AN: Little Yero cute? Absolutely. Teenage Fiyero cute? Not. At. All. You'll see.

Elphaba'sGirl: Punished by the mer community because her father Frex is evil? That would be so mean :O "Your Dad is evil, let's banish you." Nope, it's not that, but you might be getting warmer. And no, she wasn't banished from a tribe because of her magic powers (she does have them, though, as we will find out later).

MyVisionIsDying, I love your 'abducted-by-alient-then-left-on-the-beach'-theory , but it's not the case :P. And she also didn't wander out onto the beach and hit her head.

Musicgal, your review made me laugh so hard xD.

Siarenthander, no, she's not from earth ;).

Sorry guys, no Fiyeraba yet... but there might be some Colinda coming up *waggles eyebrows*.

Can you guess to which song I was listening while writing this? :3

Chapter 5. Schadenfreude

'Dancing through life,' Fiyero sang softly, quite literally sliding into the room in his tight white pants and picking an apple from the fruit bowl. He threw it up in the air, turned a pirouette and caught the piece of fruit again. 'Swaying and sweeping…' He took a bite as he walked further into the room, snapping his fingers to a beat only he could hear. 'And always keeping cool…'

Something hit him in the back of his head and he whipped around. 'Hey! What was that for?'

'For you being the brainless idiot you are,' Elphaba, who was sitting in a chair at the other side of the room, snapped at him. 'Would you stop singing that stupid song? Some people are trying to study here.'

'The song is not stupid!' he protested. 'It's awesome!' He turned another pirouette in front of her, striking a pose. 'What do you think of my new pants? Since I didn't get them for my seventeenth birthday the other day, I thought I'd just buy them myself. Aren't they awesome? Seriously, what do you think of them?'

Cohvu, who sat on Elphaba's other side, was stifling his laughter. 'Why, Yero… they sure are… um…'

'Tight?' Elphaba offered drily, and Cohvu chuckled. 'Yeah… that.'

Elphaba smirked and smacked her flat hand against Cohvu's in a triumphant gesture.

Fiyero just huffed. 'Yes, they're tight… but they're supposed to be,' he tried to explain. 'It's totally fashionable to dress like this. I bet Galinda would agree with me if she were here. Where is she, anyway?'

'Shopping,' said Cohvu. 'She tried to drag Elphaba with her, but didn't succeed.'

'Thank Oz,' muttered Elphaba.

'She'll probably be back soon,' Cohvu added, and Fiyero brightened. 'Awesome. I can't wait to hear what she thinks of my pants!' he said enthusiastically. He jumped up in the air, dancing on as he started humming his stupid song again.

Elphaba threw another pen at his head. 'Shut up, Fiyero!'

'Fine,' he said, offended. 'I'll just go to someone who does appreciate my pants.'

Cohvu laughed. 'Oh, so now your pants feel unappreciated? Poor pants.'

Elphaba sniggered and Fiyero glared at them both. 'You can laugh all you want,' he declared, keeping his head up high, 'but know that I will have the last laugh. I am going to be even more popular than I already am, and one day I will be loved by every single person in Oz, along with my song and my pants.' He made a few dance moves. 'Nothing matters, but knowing nothing matters…' He jumped onto a chair, then onto the table, making the lamp hanging above it swing dangerously back and forth. 'It's just life, so keep dancing-'

Crack.

Fiyero froze. Slowly, he turned around, trying to get a good look at his backside. 'Did… did my pants just…'

'Rip?' Cohvu finished, trying his hardest to stifle his laughter, but failing horribly. 'Yes.'

Fiyero turned around again, horror written all over his face; and that expression, combined with his ripped pants, sent both Cohvu and Elphaba into a fit of laughter that nearly literally got them rolling off their chairs.

Fiyero went beet red, with both shame and anger. 'Stop laughing! It's not funny!'

'It's schadenfreude,' Elphaba managed to choke out, still laughing. Fiyero just scowled at her. 'What?'

'People taking pleasure in your pain!' Cohvu said in a sing-song voice, before bursting out into another fit of laughter upon seeing the look on Fiyero's face.

The prince stormed out of the room, embarrassed and mad at his friends for laughing at him.

