Hey, everyone! I already have the whole story planned out but until the holiday season arrives, this fic will be put on hold. He's a special prologue for you to enjoy!

It was Thanksgiving! The Griffins gathered around the TV to watch Thanksgiving football. Barbara sat by the window uninterested in the sport. She gasped and smiled as she saw a tiny white speck fall from the sky.

"Look!" she said pointing.

"What is it, Barbara?" Meg asked.

"Snow! It's starting to snow outside!"

Everyone jumped off the couch and gathered around the window. Sure enough, more tiny specks of snow came falling from the sky. Brian looked at Barbara.

"Christmas is on its way", he said. "Looking forward to it?"

He was happy about it for once this year. This was Barbara's first Christmas with the family. Barbara smiled as shrugged.

"A little bit", she answered. "Not that much."

"Why?" Peter asked. "Christmas is the best time of the year."

"You must already know what this season's about. I mean, come on. It's what fall and winter's made for. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all on top of each other."

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked.

"Let me explain it", Barbara said as she pulled out the calendar.

Everyone sat down as Barbara started singing while pointing to the holidays on the calendar.

"It's the holiday clusterfuck, holiday clusterfuck
Citizens gather together to run amuck
Buck flying everywhere, folks pulling out their hair
People are waving while paying with great despair

If we don't fill winter with dollar bills
Then your depression peaks on top
We'd rather have stress than to be real depressed
So we all shop until we drop"

Barbara turned on the TV showing the news reporting holiday cheer beginning to fill the atmosphere.

"Malls crowded everyplace, nowhere a parking space
Everyone's screaming "get your ass out of my face"
Buying kids cheap costumes, lines in all the bathrooms
Paying a fortune, extortion's now in full bloom

People are shoving while claiming they're loving
That holiday joy they feel
And your kids feel that joy if you buy the right toy
Better keep your eyes peeled"

Barbara opened the door and smiled as she danced beneath the fresh falling snow.

"Holiday clusterfuck, holiday clusterfuck
Citizens gather together to run amuck
Antiques and Christmas cups, suicide rates go up
Kids whining "buy me a robotic psycho pup"

Holidays jumbled, three months is a bundle
To handle with grace and ease
We must make a living so piss of Thanksgiving
And jump straight to Christmas please

Going, going and gone!
Change decorations out on your front lawn
Losing that magical touch
Seeing your in-laws three times is too much

Trick or treat, merry Christmas
Going to church for your annual mass
Kwanzaa, Hanukkah too
Best get it right, someone's liable to sue"

Barbara pointed back to the TV showing kids sitting in Santa Claus' lap saying what they want for Christmas while she covered Stewie's ears.

Holiday clusterfuck, holiday clusterfuck
Millions of billions find they're just shit out of luck
Visiting Santa's crib, lying straight to your kids
Pray they don't need therapy for your tiny fib

This shit comes earlier, seems almost every year
Making us spend away
Christmas, if we voted should not be promoted
Right after St. Patrick's Day

Barbara pulled out the calendar to prove her point.

"Christmas and Halloween, Thanksgiving in between
Putting on more weight than Shamu on Lean Cuisine
Snow falling everywhere, traffic's a real nightmare
Can't wait for summer, a bummer, we're kind of scared

Emotion's flying, our patience is dying
What happened to all our cheer?
We whisk money away until Valentine's Day
Thank god it's just once a year"

Barbara changed the channel showing holiday specials on every channel.

"Holiday TV specials
Watching Santa Claus and Jesus wrestle
Sending out Christmas cards too
Wishing good cheer to folks you hardly knew

It's the holiday, the holiday…!

Holiday clusterfuck, holiday clusterfuck
When did this time of year full of cheer start to suck?

Someone cut us a break
Help us for heaven's sake
We're frowning while drowning
Please god, no more fruit cake

It lasts for a while so put on your smiles
Don't let them know how you feel
We all have to fake it, so shut up and take it
And chow on your Christmas meal

It's the holiday….the holiday….
Clusterfuck!"

Song used: Holiday Clusterfuck by the Nostalgia Critic