Many thanks again to the guest reviewers, and people who follow and favorite my story. I really appreciate it, and hope you continue to think it's worth it.
Also, yet another disclaimer that I'm not trained in medicine, and nothing I write along those lines can be considered accurate. I look it up on the internet, and then make it up from there! I have, however had several ultrasound exams over the course of four pregnancies, and can attest to how great they are!
100
Jack goes directly to the infirmary from Hammond's office, but Sam is not in her room. A nurse tells him she is having an ultrasound and won't be back for about forty-five minutes. He considers asking if he can go and join her, but it occurs to him that his presence might be embarrassing for her, so instead he settles down in a chair to wait.
He thinks about General Hammond's warning that there are people in high places who have it in for him. Well, he knew that already. Vice President Kinsey. Several powerful Senators who support the VP. The NID. From what Hammond says, there's also at least one member of the Joint Chiefs who doesn't like him.
President Hayes is still solidly in Jack's and the SGC's corner, however. And he knows the Air Force Chief of Staff is also a strong supporter.
He'll need to watch his back, though. He doesn't want any of the animosity towards him to spill over on Hammond or Carter or any of the SGC. He's prepared to resign to prevent that from happening.
Jack's thoughts quickly return to the more personal aspects of this situation, especially Hammond's hint that the Air Force may be willing to find a way for him and Sam to be together, if they want to raise the baby as a couple. Sam will not be allowed to go through the gate until after the baby is born, but her standing in the Air Force and the SGC appears to be safe, and she will not lose any of her advancements. He is not sure what Hammond has in mind for him, but as long as it means being with Sam, he can handle it.
...being with Sam and the baby...
Once again, apprehension causes him to tense up inside. He finds it impossible to believe that he can handle the responsibility of raising a child. It is equally impossible to consider giving up his child. What will Sam want to do? Will she want to be a mother, and raise the baby with him? And if she doesn't want that, would he dare ask her to have the baby and let him take custody? He's not sure he's brave enough to ask that of her. Geez! How did he even get to the point of considering such a thing, when a few moments ago he was convinced he could never manage the responsibility?! God, his feelings are so mixed up...
Is it a boy or a girl, he wonders, his thoughts veering in another direction. A little girl with blue eyes and blonde hair like Sam... Or a boy with brown eyes... He covers his eyes and tries to push away the images. Already he can see the little face, the smile as his daughter reaches to wrap her arms around his neck, or his son's grin as he slips his small hand into Jack's large one...
Stop it! Jack surges to his feet — and then has to sit down again quickly as lightheadedness makes him stagger! What the...? He takes a couple of deep breaths and sits still until he steadies. No breakfast this morning—in fact, no food since the early supper he and Sam shared last evening. He hasn't thought about it, he hasn't felt hungry. After he sees Sam he'll go down to the cafeteria and get something.
At length he gets up again, more carefully this time, and paces the small room. Suddenly stifled by the confined space, he opens the door and steps out into the corridor and turns toward the men's room. Ahead of him, Janet steps out of a cubicle and the two are face to face.
"Colonel," she says pleasantly. "If you're looking for Sam, she's having an ultrasound done at the moment. She'll be a while"
"Yes. The nurse told me."
She smiles and moves to go around him.
"Umm, Doc," he says. She stops and looks at him. "I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you earlier," he continues. "I wasn't thinking."
"It's all right, Colonel." Her smile gets warmer. "I understand. Rest assured I would never do anything that would hurt Sam or the baby."
"I know that. I really do. Anyway, I'm sorry."
"Thank you, Colonel. Now, is there anything I can do for you at the moment?"
He hesitates. "I have questions. About Sam, and the baby. But you probably can't answer them, anyway. Patient confidentiality."
"There's not much patient confidentiality in the military," Janet admits. "As her CO, you have a right to demand answers. But I'd really prefer you speak to her yourself."
"I understand. And I will. Talk to her, I mean." He stops, shaking his head. "You don't happen to know where Daniel or Teal'c went when they left here, do you?"
"Daniel said something about coffee. You could try the cafeteria."
"Thanks. I thought about going up there, but I want to be here when Sam comes back."
"Would you like to go up and be with her for the rest of the ultrasound?" she asks on impulse.
His eyes light up, but he hesitates. "I'm not sure she'd want me there. I don't want to upset her."
"I can ask her before you go in," Janet says, smiling. "But my guess is, she'll say yes. Come on." She turns toward the elevator, beckoning him to follow. After a moment, he does.
101
The technician performing the ultrasound is named Marcie. She has been gentle and considerate, putting Sam at ease immediately. Sam is wearing a tee shirt and PT pants that a nurse was kind enough to fetch from her locker, since she came to the infirmary in underwear and teddy. She is lying on the exam bed, pants pulled down and shirt up so that her abdomen is exposed. Marcie has dotted gel on her skin, and has been manipulating the sensor over her lower belly. Sam is relaxed and watching the image being produced on the screen. For the most part it is meaningless, dark waves, lighter spots, not recognizable as anything specific.