'You know,' Cohvu said after a while, when their laughter had died down a bit. His gray eyes were suddenly serious. 'We're laughing now, but honestly? I don't think it's all that funny.'

Elphaba's grin faded and she sighed. 'I know. Me neither.' She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on top of her knees. 'He just changed so much. What happened to the boy that took me to the beach each year to watch the sea turtles hatch? The one that we used to play games with, that taught me how to ride a horse? Now all he's interested in are parties and girls and alcohol.'

Cohvu slumped down into his chair. 'Sometimes I think he's forgotten all about us,' he complained. 'I mean, this new friend group of his at school is demanding all his attention. Just look at him. Tight white pants… don't make me laugh. And those sunglasses… not to mention the girls always swarming all around him.'

'He's got himself yet another girlfriend, did you know that?' Elphaba asked him, and Cohvu rolled his eyes. 'That would be number nine this month. Seriously, I don't know what he's up to.'

Somewhere in the castle, a door slammed shut and it wasn't before long that Galinda pretty much skipped into the room, beaming and carrying a few large shopping bags. 'Good afternoon, everyone!' she gushed. 'Look at everything I've bought today!' She dumped the bags in Cohvu and Elphaba's laps. 'I got a pair of shoes that match my new outfit – you know, the yellow one - and I bought an outfit that matches my new pair of shoes – the blue and silver ones, remember, with the high heels – and then I bought some jewellery and new make-up to go with it all, and then I saw this amazifying fuchsia sundress and I just had to buy it, but then I had to go in search of a matching hat, necklace, and pair of shoes again, so that's why I took so long.' She had to take a deep breath after that. 'Anything interesting happen around here while I was away?'

'Fiyero bought himself tight white pants,' Cohvu informed her, and Elphaba added drily, 'And he ripped them almost right away with one of his stupid little dances.'

Galinda giggled. 'Shame I wasn't here to see that.' She plopped down into a chair next to Elphaba and abruptly changed the subject. 'I still think it's weird that you don't like shopping, Elphie. I mean, you're a girl, for Oz's sake.'

'I'm also green,' Elphaba quipped, and Galinda quirked an eyebrow at her. 'And that has anything to do with shopping because…?'

'Because one,' Elphaba said, 'shopping means going out in a public place, where once again, everyone is going to stare at me – including the shop assistants. And two, because it's really, really hard to find a colour that doesn't clash with… well, me.'

'If you would just come with me once, I could show you that that's not true!' Galinda whined, but then she shook her head. 'Never mind. Where is Fifi, anyway?'

Just then, Fiyero came dancing into the room once more, twirling before them. 'What do you think?' he said smugly. 'No rip to be seen, right?'

Elphaba raised one eyebrow. 'How did you do that?'

Fiyero grinned. 'I bought five pairs of these pants, just to be sure, and because I loved them so much.' Then he saw Galinda and his face lit up. 'Ooh, Glin! You're back! What do you think?' He showed off his pants once more, and to his utter delight, Galinda squealed in enthusiasm. 'Oh, Fifi!' she nearly screeched, jumping up and down. 'Those are so swankified!'

'I know, right!' He started dancing again. 'We can dance 'til it's light…' he sang. 'Find the prettiest girl, give her a whirl…' He took Galinda's hand and made her spin, which caused her to giggle madly. 'You think I'm the prettiest girl?' she asked him, batting her eyelashes at him.

Fiyero smiled at her, then looked over her blonde head and winked at Elphaba. 'Not really, actually.'

She rolled her eyes at him. 'Cut the crap, Tiggular.'

He put one hand over his heart mockingly. 'Ouch. That hurt my feelings, Fae.'

A few months after the Tiggulars had officially taken Elphaba in, Fiyero had declared that he found 'Elphaba' to be too long. Why he had resorted to 'Fae' as a way of shortening her name, she didn't know – it didn't seem at all logical to her, but since she couldn't talk it out of his head, she had just accepted it.

'Yes, well,' she sneered at him now, 'your ego is so huge at the moment, there's no harm in making it deflate a little.'

