A/N: Not sure if this one is ANY more interesting than the first. Please, if this sucks, inform me! I really would like to know because I am cringing as I read this, so... I'm sorry about any mistakes since I can't continue reading my own splurge any longer orz
Really, Balthazar is insufferable. No matter how many times Castiel expressed his wish to be left alone in peace and comfort of his home, he'd always wave him down and say "Nonsense! Brooding is no way to mend a broken heart!" in his annoying English tone, then proceed to riffle through Castiel's wardrobe in search of the most scandalous items he owns, which is, thank god, not very scandalous at all. However, the cheery fellow fails to be deterred and promptly shoved Castiel into the bathroom with the clothes and refused to let him out until he'd changed. Castiel tried lying once and scooting out the door real quick when he opens it, but the man's sharp as he is flamboyant. Thankfully, none of his fingers had been near the door, or he'd be in the emergency room instead of at this party. At least he let Castiel keep his trench coat and his dignity after making faces of disgust at all other outer wear Castiel owned. That was after he vowed to take Castiel out shopping for new coats after burning this one in a giant bonfire.
What makes it even worse is that within a couple minutes of arriving, he's waltzed his merry ass off and left Castiel standing awkwardly in the middle of a room. Thankfully, no one pays him much attention, and belatedly realizes the trench coat was a maybe bad idea. He would have blended in better with the not-Castiel clothes. Really, the only person who would feel weird about that is him, and he doesn't go out in public to impress himself.
"This is why I don't go out." He mutters dejectedly to himself, meaning something more along the lines of 'this is why I have no social life'.
"What's that, Cassy?" Balthazar is suddenly behind him and shoves a shot glass of strange liquid into his hand.
"Nothing. What are you trying to poison me with, Balthazar?"
"Relax, it's called a purple nurple. Just don't think about it." He grins at Castiel's unimpressed expression.
With an expression of great pain, Castiel downed the liquid and scrunched his face into oblivion afterwards. "That was horrible."
Balthazar laughed. "You'll be feeling a lot less horrible in a bit though."
"I told you –"
"Yeah yeah, you told me and I don't believe you."
Taking pity in Castiel's wounded animal expression, Balthazar hands Castiel his drink, swings his arms around Castiel's shoulder, and sauntered through the rooms, dragging the other with him
"Tell you what, you look around and land your sights on a fine piece of arse, and I'll make sure you get to hit that. You knock back a couple more shots and enjoy yourself okay?"
Castiel groans. "Balthazar, I probably have a sign on my forehead that says "prude asexual log" because no one ever wants anything to do with me, past copying my notes that is."
"That's only because you're so uptight! If you do what I tell you to and loose a little you and those pretty eyes of yours will be swamped with so many guys and gals I'll have to fight 'em offa you. And maybe get rid of that horrid coat too." Balthazar points around. "Come on, there must be someone in here who gets our Cassy all hot and bothered."
"There isn't." Castiel says flatly, staring straight ahead.
"Come on, you didn't even look around." Balthazar nags.
Castiel sweeps his eyes around just to prove his point, "I told you, I don't…"
"What's that?" Balthazar says a little louder as Castiel trails off inaudibly. He receives no reply and looks over at Castiel, who is currently distractedly watching someone on the dance floor. Balthazar follows his gaze to a cute blonde practically rubbing the guy behind her off with her hips and grins. "Ohh, good choice. You like the blond ones huh?" He claps his startled friend on the back. "You stay here… no, never mind, you'll get lost. Wait for me by the door while I work some mmmagic." He winks.
Castiel look mortified, but Balthazar has practically disappeared like the Cheshire cat (complete with the grin) and he has no choice but to make his way over to the door. Oh god, he's about to try to get the girl to talk to Castiel. At least he didn't realize that Castiel had just actually been ogling Dean Winchester. That would have been all kinds of embarrassing if Balthazar decided to do something about it. Dean Winchester was a huge deal. He's an "adult learner", but really he's only 22 and has both perky undergrads and hot grad students falling at his feet. He's got the brains, the brawns, the car, the attitude, and the charm. Castiel optimistically realizes that he's got one of the five, then realistically reminds himself that brains don't really do shit unless money or charm comes with it.