Suddenly Marcie grins. "Ah!" and hits a key, freezing an image on the screen. She angles the screen towards Sam and points with a stylus to a spot in the picture. "There, Major. There's your baby."
Twisting for a better view, Sam tries to make sense of what she's seeing. Amid the meaningless wavy image, there is a darker, open space—about two inches across. And inside that space is where Marcie is pointing— attached to the wall of the space is a tiny, white, faintly curved shape, that looks like—
"A bean!" Sam exclaims. "It looks like a little bean! That's my baby?!"
"That's your baby."
Sam's face breaks into a huge grin, even as tears fall from her eyes. "Hey, Little Bean! This is your Mama—oh, my God..." She claps a hand to her mouth and sobs. "I'm sorry..."
Marcie smiles and reaches across the table, grabs a packet of tissues and hands them to Sam. "Yeah—that's what they all do," she assures Sam. "That's why I love this job!"
"Can I have a picture of that?"
"Of course!" Marcie presses another key, and somewhere else in the room the whine of a printer can be heard. "Let's see if we can get anything clearer." Tapping once more, she sets the picture in motion again.
"Oh, God, I wish Jack was here..." Sam wipes uselessly at the overflow of tears.
The image on the screen has become jumpy and erratic. "Can you relax a little more, Major? Breathe slowly. Maybe I can get a better shot..."
Sam closes her eyes and concentrates on relaxing all the muscles of her abdomen, breathing evenly in and out.
"That's good, Major. Yes, much better...oops. Oh, my."
Sam's eyes fly open in fear, but Marcie is grinning.
"We've got a heartbeat, Major. Can you see that tiny little movement there...?" Again she indicates the spot.
Sam strains her eyes, but is unable to make out what Marcie is seeing; she trusts the other woman's experience, however, and is grinning just as widely.
"Let me get a measurement..." Marcie taps keys rapidly. "C.R. is 4.4 millimeters..."
"C.R.?" Sam questions.
"Distance from crown of the head to the rump. The baby's all curled up, of course, so we can't get a full length. Just a guess. I'd say 6.3 millimeters, maybe a little more."
My baby is six millimeters long, Sam is thinking, overcome with wonder. And it has a heartbeat...
There is a light knock on the door, and Janet slips into the dimly lit room. "Hi," she says, coming to Sam's side. "How's it going?"
"Just look there, Janet," Sam says excitedly, pointing to the screen. "Can you see? Marcie says it's six millimeters long and she can see the heartbeat!"
"That's wonderful!" Janet grins and gives Sam's hand a squeeze, leaning closer to look. She has seen quite a few obstetric ultrasounds, but each one is exciting. Especially this one, since it is her best friend's. "It's beautiful," she says. "Hey, Sam..."
"Yes?" Her eyes are on the screen.
"Jack is outside, hon. Would it be okay if he comes in?"
Sam's face lights up even more. "He's here? He wants to come in? Yes, if he wants to. Of course!"
"I'll get him." Janet goes back to the door.
Jack is leaning against the wall on the far side of the corridor where Janet left him. He is feeling distinctly uncomfortable and shaky, and has been considering leaving. Sam won't want him in there, he's sure. He really should just go before Janet returns...
But then the door opens and the doctor appears.
"Come on," she says.
He looks shocked. "She... says it's okay?"
"Yes." Janet grins, beckoning. "Come on in."
He pushes away from the wall and crosses the corridor slowly. When he is close enough, she grabs his arm. "Come on, Colonel. She said yes." She pulls him into the room.
It is very dim in the room, and at first Jack can't make out much. He can see what looks like a lighted computer screen, and the bed where Sam is lying. Her stomach is exposed. He looks at her face and she is smiling hugely. When she hears their footsteps, she turns that smile towards him. He lets Janet pull him forward.
Sam is holding her hand out to him. "Come here, Jack! You have to see this!" She grabs his hand as soon as he is close enough, and draws him forward until he is standing beside the bed. Beyond it is the ultrasound machine and screen, and the technician, sitting in front of it. "This is Marcie. Marcie, this is Jack." The woman there smiles at him. "Can you show him what we saw before? The Little Bean?" Sam demands.
"Sure. I think so," Marcie says. "Give me a second."
Jack watches the screen, the changing ripples and waves of... something indescribable. He saw Sara's ultrasound pictures, remembers being mystified. None of it made much sense. Sam is gripping his hand hard.
"There," she exclaims. "See that... oh, the dark area... oops... what happened?"
"Sorry," Marcie says cheerfully. "Just stay relaxed, Major. Lie back. We'll find it again."
