Hello to all my readers out there (I run out of greetings to use). So, this is the next chapter, and there may not be much company interaction related to Fili and Kili, but most of it is in Bilbo's view. The story should pick up next chapter, so for now, just bear with me.

Chapter 8: Laments

Bilbo watched as the rest of the company stirred. Oin seemed to have replaced Bifur on guard and had retired to his bedroll to doze for a while. Thorin too was sleeping, finally, so everyone just left him where he was, as they did his two resting nephews. Needing to stretch his legs, Bilbo decided to step out of the cave for and walk around for a bit.

Ah, that feels good, he said to himself as he stretched his arms up towards the sky. His thoughts then turned in another, more unsavoury topic.

When Bilbo had agreed to come along on the quest, he had been told of the dangers. He had been told that he might not come back as the same hobbit. He had been told that he might not come back at all. Yet he had not truly realised the extent of the danger the journey had to offer, not even when they had last faced the orcs or had been caught by the trolls.

This was on a whole new level.

Bilbo was not the bravest of the company, for hobbits were not overly brave beings. However, he was not afraid to try and hold his own when the time called for it. But when it was something that was just…so…evil... Bilbo shuddered, unable to even think about what had befallen the two youngest of the company. And they had been trained to be warriors. The odds were not looking well in his favour.

The company, with the exception of Oin, had left Fili and Kili relatively alone, all unsure what to do in such circumstances, even Balin who was by far the oldest and most experienced of the group. Oin had warned them all not to ask too many questions until the two dwarves had regained some of their former strength, yet it seemed painfully clear that they were not the same two easy going dwarves who had turned up on his doorstep back in the Shire.

They all heard the tortured cries of Kili and saw the pained, wary expressions worn across both their faces. Fili had grown especially good at crafting his face into a blank mask in the time he had been missing, and Bilbo often found himself wondering what had transpired in the period of time they had been held by the orcs. He remembered what Kili had said about their ruthlessness and found himself believing the brunette's words more and more each day he laid eyes upon the archer and his brother.

"You stay brooding for long enough and you'll turn into Thorin," a voice pipped up from beside him, drawing the hobbit out of the daze that he had been drifting in a while. Bilbo turned to acknowledge Bofur beside him.

"I wasn't brooding, just…thinking," the small being replied. Bofur knew better than to ask what the hobbit had been thinking about.

"Ah, well, there's nothing much any of us can do," he said, looking back towards the mouth of the cave, voice lacking its usual cheerful tone.

The two stayed in silence for some time, both buried deep in thoughts that were better left unmentioned least they should further darken the already dark mood that surrounded the company. Bofur provided some comfort to the hobbit however, unknowing as he might be smoking his pipe. The act was just so…normal after everything that had happened.

After a while, Bombur ambled out of the cave, walking towards them with his vast weight hoisted in an almost inspiring way. He yawned and took up a position beside his brother on the rock the latter was perched upon.

"Who's cooking breakfast?" Bofur asked as soon as his brother was settled. Bombur grimaced.

"Gloin offered to, but Dori insisted that he cook," the round dwarf informed the pair before him.

"Lucky too," Bofur remarked to the air, "Gloin might be a good warrior and just as good with numbers, but his cooking skills leave something to be desired."

Bilbo, having not tasted the ginger bearded dwarf's cooking had nothing to input into the conversation. But, if what the others said was true, he was better off that way. According to just about all the company, Gloin's culinary skills were second only to Dwalin's.

"Thorin awake?" Bofur asked, drawing Bilbo back into the discussion between the two dwarves beside him. He watched as Bombur shook his head.

"Still dead to the world when I came out here," Bombur answered.

"Better off that way," Bofur commented, "He's been too strung up worrying about the lads and the orcs that got away. Not to mention the deadline for reaching Erebor and the fact that our esteemed wizard has abandoned us yet again. What do you think?" the toymaker finished, turning to face the hobbit. Bilbo felt taken aback.

"I think he's just concerned for the wellbeing of his nephews, for, from what I've heard, they are the only kin he has left," he said, somewhat uncomfortable with voicing his thoughts on the company leader. He could feel the friction between the two of them, as he was sure the rest of the company could feel as well.

"Aye, that is true. They are the last of his real family he has got besides their mother, his sister, back in mountains," Bofur acknowledged.

"They'll be fine," Bombur said, suddenly speaking up, "I doubt Thorin will allow them to just give up. And besides, this is Fili and Kili we are talking about." It sounded like wishful thinking to Bilbo.

"I don't know," Bofur said, doubtful of his brother's words, "They are young and nowhere near having the capability that Thorin or even Nori have for dealing with being in such circumstances. We don't even know for sure what happened to them." Bombur frowned at his brother.

"It's unlike you to be so negative," he stated and Bilbo had to agree. Bofur was usually the one cracking jokes along with Fili and Kili, and was one of the most self-assured dwarves on the quest, or at least from what Bilbo could tell. The toymaker was already to make the other's laugh, whether it be at his expense or another's.

"What's the point of lightening a situation as hopeless as this?" Bofur shot back. Now it was Bilbo's turn to frown.

"Surely it is not as hopeless as you are making it out to be?" he asked. The toymaker just shook his head.

"You will find," he said finally, "That in these scenarios, expecting the worst generally means that you are not crushed at the end when they don't meet your expectations."

Drowning in a sea of his own inner torment; a fitting way to go, what with the guilt he was feeling deep inside himself at that moment, and for good reason too. The injuries that his brother had received had been caused by him. The broken ribs; his doing. The jagged incisions going deep into his brother's skin; his own hands had wielded the weapon that had caused the wounds. The excuse that he had no choice, that Kili had too been forced to maim his own flesh and blood did not excuse the fact that he had hurt his little brother.

He had hurt his little brother.

Hadn't he sworn to keep any and all harm from befalling the very same dwarf? Some promise that was if he had broken by actually hurting his sibling.

Kili had told him not to worry, or had said as much anyway, not using those exact words. He forgave his brother, yet Fili did not forgive himself. He didn't know if he could, not after what he had done, and the memories only grew stronger as he slept.

"Please," he could remember hearing his brother whisper in between broken sobs. He could remember his own anguish as he was forced to ignore his brother's words. If the archer never spoke to him again, he would understand completely. But Kili had forgiven him. Now that, Fili did not understand. He had failed his brother, and yet the same dwarf bore no grudge against him. Such were the miracles of life.

A familiar, comforting presence beside Fili relaxed the blonde, and helped to banish some of the darker thoughts floating around in his mind. They were still there, but, for the time being, were hung back at the edge of his conscience allowing a more peaceful oblivion to take over the dwarf's mind.

And so it was that the dwarf drifted into a more pleasant sleep.

The thing mentioned in Fili's dream/thoughts (not sure what to call it) was part of the prompt, so don't grill me for it please.

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