ever forget. But you have another chance here."
"I don't know if I deserve another chance..."
"If you punish yourself, you'll be punishing Sam and the baby, too."
Jack looks at him, startled. After a moment he scrubs a hand roughly over his face. "I hear you, Danny."
"And you do deserve another chance," Daniel says emphatically.
"I concur, O'Neill," Teal'c adds. "You deserve an uncounted number of chances, my friend, for all the good that you have done."
Jack straightens his shoulders a little, and looks at his two best friends. "Thank you." There are tears in his eyes. "And you're right—I have to think about Sam, too. She was as shocked as I was. We didn't really talk yet. She was exhausted from being sick..." And I ran away. He frowns. "I don't remember Sara being so violently ill. I hope that's not a bad sign."
"I expect it's different for different women, Jack."
He nods. "Yeah." He blinks hard. "Ah, hell! I don't even know if she wants to keep the baby..." he says, in a low, frustrated voice.
The phone rings, and Jack stares at is blankly for a moment. He reaches for the receiver. "O'Neill... Yes, Sergeant. I'll be right there." He hangs up, frown deepening . "That was Harriman. General Hammond wants to see me."
"You're out of uniform," Daniel says.
"Yeah, I am." Jack glances down at the sweatshirt and PT pants he grabbed to bring Sam in. "But he wants me right now." He looks from one of his friends to the other. "Thanks," he says again, as he heads out the door.
Daniel and Teal'c exchange a look. "I've never seen Jack so... vulnerable before," Daniel says. "Do you think we were any help?"
"I do not know, DanielJackson. This is not something O'Neill can simply 'get over,' as you Tau'ri like to say."
Daniel nods. "That's true. This is gonna to be rough."
Jack's phone rings again, and Daniel reaches for it. "Jackson."
"Daniel," Janet says after a second's hesitation.
"Hi, Janet. How's Sam doing?"
"She's awake, and she's asking for Colonel O'Neill."
"He was just called to General Hammond's office. Can Teal'c and I come and see her? He told us about the baby," he adds as she hesitates.
"All right. I'm sure she'll be glad to see you."
"We'll be there in five."
98
"Come in," the General calls when Jack knocks on his door.
He steps into the office, closes the door behind him, and pauses there. Hammond's gaze is closed and stern as he turns to face his visitor. Jack stiffens. Damn. This is going to be awkward.
"Sir. You wanted to see me."
Hammond's eyes run down O'Neill's form and back up again. "Colonel. Your dress is hardly regulation."
"I'm sorry, sir. I brought Major Carter to the infirmary early this morning. Didn't think about how I was dressed..."
"Yes. I know about that. Sit down."
He obeys, and waits for the General to speak.
"I got a report from Dr. Fraiser this morning about Major Carter's condition." Hammond indicates the paper on his desk. "As I understand it, the Major became pregnant during your incarceration on P3R-118. Is that correct?"
"Yes, sir." Jack forces himself to speak quietly, and not to fidget. "Dr. Fraiser says she's six weeks along, and we were on 118 then."
"You and Major Carter were... a couple... during that time, and the child is yours?" Hammond sounds uncomfortable giving voice to these facts.
Jack closes his eyes for a moment and swallows hard. "We didn't remember our real identities, sir. We thought we were just two workers..."
"Yes, Colonel. I know all of that. About the child?"
"Yes, sir. The baby is mine." Jack's gaze is fixed somewhere over the General's shoulder.
There is a strained silence, while the two men avoid each other's eyes. Then Hammond clears his throat. "I've just been in a video meeting with the President, the Vice President and the Joint Chiefs about this situation, Colonel." Hammond stops.
The pause goes on for several moments. Jack's stomach tightens. Crap! They didn't waste any time!
"Um... Should I re-submit my resignation, sir?" Jack asks at last.
The General shoots him a steely look, but does not respond. It is obvious that Hammond is hating this conversation as much as he is. "There was unanimous agreement that no blame will be attached to Major Carter's behavior in this... incident... as she was under alien influence. No disciplinary action will be taken against her and nothing will go on her record."
"Thank you, sir." Jack is greatly relieved for Carter, enough so that he is hardly concerned about himself.
Hammond draws a breath to continue. O'Neill might as well know it all. "Some of those in the meeting were not so charitable towards you, Colonel. It was suggested by two people that Major Carter be compelled to file charges against you."
Oh, yes, and he can just imagine who would have made that suggestion!