The picture shifts and rolls; it reminds Jack of flowing lava, only without the color. He looks down at Sam's face. She is enraptured, her eyes glued to the screen, her lips parted, her grip threatening to crush the bones in his hand. Some of her anticipation transmits itself to him, and he feels his heart speed up and his breath shorten. His throat is suddenly dry and he swallows two or three times, trying to bring back some moisture.
Sam's face glows—it is the most beautiful face he has ever seen, and his eyes burn, as he feels tears trying to form...
"There!" she says suddenly, pointing. "There it is! Our Little Bean! Look, Jack! Freeze it, Marcie!"
There is a click of keys, and he switches his gaze back to the screen, sees that the ripples have stopped moving, they are motionless now, and he is able to pick out the small darker area, where Sam is pointing. And nestled against the edge of the dark is a tiny figure, cuddled into the curve of the space, safe and sound...
Jack feels his heart stop, and he gasps for air as his heartbeat accelerates again in leaps and bounds. His vision has tunneled down to that tiny little speck of life on the screen. That's my child... my baby... He cannot breathe. His knees buckle and a sound like high pitched whistling fills his head. Beyond the sound he hears Sam calling his name...
"Jack!" Sam cries as Jack sways above her dangerously. "Janet! Help me!"
He tries futilely to catch himself, and then there is a confusion of voices as his consciousness fades.
...He wakes up on the floor, lying on his side... recovery position, what, why? He groans, and a hand comes to rest on his shoulder. "Stay down," a voice orders. "Don't move, Colonel."
Couldn't move if I wanted to, Jack thinks blearily as his senses begin to slowly come back online. He draws in a deep breath and opens his eyes. Janet is crouching in front of him, her fingers on his pulse. Aw, crap. Doc'll never let me live this down. He tries to make the thought sound sarcastic in his head, but it is hard to do sarcastic when he remembers that tiny spark of life...
"Jack?" says Sam's voice, somewhere behind and above him. He realizes his head is resting on something softer than the floor—her lap. And her arms are around him, one cradling his neck, the other across his body, her hand spread over his chest. Heaven, he thinks and closes his eyes again. "Janet?" Sam says fearfully.
"Just a sec," the doctor replies. She fits her stethoscope to her ears and listens to Jack's heart for a couple of minutes, then moves it to his upper chest. Finally she removes the instrument, and looks up at Sam. "Sounds okay." She directs her gaze back to Jack. "Colonel? Can you hear me? Can you look at me?"
He rolls slightly toward his back, feeling his shoulder come to rest against Sam's midriff, and opens his eyes. Predictably, Janet has her little penlight in hand and flicks the beam across his pupils.
"Arggh," he objects, but it is just a whisper compared to his usual protestation. He looks up and sees Sam's worried blue eyes gazing down at him. "Sorry... I'm all right," he says, starting to lever himself up. A wave of dizziness hits him, and he drops his head back to her thigh. "Uh... think I'll stay right here though..."
"Dizzy, Colonel?" Janet asks. "Just give it a minute, okay? You should feel better shortly." She looks up at Marcie, who has been watching, concerned. "Marcie, could you call the infirmary and ask them to send an orderly up with another wheelchair, please? And get the Colonel some water."
"I have juice in the fridge," Marcie suggests.
"Even better," Janet says. "Thanks."
"I don't need a wheelchair," Jack gripes, once more trying to rise, this time finding that Sam is holding him down.
"You passed out, Colonel," Janet says. "You were unconscious for over five minutes. I have no choice but to check you out."
"Crap," he mutters.
Marcie returns with a paper cup, and Sam adjusts so he can lean up against her to drink the juice. "Thank you," he tells Marcie.
"I don't need a wheelchair," he insists again.
"Jack, please," Sam says. "Let Janet do her job."
Reluctantly, he settles down, knowing he's not going to get anywhere against both of them. After a few moments, he looks up at Sam again, into her eyes, and smiles a little. "What did you call her before?"
"What? Who?" Sam demands, puzzled. "Janet?"
"No. Our... baby." He feels his voice choke up on the word, clears his throat quickly. "What did you call her..."
"Her, huh?" Sam's smile is a little wobbly. "What makes you think it's a girl?"
"Looks like a girl. Beautiful like her mom. Didn't you see the long blonde hair and the big blue eyes..." he teases, but his voice thickens and betrays him and his eyes fill.
"Jack," she whispers. She sees that he can't respond at the moment, and she goes on, softly, "I called her Little Bean. Cause that's kinda what she looks like..."
He chokes, somewhere between tears and laughter. He swallows, then grabs her hand and brings it to his lips. "Woman—you are not... naming my daughter after a... a legume!"
The room is suddenly filled with mirth as Janet's and Marcie's laughter joins Sam's.
"Just until we think of a real name," Sam whispers through teary giggles.