102
Being pushed around the SGC in a wheelchair because of a fainting spell would normally be among the more embarrassing trips Jack could imagine taking, if he were not still trying to process the images he saw on the ultrasound screen. He took one of the printouts Marcie gave Sam and is looking at it as they make their way through the corridors and elevator rides back to the infirmary. He feels as if the tiny figure in the image has changed his entire perspective on life in those few seconds it took for him to recognize what he was seeing. There is no longer any doubt in his mind but that he must at all cost protect that small life. He knows that in order to do so he needs to talk to Sam and explain not only his feelings, but also his past.
Sam is ahead of him as Doc pushes her chair and Jack is dividing his attention between the picture in his hand and the back of her head as they travel. He wishes he could just stop them right here and talk to her, tell her how he feels. The need is so urgent that he has to grip the arm of the chair in order to keep from reaching out to her. At that moment she turns back to look at him, as if she has felt the pull of his regard. Their eyes lock for a long moment, and maybe it is simply his imagination, but he believes a silent word of understanding passes between them.
Then they are pushed into the elevator for the ride down to the infirmary level, and because the car is crowded—several other people are inside—he no longer has a clear view of her face. He turns his attention back to the picture in his hand, imagining the child who will grow from Sam's 'Little Bean.' A child with her brains and good sense, he hopes, shaking his head a little. And her beauty, of course. Ahh...that doesn't leave much for my contribution. Maybe my stubbornness, or sense of humor? So many questions are running through his head. How will we work this out? How do I explain to her why I'm so afraid? Will she want anything to do with me after I do?
He studies the small image. Charlie was a tiny creation like this once. Tears cloud his vision and he has to swallow a lump in his throat.
The elevator doors slide open. Janet and the orderly wait for the other passengers to exit before maneuvering the chairs out the door.
Jack objects when Janet directs him onto one of the exam beds in the ward, but she simply ignores him. When he stands up, he feels lightheaded again, however, and he sits quickly on the bedside, hoping she hasn't noticed. I gotta get something to eat.
Janet is moving Sam into the bed next to his—she really does not need the private room, the doctor says, and she is free to move around, just don't leave the infirmary.
"Hey, Doc," Jack tries to sound casual as he stretches out on top of the bedcovers, and raises the head of the bed to partially recline. "Any chance of some food around here?"
She turns and looks at him curiously. "When's the last time you ate, Colonel?"
"Dinner yesterday."
"Did you have any alcohol last night?"
"Couple of beers," he admits.
"How many is a couple?"
He thinks about it—sitting and watching the game until near midnight, with Sam asleep beside him. He'd had a beer in his hand most of the evening. "Six?"
She frowns. "Did you listen to anything I told you when I released you the other day?" she demands in her very-annoyed-doctor voice. When he refuses to meet her eyes, the frown deepens. "Have you had anything this morning? Besides the juice."
He considers. "I must have had some water sometime. Don't actually remember."
"I'm going to send someone in to draw blood, Colonel. And I'll order a breakfast tray for you. I want the blood drawn before you eat, though. You just hold on a few minutes."
"Here we go with the needles!" he groans as she disappears. He lets his head fall back on the pillow. After a few moments he turns his head to look at Sam and finds her eyes on him.
"Jack, are you okay?" Sam asks.
"What? Yep, I'm fine. Why?"
"You just... you look pale all of a sudden." She frowns. "You're still lightheaded, aren't you? I'm going to call Janet back..."
"No! No, Sam." He realizes he's being sharp, and pauses, then speaks more gently. "It's just a dizzy spell. Probably from not eating. I'll be fine." He pauses. "We need to get out of here so we can talk, Sam," he says softly.
"Jack..."
A nurse arrives at his bedside just then. "I'm going to take your blood pressure, sir." Removing the cuff from its mount, she wraps it around his arm and pumps it tight. She repeats the procedure twice before she seems satisfied. After taking his temperature and pulse, and listening to his heart and lungs with her stethoscope, she smiles at him before she leaves.
"You didn't complain," Sam says thoughtfully, after the nurse is gone. "Should I be worried?"
"What are we worrying about?" Daniel parts the curtain and he and Teal'c come inside. He does a double take when he sees Jack. "What are you doing in bed?" he asks.
