A/N Another chapter! Let me know what you think, and cheers for the reviews so far :)
Sitting low in the bathtub, I swished my hand along the water and through a few bubbles before skimming my fingers over my belly; the round top peaking just above the warm water. Time has surely passed I thought with a sigh, and so much has changed between then and now.
I couldn't help but think about the life I had before – how perfectly ordinary everything was. I had a good childhood in a quiet town. I went to school with friends I had known since I was young. I had a brother who loved me unconditionally, and a mother who provided me with everything I know – the difference between wrong and right, to be a good person and considerate of others – and then it was all taken away, in a single night.
I felt almost, in a sense, lost. Following the path before me blindly. Staring up through the small window just above the toilet, it was cracked open just a fraction; the cream coloured paint around the border flaking and stained. Closing my eyes, my head lolled to the side as my muscles relaxed throughout my body. Taking a deep breath, the bathroom had gone quiet – so much so that I could now hear the conversation in the next room.
Finding a few rolls of coloured wool and her knitting equipment in the closet of her bedroom, Dita has since busied herself in making sweaters and clothes for Amelia. Sitting on the single lounge chair in the living room, the room was quiet as the soldier sat at the two-seater kitchen table, while Amelia had gone for a bath.
Flickering her gaze up every now and then, few words between Dita and the soldier had been exchanged since arriving, and she wondered when the right moment to speak to him would be. An intimidating looking man, Dita felt the need to work up the courage to approach him; despite Amelia's best efforts in trying to explain he wasn't as bad a person as he looked.
"If you have something to say, then say it" spoke the soldier suddenly, making Dita flush with embarrassment. She had been caught red handed, and she wondered how long he had known. Shaking the thought from her mind, Dita stopped knitting to look straight at the soldier. She couldn't back out now.
"Time is running out..." replied Dita as she got up from the lounge to take a seat at the table, so she didn't have to talk so loud. Dita didn't want Amelia to hear, but little did she know that sound travels awfully well in the house "…I've grown to care for that girl, and I know you have too…I want what's best for her" said Dita, pausing to gouge the soldier's reaction "she'll need someone strong. Someone who can provide for both her and the baby she's carrying" looking down at her wrinkled and tans hands that lay in front of her, Dita added "she told me about her family…they may not be alive. She might not have anyone left but you-"
"She won't have me. Not for much longer…" announced the soldier abruptly, his words cutting the air and silencing Dita. Looking into the old woman's muddy brown eyes, he continued "I'll be leaving as soon as the baby is born…I can't stay. It isn't safe"
Leaning back, shock and anger was written all over Dita's face. How could he do such a thing? Why? Would he of told any of them of his plan if she hadn't of asked? Or was he just going to abandon them during the night?
"How could you?" Dita's words were icy "she'll have no one"
"She'll have you" replied the soldier with a snap "and that's all she needs. You can look after her better than I can. You can give her the life she deserves"
"You're wrong" spoke Dita with a shake of her head "you can give her just as much as I can, if not more…this isn't just about you, or even Amelia – think about the baby. If you leave, it'll grow up fatherless. Is that really what you want? For her to do it all by herself?" sighing, Dita leant forward in her seat "I'm old soldier, and I don't have many years left. I can't be there like you can, or protect her like you can"
"You don't need to convince me to stay, or keep trying for that matter. I made up my mind when you arrived…things might have been different – but there not" replied the soldier.
Staring at the soldier, Dita couldn't see much in the man's steel blue eyes; or the rest of his face for that matter, on account of his mask. Getting up from the chair, Dita didn't take her site off of him "She's wrong about you – you're not a good person…a good person wouldn't hurt her like that" turning around, Dita marched off. Angered, the old woman didn't have another word to say to the soldier. This is wrong.
Clutching the side of the bathtub, the water had long since gone cold but I was too upset to notice. Feeling a lump form in the back of my throat, I swallowed. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. He's going to leave me, just like that. After everything, the soldier was just going to disappear. He didn't even sound guilty when he had said it. He just spoke as if it didn't really matter, as if it weren't a big deal.
Finally managing to muster up the strength to get out of the bathtub, I felt the trickle of water run down the length of my body. He had said he was doing it for me. He thinks he can't give me a life, but he's wrong, he can – but he just doesn't want to.
Clutching the towel in my hands, I began to dry myself. I don't want to go outside. I don't want to see him. Not after hearing all of that. He'll notice somethings wrong, that I heard what he had said. I can never hide anything from him, he sees right through me like a sheet of glass. Hanging up the towel, I leant against the sink basin; staring at my crackled reflection once again. Glancing down at my stomach and my naked body, I couldn't help but wonder – what's the point of all of this? Because I don't see it anymore.
Rubbing my eyes, I got dressed. No doubt Dita would come knocking in a while to see if I was alright. I don't want her to see me like this. Opening the door to the bathroom, I didn't turn into the living room. Instead I went straight to the master bedroom, fortunately Dita wasn't inside. Drawing back the curtains, I opened the window before crawling onto my side of the bed. Tucking myself under the sheets, I laid on my side as I stared up at the full moon; a few scattered grey clouds wisping past as the stars glittered in the night sky.