He scowled at her. 'What in Oz is wrong with you? Got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?' He shook his head. 'Anyway, I'm off to the guys. See you later.' With that, he disappeared.

Cohvu sighed deeply. 'See what I mean now?'

'I just hope that it's a phase,' Elphaba muttered, 'and that it will pass soon, because he's no fun at all like this.'

'Coco?' Galinda asked in a small voice, and Cohvu looked up at her. 'Yeah, Glin?'

Now she was fluttering her eyelashes at him. 'Do you think I'm the prettiest girl?' she asked him with a slight pout, and he chuckled and took her hand, kissing it in an exaggerated gesture. 'Of course, Milady. You are the most gorgeous woman ever in existence.'

The blonde blushed and giggled. Elphaba crossed her arms and quirked an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. 'Well, thank you very much.'

Galinda giggled again. 'Oh, don't worry, Elphie,' she assured her friend. 'You can come in second.'

Elphaba just shook her head in exasperation.

It was a few days later, when school had resumed after Lurlinemas break and Galinda had gone back home, that Lori went for a walk on the beach and found Elphaba there, sitting on top of the dunes, staring off into the distance. It wasn't until she came closer that she noticed the tear streaks on the green girl's cheeks, and she frowned a little. Elphaba almost never cried.

She climbed to the top of the dune Elphaba was sitting on and sat down next to her. 'Elphaba? What's wrong, sweetheart?' she asked gently, and Elphaba sniffled. 'It's nothing,' she said, turning away from the older woman. 'It's… stupid.'

Lori wrapped an arm around her. 'Talk to me.'

The girl heaved a shaky sigh. 'It's just… this really is stupid, but… I miss Yero,' she finally confessed. 'He's just so… so different, and I don't like one bit of it. Every time I see him, he's either dancing around in his stupid tight pants or kissing one girl or the other completely senseless in front of everybody.' She sighed. 'At first I thought it was just annoying, but now… I just miss him,' she said softly. 'We've been best friends for, like, forever, and now he barely so much as looks at me – unless it's to make some kind of 'funny' remark.' She frowned. 'The other day, one of his friends nearly bumped into me, and do you know what Fiyero said? 'Maybe he saw green and it meant 'go'.' She rested her chin on top of her knees. 'And that from the one person in my life that I thought would never make stupid joked about my skin.'

Lori pulled her closer, rubbing her back. 'It's just a phase, Elphaba,' she said reassuringly. 'Sooner or later, he's going to realise that he can't keep on 'dancing through life' forever.'

'I hope so,' Elphaba muttered, wiping her nose with her sleeve. She sighed and Lori laughed softly. 'I know what you're saying, Elphaba,' she said consolingly. 'Believe me, I know. Hamold and I are worried about him, too. He's just not acting like himself, and we're not sure why. He says nothing is wrong, but I don't believe that.' She shook her head. 'I think something is bothering him and that's why he is like this. If only we knew what.'

'Yeah…' Elphaba sighed again and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Suddenly, she frowned a little, studying her fingers with the traces of her tears on the tips. 'Lori?' She and Cohvu had dropped the 'Aunt' and 'Uncle' when they got older, though Galinda still called Fiyero's parents that.

'Yes?'

'Have you ever wondered why regular water burns me, but my own tears do not?'

Lori blinked, then looked at Elphaba's fingertips and her cheeks. There wasn't a trace of red to be seen, let alone the blisters that usually came with the green girl touching water – as they had found out several times over the past years. They had all been careful with water around Elphaba, but nevertheless, they couldn't protect her from water completely; it had happened a few times that someone had accidentally spilled a drink over her skin, or that she had been outside when it had started raining. They had found that treating the blisters with oil seemed to have a soothing effect, though, so that the burn wounds at least disappeared relatively quickly again.

'You're right,' the Queen said, musing. 'I've never thought about that.'

Elphaba wiped her hand on her dress. 'Me, neither. Perhaps it's just because tears are a natural thing, you know – it would be pretty weird if I were allergic to fluids created by my own body, wouldn't it?'

Lori shook her head, smiling. 'You sound like a biology expert.'