"Are you ill, O'Neill?' Teal'c adds.
Jack rolls his eyes. "I had a dizzy spell. Hand me that blanket down there will ya? It's cold in here." He points to the foot of the bed and Daniel brings the cover up for him. "Thanks." Jack pulls it up over his shoulders, and turns on his side.
Daniel's eyebrows go up, and he glances at Sam.
"He passed out cold," she says. "Flat on the floor for ten minutes."
"Geez, Carter! Do you have to be so informative? And it was only five minutes!"
"Actually it was nearly eight, sir. Janet timed it."
"Why?" Daniel asks.
"Why did she time it? Beats me," Jack says.
It is Daniel's turn to do an eye-roll. "No! I mean why did you pass out?"
Jack shrugs, and waves a dismissive hand. "Didn't eat breakfast."
"We don't know why yet," Sam tells Daniel. "Janet's checking him out. We were looking at the pictures of the baby and he keeled over without any warning. It may be because he..."
"Hold it," Daniel interrupts. "Wait a minute. Pictures of the baby?"
"Oh yeah." She grins. "Ultrasound. I got a couple of them printed." She reaches over to the side table where she has put the pictures. "Look. There she is—doesn't she look like a little bean!"
Both Daniel and Teal'c come closer.
"She's six millimeters long, and Marcie could actually see her heartbeat!" Sam continues happily. "I couldn't see that part, but then Marcie's an expert on reading those things..."
"Are you able to tell the sex of the child already, MajorCarter?"
"Well, no—but Jack's decided it's a girl..."
Jack closes his eyes. The ultrasound printout is still in his hand...
. . .
"Colonel."
Jack jerks awake. A lab technician is standing beside his bed, with a tray of paraphernalia. Needles and such. He growls in his throat. The tech just smiles. "I'm here to draw some blood, Colonel. And hook up an IV for you." She starts to take out her instruments of torture.
An airman arrives just then with a tray for Jack, and he moves to sit up. "Thanks, airman."
"You're welcome, sir."
"I have to draw the blood first, sir," the lab tech says. "Sorry."
"It's okay," he says, trying not to look at the tray. "What's the IV for?"
"Fluids. You're a little dehydrated."
He extends his arm unenthusiastically, glancing over toward Sam's bed. She is gone, and Daniel and Teal'c are no longer in evidence. Must have gone for a walk, he thinks. Janet did say Sam could move around. He didn't notice when they left—
He drifts off again, and barely feels the needle pricks. The next thing he knows, the technician is pressing a piece of cotton to the puncture on the inside of his elbow, and covering it with a piece of tape. The IV is attached to the back of his hand. "Can I get you something, Colonel?" she asks.
"Water." He is thirsty.
"Sure. I'll be right back."
She is back quickly with the water, but before she gives it to him, she takes his temperature again. When she hands him the cup he drinks the water down eagerly. She refills the cup and leaves it on the side table. Then she pulls the hospital table with his breakfast on it over so he can reach it. "Enjoy your breakfast."
"Thanks."
He makes short work of the food. Then lies down again and falls asleep at once.
103
Jack is sleeping when Sam returns. Daniel and Teal'c whisper good-byes and promise to return soon, and she climbs onto her bed. She wanted to go for the walk, but after little while, she began to tire, so they insisted on bringing her back to the cubicle. The excitement of the past hour has faded, and she finds herself exhausted again.
She looks over at Jack. His empty breakfast tray is pushed to the side. There is an IV attached now. She frowns, wondering what Janet's tests showed. For a while she watches the regular rise and fall of Jack's chest.
Eventually her eyes close and she doesn't resist.
104
The sky is nearly dark—the last of Zeta's crescent is far in the west, and the sunrise is barely a faint rim of color on the eastern horizon. The night has passed and in a few minutes the sun will brighten the heavens. But for this moment, other stars are visible above the planet.
The meadow is filled with laughter—a child's high-pitched exhilaration, and a man's deeper joy. She turns around, looking for the source. No one is in evidence out in the open, and there is not enough light to see very far into the trees.