No matter what kind of black magic Balthazar has access to, Castiel can't imagine Winchester ever paying him attention. What could they possibly have in common? Dean is a mechanic. Castiel almost laughs at the image of him explaining theology of ancient civilizations to an apathetic Dean. That's not necessarily a bad thing is it? Charming as Winchester may be, Castiel isn't looking to have any kind of relationship with someone who can't have decent conversations with him. Someone he has no leverage over. Every breeze will be a threat, and he'll live each moment worrying Dean will be swept away by the draft of any passing bus. Attractive girls all around him willing to give him attention hold far more promise than nerdy grad student with good grades and deep philosophies and a worrisome nature. No, it would never be worth it, even if it were possible. It would be sensible just to scoop Dean Winchester out of his mind. What's the point of wasting time and energy on a hopelessly lost cause that he probably doesn't even want that bad? He's not a teenager pining over celebrities anymore. He should be looking for somewhat promising commitment at this age, not a pretty face. Lost in thought, he nearly trips over a chair and quickly scampers away, hoping no one saw, and realizes with a jolt that he has no idea where he's been going. Didn't they come in this way, somewhere around here? Darn, now he's lost. In a house no less, granted a very crowded house with seizure-inducing lighting and deafening music. Add no sense of direction to the list. Where is the front door again?
"Hey isn't that Castiel?"
"Hey, Cassiel!"
He turns and sees a few people he vaguely recognizes from one of his classes, not sure which one. He blinks at them, not bothering to correct his name. They motion for him to come over. He cocks his head in confusion for a split second before stiffly making his way over, not sure what they could possibly want with him.
"Hey!" It's actually a few people he recognizes.
"Hey." He repeats, unsure of what else to say. It seems like they didn't expect anything different.
"You're not… studying or something? Wow." They sound genuinely interested, but Castiel feels a prick of the familiar embarrassment. He's like an elementary school teacher, no one thinks he exists outside of class and studying, and possibly even sleeps inside the classroom.
"No." I'm just reviewing the material tattooed behind my eyelid, can't you tell? The strobe lights help with the effect.
"Weren't you dating that Meg chick?" A shorter one asks nosily.
"Really? Man, she's a whore."
He blinks. "Yeah, I figured that out."
"Seriously?"
They're just giddy with the interesting turn of events, Castiel reminds himself. Not actually interested in his life. Castiel is at a party. Is this gossip worthy material? Are they going to tell the tale later about how they saw Castiel at a party and talked about his love life! It's probably like discovering a new island, Castiel thought wryly, not really paying attention as they jabbered at him like he's a zoo animal.
"I thought you would be dating a more… you know." He makes a motion. "Someone who's more… like you."
Someone who is equally dull, they mean. Castiel hears it, even if they don't say it. Even when he's trying to mix in, they won't accept him. Always the odd one out, that's him.
"Um. Yeah I guess that's a reasonable expectation."
"Sorry, can barely hear you man. Duuude hot chick 4 o'clock."
"Where?"
"Dude, that's Lisa Braeden."
"Lisa Braeden? Fuck. Fuck, come on…"
"I'll… see you later then." Castiel mutters, unheard, and turns away with a sigh, hoping no one saw him talking to himself.
The air inside suddenly becomes too stuffy and he slips out the door craving the biting air that reminds him of home. As he sits down on the door step, not straying far in case Balthazar actually came looking for him, he hears a slightly familiar laugh. No way.
Standing a few meters away is Dean fucking Winchester, talking into his cellphone, back turned to Castiel.
"Was." Dean says.