"However, the President is adamantly on your side in this," Hammond continues. "He overrode the objections of the people who thought you should be disciplined, and virtually ordered that you be cleared of any responsibility, since you were under the same influence as Major Carter."
In other words, O'Neill owes the President big time.
"I understand, sir."
"I hope you do." Some people in Washington still have it in for Jack.
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Jack knows that the General is warning him not to let his guard down. This is excellent ammunition for Kinsey and his crowd.
Hammond takes a breath. "There is also another aspect to this that will have to be addressed at some point, and that is whether you and Major Carter will wish to pursue a personal relationship in the future, since the child's welfare is involved. If so, then we will need to look at the options that are available."
Jack does not respond for several beats. "Sir, Major Carter and I haven't discussed that yet. We only found out about the baby a few hours ago. She's in the infirmary and not feeling well, and there hasn't been any opportunity to talk about it."
Hammond sits back slightly in his chair. "What do you want, Jack?" he asks in a less formal tone.
He does not even have to think about the answer. "General, I would always want to be involved in the life of any child of mine."
"I thought so. Talk to Major Carter."
99
Daniel and Teal'c are met by Janet when they arrive at the infirmary.
"How is she?" Daniel asks.
"Physically she's fine. She was pretty upset earlier," Fraiser admits with a grimace.
"Did you tell her Jack is with the General?"
She nods. "I had to. She really wants to talk to him right now. Go on in. I'll be in to get her for an ultrasound in just a few minutes, but in the meantime, maybe you can make her feel better."
Sam looks up quickly when the door opens, hoping it will be Jack, even though Janet told her he is in General Hammond's office. Disappointment crosses her features briefly, but then she manages a smile. "Hi, guys."
"Hi, Sam."
"MajorCarter. I hope you are feeling better."
"Thanks, Teal'c. I feel okay now." She hesitates. "Janet told me that you guys know... um..."
"Yes," Daniel says. "Jack told us about the baby."
"I believe congratulations are in order, MajorCarter," Teal'c adds.
She looks at him in surprise. "You do? You think this is a good thing?"
"Indeed."
"Babies are great," Daniel puts in, enthusiastically. "Lots of fun."
"Okay." The corner of her mouth quirks upward. "How many babies have you dealt with, Daniel?"
"Well... not that many," he admits, sheepishly. "But they were fun!"
She has to smile at his effort—trust Daniel to try and raise her spirits. "I'm trying to get used to the whole idea."
"I know you are," Daniel says. "It may take a little while."
"What did Jack say to you?" she asks.
"Um... that you're pregnant," Daniel says slowly. "That you and he... well... you were together on 118."
"We thought we were Jonah and Thera. We didn't know about..." She waves her hand in a gesture meant to encompass the SGC, the military, their real life. "...any of this."
"We know that, Sam. We were there, too, remember?"
"I know." She sighs. "What else did Jack say when you talked to him? Is he upset?"
He avoids a direct answer on that. "You mean about the baby? You know he loves kids."
"Yeah, I know that." She doesn't know what else to add. After a minute, she switches topics. "I can't go through the gate now."
"True."
"We haven't really connected any problems in pregnancy to gate travel."
"It is better to be safe," Teal'c says.
"I guess," she agrees.
"How are you really doing so far, Sam?" Daniel asks, seeing the troubled look on her face.
"Shocked," she says. "I guess I haven't really grasped it yet. Never thought of myself as a mother, at least not until sometime way in the future. I never even babysat as a teenager—I don't think I'd know how to change a diaper." She laughs at the idea. "That's probably one of the easiest things to learn."
There is a light knock at the door and Janet comes in with a wheel chair. She smiles at Daniel and Teal'c. "Sam, we're going to take you down for an ultrasound—don't worry. There's no danger to the baby. I just want to cover all the bases."
"Okay." Sam frowns. "Is Jack back yet?"
"I haven't seen him," Janet says gently.
"He's probably going to be with the General for a while, Sam," Daniel says. "Maybe he'll be back by the time you're done."
Sam nods.
"The test will take about an hour," Janet says to the men. "Why don't you guys come back later?"
"We'll do that. I could use some coffee anyway." Daniel goes over and hugs Sam. "Don't worry," he whispers. "We're here if you need anything. It's going to be fine."
"We will see you later, MajorCarter."
She raises a hand to wave as they leave, then turns to go with Janet.