Then the small form bursts from the cover of the forest, blond curls flying, short legs pumping. "Can't catch me, Daddy!" thrown back over a shoulder. A few steps behind, he emerges, long legs restrained in their motions, playing the game. "Slow down! Daddy can't run that fast!"
"Mommy!" The child catches sight of her, and alters course in her direction, opening chubby arms, as the small body crashes into her legs, and clings tightly. "Safe, Daddy! Safe!"
"You betcha." He grins, coming to a stop a few feetd away. "Mommy's always safe."
"So is Daddy," she says, bending down to lift the child, and then walking the two of them into his waiting arms...
105
"Colonel..." Fraiser's voice says.
Jack opens his eyes slowly and looks up at her. "Hey, Doc. You interrupted a really nice dream."
In the next bed, Sam comes awake, also sorry to have the dream end. She looks over at Jack and smiles at the memory of the child she was holding.
"Sorry about that," Janet tells Jack, reaching for his arm. "Just checking your IV." Her tone indicates that she is stressed and out of sorts.
"What did the tests show?"
"The blood work isn't back yet. That'll take a couple of more hours. But you're a bit dehydrated and you have a slight fever. I want to start a broad spectrum antibiotic until I can pinpoint what's causing the fever." She talks as she checks the PV catheter, then removes a syringe from her pocket and injects the contents into the IV port. "If you've overworked your kidney, and developed an infection, it could cause some damage."
Sam is frowning, disturbed by what the doctor is saying.
"You said the kidney's healthy," Jack objects, in a more confrontational tone than he intended.
"That doesn't mean you can't damage it!" she snaps, reacting to his manner. "And don't forget—it's the only one you've got now. You have to start being a little more careful than you're used to, Colonel! Stress, not drinking enough fluids, not eating properly, and too much alcohol!" She ticks the list off on her fingers. "Those are all red flags for renal problems. Any of that sound familiar?" She snaps the words out, completely out of patience. "I'm sick of seeing your pretty face in here, Jack!"
Momentarily silenced, he stares at her as she adjusts the IV. Jack looks over at Sam, who is biting her lower lip and refusing to meet his eyes.
When Janet is just about done, he says, deadpan, "So you think my face is pretty, huh, Doc?"
She hits him on his thigh with her fist, hard. Sam bursts out laughing.
"Ow!" he hollers, as a grin appears. "Hey! Abuse by medical personnel! No fair!"
She stands there, hands on her hips, shaking her head. "Jack O'Neill... Can't you be serious for one moment?"
"I'm sorry..." He rubs his thigh and smirks. "I'll bet that makes a bruise. Maybe I should see a doctor."
"I guess that answers my question," she says, rolling her eyes. And then the doctor in her asserts itself. "Did I really hurt you?"
"Of course not," he says, at the same time Sam says, giggling;
"Hit him again, Janet!" And they all laugh together.
At length, Jack sobers. "I don't mean to make your job any harder, Janet. You know how I hate being in here. I guess I expect you to just bully me into doing what you say."
"Which I can do, when you're in the infirmary—but when you're not..." Janet shrugs. She is annoyed with herself for letting her frustration show. "You have to take care of yourself."
Jack glances away. He has never been very good at taking care of himself. He feels too much responsibility to take care of other people.
106
By mid-afternoon, Fraiser has released both Sam and Jack from the infirmary.
Jack's blood work has all come back clear. His kidney is functioning perfectly, with no sign of infection, and his fever is gone. The reason for the fainting spell is unclear, the tests show no red flags. Janet is relieved to find no problem with his kidney, still, she cautions him strongly about eating regularly and getting enough fluids—not just beer, she adds sternly.
"Let me know if you have any more dizzy spells," she instructs. "And don't drive for the next twenty-four hours."
He bites his tongue to keep from griping.
For Sam, Janet has prescribed an anti-nausea medication to be taken at bedtime. Hopefully this will ease the early-morning sickness she has experienced. She also gives her a scrip for pre-natal vitamins, and says she will set up an appointment with an OB-GYN at the Academy Hospital.
The results of Sam's more specialized tests are not back yet; Janet will let her know when they do, and they can talk about them then. She sees no reason to keep Sam in the infirmary, since she is only a phone call away.
Daniel volunteers to drive them home. "Where's your truck?" he asks when they reach the parking lot.