Castiel tenses to go back inside, but the irresistibly crisp December air coupled with a crippling sense of curiosity holds him fast. He already feels pathetic for eaves dropping. It has nothing to do with him at all. He is definitely not interested in Dean Winchester in any way.
"I said, was. She ain't your girlfriend no more." Ain't is a crude word, and Castiel wrinkles his nose. The type of people who use it usually don't appeal to Castiel's tastes in company. Besides, he's gossiping, nothing of importance or great mental intellect.
"No, I mean, you're going to dump her, because you have done nothing wrong and she sounds like an intolerable bitch if she says shit like that to make you think it's your fault she fucking cheated on you." Dean's voice is practically a growl, which definitely should not be hot. He sounds strangely defensive, and Castiel winces, since his words had struck a little too close to home.
"Yeah well, seems like that's not true anymore. Look, there's me, and I ain't a saint. I sleep around and I generally don't give a fuck about their feelings and shit."
And no one cares, is the part that makes Castiel shake his head indignantly. The things people can get away with just because they know their way around.
"But that's better than the other option. Pretending to give a fuck about their feelings and then gutting them. That's how I can sleep at night. Because I know that I make no pretense and they'll get over it because they know I've never made any pretense. I never say what I don't mean, I've lied enough in our lives to tell the difference between the lies we need to make and those that are plain selfish."
The way he says that sounds dark, as if the person on the other end of the phone knows exactly what he' talking about, but no one else does. What has he done? Drugs? Theft? Cons?
"In the end, the odd one or two clingers may be mad at me and they may hate my guts but they won't ever think about it again. The worst is when people pull shit like this. They do the sweet caring girl or dude thing and get into your pants or your pantry or whatever they want, and they do a damn good job of it. But either they never meant it in the first place or they're just insufferably flawed, they'll screw up and blame YOU for it. Make you hate yourself. And there's just no running away from that. Either of the above options checks them off the list of girlfriend material. She wants you to feel miserable, makes her feel better about it too cuz you believing it's your fault makes her believe it too. So you go and you tell her it's over and slash or slap her in the face – she definitely deserves a slap for cheating on you at the very least – and then move the fuck on. Don't even try to explain yourself cuz she's just going to argue in that whiny girl-arguing voice and take away your sweet sweet closure. And then you go find someone has the exact opposite hair color and say 'hey, wanna fuck?' Kapeesh?"
It makes so much sense that Castiel is taken aback. It's almost as if Dean is addressing him. The way he sounds genuinely upset about it reminds Castiel of a parent, and he really doesn't know what to think of this new side of Dean. Everyone has hidden sides, it shouldn't be a shock. It's not like he's special or anything. Castiel just wouldn't know what other people's depths are since he doesn't get around to analyzing anyone much. Meg certainly had a deeper side too, but it seems like that idealistic side hadn't won out in the end.
"This is why Dad doesn't let me leave you alone. You get yourself into stupid shit like an idiot."
A brother? He sounds fond, despite the crass word choice. The warmth is in his tone, and something else Castiel can't quite place, but really likes.
"Shut up. I just understand people is all."
A pause while the other end that Castiel can't hear speaks.
"Yeah right. 'Oh you're suicidal? At least you haven't got ghosts and demons on your ass and you're not a rugaru and haven't been bitten by a vampire or werewolf. Here, copy down this Latin incantation if you ever bump into a demon though and oh, don't forget to put salt in your doors and windows. So stop trying to kill yourself cuz there's already a billion things that want to do that and they don't need your help. That'll be a bajillion bucks sir.' Yeah, that's gonna work out real well."
Well… ok Castiel understood none of that. Is it an inside joke? A bad analogy? It definitely sound like a bad joke, but he said it pretty seriously and bares striking resemblance to something he had heard multiple times before, maybe in a class or during research. Why would Dean be talking about that? Those aren't common knowledge right? It's not as if he said to hide under your blankets and lock the windows, or carry crosses. Latin and salt seem a little too drastic for a joke. And what the hell is a rugaru? How old is this brother? Is he telling him a story? Old enough to be having sex. Castiel makes a face and refuses to go down that train of thought.