Feeling the butterflies in my stomach flutter about as a single tear streaked down the corner of my eyes to land on the sheets, I kept quiet as possible. Silently crying. Wishing that the future would be different, or at least, that I didn't know. To not have to feel anxious about all the days that were still to pass until I give birth. To not be dreading the moment that I would wake up, and he would no longer be there; sitting at the kitchen, his eyes flickering small glances to make sure I was okay.
I'm going to miss him, more than I realised. Sniffling quietly, I wiped my eyes as the icy wind brushed against my wet cheeks "You aren't hungry?" came his low voice from the door way of my bedroom. Freezing, I hadn't heard him come down the hallway.
Hoping my voices wasn't croaky, I spoke up "No, I'm not hungry. I just want to rest" pausing for a moment, the soldier didn't reply but I listened to his boots as he left the room to walk back down the hallway. Sighing, I'm glad he didn't say any more. Snuggling further into the bed, I took one more glance out to the sky before closing my eyes.
Slowly brought out of my sleep, I was now laying on my other side; now facing the back of Dita's head. I didn't even noticed when she came to bed. Feeling extremely tired, I took a look around the dark room and realised it was early morning; the sun just about to peek above the horizon. Rolling onto my back, I closed my eyes trying to go back to sleep but no matter what I did, I couldn't.
Sighing, I stared up at the roof while listening to the small wheezes of Dita's breathing beside me. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, I pushed the blankets off of me and tip toed my way out of the master bedroom. I just need to freshen up. Heading into the bathroom, I closed the door behind me so that the light wouldn't bother anyone. After going to the toilet, I turned on the tap for the sink and splashed some cold water over my face and around my neck.
Patting my face dry, I was putting the towel back when I felt a sudden shift inside of my stomach; a kick soon following. Taking a deep breath, it was an uncomfortable feeling. But as I stood straight, a sudden 'pop' had occurred and a gush of water splashed down my legs to pool along the floor; the sensation felt as if I had instantly lost a lot of weight.
Clutching the rim of the basin for support, my eyes were wide as I stared down at the lower half of my body – I'm in complete shock. I wasn't expecting this to happen, not tonight. Not after all the soldier had to say – everything had just gotten a whole lot worse, and I had no idea what to do.
Looking around, I could still feel the stream of fluid leaking out of body to drip down my legs. It didn't seem as if it was going to stop, but I have to move. I have to get Dita or the soldier. Ignoring the uncomfortable feeling between my legs, I opened the door and walked as quickly as I could down the hallway. Coming into the living room, the soldier was heading toward my direction but had stopped once I came into view. He must have heard me.
Looking me up and down, I gathered he knew exactly what had happened. Taking the few extra steps, the soldier had clutched my arm and proceeded to take me to the master bedroom. Flicking on the light, Dita had awoken by the intrusion. Sitting up, she looked at me and then the soldier; her lips parted in shock "I'll get the towels…" said Dita before quickly getting up off the bed and rushing past us.
"Lay on the bed" spoke the soldier with a gesture of his hand. Doing as I was told, I shuffled onto the bed and laid down in the centre; bending my legs.
"What's going to happen?" I asked, feeling my breathing start to become less controlled. I was equal parts scared and nervous.
"Nothing yet…you still have to be fully dilated before you can start to push" he explained as Dita came back in with the towels. Taking one, I pushed my lower body up enough so he could lay them down. For some odd reason, I couldn't help but think about how much of mess I was going to make of the bed. It's going to be completely ruined.
"How long does that take?" I asked as I began to feel a sharp cramping in my stomach, which I knew was only the beginning.
"Six to twelve hours" he replied.
"What?!" I snapped, my eyes widening at the information. How was I supposed to go through this pain for six to twelve hours? It's madness. There's no way "isn't there any way to make it faster?"
"There is, but only if we have to…" groaning, the back of my head pressed into the pillow. Only if we have to, I thought with a scoff.
"Just relax Amelia" spoke Dita, trying to comfort me as she stood off to the side; her arms crossed over her chest as she still wore her thin nightgown "it'll be better that way, and don't forget to breath" nodding my head, Dita walked out of the room leaving me and the soldier alone.
It must have been the adrenaline, or the pain, but for some reason I snapped "I heard you before…when I was in the bathroom. I head everything. You're planning on leaving me here with Dita and the baby. Where you even going to tell me?" I asked with a slight hiss to my voice.
"Now isn't the time to talk about-"
"If not now, then when?" I asked while interrupting him "as far as I know, you probably won't be here tomorrow – so yes, now is the perfect time to talk about it"
Sighing, the soldier stood at the end of the bed "It's for your own good. One day you'll understand"
"Understand what? That you couldn't be bothered to stay? That you don't want to be a part of this life?" I questioned as I looked straight at him. I wasn't going to cower away. I was going to stand up for myself, and this baby.
"I do want to be a part of it – but I can't, because the happy life you want won't last" said the soldier "the war is almost over, soon everything is going to change. The people we left back at the facility, they'll be looking for me. You have to understand that running isn't a life…I'm doing this for you Amelia"
My lips were slightly parted as his words hit me – but more specially, my name. He had finally said it, and for some reason it didn't sound the way I thought it would, and it was far from the scenario I imagined he would be using it in. Looking away, I sighed lightly before clutching the sheets as the cramping in my pelvis started up again. It's going to be a very long night.