Jack points to Sam's car. "We came in the car this morning. My truck is still in Minnesota. I'll have to figure out how to get it back later."
Daniel drives them to Jack's house, and Teal'c follows, bringing Daniel's car. "There's not much for food in the house," Jack says. He grins at Sam. "Just cream of wheat and jello. But we can order takeout again, if you guys want to stay."
Teal'c and Daniel decline however, citing unfinished business at the SGC, so after thanking them, Jack and Sam watch their friends leave, and then turn back into the house, holding hands.
107
Inside, he pulls her into his arms and kisses her, holding her softly. When they break the kiss, he takes her hand and leads her into the living room and pulls her down on the couch with him.
"We're going to have a baby," he says.
She nods, a little unsure. "Are you okay with that?"
"Yes. I am." His voice is certain. "I know there are still a lot of things to talk about. A lot of things to work out. But I am more than okay with us having a child. I can't even tell you how 'okay' I am! Are you?"
"Absolutely," she assures him, so relieved at his positive outlook that all other problems seem unimportant.
"Then that's where we begin. This is going to happen. We're going to be a family." He spreads his hand across her stomach. "You and me and... Little Bean!"
"That sounds wonderful," she says, cuddling up close to him. "And those other things we need to talk about...?"
"Yes?"
"Can we put them off until later? Tomorrow maybe? Tonight, I want to enjoy just the three of us..." She smiles up at him. "Please?"
"You betcha," he agrees, leaning down to kiss her again.
"Do you really think it's going to be a girl?" she asks after a prolonged cuddle session.
"It doesn't matter to me, Sam," he answers honestly. "A daughter would be wonderful. So would a son. It's not even an issue as far as I'm concerned. What about you?"
"No, not really. I think I'd kind of like a boy... but we don't get to choose, anyway. I just want a healthy baby."
"That's right. That's what's important."
"Do you have any thoughts about names?" she says after a pause.
"Well—I guess he or she'll need one. Can't go around being 'hey, you' all their life!" He grins.
She swats his arm lightly. "Silly... I was wondering how you feel about Jacob as a middle name—if it's a boy, of course."
"Think your Dad would like that? Maybe make him less inclined to hunt me down and shoot me?"
"He's not going to do that! He likes you."
"We're talking about Jacob Carter, here, right? Air Force General? Tok'ra warrior?"
"You just saved his life, Jack," she insists, laughing. "He can't help but like you."
"Liking me for saving his life is one thing. Liking me when he finds out I got his only daughter pregnant is a whole other kettle of fish. Fathers are genetically programmed not to like the guys who get their daughters pregnant." He kisses her nose. "The name Jacob sounds just fine to me. If it's a boy, we'll definitely consider it."
"Thank you," she says sliding her arm around his waist and relaxing against him. She's warm and comfortable and almost ready to doze off, when Jack speaks again.
"When would you like to get married?"
"Oh!" She sits up. "I hadn't thought about that. But we can't do that until we get things straightened out with the Air Force."
"Sure we could. Quietly, in some little place far enough away that we don't run into anybody we know. If that's what you wanted."
She considers that for all of about three seconds. "I want our family and friends at our wedding. Janet and Cassie. Daniel and Teal'c. My Dad. General Hammond. So I guess we better make it right with the Air Force first. And maybe it could be before I get fat," she says hopefully. "So I can fit into a real dress."
He laughs. "You'll be gorgeous no matter what," he assures her. "Yeah, I'd like to have those folks there, too."
"It doesn't have to be big or fancy, though," she says. "Outside would be nice, but it's October already."
"Getting kind of late for that here," he agrees. "There's a beautiful non-denominational church out near the entrance to the state park. It's called The Mountain Chapel. It's not very big. But there's even community rooms where we could have a reception."
She looks at him wide-eyed. "You've been there!"
He shrugs. "Honestly, it isn't often I feel the need to go to church—but that's the kind of place I like when I do."
"I think I'd like something like that."
"Then we'll look into it," he says. "What about Thanksgiving weekend? That's more than six weeks away. We should be able to get things squared away by then. And you won't be too fat yet," he teases.
"Okay. I like that." She leans up to kiss his cheek. "I like that very much."