Elphaba flashed her a grin. 'I have a biology test tomorrow. I've been studying for it for the past few days.' Her face brightened. 'Hey… perhaps I could ask my biology teacher if he knows something about my skin! I don't know – perhaps there are conditions or illnesses or something that come with green skin…'

'Elphaba,' Lori said firmly, placing her hand on the green girl's shoulders. 'It's not an illness, sweetheart, and you should stop looking at it as if it is. You just have green skin. Nothing more, nothing less.'

'And I'm allergic to water,' Elphaba added sarcastically. 'Perfectly normal.'

Lori sighed. 'Elphaba…'

'Alright, alright. But I could still ask, right?' the girl said. 'Or even my geography teacher – who knows, perhaps there's a land across the ocean that's completely populated with green people and that's where I come from!' She seemed excited at the mere idea.

'Sweetie,' Lori said sympathetically. 'There's nothing across the sea but the Great Kells and the rest of Oz. Don't get your hopes up, okay?' She squeezed Elphaba's shoulder. 'You might never find out where you came from or what happened to you that landed you here.'

Elphaba sighed. 'I know.' She looked at the Queen. 'And I am happy that I ended up here,' she added. 'You do know that, don't you?'

Lori laughed and hugged the girl. 'Of course I do, sweetheart. We're very happy to have you here, too.' She touched Elphaba's nose with her index finger. 'Even Fiyero, though he doesn't really show it right now. Don't worry, he will come around. Eventually. You just wait and see.'

A few weeks later, when Fiyero came home from school, Lori immediately noticed that he looked as if he had been given a good beating. There was a bruise in his face, his clothes were dirty and torn here and there, and his face was one big thundercloud. 'Yero?'

He stomped into the room. 'What?' she snapped, and she eyed him up and down, one eyebrow arched. 'What in Oz happened to you?'

He grumbled. 'Me and Cohvu had a fight.'

Lori was stunned. 'A fight?' she echoed. 'Yero, you and Cohvu haven't had a fight since the day you first met. Ever. I've barely even seen the two of you so much as argue together.'

'I know,' Fiyero sneered. 'But this was a fight.'

'Sit down,' Lori ordered, gesturing towards a chair. 'Tell me what happened.'

With an exaggerated sigh, he plopped down into the chair, swinging his legs over the arm of it and tapping on the other arm with his fingers. 'So I was kissing this girl,' he said in a bored voice. 'And then some other chick asked me to dance for her, so I did. I jumped onto the picnic table in the schoolyard and then my pants ripped. Again.'

Lori stifled a laugh. Fortunately, Fiyero was studying his nails rather than his mother, so he didn't notice that. 'Anyway, most of them then laughed at me. Elphaba was there, and she was laughing, too, and I was pissed, so I told her that vegetables should be seen and not heard-'

His mother exploded. 'You did what?!'

'She laughed at me!' he defended himself, but Lori rose to her feet, her hazel eyes smouldering. 'Fiyero Hamold Tiggular!' she fumed. 'What is happening to you?!'

Her son just shrugged. 'Oz, Mom, relax. It's not like she cares, or something. She knew it was a joke.'

'Did she now?' Lori asked in a dangerously low voice, but Fiyero just rolled his eyes. 'Anyways, Cohvu then got mad at me for saying that, just like you just now, and he insisted I take it back. I told him no, and then he pushed me up against a wall and ordered me to apologise to Elphaba, which, of course, I didn't, and then he punched me. Just like that, he punched me!' He rubbed his slightly bruised jaw with an indignant face. 'So I punched him back, and he got a bloody nose, and he pushed me against the wall again and then we started fighting until the teacher pulled us apart and sent us both off to detention. All my friends told her that it was just Cohvu who had started it, but she didn't believe us because Elphaba told her that it wasn't Cohvu at all, it was me, which I thought was really mean of her-'

'You thought it was mean of her?' Lori interrupted him incredulously. She shook her head. 'Fiyero, I don't believe this!'

'So then we both got detention,' Fiyero finished, ignoring her. He rose to his feet. 'Can I go now?' Without waiting for an answer, he stomped out of the kitchen.

Lori sighed and rested her face in her hands, suddenly feeling tired. She was going to have a long talk with her son soon.