"Don't roll your eyes at me, bitch." He snaps indignantly, the humor in his voice making it more comical than it should have been. "You're welcome, baby brother."
Although Dean's tone is lightly sarcastic and teasing, it's fond and, dare he say, loving, doesn't sound like the insensitive heartbreaker he's made out to be. Maybe there is actually a good reason so many people like him. Definitely not including Castiel himself.
Dean hangs up and stands there with his head slanted upwards for a little while more, as if he's actually enjoying the solitude more than his usual antics. He turns around with the remnant of a content expression on his face before spotting Castiel and freezing. They both freeze actually. Dean looks panicked for a millisecond, then relaxes, as if he had thought he said something he didn't want anyone overhearing, and checked back through the entire conversation, reassuring himself that he hadn't spilt the secret.
Castiel, however, is mortified. Not only is he caught in Dean's vicinity alone, but he's also just basically intruded on his privacy.
"Sorry I–" I what? What was he doing? Listening in for entertainment? Crap, crap, crap. He looks away, heart racing, carefully keeps his expression blank, with little success. "I couldn't help over hearing. I probably shouldn't have done that."
Even when trying not to look at Dean, he sees his eyebrow go up coldly.
"It's fine man." He says, the walks past Castiel without a hitch in his step.
Castiel is almost relieved. His eyes flicker up to glance at the taller male of their own accord and meets with the other's gaze for a split second, and it's too late to stop it once he's noticed. To his chagrin, Dean looks gorgeous even up close. His embarrassment thankfully doesn't last long. He's alone once again; Dean hasn't even spared him a second glance. Of course, why would it be a big deal? He's only heard a pretty generic conversation, as conversations go. He sits down with a huff, guts twisting in embarrassment.
Where the heck is Balthazar?
He pulls his phones out and texts his own brother, Gabriel.
Do you know what a rugeru is? Did I spell that right?
His phone buzzes mere minutes later.
Gabriel: Where the hell did you hear that? It's a type of human flesh eating monster. Thought you do theology and religion and stuff.
Gabriel did know a suspicious amount about this type of thing.
Overheard someone mention it. He texts back.
The reply this time is instant.
Gabriel: Who? Are you with them now? Be careful.
Just a student who goes to my campus. Why?
This time, it takes forever for Gabriel to reply.
Gabriel: Little brother, maybe it's time to call the folks. I won't have a conversation about this over text, my thumbs are going to fall off. I'll see you later, alright?
Castiel confirms it and frowns. He hasn't called the "folks" in months. He'd left with Gabriel when Gabriel moved out here to attend college while he was in high school. Their family was… over whelming, to say the least. Their brothers and father have always been distant and strange, and sometimes a horror to behold together. Castiel felt like he was always kept in the dark about some secret that caused them to have such divided opinions. Gabriel had whisked him away from Boston as soon as he could, and Castiel is forever thankful for it. Having a chat with the folks is never a good thing, and he can't help but dread the reason Gabriel thinks he actually has need to speak with them again. In spite of that, curiosity burns at what could possibly be the correlation between rugarus and needing to consult family.
Balthazar breaks his train of thought by opening the door. "Sorry Cassy, she was in a bad mood cuz Winchester left her ass hangin'.
Castiel raised an eyebrow. "Then what have you been doing all this time?"
"Ah, well, Meg showed up."
Castiel frowns, refusing to be perturbed by his ex being in the general vicinity. "And how does that have anything to do with you running late?"
"How do you think?" Balthazar grins crazily and winks. "Come on, let's go. The night is still young and I still need to burn that coat of yours."
Balthazar pulls him up and strolls to his car with his hand on Castiel's back, a habit that he's developed, at first from teasing Castiel about his reluctance to make physical contact with another human being.
Castiel finds a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.